One day Milo was walking down the street when he ran into Alexander. "Watch where you're going, you angel-sodomized Nancy!" Milo said.

"Sorry," Zan said. "Here, have a Bible. It'll make you feel better."

"Bibles are stupid," Milo said, but he took it anyway. That night he was feeling bored. He had read all the other books in his apartment, so he thought he might as well read the Bible. Once he started, he couldn't put it down. He read all through the night, and the next day as well. By the end, he was in tears! He had never known that Jesus had died for him. His whole life seemed so empty now. He now knew what he had to do.

Milo got down on his knees. "Lord Jesus, I am a sinner and need forgiveness. I renounce my sins and acknowledge you as my lord and savior." As Milo finished the prayer, he could feel a light shining down from the heavens. "I feel so clean," he said. "The stains of my past are gone."

Milo stepped outside to get a morning Latte. He smiled as he walked down the sidewalk and thanked God for making the beautiful sunshine. He smiled at the young woman who was trying to make eyes at him and prayed: "Dear Heavenly Father, bless that child, and forgive her for her sin of wearing a miniskirt to tempt the lusts of men. May she one day learn to walk in your modest grace, Amen."

He ordered his coffee and sat down to drink it when someone next to him said, "Oh hell, what are you doing here?"

Milo turned to the voice. "Hello Star," he said. "Funny meeting you here."

"You're a creepy stalker and a jerk and I hate you," Star said. "Leave me alone.

Milo said, "Star, I want to apologize. I was very mean to you when we were together. I realize now that I was wrong, and that you shouldn't measure love by how much you can hurt somebody."

Star asked, "Why are you so different?"

"It's because I found Jesus."

"Wow," Star said. "Can I find him too?"

"Yes, just pray with me."

After they prayed, Star said, "I feel so much better! Let's have sex to celebrate."

But Milo said, "No Star, being gay is wrong. God loves us because we are his children, but only if we are children who refrain from homosexuality. Let's be best friends instead."

"You're right," Star said. "Let's pray: Dear Lord, we are very sorry for all the gay sinning we did. Please help us not be gay and find some nice girlfriends."

Just then two pretty girls walked up to them. The first one had big green eyes and long blond hair. She was wearing a t-shirt that said "Born to Pray" on it. The other girl had black hair and brown eyes, and was wearing a t-shirt that said "Join Me For Happy Hour – every Sunday morning". "Hi," the first girl said. "We saw that you were praying – can we pray with you?"

"Yes," Star said. "What are your names?"

"I'm Ashely Sara, and this is my friend, Jeanne. We were going to pray that we find modest but pretty prom dresses."

"Well then we can all pray together," Milo said. "And then we'll go shopping with you. And then I want to adopt a kitten. A nice kitten this time – not an angry alley cat with a taste for pigeon like the one I brought home last month."

"I want a kitten too," said Star.

Two months later, Milo got married to Ashely Sara, and Star married Jeanne, they had a double wedding, so Zan could be best man for both of them. They all lived happily ever after.