Snowboard Kids TV 911

Disclaimer: I don't own Snowboard Kids Plus!

Author's Note: Only 2 Snowboard Kids and one of their sisters are in
this exciting yet hilarious story!

Jam ran into the corridor of the Snowboard Kids mansion, slipping on
his socks. He held a piece of paper in his hand, and he grabbed the
edge of the counter to stop himself.

" Guys! We just got a phone call from the KayArt TV Company! They're
getting our new TV to us today!"

Slash got up excitedly, spilling his spaghetti all over his front. He
sighed in defeat.

" What time?" he asked as he cleaned himself up.

" In like...an hour!"

" Alright! Couch potato city, here we come!"

" What's this about potatoes?" Brittany asked as she walked in. It was
a well known fact that Brittany was a potato chip-holic.

" Not CHIPS, Brittany! Couch potatoes! We're getting our new TV today!"

" Oh?" she asked with little interest. " And what TV is that?"

" The Soul-Taker 3000!" Jam gloated, relishing in the title. " The
first of it's kind from the KayArt Television Company! Pretty neat,
huh?" Brittany rolled her eyes.

" Wouldn't Snow Town cable suffice?"

Slash gawked. " Are you kidding, Brittany? This TV is the hottest thing
on the market! Its got 1000 channels! Do you even know why they CALL
it The Soul-Taker??"

She shook her head, raising her eye brows. " Nope. Why?"

He opened his mouth to speak, then stopped, closing his mouth.

" I, uh...don't know. But I'll be sure to ask the manufacturer."

" Whatever." Brittany walked from the room, grabbing a bag of chips.
" Call me when you're done playing with it. I'd like to watch the
Anime station."

Jam made a face and asked Slash, falteringly, " The...Anime station?"

Slash shrugged in disgust. " That girl must have a thing for one of
the guys on a anime TV show." They both shuddered in revulsion.

The doorbell rang, and the snowboarders looked at each other. " It's
here!" they screamed at once, racing each other to the door.


" This... is good." Slash was seated on the left hand side of the
couch, with a six pack of Root Beer and two bowls of popcorn. He
looked up and snapped his fingers in thought. "No, 'good' isn't the
right word. Hmm..."

" This is better than good. It's sweet." Jam was seated on the right
hand side of the couch, with a six pack of Orange soda, one bowl of
popcorn and a bag of Tootsie Rolls.

They both looked at the remote control, then at each other. They jumped
for it at the same time, fighting and arguing.

" I ordered it!"

" I was the one who found the advertisement!"

" I paid the delivery man!"

" Why don't you flip for it?" suggested Brittany. They looked at her
in surprise.

" Why are you here? I thought you didn't want to watch it yet."

" I'm here for the chips, and the entertainment of watching you two.
Why don't you flip for it?"

" Ok," they grumbled as Slash found a coin. He called heads, Jam called
tails, and the coin landed on its side.

They watched the coin for ten minutes, waiting for something to happen.
Brittany shrugged and jumped down from the table she was sitting on.
The coin vibrated and fell, revealing Slash as the winner.

The triumphant leader of the Snowboard Kids planted himself back on
the couch, flipping channels. There were A LOT of stations here,
people! Twenty cooking channels, fifteen nature related ones, seventy
HBO's, anything and everything you could think of. Jam was enjoying
himself as well, but kept glancing nervously at the remote, frowning.

" Don't you think your fifteen minutes is up yet?"

Slash checked his watch nonchalantly. " Mmm...nope. Still got thirty
seconds."

Jam eyed him testily, biting his lip. Then he jumped on his friend.

" I can't take it anymore!! Give it to me!"

" Come on, buddy! Just...21 more seconds...aaggh! Ow! No biting!"

They wrestled and fought and fumbled with the control. The remote
itself was rather large, it was a foot long and six inches wide. It
fell on the floor loudly, and the boy snowboarders fell off the couch
in pursuit of it. They both had a grip on the immense toy, and buttons
were pushed in the process. One of the buttons, an odd black one with
no symbol, was pressed by accident. A strange, low, humming noise was
heard, and the two boy snowboarder disappeared without a trace.


Jam looked around cautiously, covering his ears. There was a loud,
indescribable noise, and he couldn't see past his own hand.

" Slash?" he shouted.

" Yeah?" his friend came into view, squinting his eyes, unable to see.

" Where the heck are we???"

" How should I know?" he yelled back. Jam walked blindly through the
mess, and bumped into something hard.

" What the..." He placed his hands in front of him. It was as if there
was a clear wall in front of him, and he could barely make out a room
on the other side. The room looked vaguely familiar.

" Uh, Slash?" he shouted. His friend found him.

" What up?" Jam pointed, and Slash stared.

" Isn't that...no, it couldn't be..." the two boy snowboarders watched
through the invisible wall in horror to see Brittany Kuehnemund walk
into the room, looking around curiously.

" That...that's our living room!" cried Slash. They stared at each
other, terrified.

" We're stuck in the TV!!"


" Ok, let's get this straight," began Slash, trying to make himself
heard over the noise. " We ordered the TV, we watched the TV, we
fought over the TV, and now we're the TV??"

" So this is what snow is like," commented Jam, looking around at the
empty space except for the black and white fuzz that surrounded them.

" Do you think Brittany can hear us?"

" Let's try," said Jam. After several grueling minutes of jumping and
shouting and hopping and singing and dancing...oh, wait. Never mind.

" She can't hear us," Slash panted. Brittany flopped onto the couch,
picking up the remote.

" Oh, well, my turn." she gave a little shrug and pushed a button. The
snow on the TV went away, and Brittany eventually figured out how to
change channels.

" Ooh, infomercials! I can't resist these," she said. The lady on the
TV was smiling, advertising for some glowing light. Brittany watched
with much interest, memorizing the number on the bottom of the screen.
She looked up, and by a split second missed Jam testing the light.

" She didn't see us!" whined Slash.

" These things are sweet!"

" Jam! We have to get her to stop changing channels! Do you have any
idea where we could end up?"

The younger snowboarder shrugged, not seeming to care. Slash slapped
him upside the head.

" Jam! We could end up on a anime TV show!"

" Eep." Jam dropped the toy, running with Slash away from the TV
commercial. They ran to the front of the screen, pounding on the glass
just as Brittany tilted her head back to chug some orange soda.

" Brittany! Brittany, can you hear us?" She looked down and quickly
changed the channel.

"Oh, yeah! This is Croc Week on Animal Planet!" Brittany munched on
potato chips happily, watching Steve Erwin and his antics. She didn't
notice her older brother and his friend, looking on with interest
behind the umbrage.

" Hey, this doesn't seem that bad," commented Slash.

" Now, this gorgeous specimen," Steve began, hushed, in pure Aussie
accent. " Is the great Australian crocodile! It has been known, to
pull children off the beach...but I'm gonna wrassle him!!"

Steve advanced on the crocodile, but the reptile didn't advance on
him. Instead, he bypassed the nature host and went straight for the
bushes...where Slash and Jam were hiding.

" AAAHHH!!!!" The two ran in view of the screen, screaming at the top
of their lungs. Brittany laughed with her mouth full.

" Hat's sho funny! He gosh affer the chiviliansh!" The snowboarder were
running too fast for her to get a good look.

Slash and Jam were backed into a corner of trees, trying to climb onto
each other.

" No more! No more! Make it stop!"

" Poor Steve. The crocs don't love him." Brittany shook her head,
suddenly growing serious and changed the channel again.

Slash and Jam looked around them, now aware that they were out of
danger. They jumped out each other's arms quickly, brushing themselves
off and looking away.

" Where are we, anyway?" They looked to their right and saw three
girls, two fighting over some clothing and one of them simply standing.

" This is my sweater, Monica!"

"No, you just borrowed it from me for the last, like, year, Rachel!"

"Guys, guys," another blonde cut in. " Can't you just, like, share it
or something?"

Slash and Jam exchanged terrified glances. They looked at the door as
two guys walked in. Chandler and Joey?!?

" Not 'Friends'!" The snowboarders shouted. " Anything but that!"

" Who are you?" asked Rachel, as everyone started to notice the two
boy Snowboard Kids presence. Brittany wasn't in the living room, she
left to get more chips.

" What are you doing in our apartment?" demanded Joey.

" And what are you doing tonight?" asked Monica, letting go of the
sweater and walking to Jam, sliding her hands up his chest and around
his neck. He smiled broadly, pushing his shoulders back.

" Not much baby. What about you...ow!" Slash grabbed his ear and
dragged him to the front of the screen. " Ow, ow, owie.."

" Brittany?!?! Are you out there??"

" Get out of here!" yelled Chandler, pushing the two out of the door.
Brittany flopped back on the couch with a new bag of Utz, and changed
the channel again.

" Hmm, I've never seen this show before," Jam and Slash sat in a dark
theatre, with another man and two robots. There was some weird sci-fi
movie they were watching, and the last three kept making fun of it.

" What is this show anyway?" asked Slash.

" Good Lord, don't ever mention 'Whose line is it anyway'!" exclaimed
Crow. Slash punched him in the face angrily.

" I never said that!"

" This is MST3K, Slash. Remember? All they do is riff old movies, all
the time."

Jam had spoken too quickly for his older snowboarder friend. " MS...P,
D...J?"

" Hukd on funikz wurkd fer mee!" said Crow.

" Shut up!" Slash punched him again, and Mike started shouting.

" Hey! We're TRYING to smack these stupid movies on our lost-in-space
ship! So sod off and stop beating my dorky robots!"

" Why don't you make me?" growled Slash, short on patience with this
entire situation.

" Who's a dork?!" demanded Tom. Jam cringed and slid down lower in his
seat, pulling his short collar around his face.

Brittany frowned as the man between the robots rolled up his sleeve
and punched another guy. Pretty soon it was pandemonium; Nuts and
bolts and bits of cloth were flying everywhere, and litanies were
exchanged. The film eventually stopped in a flash of white and black.
" Stupid..." said Brittany. " And I always thought there were only
three of those guys..."

Slash looked up, trying to free himself from Mike's chokehold. " No,
no, no, Brittany! Wait..." But Slash was too late, and the channel was
changed.

" Yeah, now this is my kind of show." Brittany licked the salt off her
fingers while she watched... ' Digimon: Digital Monsters! And it's
Season 3!"

" No! Not the Anime station!" groaned Slash.

" Now she's gone too far!" Jam stormed past Takato and Rika just as
they were getting their D-Powers out. " Put your senses back on!" he
screamed, pointing at Rika. " You don't want the kids to see all that
fighting!"

" Dumbnut," Rika muttered angrily as she put away her D-Power. Jam
walked to the front of the screen and shouted.

" Brittany! If you don't look at the TV right now, I'll take away all
your potato chips and,...and give them all to Serena!!" Brittany
glanced up from her soda suddenly, looking around.

" Who said that?"

" Here! Over here! The TV!"

" Oh, cool," she said. " A talking TV!"

" What's in the TV, Brittany?? In the TV!" Brittany looked and stared
with awe.

" Dude...How'd you guys get in there?"

" How should I know?" asked Slash. " Just please, before we do continue
with anything else, change the channel!!"

" Ok, ok, fine. You can have YOUR time with the TV, and Brittany can't.
Well, that's fiiiine with me, buddy." Brittany changed the channel
to VH1, and the boy snowboarders breathed a sigh of relief knowing
that they were safe as Dave Matthews was singing.

" Brittany, we need you to get us out!" Slash pleaded.

" How? I don't know the first thing about electronics!"

" Go check the instruction book!"

" No wonder they call it the Soul-Taker," mumbled Brittany as she left.

" And hurry!" Jam yelled after he, glancing at Dave warily. " Why does
he have to be singing 'I Did It'?" he asked, avoiding Boyd dressed in
purple feathers.

" Hey, stuff it, bro. I like this song...agh!" He ran for cover when a
band member in red ripped off Dave's leg and beat him with it.

Brittany returned with the instruction booklet and checked trouble
shooting.

" Ok...ok....oh! Here it is. 'In the unlikely event that someone
should push the black button, resulting in their appearance in the
television set, call our hotline number and we'll send you a rescue
kit in three weeks."

" Three weeks?!?!" screeched Jam. " I want out NOW!"

" Hey, this song is kind of catchy...now," mentioned Slash, watching
the music video.

" Hey, I got a bright idea," mimicked Brittany in a sing song voice.
She picked up the immense remote control and hurled it at the TV with
all her might.

" Noooo!" screamed the snowboarders as plugs and buttons exploded all
around them...

Slash got up from the floor, achy all over. He surveyed the damage
sadly as Jam removed himself from the mess. Glass was there and there,
well, everywhere, and their TV was in shambles. The remote control
stuck out from the screen at an odd angle, and now and then a spark
would fly from the tangle of wires. Brittany slowly rose from her
hiding place behind the couch.

" What a waste of good television," said Jam sadly.

" What a waste of money," sighed Slash.

" What a waste of space," shrugged Brittany as she picked up the ten
empty bags of chips and left.

**Yes, just another short silly story from the brain of ME! I won't
ask you to review, I know you guys hate begging. Just do your duty!
^_^ Hope I didn't offend anyone with the smacking of Infomercials,
(which I like) Croc Hunter, (which I like to watch) " Friends", (eh...
no comment) Digimon: Digital Monster Season 3, (which I also like) or
Dave Matthews Band (with whom I greatly favor!) It was all in good
fun, don't set me afire! Mention it to your friend sometime, heck,
call your brother over the phone and tell him what a dumbnut he is!**