This is my very first fan fiction. I was struck by the ending of 4.13 (Never Again), and the way Mulder treated Scully in their office. I wanted to extend that story to see where it might go, this is my take on how a relationship might have started from that point.
I made Mulder and Scully much more verbally expressive than these two characters actually are in the show. I know they do a lot of their communicating with their eyes and their expressions, but I wanted to explore what some of those non-verbal communications might look like verbally.
Please give an honest review. I want to know what you actually thought about the story, whether you would like to see more, or if you have any constructive feedback as well. I did not have a beta reader, so I might have some flow issues or tense inconsistencies.
I have written 4 chapters, should I write more?
THANK YOU!
From the end of the episode:
MULDER: The uh, field office in Dallas is uh, receiving reports of the image of a missing child appearing on a blank billboard outside of Arlington... (Sits again, opening new file.) ...so... All this, because I've ... because I didn't get you a desk?
SCULLY: (Looking up at him) Not everything is about you, Mulder. This is my life.
MULDER: Yes but it's m - -
(SCULLY looks at him questioningly. He starts to speak again, then sighs and fiddles with things on his desk. Uncomfortable silence in the room.)
[THE END]
Chapter 1
"Mulder, it's been a long few days, I'm going to head home. I really just need some time to process everything that's happened." Scully was unable to look Mulder in the eye.
She stood up from her chair, the one she had been sitting in for the past hour, facing Mulder as he sat behind his desk lecturing her about her stupidity while he'd been on vacation.
She made her way to the coat rack feeling utterly defeated and embarrassed, but also scared and sad, as the realization that she has cancer started to hit her.
She put her coat on slowly, waiting to see if he might stop her, but he didn't, he just went back to staring at his new case file.
She sighed, grabbed her bag, and quietly mumbled "good night Mulder, I'll see you on Monday".
Mulder didn't say anything, but he did look up as she walked out the door. He only caught the sight of her back, and the sound of her heels tapping on the tile floor as she made her way out the door to the elevator.
He saw how defeated she looked before she left their office, and now, he felt like a complete ass.
He shouldn't have said those things to her. Making fun of her, sarcastically telling her "congratulations" for making another appearance in the X-files.
He doesn't know why he does that to her. He loves her, so much it kills him a little everyday, but he knows she must hate him for the things he says to her.
He's an idiot. Why can't he just tell her? It's bad enough he doesn't share his true feelings, but he acts like a child on the playground, teasing her, making fun of her mistakes, and belittling her.
He had to fix this. He had to tell her how sorry he was for the things he's said, and the many things he hasn't said, but should have by now.
Mulder put down the case file, grabbed his coat and his keys, turned off the light, and headed out the door to see if he could catch Scully.
To say she was embarrassed was an understatement. She let her need for human touch and the need to feel carefree even for just one night get in the way of her judgment.
Although she hadn't slept with Jerse, it certainly looked like she had, especially to the one person whose opinion really mattered.
She came close, but she didn't let it happen. There was only one person she wanted in that way, and as much as she needed someone, anyone, to help ease her pain and her fears, she couldn't do that to Mulder, even if he didn't want her in the same way that she wanted him.
Although she was able to remain true to her feelings for Mulder, she still managed to spend the night in the home of a murderer, and almost became his next victim.
Stupid, stupid, stupid! Mulder was not going to let that go very easily. He didn't try to hide his feelings about her choices, and he made her feel like a complete moron. This time she admits to herself that she deserved his castigating, but it still hurt.
Although he alluded to it, this really didn't have much to do with the fact that he still hadn't given her a desk. She would like her own desk, but this was so much bigger. This was about her doubting and questioning her life choices. The very choices that led her right here - to a place where she has lost so much, and now, could very well lose it all - her life, and more importantly, the only true love she's ever known.
Scully was still stunned over Leonard Betts's admission that she had "something he needs". Obviously, the only thing he "needed" was cancer. She didn't need her brilliant mind to put two and two together.
Then, her nosebleed confirmed what Betts had led her to realize.
She'd been so careful, maybe she should have taken more risks. What if this cancer kills her, what will she have to show for it?
A promising career in medicine down the drain, and for what? An unrelenting chase for little green men? How is she supposed to tell Mulder? He already treats her like some fragile piece of glass, what will happen now? Will he even care, or will he be glad that she'll no longer be around to try to debunk all of his "out there" theories and ideas?
Maybe it's better this way. Maybe she wasn't supposed to fall in love with him. He makes it pretty obvious that he is annoyed by her, and her constant attempts to disprove everything.
Scully didn't understand her love for him. He's usually less than warm towards her, and he seems so oblivious to the chemistry and tension that she feels between them, but you can't really explain love.
She has loved him for so long, but she knows he doesn't feel the same. She could never tell him her true feelings, no matter how badly she needed him right now. She couldn't risk ruining the only real friendship she has.
Slowly, she trudged her way out of the office, basically sulking and feeling sorry for herself. She wished Mulder would just pick her up in his arms and make everything bad go away. He couldn't cure her cancer, but he could make the world a bit nicer while she is fighting it.
She made her way out to the parking garage and to her car. Her mind was all over the place, and before she realized it, she was parking in front of her apartment.
She made her way inside, set down her bags, slipped off her heels, and hung up her coat in the closet. She was hungry, but decided that she really needed a bath first. The hot water would help soothe her and wash away the ickyness of the last few days.
While the tub filled with water, she lit some candles, took her clothes off and put them in the hamper, and put on some soft soothing music.
Scully climbed in the tub, closed her eyes, and got lost in her thoughts. A few tears escaped her eyes as she began to reflect on her life, and what she had to show for it.
Somewhat startling her from her relaxing, yet cathartic trance, she heard a muffled noise that sounded like a knock on her front door.
Great, who the hell is knocking on my door at this time on a Friday night?, she thought to herself.
She went to get up from the tub when suddenly she heard the sound of floorboards creaking.
Someone was in her apartment walking around. She knew there was only one person it could be, and she didn't know whether to panic or celebrate.
She was about to tell him where she was when she heard him call out, "Scully, it's me, are you here?"
Mulder had come over and used his key to get in. He must have knocked a few times before she actually heard it, and instead of waiting he decided to let himself in so as not to disturb her.
She had no idea why he was there, but she quickly jumped out of the tub, wrapped her towel around herself, and called out to him, "Mulder, I'm in the tub, hold on just a minute and I'll be right there."
Mulder made his way over to Scully's apartment. He didn't know exactly what he was doing, or what he was going to say, but he had to say something.
He was feeling terrible for the way he treated her. He should have comforted her and told her it was ok. He knew that she felt stupid about the whole Jerse debacle.
He hadn't really thought about going straight to her apartment tonight, but right after she left he felt like he needed to see her.
He planned on going home first, maybe giving her a call, and seeing if she wanted him to bring something over for dinner. Instead, he stopped and picked up a pizza and some beer and then headed straight over to Scully's taking a gamble on whether or not she was even home.
Thankfully, when he pulled up outside her apartment, he saw that her car was there, so she at least had to be close by.
He grabbed the pizza and the 6 pack of beer that he bought, and made his way up to Scully's front door. He gently he knocked on the door, planning out what he would say to her when she answered.
He pictured the look of surprise that would probably show on her face - he was sure that he was the last person she really wanted to see right now. Was she going to be mad?
Maybe this was a bad idea, just showing up here after he was so cold to her earlier.
He knocked again, this time a little louder thinking maybe she hadn't heard his softer knock the first time.
He didn't hear any movement in her apartment, maybe she had gone for a run? He decided to use his key and let himself in, he would just wait for her to come back if she wasn't here right now.
It was quiet, but he could hear the faint sound of music, playing softly. That must be why she didn't hear him knock.
He began making his way into her apartment, he stopped at her table to set down the beer and pizza. He decided to announce himself so he didn't startle her.
"Scully, it's me, are you here?" Mulder called out, trying not to shout too loud, but still project loud enough so she might hear him over her music.
He heard a small ruckus in the bathroom that sounded like water splashing as she acknowledged him, "Mulder I'm in the tub, hold on just a minute and I'll be right there."
Oh no, she was in the tub, trying to relax, and he came over and interrupted her. He felt even worse than he had before.
He could only hope that his offering of dinner, drinks, and his heartfelt words would be enough for her to forgive him for his intrusion.
