1108 Gough St. Apt. 6
San Francisco, California 94109
June 8, 1975
DeeAnn,
I miss you so much, DeeAnn. I'm writing this letter to tell you that I am sorry. I can't believe that it has been 15 years since we've seen each other. I was so embarrassed when Walter kicked you out. I am so sorry for that, DeeAnn. I am also sorry I have failed to reach out sooner but I didn't want to risk it until I knew it was safe.
It's been 10 years since Jane and I moved to Hawaii. It's beautiful here but somehow I can't ever seem to enjoy it. Actually, I can't ever seem to make it outside most days. Everyday I spend wishing I had the courage to speak up about my art earlier, but it's too late now. I think about what life Jane and I would have together instead of having to run away to Hawaii and never look back. I feel guilty for making Jane give up everything back home. It's a completely different life here. It's been rough, but I'm handling it. Jane thinks I have a drinking problem but it was just that one time that that happened. Jane came home early one day. I guess I had a little too much to drink that day because when she came home she found me on the bathroom floor. I was confused and didn't know where I was, according to Jane. I woke up in the hospital later where they told me I had alcohol poisoning. I guess maybe I should avoid day drinking. Or drinking all together. But I could stop if I wanted to. It's not a problem or anything. I had to stay in the hospital for a couple days after that…that was pretty rough. I guess maybe because I couldn't have a drink. When I was in the hospital, my mom came in and told me she's proud of me and to stay strong. That was strange because my mom's been dead since I was 15. It was nice to see her again though.
I know you're probably wondering why I am writing you this letter. There's something I have wanted to tell you for some time now. The paintings, the Big Eyes, they are mine. Every single one. I painted them all. Walter convinced me that people wouldn't buy them if they knew a woman had painted them, so, I went along with it. By the time I realized I had made a mistake, it was too late. We were in too deep. I knew if I confessed, we would be facing forgery charges. Walter said we would have to give it all back. That's why I have to ask you not to tell anyone. I hope that's okay.
I know you're also probably wondering about Walter and, honestly, sometimes I do too. You probably know more than I do. He tried to blackmail me into sending him more paintings, but I wouldn't do it. Since he never produced anymore paintings, I guess he's just a washed up "artist" now. It makes me angry thinking about how easily he let what I love slip away. He treated it like it didn't matter in itself, only the money it brought in. I hate him every day for that.
My art is pretty big here in Hawaii. Well, not the Big Eyes, of course. I have a new style now since Walter took that. I love this too, though. The paintings get us by. Jane is in college now! Can you believe that? She's majoring in psychology at the University of Hawaii. I am so proud of her. She's such a beautiful, strong young woman. Stronger than I was. She has such a great life ahead of her.
Do you ever wish you could take back time, DeeAnn? I'm sure you do. Everyone does, right? I wish I could take back time for Jane. I was such an absent mother when she was young. When Walter started claiming my paintings, I started lying to Jane about it. I never felt okay with that but she was just a child. Walter said she couldn't be trusted with such a big secret. Jane knew, though. She knew the whole time. That made me feel even worse about the lies. When Walter started selling my paintings, Jane recognized some of them. Walter assured her that she remembered it wrong and that he had painted them. Especially when she got older, I think she definitely knew what I was doing every time I said I had to go do some work. How could she not? What else would I be doing? I wish I could give her back her childhood and make it something she could look back on and smile instead of feeling confused and sad.
I hope this letter gets to you safely. I don't want Walter to know where I am. The night I found out he hadn't painted the scenery, everything went downhill. He tried to kill Jane and I. That's when I knew I had to leave. I didn't want to put Jane through that again, but I couldn't risk her life. We were so scared. I knew Jane would love Hawaii, so that's where we went. I hope you're not mad at me, DeeAnn. I really do wish things could be different. Maybe you could come visit me sometime. I could use a little company now that Jane is away most of the time.
I hope you are doing well, DeeAnn. I hope you're happy and that you found someone you love. Having someone you love is the most important thing in life. That's why I am so lucky to have Jane. I have never been too good at picking men. I hope you have found someone, and hope Jane does too someday. As for me, I think I am better off alone. I have my painting and my Jane and my little paint store I opened. It's not much, but it makes me happy. I understand if you don't write back, but I really hope you do. I wish you the best, DeeAnn.
All my love,
Margaret
1179 Palahia Street
Kapolei, HI 96707
June 28, 1975
Margaret,
It is so great to hear from you! I think about you a lot and you should know that I'm not angry with you. I'm glad Jane is happy and going to school. She was always such a smart girl. I have some news for you, Margaret. It's about Walter. He died. It's been almost 3 years now. I'm very sorry that you didn't find out sooner, but no one had any idea where you ran off to. Walter's fame diminished after you left, obviously. That's why there wasn't much publicity about his death. I'm not surprised the news didn't make it to Hawaii. I always had some suspicion about him. He never seemed like the creative type. Except in his lies, that is. I'm glad you and Jane got out when you could. This is so great, Margaret! Now you can come back to California. I've missed you dearly. I wish we could've kept in touch after you left but I understand why it had to be the way it was. I hope to hear from you again soon. If you need anything, anything at all, please don't hesitate to call me. My number is (917) 284-9943.
Love,
DeeAnn
