Fix This
Warning: Mentions of self harm and suicide
PLEASE READ NOTE AT BOTTOM OF STORY
Wes was walking down the familiar halls of Dalton Academy. Under normal circumstances he would be pleased to be back here to see his friends. However, these weren't normal circumstances, and he wasn't here to see his friends; he was here to see Sebastian Smyth. Two days ago he had gotten a phone call from Kurt, a phone all he never expected to be getting.
*Start Flashback*
"Hello?" Wes said as he picked up the phone.
"Wes? It's Kurt."
"Hey Kurt, how've you been?" Wes said, happy to hear from his friend.
"Umm, not so good actually. I'm really sorry to be calling, but…" Kurt trailed off, feeling stupid for calling Wes.
"Kurt, what is it? What's going on?" Wes asked, concerned now.
"It's Blaine," Kurt said.
"What about Blaine?" Wes asked worried. Kurt launched into the story. He told Wes everything from the meeting in the Lima Bean to the slushy. By the time Kurt was finished talking he was near tears.
"There was nothing I could do Wes," he sniffed, "Blaine pushed me out of the way and got a face full of slushy before I could stop it."
"This isn't you fault Kurt, alright? This is entirely that Sebastian kids fault," Wes said firmly.
"I know Wes, I just…" Kurt paused for a moment before he continued, "Wes he was in so much pain. He was screaming and they– they just walked away. They walked away Wes, all of them. Trent, Nick, Jeff, Thad, Jon, even David. Blaine was so upset when I told him they had left, I think that upset him more than anything else."
"The Warblers were his family," Wes said, "I can't believe they just walked away."
"Wes, I don't know what to do," Kurt admitted quietly.
"Don't worry Kurt, just take care of Blaine and leave the rest to me."
*End Flashback*
So that was why Wes now found himself walking down the halls of Dalton Academy to the Warbler practice room. He could hear voices from inside and stopped for a moment, thinking they were in the middle of rehearsal. However, what he heard instead made Wes even angrier than he already was.
"…can't you ever do anything right?" He heard an unfamiliar voice say.
"Sebastian, shut up and leave him alone," Nick said from inside.
"Why? Just because your boyfriend is about to cry like he's seven instead of seventeen? It's not my fault that your boyfriend is totally incapable of doing anything." Wes heard this voice – Sebastian – say and decided he'd heard enough, especially if the person Sebastian was talking to was who he thought it was. He pushed the doors open and everyone in the room turned to look at him. Everyone that is, except for Nick and Jeff. Jeff was looking at his lap and Wes suspected he was close to tears. Nick had eyes only for his boyfriend, trying to get him to forget about everything Sebastian had said.
"Wes!" David exclaimed at the sight of his best friend, "What are you doing here dude? I thought you weren't coming down until Spring Break?"
"I wasn't," Wes said, "That is, I wasn't until I got a phone call from Kurt a couple days ago." The Warblers smiles all fell and they had the decency to look ashamed of themselves.
"I'm sorry, but who are you?" Sebastian asked.
"Wes Montgomery, I was head of the council last year," Wes informed him, "Who are you?"
"Sebastian Smyth, I'm head of the Warblers now."
"Head of the Warblers? What happened to the council?"
"Disbanded," Sebastian told him, "The three who were running it weren't quite up to scratch."
"David, Thad, and Jon were running the council. How were they not up to scratch?" Wes asked.
"They weren't always willing to do what it took to win," Sebastian said simply.
"What like hurt their friend?" Wes asked, "I'm not just talking about Blaine either, what was going on right before I walked in?" His eyes flickered to Jeff and Nick and a few of the Warblers looked towards the two boys as well.
"I was just explaining to Jeff here why it is that if he doesn't step up his game he'll be out of the Warblers," Sebastian informed Wes.
"Oh really? That sure isn't what it sounded like to me," Wes said coolly.
"Really," Sebastian said, smirking at the older boy.
"I want everyone out," Wes said loudly, his eyes never leaving Sebastian, "Everyone except David, Nick, Jeff, Trent, Thad, and Jon."
"We're in the middle of rehearsal," Sebastian said.
"Not anymore," Wes took a step closer to him before he looked around at the Warbler expectantly. They took the hint and left, leaving only Wes, Sebastian, and the requested six.
"You too," Wes said, turning back to Sebastian, "I don't care if you wait in the hall or go back to your dorm, I want you out. Now." Sebastian was smart; smart enough to know that Wes' tone was not one of someone to be taken lightly. Sebastian turned on his heel and walked out of the room, closing the doors as he left. The remaining Warblers were silent as they watched Wes cross the room. Wes crouched down in front of Jeff and put his hand on Jeff's shoulder, removing it when the younger boy flinched violently.
"Jeff," he said quietly and the blonde slowly lifted his head. His eyes were red and puffy and there were still a few tears escaping his eyes. There was also a dark red blush across his face at being caught crying because of what Sebastian had said to him.
"Jeff, are you okay?" Wes asked gently. Jeff always smiled, was always happy and laughing. He was the one to lighten the mood if things got too dull or serious. However, the other six people in the room with Jeff had seen the blonde boy at both his best and worst moments. They had been there when he would wake up from a nightmare screaming. They had been the ones Jeff had first told about his suicide attempt because of the bullying. They were there when Jeff ran into his old bullies and had a meltdown. Jeff didn't cry very often. He'd cried of happiness when he realized he could be himself with the Warblers, when they had defended him against his bullies, when he and Nick had gotten together, and when they spent their first night together. Now though, these weren't happy tears.
"He's just like them," he said shakily and the others all knew he meant Sebastian was just like his old bullies.
"Jeff, I didn't hear everything he said, but I heard some of it. Has he said that stuff to you before?" Wes asked his friend. Jeff nodded, more tears escaping and his friends gasped.
"Jeff, why didn't you tell us?" Nick asked.
"He…" Jeff trailed off, shaking.
"Jeff, has he ever threatened you?" Wes asked and his friends watched him tensely. Jeff nodded again and all his friends started talking at once.
"Shh," Nick hushed them and they saw Jeff was shaking violently as he curled into Nick's side.
"Jeff, what did he tell you?" Nick asked his boyfriend calmly.
"He… he said he'd hurt me. The same way those kids at my old school did. He said that – that he'd hurt you," Jeff choked out as he turned to look at Nick, "He said he'd hurt you Nicky and I just couldn't deal with it if he did. I couldn't live with myself if he hurt you because of me." Jeff broke down and buried his face in Nick's shoulder as the other boy held him tightly.
"Shh, it's okay baby, its okay, I've got you," Nick whispered over and over again. The other Warblers watched sadly, realizing that this was the same Jeff who had first come to Dalton a year and a half ago. This was the same scared kid who was terrified of his own shadow. They had all thought Jeff was better, but apparently they were wrong. So very wrong. All it had taken to push him over the edge again was Sebastian, a fellow Warbler.
"Jeff," Wes said gently, once the younger boy had calmed down a bit, "How long has this been going on? How long has Sebastian been threatening you?"
"Since the start of the year," Jeff said quietly, "I didn't like him much when he joined the Warblers, he seemed too cocky, but I figured that would go away eventually. He started flirting with me, at least I think he was flirting, I've always been really bad at that stuff." The Warblers all laughed quietly, remembering how long it had taken Nick and Jeff to get together.
"When I told him to back off he started getting more intense. He called me weak and pathetic, told me that you guys were only friends with me because you felt bad for me; he told me Nick was only pretending to love me and he, umm… He told me I wasn't worth anything and it would be better for everyone else if I just left…"
"Oh Jeff," Nick said, "Why didn't you tell me, or any of us, that this was happening?" Jeff just shrugged but Jon saw the look on his face.
"You thought it was true," he said, "You thought we were only pretending to be your friends because we felt bad for you." Jeff played with the sleeve of his blazer but didn't look at any of them.
"Jeff that's not true!" Trent exclaimed, "We all love you."
"Not in the same way as Nick obviously," Thad said with a small smile, "More as a brother." Wes saw that Jeff was still playing with the sleeve of his blazer and knew he had to ask the one question he really didn't want to.
"Jeff did you – I mean – did you hurt yourself?" Wes asked and the Warblers froze. They hadn't thought of that. Jeff had a long history of self-harming. He'd done it in elementary school after being constantly bullied. It continued into high school up until his suicide attempt and then continued still for a short time after he arrived at Dalton. He'd stopped a year ago though, once he realized he really was safe and he really was loved.
"Jeff, baby please, we're not going to judge you, but if you did then you need to tell us so we can help you," Nick said gently. Jeff looked at the faces of his friends and then looked back down at his lap. Wes saw the younger boy's face crumble before he choked out a few words.
"I'm sorry!" Jeff said as he started sobbing, "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to! I just didn't know what else to do! Please don't hate me! Please!" Nick pulled his boyfriend against him and held him tightly.
"Shh, don't be sorry Jeff, you haven't don't anything wrong. We could never hate you, never baby. Shush Love, it's okay," he repeated over and over.
"Jeff, Nick's right," David said, "You don't have anything to apologize for and we could never hate you."
"Can you show us Jeff?" Wes asked, "We need you to show us so we can help you." Jeff slowly nodded and then rolled up his sleeves. He took a deep breath before he turned his wrists over. There, the others saw many long gashes. Some were old and healing while other were recent, an angry red colour. They went in every direction; self loathing and fear of abandonment behind each one.
"Oh God, Jeff," Trent said.
"I'm sorry," Jeff said again as he dropped his hands into his lap.
"Don't be sorry," Nick said again, "don't you ever be sorry for this okay? We are going to get through this Jeff, you hear me? We are going to get through this, all of us, together."
"You're not alone anymore Jeff," Jon said.
"I believe you guys and I know I'm not alone it's just…" Jeff trailed off, pulling his sleeves back down.
"What is it Jeff?" Thad asked.
"We all said the same things to Blaine and look what happened." The Warblers all looked guiltily around at each other.
"Look, I'm heading over to Blaine's as soon as I leave here. Why don't you all come with me?" Wes said to them.
"Really?" Trent asked hopefully.
"Really," Wes said with a smile, "Nick, Jeff, why don't you two go get cleaned up and then wait by my car?" Wes suggested to the two boys who nodded and left the room. As soon as they were gone Wes turned back to the others.
"Wes, I swear we had no idea Jeff was so upset, if we had…" David stopped talking when Wes held up his hand.
"I know David," he said, "However, now it's not just Blaine that needs our help. Kurt told me that you guys leaving hurt Blaine more than the slushy did. He's always felt like he didn't' have a family that loves him. When he came to Dalton and joined the Warblers, that's exactly what he got. Now he feels like that's all been ripped away from him." The four boys looked guilty at this; but they also looked sad. They had hurt their friend; their brother and they knew they had to fix this.
"We'll fix this Wes," Trent promised and Wes smiled at him.
"Um, Wes?" Jon questioned, "What do we do about Jeff?"
"Show him the same care you did when he first arrived here. I will be talking to the headmaster about it so he and the school counselors are aware of what's going on but you guys are gonna be crucial to Jeff recovering from this. Sebastian has been a major setback for Jeff. He's back to being the scared, sad kid that he was when he first got here. The difference this time being that he has us. He has the Warblers, he has Kurt and Blaine."
"He has Nick," Thad pointed out.
"He has Nick," Wes agreed, "And I believe Nick will definitely help Jeff here, but he's going to need your help. If you notice Jeff getting overwhelmed, close to a meltdown, or if it seems like he's going to have a panic attack then help him. Take him away from what he's going, get Nick, and help keep him calm. You guys all know what to do if he's having a nightmare. Now that he's talked about what's been going on it's likely they'll start up again. So, really, just be there for him. Take care of him the way you always have. Talk to him if he thinks he's gonna hurt himself. Just be a brother to him the way you guys always have been." They all nodded and stood up.
"Come on, Nick and Jeff are gonna think we forgot about them and start making out on my car," Wes said with a smile and the boys laughed. They made their way out to their cars to find Nick and Jeff leaning against the car, Nick's arms wrapped around the blonde boy protectively. The pair broke apart and the boys all climbed into Wes' and David's cars and drove to Blaine's house. They would fix this. All of them. Together.
NOTE:
If you need help:
Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386
Kids Held Phone: 1-800-866-6868
