intoxicated.
Tsuruya, with her respected family and hefty wallet, was a godsend to a relatively broke SOS Brigade. Kyon's family certainly wasn't the wealthiest on the block, while Mikuru and Yuki didn't have any family to begin with… and he wasn't about to ask for Haruhi's economic status, either. He supposed that Koizumi, with his shady Organization looming behind him like a menacing shadow, had the strings at his disposal to do whatever he wanted, but… Kyon didn't even want to know what means that boy would stoop to.
Like hell he had a private island on reserve!
When it was Tsuruya who invited them to one of her family's sprawling array of resorts, there was something natural about the whole ordeal. Something concrete and real, unlike Koizumi's plastic Organization.
Kyon hated to admit it, but vacations were pretty damn awesome when he was with the SOS Brigade. Well, as long as he ignored the murders and conflicting time planes and alternate dimensions.
But when Tsuruya had invited them to an onsen for the weekend, he had trouble magining what sort of trouble Haruhi could stir up while they were at such a relaxing place. Perhaps the idea of a hot spring after a long week of work was just so alluring, his normally pessimistic mindset finally shut up for two seconds.
"Welcome to the Tsuruya Family Onsen!" the wealthy girl cried as she spun and gestured to the great space around them. A radiant smile danced upon her lips, showing off her fang-like teeth that pierced her bottom lip. "It's nothing megassa awesome, but I think it's pretty sweet!"
Kyon still had no idea what that word meant, but he was too overwhelmed to care. The onsen was built in traditional Japanese style, split up by gender. It had an earthy feel to it and was scattered with brownish rocks, probably plastic, completing the rustic look. It was like he had stumbled into a natural hot spring… except maintained and a hell of a lot prettier.
"Wow, it's amazing!" Haruhi exclaimed, rivaling Tsuruya's devilish smile with her own. She clapped her hands together in excitement, and her golden ribbons caught the air and bounced in her step. "Thank you so much for inviting us here! The SOS Brigade owes you one free counseling session!"
Counseling? Oh, like the missing boyfriend thing…?
"It's so pretty," Asahina gasped as she absorbed her surroundings. Her eyes sparkled with wonder in a ridiculously adorable fashion. Nagato, too, nodded her head in some sort of silent thanks or agreement.
"Aww, yeah! Hot spring, here we come!" That particular loud, obnoxious shriek of a voice could only belong to one person – the idiot loudmouth, Taniguchi himself. For some reason or another, Tsuruya had decided to invite the lame duo of Taniguchi and Kunikida to join them. Perhaps she needed more boys to attend, since the spring was split up by gender. Maybe she thought they were friends.
Kyon didn't care – all he knew was that he was goddamn annoyed.
Tsuruya threw her head back and chortled. "Relax for a second, Sir-Shout-a-Lot!" She tried to control her giggles, but she failed miserably. "I… pfft… prepared dinner for us first, and then we can bathe! Don't worry – the spring will clear out any cramps, I promise!" She clamped a hand to her mouth, still shaking from giggles. "C'mon, this way…!" She once again beckoned the group to follow her as she ran out of sight to what presumably resided a picnic area.
Kyon straggled behind, looking on at the group with tired eyes. He did notice, however, as he counted the people that jogged after her (don't run in a onsen, you idiots!), that there was one person missing.
Actually, that person was also trailing behind in a seemingly melancholic manner. It was out-of-character for a charmer such as he.
"You okay?" Kyon asked, tilting his head as the two walked side-by-side.
Itsuki Koizumi flinched, surprisingly taken aback by the sudden words. His collected disposition loosened for a split second, and his hazel eyes widened. "O-oh? What makes you say that?" His classic smile slipped firmly back into place. Even so, there was still a slight slouch in his back, and his hands fiddled with themselves as they rested in his pockets.
Kyon shrugged. "You seem out of it." His eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Are you angry that your dumb suggestion was overthrown by Tsuruya's?" Like the kiss-up that he was, Koizumi had volunteered to book an appointment at an onsen himself… only to be overshadowed by Tsuruya's ability to rent out an entire place in the middle of the mountains.
"It's a shame you think me so shallow!" Koizumi chuckled heartily, although the depression remained. "Ah, it's nothing of your concern. I'm sorry for troubling you. All is well, I assure you."
Kyon wasn't convinced, but… he honestly couldn't give two shits about Koizumi's inner turmoil. Now, if it was Mikuru with a crease in her brow, that would be an entirely different story, but… he and Koizumi were barely even friends.
…It even sounded weird to use that word in relevance to him… or anybody in the SOS Brigade, really.
"Whatever…."
Soon as the two entered the enclosed area the group had ventured off into, they were stopped in the midst of their stride.
"Hey, you two! Take a drink, nyoro! The blue ones – the green one's my special-vitamin-packed-ultra-mega-double-super-drink!" Tsuruya presented a silver platter that held three beverages – one emerald-colored like summer sunshine on leaves, and two placid blue ones that sparkled in the lamplight. They looked vaguely alcoholic as they shimmered in their delicate glasses, like something a professional bartender would conjure up for a modest amount of money.
He glanced around at the rest of the group – they were already sipping their own beverages and chatting blissfully. Kyon shrugged and muttered a thanks as he reached for one of the drinks. He took curious sip as he pulled it back towards him.
It certainly held a strong tang, and he really couldn't tell if he enjoyed it or not. He smacked his lips. "Huh, what is it?" he asked, peering at the contents. Koizumi took his own drink and sipped cheerfully.
"Heh. You'll megassa find out."
Kyon blinked. What did she say…? "What was that?"
Tsuruya giggled once again. "Aha, it's a lemon-lime thing! Kinda tart, but you know! Certainly wakes you up!" She elbowed him in the gut with a shifty smile. "Enjoy~!"
And with that, she set the platter down and sipped on her own vibrant concoction.
"Of course you're getting naked, silly! Our onsen has a strict 'no-fabric-allowed' rule! It's a bath, not a pool, duh! Sorry~!"
Tsuruya had looked way too happy when she told him the news.
If Kyon had one complaint about the Japanese culture, it would definitely be the fact that being naked in a pool with a bunch of other men was not only normal, but considered one-hundred-percent heterosexual and traditional.
It was weird.
Maybe it was the new generation taking its shape and leaving the ancient customs behind: he didn't care. All he knew was that it was creepy. He had brought swimming trunks, but… Tsuruya had practically ripped them when she wrestled them from his grasp.
Now he was naked, aside from the towel tied around his hips, and he really couldn't feel any more awkward. Taniguchi was fearless and had leapt into the onsen at first chance, as if it were a swimming pool rather than a respected hot spring. Kunikida seemed hesitant at first, but had eventually succumbed to Taniguchi's teasing. Koizumi, though, was lagging behind along with Kyon.
"You seem distressed," he commented, sidling up next to him with a sly look on his face. He too was wearing a towel around his waist, but—
"You're too close," Kyon growled. He slinked away from the other boy's warm touch and shot him a fierce glare. "And yeah, I am. It's not any of your business."
"Aww." Koizumi glanced off to the side. The voices of the girls, whose hot spring was separated by a large building in the center of the complex, could be heard faintly through the steamy night air. "You seemed so excited about going, though. Dare I ask what happened?"
"I don't know – maybe the fact that we would have to be naked was never brought up?"
Koizumi chuckled softly under his breath. "You know, philosophers would argue that this is because of western influence on Japanese society. Before the Meiji era, this would be regarded as a normal ordeal – a cleansing bath in place of—"
"Koizumi, I don't care."
"Ouch." He laughed again, only this time it echoed off of the smooth rocks that enclosed the area. "Very well. I'll be quiet then, if it would please you." The esper shrugged his shoulders and stepped away from Kyon, before undoing his own towel from his waist and tossing it off to the side. "I'm going to head in now."
He's bigger than me.
A slightly disappointed look crossed Kyon's features. That wasn't gay, right? People talked about that sort of thing all the time inside of the locker room at school. His eyes darted away and he coolly pretended like he hadn't seen anything.
"Whatever."
Koizumi hummed softly, although obvious amusement twinkled in his eyes. He turned towards the hot spring and, with delicate footing, stepped gently into the warm water. The muscles on his back, toned like a swimmer's, tensed and rippled as he sunk down into the bath. Steam caressed him, framing him with a heavenly glow. He was incredibly well-built – being an esper probably required him to be physically fit, Kyon guessed….
Stop staring, dude, that's really gay.
Taniguchi and Kunikida didn't bother giving him a second glance. Taniguchi wasn't overly fond of him in the first place ("I hate that guy, always stealing our thunder! He's not even that good-looking! We're better than him, I swear!"), while Kunikida seemed almost wary of him ("That smile of his is kind of creepy, you know?"). The latter, looking a bit flustered, was about to voice a hello, only to be dragged away by Taniguchi's loud and irksome conversation. Koizumi didn't seem to mind: the instant he was comfortable, he craned his head over his shoulder to give Kyon a welcoming grin.
"It's really nice," he said with a light musical tone to his voice. "I've actually never been to a traditional hot spring before. I wasn't sure what I was expecting."
Kyon's lips twitched in a faint scowl. He didn't care.
Oh god, he was going to be stuck in a hot spring next to a blathering Koizumi for thirty minutes. Even if he promised he would be quiet, he doubted that the kid could shut his mouth for more than five minutes at a time. The onsen was supposed to make him feel at peace with the world, not make him want to strangle the people sitting around him.
He supposed he could try to stick with Taniguchi and Kunikida. He ate lunch with them, after all….
"Aww, man! Why did this have to be a mixed bath? I thought we were gonna get to see Asahina and Tsuruya naked! We're all friends here, right? Maybe we can go peek or something!"
"I don't think that's a good idea…."
"Man, lighten up, Kunikida! We need to live a little while we're in the prime of our youth! We'll never get an opportunity like this again!"
Nope.
Listening to Koizumi ramble was better than engaging in conversation with those two morons. Kunikida he could handle, but the other one was going to be arrested for sexual assault sometime in the near future.
…He supposed he should've just stopped whining and gotten in already. Koizumi had faced forward and was content in sitting and humming to himself with that dumb smile on his face.
With a heavy weight on his shoulders, Kyon unwrapped the towel and set it down side-by-side with the other three. His brow was wrinkled, but he persevered – grumbling under his breath, he tested the water with his toes. It wasn't blazing like he had expected; the water was actually fairly pleasant, and the steam that billowed around him was more like a comforting blanket than an oven. He shrugged as he sunk down the rest of the way into the water and felt his way towards one of the underwater benches that the rest of the group was perched upon.
Taniguchi and Kunikida were sitting on the bench perpendicular to Kyon and Koizumi. They were near the corner, even though the spring was so extensive that Kyon doubted he could swim the length without stopping to rest. The duo waved to the boy getting in, but were a bit too preoccupied with their conversation to spare him a hello.
Rude.
Koizumi, on the other hand, returned to his normal, chipper self. "It's quite tranquil, isn't it?" he said, voice just above a whisper so only Kyon could hear him. He had gotten awfully close – so close that their knees were brushing. "It feels natural, even though it's obviously pumped water. The Tsuruya family knows how to make things convincing."
Kyon closed his eyes and turned his head away. "It's good, I guess."
"I'm amazed by it, actually. And how she has enough money on her to rent out the entire place for her friends… she's very impressive. A good ally, I'd wager – an interesting addition to the SOS Brigade. What do you think?"
"I think that we have enough weirdos already, and that poor girl has done nothing to deserve the cruel fate of being latched onto Haruhi for the rest of her school life."
Koizumi snickered, and for some reason, Kyon could feel that breath on his ear. Their shoulders were pressed up against one another, now, as well as their outer thighs.
"Don't breathe on me."
"My apologies." Their shoulders disconnected, and the steam immediately filled the warmth's place. "I suppose you'd like me to stop talking, yes?"
"Look at who's finally catching on."
Another chuckle escaped from his throat, but it was only that – a chuckle. He sealed his lips, although they were still awkwardly close. Kyon didn't bother saying anything, though; the warmth of the water concealed most of the feeling (plus the fact that he didn't want Koizumi quipping at him).
Taniguchi and Kunikida's boring and offensive conversation slowly decomposed into a meek drawl in the back of Kyon's mind. He could fall asleep if he wanted to, since the water was so warm and comforting and inviting… but there was still the prospect of turning into one giant prune there to keep him awake.
It had only been a few minutes before something began to churn in the pit of his stomach.
At first he thought he was imagining it, that it was the water playing tricks on his mind. It was so warm – yeah, it had to be some sort water flow screwing with him. But, as he adjusted himself, he realized that—
Oh god, no.
—The feeling in his stomach was, without a doubt, the sign of a growing erection.
It wasn't like he hadn't had such a public experience before. Teenage male hormones acted out all the time, and he had sported hard-on's during uncomfortable situations in the past. He could usually suffocate them, although he'd always be in a decent amount of pain when he arrived home.
But he'd never been aroused in the middle of a hot spring surrounded by three other naked guys. Nope, that part was new.
It was hormones – just hormones, yeah! It wasn't because he was aroused by anything happening, right? Maybe it was because of the water?
But, the more he thought about it, the more aware he was becoming of how close Koizumi was… of how the water prevented them from sticking to one another and instead, the leg pressed hard against his own was slick and triple the heat of the hot spring itself….
Kyon's eyes snapped open and shot a quick glance at the boy next to him. Koizumi's eyes had closed over time as well. His smile had drooped into a little, strained line and eyebrows were slightly creased. Kyon could only assume that he was deep in thought. And without his dumb smile sugaring up his face, he looked so different—so raw—so—
Damn attractive.
Oh god, that was really gay. Fuck, he needed to get out of there—his hormones were latching onto the nearest living thing and messing with his mind, making Koizumi seem like some sort of sex god from the high heavens.
He panned his gaze over to Taniguchi and Kunikida. Their conversation had derailed into some sort of debate, and they hadn't looked over at him yet. Good, he could make an escape.
He peeled away from Koizumi, who opened his eyes upon the movement. Kyon turned away quickly, the water splashing around his arms as he spun.
"Where are you going?" Koizumi asked. Was that a… disappointed tone in his voice? "It's only been a few minutes."
"Uh." Oh, fuck. "I'm gonna… go, uh, look around for a bit. The place is pretty big, after all." He stood up, and the watery blanket that had come up to his nipples before abandoned him in his time of need. "I'll be back."
Much to his chagrin, he heard slight splashing sounding from behind him. "I'll join you," Koizumi said. It wasn't a request – he flat out invited himself.
"I'll go by myself, thanks."
"I insist—"
"Just stay there!" The words were harsher than expected, and Kyon could feel the boy flinch. Even Taniguchi and Kunikida stopped their arguing.
"Dude, what's your problem?" Taniguchi sneered. "These things are supposed to be relaxing. Calm your tits."
Kyon stifled for a moment, but ignored the taunt. He waded forward grumpily, not looking behind him. He'd apologize later, although he didn't know what excuse he'd use.
Large, plastic boulders were dotted throughout the middle of the spring as well, with built-in benches so people could relax in the center. As soon as he was a decent distance away, he ducked behind the nearest rock and leaned against it, back flush against its hollow warmth.
The aroma and heat (oh god, the heat) of the steam was starting to make him dizzy. This was really, really bad. The way his sweat stuck to his forehead and clustered at the base of his neck until it rolled down into the spring… he could feel every movement, every single thing that was touching him.
Why was he so aroused? It almost felt… unnatural.
Had he been drugged? Yeah, right – the only thing he had consumed was made by Tsuruya, and he doubted she'd do anything like that….
…Actually, this was the girl who had spiked Mikuru's drink when they were making their lame movie. He wouldn't put it past her.
Kyon growled – a deep, low, rumbling sound – and pressed further back into the fake rock. He couldn't… not in Tsuruya's onsen! That would be disgusting!
But did he have a choice? It was either this or suffer extreme embarrassment by the hand of his peers. He might as well try, right?
He stood up so that his erection was peeking out of the water and gently prodded at it, testing his ground. His fingers were wrinkled and leathery, uncomfortable to the touch. He could make do, though – it was only slightly worse than in the shower. He took a hold of it in his hand, and began working with his palm, eager to just get rid of the fiery, intoxicating pain….
Taniguchi and Kunikida's muffled, far-off voices blurred into the background, along with the dribble of fake fountains. Everything seemed so distant and hot and burning like there was nothing but the steam, nothing but a world full of enticing fog and gingery smells and the splashing of water as someone grew closer and wait, no, what was that last one—?
"Oh, my. That's a problem, isn't it?"
Kyon jumped and was about to turn, hot air filling his lungs, when a hand clamped over his mouth. His eyes were wide and he might've just bitten the snob who had wandered his way over to him, but… the look on the other boy's face was more than enough to make him flinch.
Koizumi was standing over him with a dark, mesmerized look in his eyes. He must've dunked his head under the water at some point, as droplets collected at the ends of his hair and dripped so gracefully, so beautifully, into the bath below. His smile had vanished from his face, replaced by a disgruntled frown.
"Do you feel peculiar as well?" Koizumi asked stupidly, pulling his hand away from Kyon's lips. "Don't respond too loudly – they might hear you."
Kyon's eye twitched. "What kind of—what are you—what—go—I—"
"I felt it around the same time as you. Unnatural feeling, and yet not entirely unpleasant… unpleasant for the situation, I suppose, but still… it almost feels like drunkenness. Everything's hazy and confusing, and I wondered if you felt it too, so I followed you. Perhaps it's something in the water, but the other two don't seem to be affected." His eyes gleamed in the hazy, wired light. He leaned forward, close enough for their breaths to mingle. Koizumi's scent, too, Kyon found thrilling – the smell of toothpaste and plastic and mint….
He was getting dizzy again.
"I vote," Koizumi murmured huskily, "that we settle this and then never mention it again. It would be problematic if this were to complicate our relationship, but, you know… I couldn't honestly care right now."
An apathetic Koizumi was a bearable Koizumi.
Kyon really didn't know what he was doing. Koizumi was right – he felt light-headed and drunk and wonderful, although there was still that gnawing pain in his gut. That pain that needed to be fed and coaxed away and—
Oh, screw it.
He reached up, grabbed Koizumi's hair, and pulled him forward to silence both of their worries with a clumsy kiss. The two of them fell back into the man-made bench in a tumble of water, Koizumi nearly crushing the boy beneath him. Koizumi's lips tasted salty rather than sweet, like sticky sweat. Their tongues darted out to meet one another, and Kyon – Kyon was so lost that his common sense (what the hell are you doing, you horny pubescent moron?!) was swept off in muddled waves.
Koizumi pressed himself again the other impatiently, enveloping him. Their erections brushed underneath the water, sending shivers up and down Kyon's spine. But it didn't provide enough friction, and the need for the heat was growing unbearable.
"Fucking do something," Kyon hissed between his teeth as they broke another kiss.
"I'm working on it." Koizumi forced the other to remain sitting and straddled Kyon's hips with his thighs. He began to grind against him, hard and fast, not letting himself float under the water. In a stupor, he leaned in and attacked the left side of Kyon's neck, licking and sucking and nipping. He had a mole there, Kyon knew somewhere at the back of his mind. Koizumi seemed to have found it – his tongue trailed over the small bulb of flesh, lapping at it greedily. Kyon groaned and bucked his hips, while Koizumi rode him with his thighs tightly clenched.
"If you're too loud, they're going to hear you," Koizumi muttered into Kyon's neck. The water was coursing underneath them as they thrust into one another with splashes that were already too loud for Kyon's taste (you idiot – what if Taniguchi sees, what if Tsuruya sees, what if Haruhi sees?).
The smaller boy snarled once again. "Then—god damn it, hurry the fuck up. It's not—not underwater—there's not enough—"
"Stand up. Please." Koizumi's voice was rough, unlike anything Kyon had ever heard before. He released his grip on Kyon's thighs. "You're going to have to crouch a little, though."
Kyon did as he was told, although his legs were trembling. Koizumi followed his lead, albeit he looked uncomfortable, bent over at an awkward angle. He bit his lip in aggravation, muttering something under his breath.
"Hurry up—"
"I'me going. I'm trying my best, you know."
With slick fingers, Koizumi gripped the two of their lengths together in one hand. Kyon stared down at them, blinking dreamily – the warmth of Koizumi's dick against his own by itself made him want to keel over and give in. Koizumi started to pump, slowly at first, but increased the pace only when the two of them both realized how much he needed to hurry. His other hand dug into the rock, breaking and scraping his finely trimmed nails as he supported himself.
Kyon whined again (it sounded more like he was dying, though, with his baritone voice) and arched his hips into Koizumi's touch. The esper grumbled a small, unintelligible complaint.
"God damn it, Koizumi—" The name sounded so wrong on his tongue. He really shouldn't—they really shouldn't—Jesus, Taniguchi and Kunikida were right there—
But there was something thrilling about the thought of being discovered any second by either of the two idiots, or even Haruhi Suzumiya herself. He couldn't care(you should care, you sick bastard!). He was so high on this feeling – of Koizumi pumping and murmuring small, empty words and panting heavily into his neck as the steam cradled the two of them together – that nothing troubled him.
He tried the name out again. "K-Koizumi," he gasped, bucking again. "Koizumi, fucking, just—can't you—fuck—faster—damn it…."
Koizumi probably would've responded with something cleverer if he wasn't out of breath. Every time Kyon whispered his name, his breath hitched. Kyon wished he could've seen that face, pink and sweaty and mouth agape as he moaned quietly. This was him at his most vulnerable.
"—You talk too much," Koizumi rasped, stokes quickening like the beat of a heart.
"Fucking hypocrite…." It was difficult to breathe. Light brown hair stuck to his cheeks and lips and nose, filling all of his senses with raw Koizumi. His hands clawed at Itsuki's shoulders and back, leaving faint trails that they were going to have to explain later.
"And swear too much…."
Kyon gritted his teeth. Talking was going to kill the mood. "Just fucking—"
Koizumi's lips pressed against his again in a wet, sloppy kiss. They were both dizzy – too dizzy – and their lips awkwardly fumbled and missed time and time again. Their breath drowned one another out, filling each others' throats with warmth and moans and the both of their names. Everything was moist, damp, hot—Koizumi was on top of him, desperate and rutting and growling, suffocating him—tasting him—savoring, even—
"Fuck-ckk—"
Kyon groaned out a curse and arched his back for a final time as he sputtered into Koizumi's hand. Koizumi whined quietly into Kyon's lips as he, too, shook with his orgasm. His hand clutching the rock behind him scrabbled for a firm grip. The seed spurted onto their stomachs and into the water, creamy and thick, before it floated apart and away on the current.
The two of them collapsed onto the bench once again, Koizumi still on top of Kyon. Everything was spinning a thousand miles a minute – but, in that moment, there was nothing else out there besides the two of them in each other's arms, chests pressed against one another's.
Kyon blinked hazily as his dull senses started to return to him. He felt relieved; the pain that had welled in his gut was satisfied for the time being. Koizumi, too, seemed content as he sighed. He had found his way back to Kyon's neck, and he nuzzled gently into the sensitive skin.
Nothing could ruin that moment.
…Except for logic itself.
Itsuki Koizumi, esper boy extraordinaire, had just jacked him off.
In Tsuruya's hot spring.
While Taniguchi and Kunikida mulled over stupid conversations in the background.
He felt a part of himself start to die.
Somewhere behind the bordering rocks of the onsen, two covert perverts and their minions had watched the entire scene unfold.
"Nyahaha~ I told you there'd be a show, nyoro! I whipped up the best drug I could, and I think it worked pretty well! Didya get all of it?" Tsuruya's voice bounced off the rocks, but she highly doubted that the afterglow duo could hear her.
Haruhi Suzumiya, gripping a video camera in her hand, smiled wickedly. "Yup! Blackmail achieved!" She clutched the device possessively to her chest. "That was perfect, Tsuruya! Man, you weren't kidding – that was much better than crappy BL manga!"
"Told you!"
Mikuru, however, had been shivering behind a rock the entire time with her hands clamped over her ears. "I-it's so embarrassing… awuwu…." She hadn't been made aware of the actual plan until the last second. Her innocent, virgin eyes had not been prepared.
Yuki, on the other hand, wore a tired look on her face that asked herself and everyone around her, "Why is this my life?" among various other universe-bending.
"Taniguchi and Kunikida's should be kicking in soon," Tsuruya said, rubbing her hands together mischievously. "Kyon and Koizumi will probably just sit there for a while. C'mon, let's go!"
"All right! Come on, Mikuru – you have to watch this one!"
"N-no!"
"Aww, c'mon! It's not like you like them or anything, so it's less emotionally scarring!"
"Awuu…."
Yuki also felt a bit of her alien soul start to die.
