Theme: Salmonella and Tomatoes don't mix.

Pairing: Implied Sasuke x Sakura.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.


When Life Lacks Supplies...:

When Sasuke enters his home he begins his usual routine. Thus routine consisted of the removal of his shoes –Sakura did not approve of dirt- first and foremost. He always removed his Anbu vest and rested it neatly on the small table by the door, knowing that she would pass by and pick it up as a habit.

He'd greet his children, as a personal enjoyment, and ask about their day. His wife would usually walk by and give him a quick kiss because Haru had dirtied something -it was his favorite hobby- and run off quickly.

After his social responsibilities were done with, he'd walk to the refrigerator and get his favorite snack. Tomatoes were a staple of his life. After getting his tomatoes, he'd walk outside and watch his children train.

That's exactly where he should be right now. Except, certain points of his routine have been interrupted. Firstly, his wife was not home. Neither was Haru. This meant they were together. His other 3 children were all home.

Writing off his mental checklist…he'd already greeted the eldest children…he'd done everything previous to that. Everything ahead of it however, was tampered with.

-where were his tomatoes?- Sakura had mentioned she was going to re-stock today. Early in the morning. It was way past that.

He can't function without his tomatoes. "Aria." His eldest always knew where they were.

While he waited for her arrival he thought of possibilities. Could his wife be on a meeting? No…she would have never taken Haru. Naruto did often ask her to bring him along, though…

The dobe never did know when to stop stalking his god-children.

"Yes, dad?"

He looked at his daughter, "Where is your mother?"

She looked confused, "She said she was going to the market with Haru. Why?" Was that a smirk on her face?

"There aren't any tomatoes in the refrigerator." Yes, that was a smirk.

"Oh. Haven't you heard?" Heard what?

"Heard what?"

They both turned they're heads to the screen door as Sakura and the small toddler walked in. He ran to his father, gurgling some nonsense, and fell on his padded bottom in the process.

Sasuke looked at his wife, and the bags that she carried. He was disappointed. "Did you buy tomatoes?"

She look sheepish. "Haven't you heard, Sasuke?" What was this nonsense?

"No, I'm afraid I haven't heard of this mystery topic."

She smiled at him, "There's a salmonella outspread."

Who cares? "That affects our tomatoes supply, how?"

"Well, darling, that salmonella is in the tomato."

"What tomato?" He wasn't feeling to well about the direction of the conversation.

"Every tomato, Sasuke. I'm not buying you any tomatoes until they have it all cleared up." What? Why? Had she gone mad?

"Have you gone mad, woman?"

She gave him a face. The face. "No, man. I am in no way mad. I am the medic, mother, and cook of his household. No tomatoes."

Leaving a sulking Sasuke in the living room, he watched as she walked merrily off into the kitchen. There was just no way. Salmonella? In his precious tomatoes?

No, they'd never do that to him.

He'd find out who did this.

He was an avenger. A tomato avenger.


If you couldn't already tell, this is absolute crack. Bwahahaha, I don't honestly expect Sasuke to react like this. Only a little bit. Hehe. I wrote this because of the current salmonella outbreak in tomatoes in the U.S. I thought of Sasuke first and foremost. Next up: Sasuke and Sakura deal with intruders on their favorite training spot.

Until Next Time,

Darkofthenight.