I hate that feeling. The feeling where you know your other is cheating. For months I tried to ignore it, but its eating at me. Slowly ripping me apart, and the way he looks at me. Its like he sees right though me; as if I'm not even there. He is never home; when he is home, we never talk. With him it's just sex, sex, and sex. I love it and all, but afterwards there is nothing. I'm hollow afterwards. During the sex, I feel so much; that's when I tell myself that he loves me. Even though I know it's a lie, I can't help myself from doing it.
Follow you close; four steps behind
Part of me knew all of this time
pushed it down deep, kept it so small
to help me keep these fragile rules
He said he was going to work, and for some reason I was sick of it all. I knew that every word coming out of his mouth was a lie. Once he left I decided to take things into my own hands; I slipped out of the apartment we shared and followed him. That's when I saw it; he met up with another guy. I told my self that it may be just a friend, that was until I saw them kissing. Tears started to roll down my cheeks. Then I saw my best friend, Sakura. She went over to them and started talking. I smiled thinking she would yell at Sasuke or something for me, but when they kissed again she just acted like it was alright. As if he was not cheating, like she never knew that I was with him. I turned around and started to run. I guess that's when Sakura looked up and she saw as I ran. I didn't care
From crashing down around my feet
don't make a sound, just let you be
Lost in her face, can't turn away
this final blow helps me let go
I was half way down the street when she came up behind me and pushed me to the ground. I started to scream.
"Get the fuck off me you lien piece of scum." I yelled. I didn't want to see her pink haired stupid face.
"Naruto please talk to me. I'm sorry ok" she said with tears going down her own face.
"How could you do this to me? You pretended that everything was just fine, when you knew the truth." I yelled right back. I hated how she could act like it never happened.
"I wanted to tell you."
"Then why didn't you? I thought you were my best friend."
"Naruto I… I can't tell you. Just know that you are always a best friend in my eyes. You have every right to hate me." I looked at her and I could tell that she wasn't lien. I gowned at defeat.
"Sakura you know I cant stay mad at you."
"I know "she said with a smile. "Let's go out tonight you deserve it. "
"What about..." I stop talking about him. How could I think of that ass hole at a time like this? He cheated on me. Why should I give a rat's ass about him?
"It's ok, but you deserve a time out. Want to go to a party? I promise you will have a good time." She said with a smile.
"Ok," so it was easy as that. She was my best friend and I believed any thing she said and I trusted her with my heart and sole. We left for the place and went to that party. I noticed that everyone was there now why wasn't I ever invited. That's when Kiba came out of no where and jumped me.
"I'm so glad that you can make it. Sasuke always says that you're too busy to come and that you don't 'do' parties."
"Really now" I said with a smile. "Is he here?"
"Yea back room," Kiba said.
Don't stop now, I need this to hurt
Burn it into my mind
and no more second guessing anymore
this is how it ends
I looked over at Sakura and she just grinned one of her evil trouble making grins. It's like she read my mind. We both headed to the room that Kiba pointed out. She gave me a look and said, "Are you sure that you want to see this?"
"I've never been more sure."
She nodded to me, and she blocked off the hall way for me so I could deal with this myself. I took a breath and opened the door. There I saw what I prayed I wouldn't. Sasuke was in the middle of fucking this guy. They were all into it, and all I could do was stare at them. They didn't even notice the door opening.
So don't stop now, get my head on straight
And if seeing this is what it takes
please don't stop it now
this will be the last time
All I could do was stare, and let the tears fall down. It was conferred to me the second I opened the door. How could he do something like this to me? I remember a time where we lived for each other. He would stay home just to be with me. Why would he do this? Am I not enough for him? Do I not satisfy him? I fell to the ground looking at them. They were so lost into their passion that they still didn't notice me, even while sobs started to come out of me.
This darkened street you go to hide
Illuminates you are not mine
These days run cold, my body numb
I am not whole, what have you done
It all makes sense to disconnect
Too many words were left unsaid
But still I stare, frozen here
Until the curtains close
They were screaming out each others name as they finished. I didn't know if I should run or stay there and let him see that I knew. He rolled off the guy and that's when I made up my mind to leave. I got up and ran, but the damage was done. He saw me, and I heard him yell my name. Sakura saw me and we ran to were everyone else was. She put her hand on my back and we hugged. Kiba came out of no where and offered me a drink I guess he noticed that I was crying.
"What happened?" he asked. "Last I checked he was sleeping like he normally dose back there" more tears came down my face but I took the drink and before I knew it I was drunk. The sad thing was that I was waiting for him to come out of that room and look for me. Soon the party was ending and Sakura and I stumped out of the party. Kiba was laughing at me. I never got that drunk in my life, EVER. I felt like I was going to fall down or throw up at any second. I somehow ended up at my front door.
"Wow that was quick. How the hell did I end up here?" Sakura laughed at me as we went into my place. It was unusually dark and I couldn't see a thing. "Sakura I'm so happy that we went there. I mean there were bad things that happened, but I'm glad. Now I know the truth, and I got drunk. I mean… yea" my words didn't some out right. "Dose this whole no talking right always happens when you're drunk?" I felt hot all over and I wanted to take my cloths off. I stripped my t-shirt off and giggled. "So... Sakura I'll see you tomorrow?" she nodded.
"If anything happens just run over to my place. It's down the street, pink house." I giggled. That's how you always know it's her place, she is the pink lady. I nodded and she left. I turned around and saw none other then that cheating ass whole mother fucker…. ECT
Don't stop now, I need this to hurt
Burn it into my mind
and no more second guessing anymore
this is how it ends
"The hells are you doing here? Shouldn't you be with you little sluty boy friend?" I said with hatred in my voice.
"Naruto-"
"No fuck you, you ass hole. You used me, and you didn't even say a word. You acted like it was nothing." He just stood there "Cat got your tongue, or should I say fox" I really didn't mean for that much to come out, but it felt so good to left out.
"Naruto hoe drunk are you? Are you seeing things?"
"HELL NO!!" I was so mad that he would try and say it was me being drunk. "I wasn't even drunk when I saw it, I drunk because I saw it. You're suck an cheating ass hole who loves to be fucked by bitchy sluts with cunt bubbles." Did I even make sense? O well it sounded kool coming out of my mouth. O I wrote kool not cool. I hate cool I like kool looks kooler (lol totally random) my words were a bit messed up but I think I got my point across.
So don't stop now, get my head on straight
And if seeing this is what it takes
please don't stop it now
this will be the last time
I ran up the stairs and up my room and locked the door. Sasuke was right behind me and I heard him start banging on the door. "Naruto I love you. I'm so sorry that this happened. It's just..." he couldn't say anything after that. He knew what he did, and he knew that he couldn't say anything that would help this situation. He knew that no mater what he would lose. I fell to the floor with my back against the door.
"You hurt me so much. When I saw that I felt that I was dying. I lost a part of me Sasuke. The sad thing is that I still love you. Nothing will change that, but there is still the choice I can make to leave me love. To leave you and never look back."
So don't stop now
I need to see this through until this final bar
Illusions gone, the show is done
so don't stop now
I woke up and looked around. I was still sitting on the ground, where I was last night. I got up got ready to face the world. I opened my door to see Sasuke asleep with his back to the door, so as effect to me opening the door, he fell backwards into the room. I stepped over him and started to walk to the kitchen. I made a quick bowl of cereal and sat down at my table. Now my mind was starting to get my mind though everything that happened last night. I was sp fed up with everything he put me though in the last 12 hours. To think I trusted him, and he did this is me? I started to cry, I seem to be doing that a lot lately, and I couldn't do much about it.
I thought I was in love, but this couldn't be love. Love is where there is trust and commitment and all of that, but in this relationship, I was getting none of that. So here I was eating crappy cereal, crying, and on top of that, I heard him come down the stairs. "I'll be out" he said. He didn't even try to hide where he would be going. Though why would he need to? His 'big' secret has been revealed, I know. The sad thing is that he hasn't even tried to try and change.
Follow you close, four steps behind
Part of me knew you were not mine
So now I look around with a blank look on my face. That's when it hits m; I should so follow him and see what he is up to. It was an open opportunity. I search around until I found out where he was. He was right where he went last night, stupid restaurant with the stupid people who knew I was dating that ass and never has the decency to tell me anything. That's when I saw Sakura come up and slap him.
"How could you let him go and see that?" he yelled at her, and slap her back. She fell to the ground crying. I couldn't bear to see her like that. "I told you what I would do if you told." I was sick of seeing this. I thought he may change.
That's when Sasuke leaned over and kissed that stupid guy again. I felt my body boil and I almost lost control of the demon inside me. Not only did I want to kill them, so did it. I know my eyes turned red as I saw Sasuke start to go after Sakura, and before I knew it I jumped in. "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING TO MY BEST FRIEND?" Everyone in the WHOLE restaurant ran; wow I can clear a room fast. Sasuke game me a look, "I told you I was going out why you followed me?"
"Well last time you left I saw you with this guy kissing here. Then last night, so sorry I'm not the most trusting of you right now."
"I love you though"
"Then why did you cheat on me?"
So don't stop now, I need this to hurt
Burn it into my mind
and no more second guessing anymore
this is how it ends
He stared at me, with nothing to say. I knew it; he wanted to cheat on me and I really couldn't do much about it. He thought I would just sit back and take this? Well beep him. Don't want to be with someone who will do something like this to me. He doesn't get it, and I'm not going to take that chance again.
"You know what. You can do whatever you like now. Cause guess what, I'm sick of this. I told you that I will always love you, and I always will. I thought we would be together forever, just like you said. Now reality has hit me and I know it. You're an ass hole who hurts others. You don't love me; it was me loving you, and you doing nothing. Last night opened up my eyes, and it's burned into my brain. I can't be with someone who can do this to me. Call me when you grow up."
I walked away after that. I heard him yelling my name over and over, and each time it cut my heart open. I couldn't handle the thought of him with anyone else. I felt like I was dieing bit by bit, with each step I took. As the tears started to go down my face I knew that this experience would change my life forever.
So don't stop now, get my head on straight
And if seeing this is what it takes
Please don't stop it now
This will be the last time
So don't stop now
I need to see this through until this final bar
Illusions gone, the show is done
So don't stop now
He says he still loves me, but I don't know what to do. Because every time I see him, I still feel the same. We tried to just stay friends; only you can't stay friends with someone you really love. Sasuke, why did you have to do this to me? You hurt me so much, but you taught me a lesson. You don't deserve trust you earn it. Now I live my days alone just waiting for someone to come who I love even more then Sasuke. Sadly I think that day will never come. Event though he has hurt me so much, I still love him. I'm so pathetic right?
Ok tell me if it's good I worked a WHOLE lot. And I actually used stuff I learned in LA class while writing this. There are parts in the drunken part where it was meant to be messed up. And some of his points of view like kool I like that word lol so I made him use it.
Ashley
