Disclaimer: We don't own Naruto. If we did there would be a lot less Naruto and a lot more Uchiha.
Rating: R
Warning: Alternate timeline/Alternate universe. Sexual relationships between minors and adult with minor, casual sex, explicit description of sexual situations (these have been edited to fit standards), cursing, incest, emotional and psychological abuse and violence. Seriously, despite the fact that we have edited this story down a lot, children and those under the age of consent or the legal age for their country should not be reading this. This work contains mature themes, tread carefully.
Original Version: For those mature enough to view an uncensored version you may find it at the following address. www DOT livejournal DOT com SLASH users SLASH uchiha UNDERSCORE crack. Please fill in the appropriate description and take out the spaces. Look in the memory section under Moments. The chapters are listed in chronological order (and by date).
Summary: Obito is alive, Itachi hasn't massacred the clan, Kakashi does not have the Sharingan and Sasuke is still a brat. Welcome to the Moments Universe. It is scary and crack filled. Includes both yaoi and het.
Note: Obito is a very, very distant (practically not related) cousin of Sasuke. We didn't want to kill your brain too much, though we probably already have.
Etc: Yes, we are crazy and we like it that way.
Moments
By: Hana J and Ninjacat
Chapter 1: The Dinner Party
Sasuke had tried to sneak out of the house earlier and claim sanctuary at Naruto's one-person apartment but his brother Itachi had caught him by the scruff of the neck, telling him that if "he had to sit through dinner with the whole family then Sasuke was going to as well". Which would have been fine, really, if Itachi had not been missing for over an hour while he was accosted by Aunts and Uncles and his Father nursed a cup of sake describing loudly, for all to hear, of Itachi's greatest achievements. Not once was he mentioned because everyone knew that Sasuke had just turned out normal.
Once he was able to duck between his Uncle Yukimura's beefy arms and miss hitting his Aunt Seiko's breasts, which were swinging dangerously close to his nose, he slipped from the room, grabbing a glass of sake on the way out. He skulked around corners and stuck to the shadows. Hopefully, by now, everyone was to drunk to notice the nobody-Uchiha disappearing from the party.
Of course, the party had to be in some distant third-cousin-twice-removed Aunt's house so he had no idea where he was going. The soft sound of jazz music spilled around his ears like smoke from an incense, tangy and soothing, and the sounds of rambunctious talking faded as he shut the door. He leaned against the doorframe, someone's room, undoubtedly, but a room that was blissfully unoccupied except for the soft lull of jazz music.
He breathed a sigh of relief. "Fucking family reunions," he muttered at the ceiling.
"Yeah, they're not a whole lot of fun, are they?" Obito asked brightly, trying not to let sarcasm ooze from every word, sitting up on his bed. He stared hard at the invader into his bedroom, wondering where the hell he'd come from and why he hadn't been able to sense him. He should have been on alarm, but the house was filled to the brim with the Uchiha family, so it wasn't as though Obito had any real fear of being singled out and attacked while everyone else dined and drank and whatever in the halls outside.
He gave the younger Uchiha boy another look before relaxing ever so slightly. To say he recognized a member of his family actually meant a whole lot more when his family made up around one fifth of the city's population. He recognized this one. "Sasuke," he said, "Itachi's brother, right?"
Sasuke jumped, sloshing the drink onto his hand. "Shit," he cursed; looking up in alarm at the person whose room this no doubt belonged to. Immediately, the reference to Itachi sent up red flags. If he had to hear one more word about Itachi tonight he was going to slit someone's throat with the kunai he had been carrying in his back pocket.
"Someone actually knows my name," he quipped. "I'm impressed!"
It was said much too cheerfully to be recognized as anything less than insulting. "And you're Obito," Sasuke said slowly, recognition dawning. "Itachi doesn't like you much."
It had to have been Sasuke's best introduction of the night yet. Not only did he get to gleefully insult someone because his parents weren't watching and Itachi didn't approve of this Obito guy anyway, but he also was able to escape the party intact because it looked like this guy was hiding out too.
"I think I like you already," Sasuke said, downing the drink in one, hasty gulp, and wiping the excess liquid onto the back of his hand. Already, he was beginning to feel slightly better even though, personally, he thought sake was disgusting.
Obito took in the information with little more than a quirk of his dark eyebrows. Itachi didn't like him? Big surprise. He wondered why the boy hadn't had a little more common sense than to stumble into a private room without even trying to sense if there might be someone inside, family or no. His little cousin was just pretty damn lucky that his kunai holster was across the room, or he may just have one planted between his eyes at this point.
Obito sat up on his bed, twisting on the mattress till his legs hung off the side. He leaned forward onto his knees and gave Sasuke a curious smile. "Thanks," he laughed dryly, "I don't especially like him either. Coldest son of a bitch I've ever met, no offense to your mother. What's his issue with me?" The question was mostly rhetorical. He gave Sasuke another long look, dark eyes sweeping over the sake in his cousin's hand.
"Aren't you a little young for that?" he snorted.
Sasuke leaned against the door, laughing a little. "For your first question, I have no fucking clue and he really isn't all that bad, most of the time." He felt a little uncertain talking about his older brother. No one every spoke bad about him, the only person who ever got spoken badly about was Sasuke. He shrugged. "Everyone else seems particularly taken with him," he said, the words tasting bitter in his mouth but true nonetheless.
Sasuke waved the hand holding the glass, motioning towards the desk next to Obito's bed. "No, I don't think I'm too young. At least, they've never cared before, as long as I don't do anything to embarrass them I highly doubt anyone would even notice. Do you mind," he asked, raising an eyebrow and hovering his glass over the tabletop. "If I set this here and camped out in your room for the night, seeing as everyone normally ends up staying till morning anyway?"
"Yeah, sure," Obito replied without thinking, gesturing toward the floor thoughtlessly. "I wouldn't want to see you to dance around with a lampshade on your head. That's definitely not the image of the prodigal Uchiha son that your parents want to see."
He stood, yanking a pillow and a spare blanket from under his bed and walked them toward his smaller cousin, taking the glass of sake from him in the same motion. He noticed immediately that it was empty, and rolled his eyes at Sasuke. "I'm not going to be rolling your unconscious ass over in the middle of the night to throw up, am I? Not that I want you to die, but I do have a mission tomorrow morning. I want to get at least a little sleep tonight." He laughed, wondering if maybe it'd be more polite to offer Sasuke the bed while he slept on the floor. He was never very certain about such nuances of hospitality.
"Prodigal son?" Sasuke asked in disbelief. "Prodigal son my ass. If you want that I suggest you talk to Itachi, I'm nothing but below average compared to him."
Sasuke moved away from the door and took the pillow and blanket away from Obito's hands, throwing them on the floor and then practically falling on top of them. He stretched out with a long sigh, shirt riding up with the movement and he unconsciously tugged it back down as he closed his eyes.
"Trust me, I'm fine, it takes a lot more than that to get me shitfaced. No puking, passing out, or singing songs, what kind of guest would I be then? The kind you want to kick out and I do not want to have to go back out there and listen to anymore of Father's talk."
He turned his head, looking up at Obito through his bangs. "How long have you been hiding out in here anyway? I didn't see you at the party."
Obito glanced away from him for a moment, scratching the ridge of his nose before shrugging nonchalantly. He didn't look at Sasuke, but down at his feet before collapsing tiredly back onto his bed.
"Not hiding out," he corrected, holding up his index finger for emphasis. "Told you. I've got a mission in the morning. I've been trying to sleep. It's not easy when there's a house filled with drunk family members...not to mention the ones who steal into my room for…whatever reason." He added teasingly, not thinking about the fact that he too, had gotten a little tired of hearing the usual fantastic news from the Uchiha patriarchs about their heirs and whatever else they talked about these days. He was getting a little too old for petty jealousy and annoyance.
Sasuke set his hands behind his head and smirked. "Who says I don't have a good excuse for coming in here?"
He stretched his leg out, poking Obito in the side with his toes. "I thought that when you got older you needed less sleep anyway."
Instinctively, Sasuke brought his foot back quickly, not wanting to get any toes broken for touching someone he barely knew. His family had always been weird about touching, he couldn't remember the last time he had even hugged his brother.
Obito laughed brightly, swatting at Sasuke's foot without any actual force. "From the looks of it, you had no idea what this room was, much less that it was mine. Tell me your reason, I'm curious."
He didn't know Sasuke very well. He worked often with Itachi but they were far from friends, and he could not remember if he and Sasuke had actually spoken before this night, although he'd certainly seen him once or twice. He'd also heard of him, although more than often in a more proud, quiet tone than a boastful one. Prodigal son indeed.
"And hey," he added indignantly, "Are you calling me old?"
Sasuke felt a genuine smile curling along the edges of his mouth, it had been so long since any Uchiha had actually laughed with him…or even playfully swatted at him. For a moment, he felt younger than he really was, like a kid of seven running after his brother in the woods or splashing Itachi with water. It felt…nice, a warm feeling that spread from the pit of his stomach outwards to the tips of his fingers. And with that feeling came the mischievousness that had always bubbled up under the surface, something that always seemed to show up in sarcastic remarks meant to wound or used to hide his own disappointment at his failures.
"I don't know, they say that if you can't get it up anymore then that is when you know you are old." Sasuke cocked an eyebrow at Obito. "So…can you get it up?" He asked, deliberately avoiding the first question.
Obito sputtered brilliantly, aiming an awkward kick at his cousin from his bed but made no other move toward him. What the punk really deserved was a noogie or something equally embarrassing, but Obito dissolved too quickly into laughter to do much of anything.
"See," he said, catching his breath, hiding his eyes from the ceiling as he occasionally let loose one or two more barking laughs, "I could say that it's none of your goddamn business, but that seems more like the answer of someone who can't. I'm quite proud to tell you that I can."
Obito sat up to regard his younger cousin wryly. "So maybe I'm not that old. To you I must be, though. Fuckin' punk," he growled with no actual anger behind the heat.
Sasuke sat up, leaning back on his elbows and letting his eyes travel up and down Obito's form leisurely. "Nah, not too old. You're around Kakashi's age and everyone knows he can get it up, unless he is just reading that porn for the literature and not the pictures."
Sasuke fell back down with a huff, not even bothering to pull his shirt down as it rode up again. He scratched his side; the waistband of his pants was always a bit itchy. "Though, with Kakashi you can never tell. Naruto stole his book once, showed it to me, it wasn't really anything special. I think that man just gets his kicks from carrying it around."
Sasuke tilted his head back in order to look Obito in the eye, the smile now coming to his face easily. "So, where do you get your kicks from?"
"You are a little fuckin punk, aren't you?" Obito laughed out loud again, running a hand through his dark hair. He sat up on his bed to glare menacingly at his cousin, and when his gaze caught momentarily on the stretch of his pale stomach, Obito rolled his eyes quickly.
"Now that would be none of your goddamn business, Sasuke. It's a lot more than your innocent young ears are ready for. Call me when you're a big boy and we'll share." He snickered quietly to himself.
"And by the way, Kakashi's taste in books is really not up for discussion. Or whether or not he can get it up, because I really don't want to think about it," Obito groaned.
Sasuke smirked and rolled onto his side, sitting halfway up. "And if I make it my business?" He replied easily, liking the way conversation rolled back and forth between them like two old friends testing each other after a long leave of absence.
"Besides, I've already had sex so it's not like it's a big deal. So, you can hardly use the innocent excuse on me."
Sasuke moved to sit up fully. "I'll even help you out," Sasuke said, now grinning like a mouse with fresh cheese. He shot up from his position, using taijutsu that was fast enough to even surprise his brother, and slipped behind Obito. He made a mental note to thank Lee because it was after getting pummeled into the ground that he learned the jutsu well enough to sneak up on Itachi, something that would be forever amusing. Though, now, Itachi was able to easily counter it since he was expecting it but that one time of surprise on Itachi's face had been well worth the effort of exercising everyday.
He slipped his fingers beneath the waistband of Obito's pants, teasing, before he moved his hands underneath and up the older man's side, disregarding the shirt easily. He leaned his head against the back of Obito's neck, twisting slightly to mouth his ear.
"I'll tell you how I get my kicks," he breathed quietly, moving his hands to circle on the small of Obito's back and giving a hard, firm shove.
He laughed as Obito fell out of the bed and leaned over the side, amusement clear as he winked at Obito from his position on the bed. "I get my kicks from sleeping in other people's beds." He fluffed the pillows for emphasis and stretched out, pulling the covers up to his nose.
Obito hadn't seen someone move so quickly since...well, since the day Uchiha Itachi beat the shit out of him while training some years earlier. It was startling and infuriating, not to mention he was pretty goddamn sure he'd gotten violated in some way right before the little shit had shoved him off his own bed.
Obito stared, blank and horrified at his younger cousin for all of a split second before he was up and wrestling with Sasuke's smaller form on his far too small bed. He wasn't the quickest of the Uchiha, but he was far from the slowest, and he had more than just a few years on the boy. Within an instant he had Sasuke rolled over and pinned down with his very own arm, while he laughed quietly and smirked down at his cousin.
"You're quick," he admitted grudgingly, squeezing Sasuke's arm gently, "You are way too fucking quick. And you're also way too fucking cocky for your age." Obito leaned down, his lips ghosting around the shell of Sasuke's ear in a mimicry of what had been done to him only moments before. "Kids like you die every day, Sasuke," he smirked. "You live a little too fast. Don't pick on kids bigger than you are."
He wondered if he should tell the boy he was a lot more like his brother than he realized; he wondered if Sasuke would consider that a good thing, because Obito certainly wasn't sure that it was.
"I wasn't picking on you," Sasuke pointed out calmly from his position underneath Obito. "Okay, maybe a little…"
"But only because I knew I could get one up on you." He laughed, feeling amazingly at ease with this person. He felt...his age, even though he really wouldn't mind if Obito did more with his lips and less with the little boy crap.
Sasuke tried to move, quickly realized he was successfully pinned and gave up. He looked up, unable to hold in a smile. "You should've seen Itachi's face when I pulled that on him. It was priceless!" He laughed at the memory. "That is basically the only reason I'm really any good at it. That, and Lee beat the shit out of me and Father threw a fit. I had to listen for weeks about how I wasn't even worth the Uchiha name. Kind of got annoying so I practiced and then pulled it on Itachi and it shut Father up for a while at least."
He tugged on his arm and grunted in pain. "And who could be fucking cocky when they're always compared to Itachi anyway, asshole." He couldn't help but point that out, he hated being called cocky when most of the time he just felt worthless.
Obito grinned fondly down at the boy, chuckling softly at his words.
"Well. If it makes you feel any better, no one's surprised me that well since...well, your brother. When he was about twelve. Cheer up," he said sweetly. "Maybe you're not as good, but don't go thinking you're below average, punk."
He rolled his eyes again, giving Sasuke's arm another quick squeeze, reaffirming his grip. "But I'm sure you hear that kind of shit all the time, too. Useless." He wasn't exactly very high up on the Uchiha rung, he was a part of Anbu but of a particular branch that may very well not have existed at all for the good it seemed to be doing. He was done being jealous of kids just like this one.
Sasuke was making him feel a lot younger very suddenly than he was prepared for. He paused, glancing down at his cousin still pinned tight beneath him. He swallowed hard. "Um. Am I hurting you?" He didn't let go. He waited.
Sasuke rolled his eyes and twisted a bit, trying to get more comfortable even though it was next to impossible. "Hey, it's not everyday I get complimented on how I don't suck ass in the ninja department, pinned to a bed by a guy I wouldn't mind getting fucked by and not have to sit through a dinner party. So, mild discomfort isn't really a problem."
If Sasuke didn't know better, he would almost say Naruto's speak-before-you-think attitude was starting to rub off on him.
Obito laughed brashly, snorting loudly and giving Sasuke's arm a final squeeze before releasing it. He didn't get up or move from behind the boy; it didn't even occur to him. A lot of things didn't occur to him...for instance, that Sasuke may not be joking.
However, Obito had already decided that his cousin must be joking because ... he just had to be. And that was fine, joking didn't hurt. He could play along. He could ignore the furious flop of his stomach jumping at Sasuke's words.
"What, you only 'wouldn't mind'?" he smirked, trying to sound offended. "I'm hurt."
"You would be if I topped," Sasuke quipped. "If you aren't used to it, that is. Though, I can easily change that 'wouldn't mind' to a 'please do' if you prefer."
He relaxed a little bit more, flexing his arm to get the feeling back into. "You have a nice grip."
Sasuke turned his head sideways so he could look at Obito out of the corner of his eye. "Guess you're not into some of the more hardcore stuff, eh? Otherwise, you wouldn't have let go."
He reached around, the angle a little bit painful but nothing he couldn't manage and hooked his fingers around Obito's belt loop, tugging playfully. "Really, Obito-san, you might want to be more careful. I might just end up restraining you."
Sasuke hooked his ankle around Obito's foot, sliding his toes up and down his calf teasingly. In one swift movement he yanked hard on Obito's pants, shifting Obito's balance off and switched their positions so that he was straddling the older man's waist. He leaned down, nipping lightly at Obito's neck. "Hmm…you shouldn't joke. I might get the wrong idea," he said softly, bracing himself on Obito's chest.
Obito hissed sharply as Sasuke's weight hit his chest, his protest knocked out of him as clearly and cleanly as the breath from his lungs. It was suddenly very painfully obvious that Sasuke hadn't been kidding, and Obito bit hard on his bottom lip in self-loathing. He'd really walked right into this.
It was also really ridiculous that the one thing he thought over and over again was just how quickly Sasuke could move when he wanted to. That just plain wasn't fucking fair. The boy would be a better ninja than him within a year or two at least. He decided he did not want to be pushed around by a boy ten years younger than he was. "I think you do have the wrong idea," he whispered. This shouldn't be happening-
Obito threw his own weight, and thusly Sasuke along with him, until his younger cousin was once again pinned to his mattress and this time Obito was determined that he would stay put. He glared down at the younger boy darkly, daring him to try and pull that shit again before his gaze softened. This wasn't good. Sasuke felt nice, wiry muscle and warm skin under his hands, and that was most definitely not a good thing.
"You're too young for this," he informed his cousin quietly.
Sasuke glared at him and leaned forward until their noses were touching and their mouths brushing. "Look, I told you its fine. Stop making my decisions for me. I think I would know if I was too young."
He rolled his hips, watching Obito's reaction darkly. "Stop making up excuses, you're not my first so it isn't like your corrupting me or some stupid shit like that. I want you to fuck me and if you don't want to then fine, I get it. If that's the case then," he leaned forward and kissed him, biting Obito's lower lip gently. "Let go."
Instinctively, Obito bit Sasuke back without thinking. He tasted a little like sake and he reluctantly gave in to the urge to kiss him shakily. He didn't let go. He didn't want to. Not really, because Sasuke felt nice and strong and was a little more good looking than anyone had a right to be.
Obito absolutely refused to think about the length of time it had been since he'd last had sex because that was really not an acceptable reason for thinking it'd be perfectly fine to fuck his little cousin. There really wasn't one he could think of; other than Sasuke seemed to want it and that was almost amusing. He wasn't young enough or attractive enough to deserve this kind of thing. But oh well. He laughed a little, hands sliding down to Sasuke's sides and releasing him easily from the pin. He settled carefully between the younger man's legs and grinned sheepishly. "No."
Sasuke felt the tension ease out of him with that statement and he kissed Obito back, hard. The moment Obito stopped restricting him he slipped his hands around Obito's back, slipping his hands underneath the older man's pants to get a firm grip on his ass and yanking him up hard, grinding into him in an imitation of sex.
"Good," he replied a bit breathless, fumbling with Obito's shirt as he tried to tug it off and unable to get around the whole arm deal since Obito was clearly taller than him and the angle was awkward. He laughed, biting Obito's neck and mouthing a trail up to his ear, tugging on his earlobe gently with his teeth. For some reason, biting him reminded him of wrestling. He didn't know why, but he always enjoyed fighting and even taking it to other extremes had always been just as exciting. It felt more like two puppies play fighting than any real fight for dominance and Sasuke felt relief at the fact that Obito was not expecting anything from him, was in fact probably expecting Sasuke to follow his lead. Not that he ever followed anyone's lead, he thought as his hands left the task of pulling off Obito's shirt – it was a hopeless endeavor – and moved onto his pants.
Obito laughed briefly at Sasuke's fumbling hands, and playfully batted them away. He took a moment to sit up and roll his eyes at the younger boy before yanking his dark shirt over his head. He glanced over at the lamp at his bedside and debated over going to turn it off before deciding it was too far away and not worth the trip. "Better now?" he snorted, dropping back down to bite at the soft skin of Sasuke's neck.
His hands slid under Sasuke's shirt and swept across his chest curiously, wondering how best to get a reaction out of the intense kid. Obito pushed his shirt up to kiss the flat of Sasuke's stomach, shutting his eyes as his hand slid effortlessly past the waistband of his cousin's pants. "Certainly better than going to the dinner party, yeah?" he asked conversationally, biting Sasuke again, "Just tell me when you're done having some old guy molest you." He looked up to wink at his cousin teasingly.
Sasuke looked down at Obito and hooked his ankle around Obito's leg, spreading his thighs to give him better access.
He smirked, yanking on Obito's hair briefly with his hand before running his fingers through it. "You'll know when I'm done, yeah? And I thought we went over this age thing, unless, of course," Sasuke looked down at him curiously, the picture of innocence. "You're having trouble."
"No trouble at all." Obito growled softly, scowling at the younger boy. He didn't pause or hesitate, he took the opportunity created by Sasuke himself and wrapped his hand unceremoniously around Sasuke's cock and squeezed. He kissed the younger man's stomach softly, running lips up to his chest and finding the path obstructed by his cousin's shirt. Annoyed, he tugged at it and awkwardly managed to get it over Sasuke's head, even if it ruffled his hair badly in the process. Obito grinned. This was fun.
And Sasuke proved himself to be a lot more fun than Obito had anticipated. Obito couldn't remember the last time he had someone pursue him so aggressively, even if it was only for the sex. Obito certainly didn't mind the attention. He leaned back, rolling over to relax on his back and looked at Sasuke. A kid.
Sasuke snickered and rubbed his forehead against Obito's neck, stretching languidly. He grimaced, running a hand over his stomach. "You wouldn't happen to have a towel, would you?"
He exhaled loudly, leaning forward to give Obito a messy kiss, smirking as he did so.
"Now aren't you glad you didn't keep up with that little kid bullshit?"
"You are just a little kid," Obito smirked at him tiredly, sitting up with a slight wince, and leaning back to peer around his room for a towel like he'd been asked for. He ruffled Sasuke's hair playfully. He wondered when it would hit him that he'd just slept with one of his young cousins, the brother of a man he worked with almost daily.
Obito wondered just what kind of damage might occur to him if Itachi were to find out about this. It was an interesting thought. He almost laughed, reaching to the foot of his bed for the clean laundry he had stacked there. He tossed Sasuke one of his shirts with a sheepish shrug. "It's all I've got, sorry." He said quietly, rubbing the back of his neck. "Are you still crashing here? Your parents might be looking for you." He twitched inwardly at the words. "You're welcome to, though."
Sasuke slipped the shirt on, fingering the hem before pulling it down. It fell to mid-thigh, the shirt obviously a bit big and gaping at the neck. He shifted, wincing a bit at the sudden movement and the spike of pain but shrugged it off, grabbing the closest pillow and using it as a headrest. He turned onto his side, moving away from the wet sheets and towards a cleaner part of the bed.
"Yeah, I'd rather stay here for the night. My parents won't notice anyway."
Sasuke turned around, grin coming easily after a bout of good sex. "Want to cuddle?" he asked sarcastically, pulling the covers over his legs as he spoke.
Obito laughed, flopping down on his mattress beside his smaller cousin. The sheets were cooler and dry against his skin and he sighed happily at the contact, sneaking under his blankets and glancing at Sasuke out of the corner of his eye. He smirked and draped his arm over Sasuke's stomach and drew him gently closer.
"Sounds good. Don't move so much. If you kick me off like earlier you're in a hell of a lot of trouble, punk. I hold grudges." Obito promised quietly, pressing his lips against Sasuke's neck, licked it softly. He wondered what would happen in the morning. He shut his eyes and sighed, trying to enjoy the last lingering warmth in the memory of Sasuke around him.
Sasuke tensed as Obito's arms wound around him, not actually expecting Obito to take him up on the offer. He forced himself to relax, enjoying the warmth of someone next to him, the breathing against his neck rhythmic and lulling. He closed his eyes and fell asleep easily, the taste of companionship slipping around him like a snake winding around his heart and tightening its coils.
