"No."

"But Bilbo, it'd be barely up to your waist!"

Thorin was stood in the river in his smallclothes, the water up to his ankles. Bilbo was stood on the bank, leaning against a tree with his arms crossed over his chest.

"I have no inclination whatsoever to learn to swim, thank you very much, let alone freeze my bollocks off in that river."

Thorin sighed.

"The water isn't cold, it's almost midsummer's day! And, you know, Bilbo, if you co-operate now, you could get rewarded later for being a brave little hobbit."

Bilbo's expression wavered. Thorin noticed, and he smirked. They broke eye contact and Bilbo's gaze fell to the ground. His arms dropped to his sides and his hands clasped behind his back. Sensing some deep reason for his husband's reluctance, Thorin approached him, his wet feet squelching slightly on the grassy, muddy bank. He stood toe-to-toe with Bilbo, his pale feet (he was almost always wearing boots, after all) contrasting with Bilbo's hairier, more tanned ones. He gently loosened the hobbit's hands so that he could hold them.

"There's nobody else around here," Thorin said softly, "nothing to be embarrassed about. I won't let anything happen to you, I swear."

Bilbo lifted his head to lock eyes with his husband. Thorin leaned forward so their foreheads met.

"Promise?" Bilbo murmured.

Thorin nodded. "Of course."

After a moment, he asked "Do you feel better now?"

Bilbo nodded.

"Then can I kiss you?"

A more enthusiastic nod. Thorin captured Bilbo's lips in his in a soft, gentle gesture that many might have thought uncharacteristic of the strong, rugged dwarven king. They released each other's hands, Thorin resting his at the base of Bilbo's back and Bilbo spreading his palms and fingers over Thorin's bare chest, tenderly stroking with his thumbs. Soon, Thorin found Bilbo's mouth opening, and so Thorin's tongue entered and explored. Though this was not an infrequent occurrence, Thorin never got bored with expressing his love for his hobbity husband. After a seemingly endless few minutes, they had to break apart for breath, their foreheads touching once more. Thorin poised his hands over the buttons on Bilbo's jacket.

"May I?" he asked.

Bilbo nodded, just still trying to catch his breath. Bilbo kissed his husband as Thorin made short work of the buttons, sliding the burgundy corduroy from Bilbo's shoulders with practiced ease and letting it drop to the ground. He began work on Bilbo's waistcoat, the hobbit's arms found their way to the dwarf's neck. They moved only to aid the removal of his waistcoat and shirt, which followed the same fate as his jacket. Bilbo thought about pointing out that they'd get dirty, but swiftly decided against the idea. The two were now equally topless, though both still with smallclothes and Bilbo still in trousers. This soon changed, however, as they both contributed to the unfastening and dropping of the dark brown garment. Thorin slid his hands down onto Bilbo's arse, and was met with a moan into his mouth from the hobbit. Moving a few inches lower, Thorin lifted him by the thighs and Bilbo curled his legs around Thorin's waist. After a few moments, when he was confident that he was holding Bilbo securely, Thorin slowly took a step backwards, so Bilbo was no longer leaning against the tree. Bilbo's arms tightened instinctively, and he pulled back in surprise.

"You trust me, don't you?" Thorin asked.

Bilbo nodded. "Of course I do. With my life."

Thorin continued stepping backwards, one at a time, maintaining his grip on Bilbo's thighs. Once Bilbo heard the water splashing against Thorin's feet, he tensed and pulled back again, resting his chin on Thorin's shoulder. Thorin rubbed circles on Bilbo's skin with his thumbs in an effort to calm him. Once the water just about reached Thorin's crotch, he stopped walking.

"You can stand up now, if you want," he said, "it isn't deep, I promise."

Bilbo took a deep breath and uncurled his legs. Thorin helped lower him down slowly. As promised, the water only reached Bilbo's waist. He also found the water pleasantly warm, though this wasn't something he was about to mention to Thorin.

Bilbo stood with his feet spread slightly apart on the riverbed in an effort to counteract the gentle current. He was still almost chest to chest with Thorin, who was holding his hands with a proud smile. He admired the way the early afternoon sun caught Bilbo's hair, making it shine like a halo and reminding him of molten gold and copper.

The rest of the swimming lesson went surprisingly well. Gentle encouragements, lingering touches and soft kisses made Bilbo a fast learner. Once they were both sufficiently worn out, they lay side by side on the bank to dry in the sun. When they noticed the sun beginning to set and bleed tones of pink across the previously cloudless blue sky, they dressed again (assisting each other, of course) and made their way home to Bag End.