Mid-ep, set during THE SCENE in Under Suspicion. With endless gratitution to delgaserasca, my wonderful friend & beta-reader. Lyrics taken from You Had Me From Hello by Kenny Chesney.


SCATTERED DEFENCES

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Inside, I built a wall so high around my heart,
I thought I'd never fall; one touch, you brought it down,
the bricks of my defences scattered on the ground.

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You can't bear to look at her as she rubs the cotton over your fingers. This is what she does to criminals, this is what she does to victims, this is what she does to people she wants to lock behind bars for the rest of their natural lives—you hold your hands steady, head hanging between them, face down, take deep breaths.

You hear her breathing heavy over your own, you never imagined you'd be sat here: you've always been on the other side of this and it feels like there's a wall between you; you can't bring yourself to speak to her right now.

There's a wall between you, like the one you built around your heart: so high, so wide, so un-fucking-breakable, no matter who tries to get through. Your mother always warned you it'd hurt more than help; "that wall's gonna stop your happiness, Horatio; it'll bite you in the ass someday."

Her fingers brush her hand as she pulls away and you swallow hard, lift your head and blink, blink, blink again. You take a breath and you speak, mentally kicking the wall away.

You kick away the remains, you realise; she broke down the wall itself long ago.