A/N: Sorry it took me so long to come out with this piece but here it is. Jane's version of my first story, Not so happy anniversary. BTW, did did anyone see the newest episode. All I can say is OMG. Poor Jane though, he really did believe that she would tell him. Well as Lisbon said, You can't trust the mistress of Red John. Anyways, back to the story.

Disclaimer: I do not own The Mentalist or it's characters.

Today is our third year anniversary but I don't know what it is. I can't seem to stay with her, but I can't let her be with anyone else. I pretended to forget what today was but I can't seem to shake the idea that she saw right through that. That is what I am most afraid of now. That she can see right through me but I am losing my ability to see through her and read her mind like I used to before we got married. We were so happy then, more happy then we are not, thats for sure. I just don't know what it is, I love her but I can shake the feeling of what my wife would think. Everyone said that she would of wanted me to move on and carry on with my life, find someone that I love and settle down and start a family. And I did but after the first year anniversary, something went wrong and everything went downhill from there. Something just made me want to stay away from her. I was damaged goods and she deserved so much more, why couldn't she just see that for herself.

I never wanted to hurt her but I know I did when I left for six months and slept with Lorelei Martins. Ugh, just thinking about that name makes me cringe. She changed when she heard about that, trued changing her looks to make herself more 'prettier' if that was even possible.

I know she stays up till the early hours of the morning just waiting for me to come back to her place but as usual, I never show up. I just sit in the attic and picture the colossal shit storm that is going to come my way when she comes into work tomorrow morning.

It never came.

The next morning, I move from the attic to my couch, just in time to see her walking towards her office after making herself an extra large cup of coffee. Everyone start rolling in and I greet them happily, only getting a grunt from Cho and Rigsby and not even a look from Van Pelt. They must really hate my guts for what I am doing to their beloved boss, but I cant help it if I'm damaged. Letting go of your first true love, dead or alive, is not an easy task, especially when the person who took her and our daughter away is still roaming the streets, looking her his next victim.

The next time she comes out of her office, she brings out a large cake, obviously home baked and gives a generous slice to everyone but me, then proceeds to walk back to her office, taking a slice and another coffee with her. Ouch. I can tell she is doing it on purpose. Trying to get me to realise how empty my life is and how much damage I am causing her and I can tell you this, It is working.

The second time she comes out, hair let down, brown ringlets falling onto her solders, it is around lunchtime and she continues to ignore me on her way to the kitchen to get what I believe to be her third cup of coffee today.
"Teresa" I call as she walks out of the kitchen and towards her office. She doesn't reply.

"TERESA" I call again, and again she doesn't answer.
She is so infuriating sometimes, although I get why she's angry, her husband spending more time at his dead wife's grave that with her at home, I'd be pretty pissed off as well.

I watched her from the safety of my couch before I got the guts to walk up to her office. I knocked this time (and it felt weird) and then entered, standing at the top of her desk, just watching her until she finally put down her pen and asked,

"What do you want Jane" I knew I was in trouble when she went back to using last names.
"I want to know what is wrong Teresa?" I could see her focus waver when I used her first name.

"Nothing is wrong. Why would you think that?" she answered, looking back down at her paperwork, pretending to read it.

"Well you haven't talked to me all day"

"Oh Haven't I, well it must of slipped my mind" she spat, sarcasm dripping from the last words. I walked around her desk and spun her chair around so that we are face to face. Yes. There was no were to escape to now. I know she hates it when I do this but it needs to be done.

"Talk to me" I say, concern clear in my voice.
"Talk to you, TALK TO YOU" she begins to shout. "How can I talk to you when you aren't even around. You NEVER come home, we NEVER go out for dinner, NEVER do anything that normal couples are supposed to do. We didn't even have a proper honeymoon because of you stupid obsession. So how could you ask me to talk to you if you aren't even there to listen to me." Before I gets another word out, she continues. "All I ever wanted for you was to see that you could be happy if you just open for god damn eyes and look. I was always here for you and you took that to your advantage. I guess they did say that love was blind." she took a deep breath before continuing. "I can't help you if you keep yourself locked up in that old attic, so i'll give you a choice: Be Happy and live your life, as your wife would of wanted or agree to a divorce.."
"Teresa.." I saw trying to interrupt what was about to come next. The 'storm', but she quickly put my hand up to silence me before continuing,

"Because, Patrick, it was our anniversary yesterday and you didn't even remember. You never forget anything until now, you even said so yourself. I will not wait around for you to break my heart Patrick. Here." she hand me her rings, gathers her keys, gun and purse from her desk and walks out of the CBI without looking back. It really did break me.

I ran from her office, through the bullpen and up to my attic where I quickly shut the door and cried. I cried before there were no more tears to be shed and then came up with my greatest way to win Teresa Lisbon's heart back.

My wife.

A/N: How was it? Please R&R if you want part two.
Thanks :D