Hello everyone this is strongdude55 with another exciting fanfic. Even though I hate having to say this every time I write a fanfic I do NOT own resident evil or anything I'm just a regular person writing fanfics.

Resident Report "HELLLLLLLLLLLLLO EVRYBODY". I am Chris Redfield with our daily news report. "Breaking news, nemesis has been shooting his rocket launcher into the sky trying to destroy the stars". I don't think he knows he'll ever kill them because they are in this very TV station. "Uh Chris you do know that nemesis is our weather reporter" Leon said. "Oh said Chris, sorry nemesis". "Speaking of nemesis" said Leon. "What are we gonna see in the night sky tonight some ask". "Let's go to nemesis for the weather". "What ARE we gonna see nemmy? "". "Well thanks nemesis but that's what you see every night.

"Now then let's go to Jill with girl time and crap like that". "Thank you Chris this is my session and I will tell you guys some sexy information". "We got naked pics of all the hottest RE girls just head out to our website and check under girl time with Jill. "Okay" said Chris. "I'm making sure after this broadcast I'm gonna lock myself in my room and take a look". "Anyway in other news we have the latest news on firearms down at the local guns shop so let's go to Alfred in his segment of Alfred's armory" Leon said. "Thank you Leon" Alfred said. "I have been down here taking a look at the newest models of some of our favorite guns. "Here we have the newest smith and Wesson magnum smaller than the m500 but higher caliber surprisingly. "Here we have a merchant to test it on" Alfred said. Then Alfred fires and blasts the merchant in half, Alfred being covered in blood. "That's the devastation this thing can do" he said. "Thank you Alfred and how much will it be priced and when will it be on shelves"? "$175 the first week of November after that $250". "Thanks Alfred" and that was Alfred's armory.

"Well to end the night I want to thank you all and we always end with a group segment called Resident Evil R&R". Chris said. "We all sit and tell you our ideas of rest and relaxation. "I Chris redfield think a nice time is a beer and nfl on Sundays. "And I Leon Scott Kennedy think some nice smooth jazz and a martini on my beach front property is nice. "I Jill Valentine think kicking back and just watching t.v is pretty comfortable". "And I Alfr….. "NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOU ALFRED AND YOU'VE KNOWN THAT FOR A WHILE!" Chris snapped. "And after my sudden uprising of rage I say goodnight and goodbye for now I am chris redifeld and I am leon scott kennedy and we have brought you your resident report.

p.s note: None of this is true just made up for the sake of re humor and a nice story thanks for reading and check out my other fan fics resident reunion and a walk in the park with leon and chris, also check out my friend awesome bads fanfics and another guy my friend said is good special agent funk.