Craig looked out of his window in his house that he shared with his wife waiting for her to return from the classes she had been teaching, she was a wonderful gal he thought to himself smiling sheepishly. The burning sun of summer, all was sweltering in hot streets and people all around were cursing their lot staying indoors and sipping on cold drinks sweating profusely. "I am not going there into that television until she knows, until she knows the things I've learned and kept secret for the past ten months." Craig thought to himself. He was almost bored enough to turn on the tv whose insides he knew all too well, the thoughts of Teddy came to him he sighed a mournful sigh, he remembered holding his dying friend the costume buried under moth balls in his attic… "I can't bear looking at it" he thought (cringing slightly at the unintentional pun)…

(and now we journey into his mind, I cannot speak for him all that well)

There I was 2017, the smell of drugs were all too apparent in the loft, I never thought someone who wasn't human could die, I never thought a feeling could die. Teddy didn't feel so well, he was shaking as he barged into the room and the smell of iron filled the air "they fucking shot me" he screamed as he nearly stumbled and fell to his knees, "they drove right by as I was entering my door and shot me goddamnit" swearing was a new thing to Teddy, he only started doing it three years prior but it didn't sound cute and contrived this time. I ran to his side he pulled his hand off of his chest "look! Jesus Christ man!" he whimpered, he was fighting tears, "I can't die I'm not even real sensei." "Calm down" I told him "we need to get you to the hospital!" It became all too real when I saw the blood all over his arms and hands, he slumped to his knees his bright blue eyes seemed to fade, "I can't do it man…" said Teddy weakly "I can't move." "I'll call the paramedic…" I dialed my phone in a hurried fashion, Teddy laid down on the floor his stoned girlfriend couldn't ascertain that her carpet was now collecting the blood of her lover, in her state she couldn't even deem what was real or not so she just shut her mouth and decided to ride out her bad trip closing her eyes and quietly singing some French song in an atrocious accent… "Christ man" Teddy whimpered quietly. "… Yes hurry, for God's sake I don't know what I'd do without him" I pleaded into the phone. Teddy looked at me, "They got me… They got me good sensei" "Shut up Ted, you'll do just fine…" I could tell he was scared, I knelt beside him and like a freak scene pieta I held him up and gazed at his face, "Ted, you can't die." He nodded "What does it matter? You can't top saving the world anyway can you?" I glared at him "we don't talk about that anymore Teddy, even now that's unacceptable and you fucking know it!" I quickly apologized for my angry outburst. "Ha, remember when you told me about… About how you gain strength from those whose bonds you form… s-sensei?" I smiled at him, "If you leave, I'll become so much weaker now, all I have is Chie…" Teddy smiled, that was all, he was DOA for the paramedics, I suppose their ambulance had raced to his loft in vain after all.
Like I told Teddy, I felt weaker after his life passed, as if my strength bled right out of me. I couldn't weep I couldn't cry out they wrapped him up in sheets and took him away, I stared at the blood stains and glanced at his girlfriend, I left. His body disappeared, they couldn't explain it… No remains to bury, me and Chie in lieu of a funeral just talked about things we promised we would never speak of again… just once we spoke of that one year that changed everything, it woke me up…
"I want to go back." I told her that evening. "Back to the TV world? Are you crazy? You'll end up dead, I won't allow it Craig." She told me. I looked away "who knows if we can still do it anyway…" Chie put her hand on mine and smiled she looked 17 again, it really hadn't been all that long ago back then, it seemed like an eternity, we were kids desperately trying to act like kids back then… It was stifling to say the least. "You know this will be the last time we talk about the past, well that past at least." I told my dear Chie-chan. Chie smiled and nodded, I kissed her forehead, we were too tired and grief stricken to be any more passionate than that. "I'm glad I married you, I'm glad you put up with my broke ass…" Chie frowned at that "Hush about that. I am just fine with teaching English, it's the least any of us could do… Yosuke…" I didn't want to talk about him, he couldn't hack normal life and the way he so easily ended his life left me slightly jealous deep down I was angry that he wasn't able to be there for us like Teddy and (for awhile) the others. As for the others, they went their ways… Naoto disappeared, I heard fantastic rumors but nothing more, Yukiko is in the states with some rich A-hole and Kanji stuck around for awhile, we used to sometimes talk but never of the past and since me and Chie left Inaba we hardly ever talk at all. That's it really. I promised Chie that day that I wouldn't go back into the TV but that ache for past glory never left me and I just couldn't keep it. It didn't take too long for her to find out and she wasn't as angry as I thought she'd be, I'd been going back for five years now and recently I've discovered things that I could no longer keep secret from her.
So here I sit, it's close to 7 pm and I swear I hear her car but I again assumed it was a neighbor or someone passing by. I was mistaken, I heard keys jangle and locks come loose and she entered the house half tired but even after all these years she smiles when she sees me, it's gotten better since I started exploring the TV world again, she understands the void it fills within me. "Hey there Farnsworth" (I couldn't stand that nickname, it was so corny) "how's the world of TV today?" I shrugged "I didn't go in today…" Chie was cute, "I want to buy a some new shoes dear, you should scrounge up some extra money…" "I always thought it was absurd how shadows carry money, I fought American shadows the other day…" I just fucked up. "What the hell are you talking about?" Chie asked me. "Sit down." I told her.
"Chie-chan, my dear…" I spoke "I have to confess, I've been keeping a secret from you these past few months"
"If it has anything to do with the TV" she said "I don't want to know. God's sake maybe you should give it up! I'm not kidding—"
"Hush now child" I spoke "Listen to me."
I threw down a newspaper on the table "You can read English, I want to know what this newspaper says.."
"New York Times… September 11th 2000 and…" Chie glared at me "where the hell did you get this Craig? What are you trying to pull?"
"I got it in New York about twenty one years ago."
"Don't bullshit me Craig… Ugh, I can't deal with this weird shit anymore!"
"I'm not lying, look at the paper, it's fresh and crisp, not a day old."
Chie and the rest of us had a knack for accepting weird things like that, though we hadn't practiced accepting strange things as of late it was an innate ability within all of us.
"Why that date? Craig, honestly that's kind of morbid" Chie told me "Really now."
"You don't even want me to explain—"
"I already figured it out, you learned how to travel back in time with your persona" Chie blushed and stammered a little bit, we hadn't talked about personas in a decade.
"Well yeah…" I told her "Do you want me to explain in more detail, you kinda killed the suspense."
"Of course and I want to know why you're so morbid, is it cause of Teddy—Shit I'm sorry." Chie looked sad for a bit.
"Well lately I've been experimenting with different fusions and such… I never really explained fusions to you guys but you get the basic idea right?" Chie nodded at what would be to anyone else complete nonsense "I've gained much experience and insight into this, I've been training and fighting and no shadow or anything like that can stand in my way when I'm in the TV these days… Anyways, I felt a strange new power surging through me; I was awoken to a powerful new persona. I can't mention who it is it's far too sacred and I only speak of this to you and only you, I fear I am breaking his trust just discussing this, but I can't keep it secret.
As I was saying, this new power surged through me. He told me 'focus your mind and think of a date and location, you will be there'. Since I had just read the newspaper that morning the first thing that came into my mind was September 11th 2001, New York City…"
"The newspapers spoke of that about ten months ago Craig, you shouldn't have waited this long really…" Chie said "I can't even believe that this seems sane or normal but of course I believe you dear, you shouldn't have been so afraid"
"I didn't know if I was crazy or not, it was for sure the wrong day for my first time, the chaos everyone yelling and being hysterical in a language I couldn't understand I immediately jumped back into the nearest TV and desperately by the seat of my ass was able to return home…" I told her "I was hardly a child when it happened and it was so far away…" I stared off for awhile, compared with subsequent disasters, wars and terrorist attacks it seemed like such a drop in the ocean so I wasn't even prepared for that kind of hysteria.
"Anyways" I continued, "I was afraid of also alienating my new persona. He has told me many things and has imparted a sort of wisdom upon me that told me it wouldn't be prudent to make another human being aware of my new power, even my wife… I continued to travel throughout the world and at different times, as long as there was a TV set in that era I was able to climb through it… I should tell you TV's before the 1980s are hell climbing through" I laughed despite myself, Chie was unmoved something was disturbing her.
"Craig" she looked at me "Who is this persona you speak of?"
"I can't tell a soul, I made a solemn oath with him, I'm sure it's a mistake speaking of this and I hope he will forgive me…"
"Are you telling me you are using the powers of God for your own means?" she stared at me "Don't lie to me, this cannot continue Craig, you can't intervene with divine—"
"Stop it Chie" I told her "don't jump to conclusions. It isn't that cut and dry, I'm not as stupid as I act, you know that. He has imparted necessary wisdom… He trusts me with this power, it's a gift for saving mankind, though I doubt we really saved them from anything more than death…"
"I think that's good enough." Chie said "I don't want to talk about this anymore, ever again. It scares me Craig."
My lover began to cry, I got up from my seat and stood next to her I put my arms around her shoulders and felt the heave with each sob, I made a mistake… I sinned. Chie doesn't even believe in God and who is she or I to know that this persona is even Celestial, there were certainly no qualms in borrowing the power of angels in past days, but then again it was for the better of mankind… I was selfish; I have no place in the past.
"I will never do it again Chie, if it upsets you so" I promised her. A familiar misery filled me and I lead Chie to the bedroom, she was upset and tired. "I'm going to take a shower dear" she said through her tears "do you want to…" I shook my head "I need to think, I'm just going to lie down and wait for you. Maybe we were the wrong people to save the world, maybe if we were more mature more grown up at the time…" I shut up, it would be absurd for any other group of people to undergo such an undertaking. I shut my eyes I didn't even want to watch her undress, I felt virginal again, it felt sinful to even lay eyes upon my own wife in her nakedness. I noticed that as our bodies got softer throughout the years it became more endearing as if our bodies were familiar landscapes that we watched change throughout the season, never knowing that it wasn't quite as fantastic as our fruitful days when the sun was brightest and the night skies seemed to drift off into infinity past our known galaxy… I felt so sad.
Chie was now next to me in her night gown, she was reading or going through a lesson plan that night like she usually did, though with a detached sort of sadness tonight. I'm sure she was thinking about yesterdays as I was, like that night I came back to Inaba after finishing school, it seemed like nothing had changed it was a past that I longed for so long. They were all there, my cousin, uncle and friends with smiles so wide… That night me and Chie snuck out and made our way to the old market street with it's closed shops and it's dilapidated shrine, we sat under a cherry blossom and talked about the past year even though we already knew all the details, we had already spoken of them through internet conversations and phone calls. I didn't tell her I loved her until that night and she kissed me so hard and I held her so tight, the thought of this brought tears to my eyes and Chie brought me back to reality…
"What's wrong Craig?" Chie asked me, she put down some news magazine that was written in English, "Why are you crying?" I could see tears well up in her eyes as well.
"I was just thinking about that night under the cherry blossom, it sounds so cliché when I say that doesn't it? I wanted to visit the past with you Chie. I wanted to watch us fall in love from a distance."
Chie smiled, I know she thought it was absurd. "Oh Craig, isn't it good enough just to remember? I'm sorry for getting scared, I just wish we were like normal people sometimes. Me teaching school every day and you working at a factory maybe or just keeping the house clean. Maybe we should adopt a child… I'm sorry—"
"I told you then and I'll tell you again, never apologize for that. It isn't your fault that we can't have a child, I don't want to adopt. I'm just fine with you and me."
"Good cause that's all I want."
"Tomorrow I'll go in the TV for one last time, I'll tell God, Jesus, whoever the hell that persona is that I want no more, I've done enough for the world… I already know he is angry with me, but he is a loving person, he understands… He told me so much."
"Good. I can't believe we're involved in this craziness."
"I was thinking we could talk about things again tomorrow, about love and the days past and about Teddy. I sometimes spend the entire day thinking about him and sometimes I talk to him… Sometimes crazy as it might sound it seems as if we have conversations in my imagination and it seems so real…"

Chie smiled and nodded. I knew things would be okay, that day's misery was removed from me and I felt free. Sometimes I just think about life, how it could have been different and how the fates could have worked against me, working in a warehouse for the rest of my life being hated by all around me and feeling sick all of the time… At least that's the hell I imagined for myself. I don't feel sick, I don't feel sad. I am filled with light and love and my hands have no blood on them. My love has no end.