Disclaimer: I do not own anything
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Poison
Sara was sitting in her car watching the rain running over the windshield. But it wasn't the only liquid flowing this moment. Slowly, tears made their way across her cheeks and softly fell into her lap. Watching the entrance of the building she carefully wiped them away. A hearty sigh left her mouth and she relaxed her shoulders. Closing her eyes she let her mind wander. Somehow Sara wasn't feeling fine. At work she had had troubles with her colleagues, because in her opinion they behaved heartless sometimes. How could they not sympathise with the victims? For her, the task was to take revenge for the dead. Only Grissom could understand her, although he didn't show much support. Another tear dropped down.
Grissom – he actually was the source of her
misery. For years she had tried to show him her affection. She was
addicted to him, but he wouldn't return her approaches. And even
when he did, afterwards he behaved as if nothing had happened. But
despite the fact that he couldn't show his true intention, Sara
knew exactly how he felt about her. The only question was why he
wasn't able to tell her.
Shaking off all this miserable thoughts,
she turned her head.
Impatiently she blew the horn one time. Not taking her eyes off the front door, she watched it open and couldn't help but smile. Grissom quickly closed it behind him, rushing to the car in order to prevent himself from getting wet. When he had gotten in, however, there were some raindrops glittering in his hair. He looked like a mystic creature with his shining smile.
"Hi. Thanks for picking me up. I'm sorry for all the trouble…", he started. But Sara barely listened to him. She was captured by his picture.
Recollecting herself she answered: "No prob, you'd do the same for me if my car would brake down."
Unable to hold herself back she put her hand forth to gently stroke the raindrops out of his hair. At first he closed his eyes enjoying Sara's touch, but then Grissom's smile vanished and he firmly turned his head. Blushing he reached for the belt to fasten it.
"Let's get going!", he said awkwardly. Sara sighed. Once again he had repelled an attempt to come closer to him. Nodding in agreement she started the engine and turned on the radio to avoid a suppressing silence. She couldn't tell what he was thinking right now, which made her feel uncomfortable. But why, why did he always reject her? She could feel her eyes becoming wet but she concentrated hard on the street she was driving on. He didn't even try to start a conversation with her, which made her feel more miserable. Suddenly the flow of cars came to a halt.
"What's up there?", she muttered tapping the wheel impatiently.
"An accident.", Grissom explained shortly pointing at two crashed cars.
"Terrific!", she said sarcastically and turned off the engine. "I think we'll be late tonight. Sorry, Grissom.", Sara added.
"You don't have to apologize. It's not your fault." He retorted with a smile. She turned her head to return his smile. He would manage again and again that she couldn't be mad at him. At the moment she didn't know if she should confront him or not. Then she decided to do so, because this time he couldn't get away that easily.
"Why do you do that?" she simply said quietly grabbing the wheel harder as support.
"Do what?" Grissom bent his head closer to her, looking confused.
"Making me feel like you don't want me around…" Sara raised her head to meet his gaze.
He looked taken aback. "I didn't know I made you feel like this.", Grissom answered truthfully. "But believe me, it has never been my intention to hurt you…"
Sara snorted. "Then why do you keep me at such a distance. Every time I try to get closer, you push me away. It's not fair." She let out her anger and frustration.
Grissom broke the gaze and looked out of the window. "Sara…you know…it is…complicated. Things between us aren't easy…"
"But why? Why can't it be easy? Why can't two people that love each other just be together?" Sara sounded like a pigheaded small child.
Grissom suddenly stiffened in his seat and Sara knew that she had gone too far. She had spoken of his feelings or at least the feelings she assumed he had for her.
"Great!" she thought. "Now, I've widened the gap between us again."
"Sara. I have to admit that there is a kind of…mh…something between us, but I'm not sure about it. I need to figure it out properly." When Grissom spoke his voice was monotone, as if he had told her already a hundred times.
Sara preferred not to answer but to bite her lip in order to prevent tears from starting to flow. Turning the radio louder she started to think of her incapability. When the first tones of a familiar song sounded, she drifted off and all that was in her mind was Grissom.
Your cruel device
Your device's always cruel. No matter if you tell me to work with you or not. I don't know what's more horrible. Being with you all the time and not being able to touch and hold you or being separated from you and having to think of you all the time you're not with me?
Your blood like ice
Your blood must be ice, because otherwise you would've noticed how much I care about you and how desperately I'm trying to tell you. Probably your heart's an icicle, frozen by your coldness and your restriction for feelings.
One look could kill
Definitely. All you've gotta do is gaze at me innocently as always and I'm drowning in your blue eyes deep like an ocean. Every time you look at me, I'm captured, never wanting to break this spell that links us.
My pain – your thrill
What is your motivation when you're hurting me? Are you a sadist? It must be a thrill for you as often as you've already pushed me away from you.
I wanna love you but I better not touch
I really wanna love you. Actually, I already love you! It's my truest intention, but you won't let me. And in order not to get pushed away too far I won't touch you anymore, I think. Although it feels so good…
I wanna hold you but my senses tell me to stop
Senses? I'd rather call it brains. Why don't I just give up and look for another man, who won't break my heart every time he opens his mouth to talk to me? There comes a time when you just don't wanna be hurt anymore…but I think things ARE different between us…
I wanna kiss you but I want it too much
Oh yes, I'd really like to do that. And I've dreamed of it often enough to be able to imagine how it could actually feel. A kiss would be a sensation, but is never going to happen…at least in this life.
I wanna taste you but your lips are venomous poison
I want you so badly but I can't have you. It's driving me nuts and someday it'll tear me apart. Your lips – I'd just wanna taste them one time, one single time. I've waited for so long. But the more I long for you, the more I get hurt…it is true: you're poison, at least to me.
Your poison running through my veins
Just what I thought. And there's no antidote…
You're poison; I don't wanna break these chains.
It's true…I don't wanna break away from you. Although it would mean no more hurting and heart-breaking, but you can't chose the one you wanna love. Besides, something tells me, that it is worth waiting… I strongly hope this feeling's right.
Your mouth – so hot
Yeah, but not only your mouth… your entire body, too. How I'd like to put my hands onto your chest just to feel it rise and fall, to bury my hands in your hair, to stroke your cheek… And how I'd like to capture your mouth with mine…mh…
Your web – I'm caught
Even though you don't notice or don't wanna notice…I've fallen into your trap. I'm succumbed to you, Grissom.
Your skin – so wet
If you made love to me, I'd promise to make you sweat. Your body would be so slippery you wouldn't even… Oh…I'm fantasizing again…Wake up, Sara!
Sara turned her head to face Grissom once again. Her breath had become unsteady at those imagined hot scenes. Somehow there was a tension between them now. This song…She could feel his uneasiness. His eyes were darting left and right, searching her gaze and avoiding it at the same time. Although she had had those negative thoughts about him she somehow felt…aroused. She could see beads of sweat at his temples slowly making their way down his cheek. Sara would have liked to capture those drops with her mouth. Shifting in her seat, she opened her belt hoping her arousal to become easier. Grissom copied her behaviour not letting her out of sight for a single second. He was breathing faster now, as she had noticed.
I hear you calling and it's needles and pins
Yeah, 'cause you call to me and don't notice it yourself. That's what it makes so painful. I'd answer to you…if you let me.
I wanna hurt you just to hear you screaming my name
Wouldn't be such a bad idea…at least I'd see if you'd still know my name. And if I can't have you scream it the way I'd like it, this is a fine alternative, isn't it?
The tension in the car was nearly visible now. Sara expected the next moment to see sparks inflaming between their gazes. Not entirely understanding what was going on she put her hand on his thigh waiting for his reaction. Sucking in breath sharply, holding if for a few seconds and then releasing it at one blow told Sara that he, too was aroused.
"Sara…" he whispered too weak to resist. He took her hand and their fingers interlocked. Then he put his free hand on her cheek and led her head softly closer to his. Breathing quicker, she could barely believe what was happening. The next moment their lips met, a soft bruise at first, but getting intenser every second.
Outside the rain was stil falling, thumping rhythmically onto the roof.
