One More Night
God what is it with Stephen and Douglas? They are always together these days. It wasn't so long ago Stephen and I were always together, I couldn't help but feel a little jealous, not because I wanted Stephen, because I don't; I've moved on haven't I? I think it's the history we once shared. They are trying to start a business together which I'm pretty sure is bound to fail; I could always make sure of that couldn't I.
it's been a while since Stephen and I had talked and in a strange way I missed it, I couldn't shut him up half the time and now there's nothing, my life is definitely a lot quieter without him. Chez is always going on about them and their blossoming partnership, both business and pleasure, I pretend I'm not listening, but I am…to every word.
I don't care for him anymore, at least that is what I tell myself; and most of the time it works. I see them together and it feels like someone is stabbing me in the heart. I try so hard to feel nothing, especially when it comes to Stephen, but it's no use, because I still do feel something for him I know I've blown it with him but I will still try and get him back. I will always mess with him, that's just the way I am, the way we are. This is what we do, we love one day and hate the next. Did he really think that we were going to live happily ever after? Things aren't that simple and too much has happened between us, so then why can't I let the boy go? He deserves to have so much more than I can give him, he deserves better than me but I know I'll never let him have better than me. When I think he's moving on, ill mess with him again, I won't let it happen, I just won't. He will always be my Stephen whether we are together or not.
I'll have to think of something to keep them apart, I can't have them getting friendlier, I know Douglas isn't gay but neither was Stephen until he met me. They might have even already slept together, who knows? Stephen never looks at me anymore, I know that he has moved on, I never thought he would, but he has. He seems to laugh a lot more now, especially with him. I thought he'd always be there waiting for me for when I needed him.
I wonder if he sees me watching him and what would he think if he did? They are cooking outside the club again tonight, Chez said it was okay and I don't mind really although they better know what they are doing, it didn't go down too well last time, so Chez told me. It's kind of nice knowing that he'll be outside tonight, like he's still near, I could always see how they were getting on later too, couldn't I? Stalk my prey?
Its 9:00pm and the club is really busy, we have enough staff on and I don't really need to be behind the bar, which is good; that way I can keep an eye on them, which I did, at every opportunity. I even took a couple of beers out to them, Douglas thanked me but Stephen he just stared at me, an empty stare which made my blood run cold. He used to look at me like I was some sort of god, I must have smacked that look out of him, hit him too many times. Now he looks at me like I'm a nobody, which I suppose I am to him now. Around 11:00pm they started packing up, I of course, was still watching them, not caring if they could see me.
They'd enjoyed each other's company tonight, a lot more than I'd like to admit. I wondered if they'd go home together, so when I heard them saying goodbye to eachother and realised they weren't, I took my chance and started to follow Stephen home. He knew I was there, he could sense me, I thought he would run, but he didn't, he just walked – looking around every so often. I didn't know what I was going to say or even do; I just carried on following him. I watched as Stephen walked up to his door, I was so close to him, I had to quickly decide what I was going to do, I walked up to him grabbing his arm, he turned around to face me, he wasn't surprised, but I was.
That empty look he had before had gone and now all I could see was a lust a want a need, it of course was the same look I had for him. I didn't say anything and neither did he, words were not needed for why we were back here again. I pulled him close to me he was eager to kiss me back; we both wanted the same thing. No one else made me feel the way he did, we were bonded in that way. We couldn't stop the pull, the attraction.
Even when we were angry at eachother we still came back to touch eachother once more. Luckily for me Amy and the kids were at Mikes so we had the place to ourselves. We barely made it in the door, clothes flying everywhere! I couldn't get enough of him and he couldn't get enough of me, it was like we'd never been apart. But of course we had been. It had been nearly 8 months since we had last slept together, how could I of left it so long? I forgotten how good he felt, how soft his skin was, how great the sex was between us.
Stephen is a generous lover, always wanting to please, and that's just what he did. We explored every part of eachother over and over again. How I've needed this, how I've needed him. This doesn't change anything though, does it? Things will still be the same between us in the morning, he will always want more than I can give to him, but he will always come back to me anyway, and I will always take him.
I don't know why, it's just the way it is. The way it's always been. I lay with him afterwards because it feels right, because I needed him tonight, Stephen was already asleep, it didn't take him long. It never did. I can't help but look at him whilst he's sleeping; he really is beautiful to look at. I don't know if we will ever change, or if this is how it will always be for us, but for now I just wanted this,
one more night.
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