Wow. My very first (tenuous) step into DBZ fandom. In all honesty, it'll probably be the last, 'cause I'm not really a fan of the series. The only reason I know anything about it at all is because of an obsessed friend and my little brother's DVD collection. I was sick for a few days, and watched said DVDs for lack of anything new. As you might guess from the contents of the fic, it was Season 5: Cell Saga.

This fic is a graduation present for Ami-chan, the aformentioned obsessed friend. I would have done something with Gohan (coughcrushcough), but I don't feel I know the characters well enough. This, however, I know how to do. And for those of you who don't know me, I don't do something unless I know I can do it well.

Disclaimer: I just said I barely know the storyline. Do you think I could get away with claiming ownership of the thing?


Dr. Gero had promised him perfection. What he had achieved was... a lot more glorious, actually.

He was perfect, to be sure. In every possible way. But there was something... special about winning in such a way that everyone knew you had triumphed. Not that there was any doubt in the matter, but it had been an interesting journey. Amusing too. Watching the humans squirm as he sucked the life out of them was always a good source of entertainment. And for when he got bored of even that, there were the Z Fighters...

Now there was a challenge, almost worthy of his ultimate greatness. Almost. It would have been more fun to play with them, but they had been just skilled enough to get on his nerves. One by one though, they all fell to his superior might.

That was the one thing that still bothered him, the one thing even his perfect intellect failed to comprehend: why did they keep coming? Not that he didn't welcome the exercise, but it was a serious lapse in logic for the warriors to challenge him when they knew they had no chance of winning. Why did they keep attacking after their comerades had already failed? Perhaps an error in their programming?

He pushed the thought aside. It mattered little now. Really, it only served to demonstrate his own perfection in the face of all opposition. Besides, with the upcoming tournament, they would get their wish, and could behave as illogically as their faulty hearts desired. And they would get ten days to prepare in the meantime. In his own perfect opinion, he had been more than generous.

And perhaps he might even get some sport out of that Goku fellow. The one everyone always talked about. That battle was something he looked forward to with some excitement.

He sighed contentedly. The world of this age was such an interesting place. Once there hadn't been much to this tiny little planet on the fringes of the galaxy. There was Mesopotamia, Egypt, the islands of the Far East. The Greeks rose and fell, as did the Romans. Babylon became great, then cannibalized itself. India was taken apart and eaten alive. Everyone was afraid.

Now, he was born into a world where the edges of the globe and beyond had been explored. New ideas, new technologies, new species had been introduced to the oblivious Earthlings. The mysteries of the universe were unraveling. The nations had spread across the Earth and their defective peoples had multiplied like rabbits, living and dying, each one as unnoticed and unimportant as a cell in the body.

The humans were the body of this planet. And now this planet was his toy. It was young. It was soft.

It was ripe.


By the way, the opening and closing statements were largely inspired by a short passage in Victoria Hughes' Yugioh fanfic Doubtless Dropping Off. I don't own that either, just so you know.

Win? Fail? Divide by zero? Review and tell me what you think!

Congradulations, Ami-chan! See you at the party!