"So, I think that right here we need a big musical number, preferably something extraordinarily obnoxious that won't get out of people's heads for months after they see the show, but we'll have to ask Roger about that… if anyone would know about obnoxious music, it's him."
Leo Bloom, seated on a wooden park bench next to his new best friend and business partner, nodded in agreement with Max's statement. "Maybe a reprise of 'Springtime for Hitler,' only in German," he suggested timidly. When Max didn't respond, he hurried to back up his idea, "German is good because then none of the audience will understand it, and they'll hate the song even more then if they don't know what the words mean. Right?" He ventured Max a small smile.
His partner gaped at him for a fraction of a second, but suddenly Max's eyes brightened and a huge grin burst across his face. Leo's shy smile grew slightly in response. "Leo, that's genius," Max said appreciatively, clapping a large hand to his friend's tiny shoulder. "You shouldn't be so nervous all the time to tell me ideas! Not when they could mean the difference between a flop or a hit!"
Leo chuckled slightly along with Max's booming laugh, pleased that his suggestion had gone over well. Of course, no one could have guessed that what the two men were rooting for was the flop. Just then, however, as Leo was about to add an even more daring number to their repertoire—Adolf in a long evening gown to sing 'Frühling für Hitler'? But then again, would a hot pink ballet tutu be more suiting?—his stomach went against him with a loud, rumbling gurgle that resounded around the park.
Leo's face flushed with color at once. "M-Max, I—"
"Eh, it's around lunchtime, isn't it?" Max mused, glancing down at the cheap watch on his wrist and pulling himself up from the seat. "I'll go get us some hot dogs or something—there's a guy selling them over there for only 75 cents." He looked back at Leo with a mischievous little smile. "Wanna come with?"
Leo's heart thumped painfully in his chest. God, he loved that smile. If he wasn't a part of this scheme for the money or the title or just to get out of the hell he used to work in, it was to see Max's face light up at the littlest things and make Leo's heart do a trapeze routine. "N-no, Max, I think I'll just wait for you here," Leo ventured, his voice small.
Max nodded pleasantly. It was still strange for Leo, even after a few weeks of working with Max, to have options: to be able to say "no, thank you" and be told that it's all right. "Okay. I'll be back in a minute or so. And oh"—a little glint appeared in Max's eye, another thing Leo loved seeing more than he cared about his own life—"when I get back you're repaying me for that hot dog, Leo. I'm not made of money anymore, remember."
Leo smiled. "Okay."
As Max headed off towards the other side of the park, Leo's racing heart slowed slightly, but his troubled thoughts could not. Why do I love Max's smile so much? Sure, I love making people happy in general, but… Max… he's different, somehow, the way I feel about him. But I can't possibly ask him if he feels the same way… Leo sighed and shook his head. WHY can't I ask him?! I need to get over this! I'm such a coward, and it's incredibly stupid! I don't work in that accounting firm anymore; no one's going to whip me if I'm a little more straightforward, but… it's so hard to change the way I've always lived…
As Leo mourned for the courage he had never had, he stood up abruptly and turned towards the hot dog stand. "I'm going right over there right now and I'm going to tell Max how I feel about him." Okay, focus, this isn't as scary as you think… breath in… breath out… Leo's hand automatically shot to the blue blanket in his coat breast pocket, but he forced himself to pull it down. Be strong, Leopold Bloom. You know you have it in you. You've just never given yourself a chance.
But then a woman rounded the corner and came into Leo's view, and suddenly everything changed.
At the hot dog stand, Max Bialystock was deep in a headed debate with the vender. Apparently, unbeknownst to Max, the vender had upped the prices of a hot dog from 75 cents to a dollar in the past few days. Max was complaining loudly that the hot dogs weren't even worth 75 cents in the first place and the vender would have to change the price back or Max would call the police on him, and the vender was shouting back that Max was the cheapest man he had ever met and 25 cents certainly couldn't make that much of a difference and Max was being an idiot. But just as Max was sure he had the argument in his pocket, he was distracted by an all-too-familiar scream.
"WAHHHHHHH! MAAAAAAAX!"
"LEO!" Ignoring the vender's smug look at his apparent forfeit, Max ran forward to comfort the hysterical accountant who flew into his arms like a lost boy to his mother. Leo buried his face in Max's shirt and bawled, Max trying to refrain from sighing. If it was anyone else, Max would have found this kind of behavior unbearably irritating, but something about Leo's childlike nature seemed sort of endearing. "What happened, Leo?" he asked urgently yet patiently, careful not to raise his voice for the fear of increasing Leo's hysterics even further.
Leo sniffled a few times before he was able to raise his head and speak. His little blue blanket was curled between his fingers and his left cheek, his eyes wide with terror. "A dog," he managed to gasp, his breath ragged and uneven despite the fact that he had calmed down a bit. "This woman was walking her dog and it was about to attack me! It was… it was awful!" With a moan at the terrifying memory, Leo rubbed his blanket even faster across the planes of his face, his eyes fixed tightly shut as they tried not to picture the frightening past. So much for being brave, Bloom, he told himself bitterly. Way to go.
Max, however, instead of calling him a wuss, seemed as horrified at this news as Leo had been, only he reacted with fury towards the dog as apposed to fear. "WHAT?!" Max let out something very close to a snarl. What kind of woman takes her dog to the park and lets it attack helpless accountants, especially Leo?! Didn't she know that Leo needed special treatment? In his mind, Max pictured an enormous pit bull twice the usual size, with razor-sharp fangs and a spiked collar pulled tight around its neck. What kind of woman lets that monster loose in public?!
Max took hold of Leo's hand and ignored the petrified stare he received from the smaller man. There was a kind of fire in Max's eyes that couldn't be extinguished now. Thinking back on the incident later, Leo admitted that the fire was his second-favorite thing about Max, after his smile. When Max wanted something done, he got it done. No one intimidated Max Bialystock's best friend and got away with it.
"Come on, Leo. Let's go give that woman a piece of our mind."
Leo let out a small whimper of fear at the idea. And go back to where the dog is? Never! But instead he bit his lip and forced himself to nod. You were going to be strong today, remember? You were going to be strong for Max… Max had helped him out so much in just a few short weeks. The least he could do would be to let Max help him. Leo slowly raised the hand Max wasn't holding to his cheek, where his fingers made contact with the precious blue fabric. Timidly but deliberately, Leo's hand found the blanket and shoved it back into his pocket where he could see it no longer. Strong.
The producers grinned at each other then, one determined and one terrified beyond compare, but both entirely sincere with one another. Max tugged very slightly on Leo's hand, and the two set off for the other side of the park.
As they rounded the corner and the woman's backside came into view, Leo couldn't suppress the shudder that rocked his body. She was a very large person, taking up more space than even Max, and was wearing a very ugly maroon-colored dress that clashed awfully with her navy blue bonnet. She was maybe around fifty years old, with obviously bleached blonde hair and an air about her suggesting she owned the entire park. The dog was in back of her, obscured by her mass so that it was invisible to the two men approaching. Leo moaned.
After but a moment of hesitation, Max Bialystock cleared his throat purposefully and spoke. "Excuse me, ma'am, may we have a word with you?" Leo liked how Max said "we." It wasn't forcing Leo to join in on the action, but it was an invitation to speak his mind if he found the courage to say anything.
The huge woman twirled around with more grace than should have been possible for someone of her size. Her beady eyes narrowed as she took in Leo's features, and he shivered involuntarily at her recognition. "Yes?" the woman demanded haughtily, the word translating as "Why the hell are you wasting my time?" on Leo's ears. The dog was still hidden behind her, an unknown factor to Max. That didn't stop him in the least, however. He had a mission to carry out here.
"My friend Mr. Bloom here claims your dog has been terrorizing him and you've done nothing to stop it," Max replied just as snootily, glaring at the woman with the fire Leo loved.
The woman snarled. "And what do you propose I do for this Mr. Bloom?" she spat, sarcasm dripping from the false politeness she held for Leo's name.
"I think you should apologize to Mr. Bloom and promise me that this will never happen again," Max retorted with a smile. On Max's lips, Leo's name was filled with affection as apposed to scorn. Leo's shudders grew weaker as he realized that he was in good hands. Max made him feel safe, somehow, as if as long as he was with Max he could never be harmed by any outside force. Why would Leo ever need a little blue square of fabric when he had his own living security blanket by his side?
"Oh, now, is this really necessary?" the woman huffed, her eyes rolling in distaste. "I'm sure your Mr. Bloom is exaggerating. Princess here has never hurt a soul."
Leo held his breath. Max stared at the woman as if she was insane. Though their reactions were different, both men were thinking the same bewildered thought: Princess?
Upon hearing her name spoken aloud, Princess decided that this would be the perfect moment to introduce herself to Mr. Bloom and his loud friend. Completely unaware of the conflict at hand, she marched into the space between her owner and Max with the confidence that people would be cooing over her good looks in less than thirty seconds. The only thing she acquired upon coming into view, however, was pure terror from Leo's end and pure shock from Max's. This was the dog that had terrorizing Leo?!
Princess was a poodle, tiny even for her breed, with bright white fur that stuck out from different parts of her body in soft, curly tufts. Around her neck was a magenta-colored collar with sequins spaced an inch apart, and on her mouth was a dainty doggy smile. As her owner had claimed, Max doubted that Princess could ever have hurt a soul if she'd wanted to. How tall was she? Ten inches? Eight? She didn't even have claws. Where was the pit bull with fangs, ready to jab themselves into Leo's neck at any moment it could?!
Max drew in a short, sharp breath. Oh. The woman gazed at him arrogantly, her eyes clearly screaming, "I told you so!" He had only two choices now: keep going and look like an idiot, or move on and let Leo down. Neither one seemed advantageous.
But to Max's surprise, Leo's reaction made his decision for him. "H-h-hello, Princess." Leo stumbled over the words, stuttering on the easiest syllables, but his voice was clear and firm. Max's eyes widened in shock as Leo bent down to just above the poodle's height and ventured it his tiny, lovable smile. "Y-you're very c-cute, you know that?"
Princess beamed proudly and let out a little yip of approval. Both her owner and Max stared as if she had suddenly grown an extra limb. Leo timidly reached out a hand and slowly brought it down onto Princess's head, rubbing it back and forth across her fur affectionately. The woman sighed, sure that Max was the biggest liar she had ever met—Mr. Bloom appeared to love dogs. Max, however, could see the trembling that rocked Leo's body and the subtle fear that hid in his eyes. But Leo had overcome all this and tried to be brave. Bless his little accountant heart!
"We should be going now," Max barked, startling Leo and the woman alike and making them both jump slightly. Only Princess remained perfectly calm, gazing up at the big man with huge, wistful eyes.
"Y-yes, we probably should," Leo agreed, swallowing when a lump rose in his throat as he suddenly realized what he was doing. I'm petting that horrifying dog. I'm PETTING it! What the hell am I doing?! He stood up slowly but surely and though he couldn't bring himself to grin at the glaring woman, he at least made eye contact with her when he said, "Thank you, ma'am, Princess."
Princess beamed. The woman looked at him curiously, her eyes full of suspicion, but in the end she dismissed it and shrugged her large shoulders in response. "You're welcome… Mr. Bloom."
Leo almost smiled, but his small amount of pleasure was swallowed up by the enormous amount of fear. Max grabbed his hand roughly, knowing all-too-well the limits of his friend's courage. Now that Leo had proven himself in front of Princess's owner, the last thing Max wanted was for Leo to make himself look like a sissy all over again. "C'mon," he told Leo as gruffly as he could manage.
However, when the two were safely across the park and out of sight for the old, grumpy woman, Max pulled Leo into a spine-crushing, breathtaking hug. "M-Max!" Leo gasped, his face growing steadily red—whether from lack of air or embarrassment, he had no idea.
"Leo, Leo, Leo!" Max chanted in response, gleefully ignorant of the fact that his partner couldn't breath. "I'm so proud of you! You finally overcame one of your stupid fears!"
Leo managed to gasp a strained reply, after which Max guiltily let go of their embrace, rather red in the face himself now. He coughed into his hand and pointedly avoided Leo's gaze. "Anyway, Leo, you did a great thing today. What you did is the first step in learning to have a spine." Max's voice was curt and very formal, but Leo could see the warmth that burned inside of him, just waiting for someone to find it and let it free. Suddenly Leo was reminded of his ultimate mission, the thing he'd wanted so badly to say just minutes before…
"M-M-Max," Leo began, his voice hesitant and fearful. Max looked at him curiously. What could be frightening Leo now? "There's s-something I… w-wanted to tell you."
"Yeah?" Max asked blankly, his features slightly perplexed. "What's on your mind, Leo?"
Leo's face flushed red and he muttered something unintelligible. Maybe one courageous act a day is enough. Maybe I don't need to go all the way right now. When he was able to regain his composure, he looked up at Max with his tiny little smile. "Thank you," whispered Leo, changing direction at the last minute, but still one hundred percent truthful in his words.
Max grinned. "You're welcome, Mr. Bloom. Now, c'mon," he went on, suddenly businesslike once more, "I'm half starved to death here. Let's go see if we can't get that hot dog vendor to lower his prices." He chuckled to himself as he caught Leo's eye. "You already had luck with one dog today. Who knows, maybe you'll be lucky with another kind!"
Leo laughed genuinely. No matter what harm he faced or what horror he ran into, he could always count on the joy brought by his best friend's beaming smile. "Okay, Max. Let's go."
