The April edition of the year of shorts and starters. I apologize about March... it just didn't turn out at all, no one liked it. So it's back in the archives to rot and fester. So we look onward to happier subjects and joyful times.
Thanks to Milner and BK2U for editing and assistance.
She nervously pinched her lip between her teeth, but to him, she looked sultry and coy. Her posture on the bed purposely pushed her shoulders back and her breasts forward to display her modest offerings in a more enticing way – it was her college roommate's suggestion.
Tobias didn't need her tricks; he saw her, all of her. He'd estimated her dimensions on their first date, and had been recalculating and verifying bit by bit; by their third date, he knew exactly what Tris was hiding under carefully selected outfits, and he didn't mind.
Had the cards fallen right, he wouldn't have waited so long. But circumstance and miscommunication had him breaking his three-date rule. Where other girls would have been ghosted, something in her smile bought her an extension; butterflies he thought long banished were threatening his solid game.
Tris could not be left disappointed. She knew too much, yet was still there. He cared too much, but he didn't run. And that scared him almost into flight.
He knew he needed her to drop her act and relax, or his own anxiety might boil over. Rather than pounce and accelerate, he caressed, kissed, and plied each knot in her shoulder with nimble fingers. He didn't want fast, just thorough. He was done with shallow and instead was sinking towards the unexplored depths in a territory he dare not name.
Tris questioned herself harshly, and in light of all the negatives she'd been told in the past, she wondered if Tobias was slow to move because she was small-chested. Or because her makeup hid a scar on her neck, but only when looking from a distance. Maybe she was too eager, and he assumed she was the sum of her past partners. Maybe his hands crawled and clenched over her body feeling for a different defect, a new reason to disregard her in the morning. But for the moment, regardless of his motives, she decided to enjoy the slow, methodical massage complemented by deep kisses. Even if he never called her again, she could always think back to the moments that she almost confused with love.
At least she didn't have to worry about something going horribly wrong, again. The purpose he put into every touch was thoughtful and patient. A tickled flinch led to a pause. A small cough and he propped himself up on his elbows and held a sideways smirk until she was ready to resume. He knew how to make a woman relax, how to make her feel safe. She wondered if he spent so much time with the others that came before her, while unable to know that he had not.
Nothing about her matched his past. He wanted her into the morning. He wanted her into the next week. Tobias wanted her forever to be with him and only him. He wanted to convince her he was genuine and sincere, and that the first push between her legs was a memory he would savor forever. That he was done with firsts.
They matched so well. He liked shallow thrusts and Tris preferred to feel with her fingers. He lost his senses at the vibration on his collarbone and the nip of her teeth. And she enjoyed the taste of his skin and the weight of his frame. For all the time he'd spent preparing her, he'd also worked himself into a fast performance. He edged with start stop motions, and nearly tipped at the touch of her fingertips between them. He was already apologizing when she squeezed and moaned and pushed him over with her.
Thirty minutes of ardent lust and he wished to never taste another's lips.
She is perfection in his eyes, but she is also human and perfection isn't a reality. She waits nervously, often missing out on the little moments, for that first instance when she disappoints him. Two weeks and six dates slipped into three weeks, one month, a couple dozen dates and plenty of firsts. All without a single incident.
As they cycled through her firsts, she swore that their first disagreement was going to be the end. But on principle, she couldn't let his passing acceptance of Blazing Saddles go by without a conversation on racial equity and Hollywood's perpetuation of stereotypes. Doing anything less made her feel a fraud working for the ACLU. Strong opinions had ended many prior dates early, and she braced herself for the backlash as soon as the last word flipped off her tongue.
Tobias chuckled. Tris eased the wince off her face. He pushed his arm around her shoulder and placed the bowl of popcorn on her lap. He pushed play and earnestly implored her to participate in enjoying his movie selection.
"Think of this as a documentary that eventually you can look at and realize how far things have come. Maybe it's not there yet, but it's damned funny if you just let yourself relax."
And that was the end of their first disagreement: a movie she hated laughing at, and a cuddle on the couch. All the other firsts had been just as pleasant, if not more. The first time she met his friends: a mid-day fishing expedition on Lake Michigan where Zeke's brother, Uriah, was so hung over he dropped his cell phone in the cooler. Then she reciprocated and had Will and Christina over for dinner. She wasn't quite prepared for the embarrassing stories, but after hours of redness, Christina was satisfied that Tobias made Tris happy. They went away for a weekend together and hiked up trails Tobias seemed to know like the back of his hand.
Tris suggested another first after hours of Google searches and forum reading. She tried to broach the subject casually. "You know, I was talking with my parents yesterday. They are getting pretty curious."
"You talk to them about me?"
"You come up," Tris shrugged.
"What do you say?" He put on the evaluative face that made him hard to read.
"I mean, we've done a lot of things together, so mainly just that. My mom's shocked that I went to a Cubs game."
"Oh?"
"She's a huge fan, too."
"As she should be. As you will be." He finally broke and smiled warmly.
She cleared her throat and fished for a little information. "What do you tell your folks about me?"
"About the same, I guess."
He had carefully divided his family and Tris. She worried about all the ways she could fail to meet their expectations. Tobias's many successes, his determination, his service, his long list of accomplishments all set a standard she knew she couldn't meet.
"Anyways, they have this crazy idea… they wanted to —maybe, but it's you know, up to you— maybe have us over for dinner?"
Tobias huffed and stood up. He took a couple deep breaths on his way to the sink and started the water.
Tris wanted her words back. She wiped her hands on her pants and followed him. "Like I said, it's probably too soon. We've only been together, what? Two months?" Tris started to backtrack.
"Three," Tobias corrected. He stopped the water and dried his hands. He turned around and leaned against the counter, his arms crossed.
"Still, a blink-of-the-eye in relationship standards. It's no big deal."
"No, three months is significant. It's the longest relationship I've ever had. I guess I'm just a little weirded out by the idea of meeting your parents. I've never met a girl's parents before."
Tris brightened. "Wow, finally, I can be one of your firsts after all."
"Oh, believe me, you're a couple different firsts for me." He blushed and got nervous. He'd wanted to say it after just three weeks, but she didn't seem ready to hear it.
"First Democrat is hardly a measurable mark." She always had an oblivious and playful response. Even if she dared to hope for something more, she'd never let herself believe it was happening to her.
Tobias pulled her into a hug and kissed her forehead. "First Democrat is way bigger than you realize. But I was thinking more like… first love." Tris stopped breathing and waited for a punch line that often came with his dry humor. "Tris, I love you."
His eyes flicked around her face and saw exactly what he expected: skepticism. If he could find every man that ever treated her as disposable, he'd plead guilty at his murder trial. She'd been lied to, used, her hopes pulled up and dashed so many times that she doubted even the most basic foundation in their relationship. They loved each other. To him, it didn't matter that she didn't say it back, but to her it did.
She pulled away from him and asked him to reject her. "That's… that's way more than meeting parents. I mean, what if I'm not your type after all? Once you meet my family—"
"You are my type. I don't have any other type than you. And it doesn't matter to me what your parents are like, or if I get along with them. As long as I get along with you, I'm set." Tris worried her lip. He stepped in and hugged her again. "I know this is a big deal. It's big for me, too, so it's okay if you need to take your own time to get there. I'm not going anywhere until you're the one kicking me out on my ass."
"Heh, like that'll ever happen." She rested her head against his chest.
"Then I'll move in next week." Tris flinched a little and raised an eyebrow. "You're right. You got a roommate. I guess I just have to wait until you wanna move in with me." He smiled and pushed on her arms until she was laughing with him. And then he kissed her with a little more energy than a usual Thursday night dinner in.
"There is something about him. I just can't put my finger on it." Andrew willed the connection out of his head with his fingers on his temple like a conjurer over a crystal ball.
"You can't hate him after a thirty second introduction," Natalie scolded, selecting Tris's favorite red wine from the three bottles in the refrigerator.
"I don't hate him. I swear I know him from somewhere. He is so familiar, don't you think?"
Natalie rolled her eyes and shimmied past him towards the sitting room. Andrew started to follow; she gave him a sharp reminder: "Bring the glasses, Andrew. We're not playing pass the bottle. And try to behave."
Tris pulled Tobias along the wall of family photos in the hall.
"You can't hide brace-face Beatrice Prior from me forever," he teased.
If he really wanted to, he could hold his ground and take in the embarrassing progression from infant to adult at his own pace. Her small frame didn't have a chance against his years of training. But if she asked him to wear a pink dress to dinner with her parents, he'd at least consider it. He's considered a lot of things since meeting Tris. He saved her further embarrassment and moved on to meet her parents in the sitting room.
Andrew squinted and studied him as soon as he entered the room. Aware of the attention, Tobias made a swipe at his face and then his shirt to make sure he was tidy. Andrew didn't change his focus and decided to guide the conversation. "So, Tobias, Beatrice has been pretty tight-lipped about the details. So, what do you do, exactly?"
Tris exchanged a glance with her mother. Natalie shrugged and smirked a little. The parental inquisition constituted a rite of passage that amused her mother.
"I suppose she was trying to save me some embarrassment and you some disappointment. I'm actually a student. I do work-study in the library."
"Oh." Andrew's face didn't yield any insight into his opinion.
But Tobias addressed the tone. "I'm sure that's a much more... humble situation than you'd wish for your daughter to get involved in."
"Nonsense!" Natalie interjected before Andrew could respond. "I was the breadwinner while Andrew finished his MBA. College is difficult all on its own, let alone trying to hold down a full time job. As long as you're getting good grades and staying fed — that's what a mother always cares about."
"Yes, yes," Andrew agreed, but didn't look as pleased as his wife sounded. "So what are you studying then?"
"Computer Science with a concentration in security protocols and encryption."
"A Masters?" Andrew was unrelenting.
"No, sir. I… I just started college a couple years ago."
"How old are you?"
"Dad!" Tris exclaimed with Natalie's "Andrew!" right on top of her.
Natalie gave him a stern warning.
Tobias took a breath and tried to relax. "No, ma'am, it's okay. I'm here for you to get to know me. I'm twenty-eight."
"There is nothing wrong with waiting to attend college. It is a huge expense and investment. We will be feeling the ripples of this one and her brother for several more years. I think more kids should wait until they're ready to take it seriously," Natalie declared.
Tris nodded with her and reached out to lend her support to Tobias with a gentle squeeze. Tris's touch was brief. Andrew's eyes had immediately followed the movement and she retracted, blushing.
"So what did you do before you decided to go to college?" Andrew continued his line of questioning. Natalie closed her eyes and prayed that Tobias didn't say anything about prison, sowing oats, or hitchhiking around the country.
"Tobias was in the Army, Dad. He's still in the Reserves." Tris finally spoke up, firmly asserting his background. She dared her father to disapprove of a veteran.
"Active duty?" Andrew asked.
Tobias nodded.
"Like combat?" Andrew's lip curled up and his brow furrowed.
"Six tours: two in Iraq, four in Afghanistan."
Andrew Prior rarely put his foot in his mouth, but with the happiness and safety of his daughter squarely in his focus, all the stereotypes and negative news stories percolated up into his memory.
"And you came back all in one piece?" Andrew's hand drifted to his head, and Tobias swallowed his anger and disappointment. He was done hoping that he and Andrew could get along.
"Andrew!" Natalie's mouth hung open. Tris's hand was instantly in his. She gripped him hard to ground him and remind him why they were here in the first place. But she also was looking for a hint of what he wanted: if he wanted her to speak for him, or leave, or if her family was, in fact, too much to bear.
"No, sir. No one comes back all in one piece. If you're looking for some tally of atrocities or a copy of my VA records, you're gonna be waiting a long time."
"I just want to make sure my little girl is safe."
"All due respect, she's not your little anything. She's a strong, capable woman, and I trust her to make her own decisions. Maybe you should, too." Tobias scooted to the edge of the couch and prepared to leave.
"Forgive him, please. Tobias, stay." Natalie shifted from Andrew's side to his. He leaned slightly away from her gentle touch on his shoulder.
She continued, "Andrew means no disrespect to your service. And I certainly don't have any concerns about Beatrice's judgment. This is a strange situation for everyone. Beatrice hasn't given us much practice at this whole meeting-the-boyfriend thing, and it's hard for a father to see his daughter breaking away to form her own life."
Natalie's intensely maternal gaze sucked the anger out of him, replacing it with a soothing sense that no situation was ever really lost. That they could recover the night. He relaxed back into the cushion.
"Good. Now, Andrew, apologize to this young man."
Andrew took a deep breath, let it out slowly, brought his eyes to Tobias's and commenced with sincerity, "Tobias, I am sorry that I offended you. I didn't mean to be disrespectful. You obviously mean a lot to my daughter." His eyes flashed to the two clasped hands. "I promise my best and most open mind for the remainder of the night."
Tris nudged Tobias. He looked back at her, wary and uncomfortable.
Natalie bounced up at the one minute warning from the oven timer. "Tobias, I was wondering if you could help me in the kitchen?"
Tobias reluctantly dropped Tris's hand and followed her mother into the kitchen. Tris could hear her mother's opening peacekeeping statement. "So tell me, how did you get Tris to a Cubs game?"
"I cannot believe you," Tris hissed at her father.
Andrew ducked his head and blew his cheeks out.
"You were the one that said you wanted to meet him. And then ever since we stepped in the door you've been… you've been… this isn't you!" she declared.
"I know, I'm sorry. I don't know why. How well do you know him?"
"Dad," she scolded, standing up and taking two wine glasses into the dining room.
Andrew grabbed Natalie's glass in his free hand and followed her. He thought it best to leave his behind. "Beatrice, I'm sorry. You're right. My best behavior. I swear."
"Better be. He's… he's important to me. I know this must seem like a phase or something to you, but he's actually a really great guy."
"Honey, no. I know you haven't had the best luck and I want you to be happy. I'm gonna keep my mouth shut and let your mother talk baseball."
Tris chuckled, breaking into a smirk. "Don't damn us both for the rest of the night."
Andrew returned her reserved smile and stayed standing while he waited to be called to help.
"But that Joseph Reynolds at Central! He is something else. The Cubs would do well to pick him up." Natalie carried the pan of fish filets.
"I don't even know who you mean." Tobias was laughing, the casserole dish between two hot-pad covered hands.
"Really? Beatrice said you were a fan! There is nothing like finding a talent in the prep sheets and watching him do well in the pros."
Andrew passed behind Natalie to retrieve the rolls. Natalie was seated by the time he returned. Tobias took her direction and sat across from Tris. Andrew avoided eye contact with Tobias, his embarrassment still lingering.
Natalie held her hand out, taking Tris's in her right hand and holding her left out for Tobias. He looked at her, confused, then watched Andrew extend his right hand to him as well. He took hold of their hands and swallowed back concern.
"Andrew, your turn." Natalie bowed her head.
Andrew cleared his throat, and bowed his head. Tris left her eyes up to catch Tobias's before she too bowed her head.
"Lord, thank you for bringing us together and giving us each other. In our community, may we always find both joy and humbling mercy." He punctuated his short blessing with an affirming, "Amen."
Natalie started by serving Tobias a filet, and then herself.
"Tell us a little more about yourself, Tobias. What is your family like?" Natalie prompted a safe topic.
Tris leaned in a little. Tobias had never shared much about his family.
"Not much to say, ma'am. I'm not close with my family. I haven't spoken to them in years, actually." Tobias passed the salad without taking any.
Natalie smiled kindly. "I'm sorry to hear that. I myself don't have any surviving family. It can be lonely without that connection."
"I've made up for it with good friends," he assured.
Tris eased back in her seat and creased her eyebrows. Tobias gave her an apologetic smile and stayed pleasant through the rest of the uneventful night.
If you're new to my writing, I have a few other shorts and a long, long angsty opus. Click on my profile and poke around. Remember to set an Author Alert to get emails the next time I post.
I'm still daydreaming on this one. So I left it open in case I come back to it. There's so many possible directions. Please leave a comment and let me know your thoughts.
