Sometimes you just need roller coaster fluff, man.
"Can I file for divorce if we're not even married yet?"
"Uh, no, I think that's just called breaking up," Blaine said, chuckling, as Kurt looked torn between turning away in a huff or burying himself in Blaine's arms. "And I thought we agreed that that didn't really work out for us the first time?"
"That was before my fiance was actively trying to kill me," Kurt said, shuffling forward in line a bit. "It's 'to have to hold,' Blaine, not 'to have and to launch hundreds of feet into the air at top speed with no brakes.'"
"Baby, I can't remember ever hearing about someone dying tragically on a roller coaster unless it was a particularly sadistic game of Roller Coaster Tycoon," Blaine said, dragging his stiff fiance into his arms. "And since there isn't a mysterious, unseen force above us just waiting to drag us off the tracks and into a fountain, I think we're probably pretty safe."
"I'm still not appeased," Kurt grumbled, burying his face in Blaine's neck. Blaine could feel Kurt's pouty lips against his skin.
"Can I make you a deal?"
"If it doesn't involve getting out of line for this death trap immediately and driving back to Lima, I don't wanna hear it," Kurt said, though he pulled back a little to properly look at Blaine.
"If we live through this coaster ride and you still hate it – because I would like to point out that you've never ridden anything here – then I will definitely take us back to Burt's for the night, but not until after I've won you the biggest stuffed animal and purchased you the largest coffee beverage we can find. Then we can spend all night cuddling and watching whatever cheesy VH1 special is on, and I will also let you pick the cake for our wedding without arguing about the flavor," Blaine said. "Deal?"
"And what if I like it, though I doubt that will ever happen," Kurt said, looking intrigued.
"I promise not to say I told you so and you can pick the next ride," Blaine said without missing a beat.
"...Deal. And you also can't judge me if I scream!" Kurt said, sticking out his hand.
"Of course not," Blaine said, taking Kurt's hand. "Now, are you ready? The Maverick has been my favorite ride here ever since it opened and we're almost to the front of the line!"
"Can anyone really be ready to face certain death, B?" Kurt asked. "It's like asking, 'Are you ready to eat that cookie filled with laxatives?'"
"You're such a drama queen," Blaine said, rolling his eyes.
"Oh, and you aren't?" Kurt responded, which was a fair point. Before Blaine could retort, though, they reached the front of their gate. "God, aren't we really far forward?"
"Kurt, we're in the exact middle of the train," Blaine said, pushing him forward and into the car before stepping over his legs to toss their satchel with their keys and wallets into the bin provided and sitting back down. He fastened his shoulder restraint down tightly, noticing that Kurt already had his secured and was holding on with a death grip. "Hey. Hey, relax. It's going to be fun, I promise."
"I'm already seeing my life flashing before my eyes and we're not even moving yet," Kurt said, not relaxing at all. when Blaine started stroking his hands. "I heard everyone screaming, Blaine!"
"Screams of joy, Kurt, screams of joy," Blaine said as the attendant came by and made sure they were buckled up right. The lead guy gave his spiel with the facts about the ride, and then they were taking off.
"Oh my God oh my God oh my God," Kurt muttered as they hit the tracks. "This is already going so fast, oh my G- aaaaaaahhhhhhh!" His voice reached even higher than Blaine was expecting as they whipped down the first hill and into the twists and turns. "You didn't tell me the track wasn't level!"
"Oops?" Blaine yelled in between his shouts of ecstasy. "Look at that view!"
"Blaine! Don't let go of the restraints, are you crazy?!" Kurt screamed as they went down the second hill, looking like he wanted to grab Blaine's hands himself if it wouldn't likely mean his own doom as well. "Was – was that it?" he asked as they went into a dark tunnel.
"Not quuiiiiitee!" Blaine said as the warp tunnel shot them out even faster than before. Kurt's only response was a wordless shriek of some unidentifiable emotion. They hurled down the last few twists and loops before rolling back into the station, both of them out of breath and wind-flushed.
"We're alive," Kurt said once they were out of the station and back on solid ground. He flung his arms around Blaine giddily. "Blaine! We're alive!"
"I know, baby, I was there," Blaine teased, wrapping his own arms around Kurt in an attempt to keep him from bouncing away. "Well?"
"I...," Kurt began, looking uncertain.
"I'm so sorry, I should've listened to you and not made you ride," Blaine spit out in one gasp, thinking Kurt had hated it. "Do you wanna- mmph."
"Blaine. Shut up and let me finish," Kurt said, having clapped a hand over Blaine's mouth. "I kinda liked it, actually."
"Really?" Blaine asked after freeing his mouth. "You're not just saying that to ease my crippling guilt?"
"Please, like I'd let you off that easy," Kurt teased. "I'm not that selfless, Blaine Anderson."
"So I don't have to take you home immediately?" Blaine teased back.
"If you did, I'd make you sleep on the couch," Kurt said. "C'mon, that big purple one over there looks really cool!"
"I'll make an adrenaline junkie of you yet, Hummel."
"I'm still gonna make you win me a bear, though."
"I suppose I can live with that. Now hurry up, the line's getting really long!"
