Hii. Sorry. The story isn't so good. But it's my first fanfiction ever and it's not that bad either. Hope you'll have fun. Reviews are very much appretiated.

Not my charaters.

The Pain You Gave Me, the Love You Took From Me

Rachel's couldn't believe it was a year ago that she'd been to the Glee audition. Everything had happened so fast. Never was she a person to be intimidated before she joined Glee club. She was a whole different person now. Which was good. Kind of.

At least it was a lot easier for her when she was the 'old Rachel'. She didn't have boy problems with Finn, Puck or Jesse. Okay. You're right. She'd never fallen for Puck at all. But there was a lot of drama with him as well. She wasn't used to that when she was the 'old Rachel'. Now everything she lived for was Glee…and this one boy. Sure, she had been in love with Finn. At least she thought so. He was attractive, he liked her, he could sing and he was cute. But he wasn't Jesse. Jesse St. James. The boy she was so unconditionally in love with. Although he had used her, although she knew he never loved her back, although she knew he didn't even care about her. And it hurt so much. He humiliated her and still, she couldn't keep herself from thinking about him every single minute.

Today was the day. It was the day of the 'Regionals' and even if 'New Directions' would win, she would have lost everything. She knew it the second Finn told her he loved her.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

Like an echo. She didn't even know what to say. Everything was a blur. All she could think of was Jesse. What it would have been like if he would have said that to her. Just once. She knew it could have changed everything. This was so wrong. When Finn told her he loved her, she shouldn't been thinking of Jesse. The bad, conceited, priggish, messy-haired….amazingly good-looking, smart, funny Jesse. And that's when she looked right into Finn's eyes and all she could do was smile. She didn't think he would take it. But Finn didn't even notice. He simply smiled back.

And then they started singing.

Highway run

Into the midnight sun

Wheels go round and round

You're on my mind

Restless Hearts

Sleep alone tonight

Sending all my love along the wire

They say that the road

Ain't no place to start a family

Right down the line it's been you and me

And loving a music man

Ain't always what it's supposed to be

Oh Girl

You stand by me

I'm forever yours

Faithfully

It was not until then when she discovered Jesse standing in the corner of the full audience. He was staring right into her eyes. She didn't know if it felt good or not. It definitely wasn't a pleasurable pain. But amongst the hurt, she could feel the love she would probably always feel for this guy. She couldn't stand looking into his eyes. She tried to think about Finn, about their relationship. It could all be so easy. He was a good guy and he loved her. Why couldn't she reciprocate the love? A few months ago she could've easily loved Finn. But not now, that she knew Jesse.

She didn't know when or how she had managed to go up the stage until she could feel Finn holding her hand. She wondered if she had just stopped singing at all. At the end of the song she once again looked up to the corner where Jesse had just stood a few minutes ago. But he wasn't there. She didn't know whether to feel relieved or even more hurt.

Vocal Adrenaline would be coming up next. Everyone except Rachel had gone to the hospital because Quinn was having a baby. She really wanted to go to the others – to her friends – but all she could think of was listening to Jesse one last time. She knew it would hurt. Lately everything hurt. So why not enjoy the pain to the fullest?

Rachel sat down in the audience. She was feeling a bit sick in her stomach. Understandable, since she was nervous and heartbroken.

The curtain rose.

She wondered if he would even see her.

Apparently she did see him. And she heard his angelic, crystal clear voice.

Her eyes flashed and her heart stopped beating. It wasn't fair. How could he manage to sing and look like that when she was feeling like crap?

Rachel's eyes where still fixed on Jesse when he suddenly saw her. She thought she had seen a short wincing and a loss of his 'smiling show face' for a short second, when he was back to normal again. Was that a good sign? Or was he just thinking about what a pain in the ass she was?

In the midst of their performance Rachel couldn't take the embarrassment anymore.

She didn't even notice the shocked Jesse who was trying to focus on his singing when he was clearly distracted.

Tears were running down her face and she ran backstage to the room she had been earlier before with 'New Directions'. She leaned herself against the wall and tried to catch her breath again. The time ran by. After 10 minutes of crying, breath-catching, crying and a lot of thinking she thought she wanted to go away from here. She went to the chair, where she had earlier left her bag and searched for her cell phone. She just wanted to dial her dad's number when-

"Rachel?" He sounded nervous. As if he didn't know what he was doing here and what to expect from this situation.

She looked up. The tears were now falling shamelessly from her cheeks again.

When she didn't reply, he continued: "It's good to see you. I-I've been thinking a lot about you lately. Look Rachel, I know you won't forgive me. I probably wouldn't if I were you. But I am so, so sorry. I-"

That's when she stopped him.

"Why?"

He was probably as shocked to hear her voice as she was.

"Your mother wanted me to 'befriend' you. And I really didn't care about you at first. You were just another capture to me which I would forget as soon as I met.". When she thought her heart couldn't hurt anymore, it certainly did. "But it was different with you. I-I really like you Rachel. You're smart and cute and I like it when we talk about Musicals and how we are going to sing together at the Broadway. And I never want to sing with somebody else anymore. And I like it how you take your 'golden star stickers' everywhere and how you are a vegan and care about animals so much or how you talk the whole day. I love to listen to you, even if you've got a really high-pitched voice sometimes." And he started laughing as if he was thinking of a memory in his head. And I smiled at him, still not able to talk.

Somehow he managed to understand – he always did - and continued.

"What I was really trying to say was…I…lo…I care about you. And if you are ever going to forgive me, I'm going to be the happiest man in the world. Because even if we can't be together anymore, 'cause you can't trust me, I really want to try to be friends with you again. I can't imagine my life without you anymore. And that's all I have to say to you for now and you don't have to say anything. I would just really appreciate it if you would think about it."

And with that he gave me a crooked smile and turned to the door. When he was just going to step outside she managed to whisper something.

"I've already forgiven you. I was never mad at you…You broke my heart."

He looked right into her eyes and stepped right in front of her. The tears were there again. Those stupid tears. She didn't want him to see her like that. So she wiped them away with the back of her hand. They were pretty resistant though and she couldn't keep them from coming.

She could feel his breath against her face and she loved the feeling of it. He traced a finger at her face and wiped her tears away.

"Shh. Everything is going to be alright."

She buried her face in his chest, inhaling his every scent. And she sighed at how good he smelled and how she had missed him. He wrapped his arms around her and Rachel couldn't believe how he made her feel special and happy in seconds. They stood there for about 5 minutes when she said something she couldn't believe she did.

"Finn told me he loves me."

Why did she have to ruin everything?

There was silence.

"Well…What did you tell him? If I may know."

She could feel his breath against her ear.

"Nothing. He just told me before our performance."

And another pause. But then she continued: "I was thinking about you though."

Rachel couldn't bear the silence anymore.

She looked up in his eyes. They were so soft and fragile now. They belonged to the Jesse she was in love with.

He cupped her face with his hands now and she couldn't help but shiver from the feeling.

"Well….I love you as well."

She could swear her heart stopped beating this very second. Now there were tears of joy.

"I love you, too." And then he kissed her. And she realised how much she had missed his soft,

velvet lips. She always thought her lips were made just to touch his.

It was passion.

It was love.

It was desire.

It was pure perfection.