So I said you wouldn't see me for two weeks, and I really, truly, honestly meant it, but if I don't do something with my new TWEWY obsession I'm going to go both insane and create some big multi-chapter story that makes me lose sight of Caretaker, which is NOT HAPPENING on my watch.

So this is just a plethora of one-shots that have been coming to me throughout the week, that I wanted to type up just to get it out of my system without doing a novel to quell the fangirl mechanisms within me.

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Name: Sadism

Rating: R (death, smut)

I'm just not going to comment...at all. I disturb myself.

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It wasn't something Joshua liked to admit, even to himself, but he was somewhat a sadist. Not in the simple "I bite, you bleed, I lap it up" kind of way, or the "this whip is going to make you wish you'd never been born" stance; the Composer could have lived with either of those. They were simple, natural; they went hand in hand with his natural derision for most people and his usual attention span that only lasted upon those who were really, really suffering. Hell, you live for a few hundred years in a job that basically defined how to destroy (or change, but that was only very lightly added, here and there) the dead even more then they already have been, and you lost a little humanity; understandable.

But this...this new urge he was having, the idea that he had gotten off on...what he had, well, the implications weren't good. For one, it made him question his already shaky grasp on sanity, and second, there was just the smallest, tiniest bit of a hint in this that maybe, just maybe, only one person would be able to satisfy this...urge. And no, they would not be happy about it.

Of course Joshua wasn't just going to give in to that snide little voice that whispered poisonously in his mind about how perfect that brown hair with blonde and red tints had looked when- and the eyes-

So he tried a few other people first. A lot of other people. Old, young, rich, poor, fat, thin, grey eyes, brown hair, ivory skin and fuck, he actually had it bad, bad bad bad enough to admit, after the 222nd attempt of mission "this can't be fucking happening give me a fucking break" (and yes, he had counted) he couldn't take it anymore and did the one thing he had been trying so damn hard not to do in the first place- he tracked Neku down, damn it all, to the same place it had happened the first time, the fucking graffiti mural.

And it was funny, because he didn't just act on his urges straight away, and by now he was screaming for what he wanted, that one action that could cause him to feel carnal pleasure like he never had even when alive, but just looking at the 15 year old whose life he had changed so much -and god, Neku didn't know just how much yet- calmed him somewhat. His proxy, his choice, was so unconditionally beautiful...that had been the reason he'd chosen him in the first place. On the whim that, if he was going to kill off Shibuya in one fell swoop, he wanted this beauty first, to be manipulated in his very hands to help him achieve exactly what he wanted and fuck that had gone so swimmingly hadn't it? But the fact remained that Neku was his and therefore okay to want, okay to lust after, because he knew Neku's mind probably better than the child did and he was going to love this just as much as Joshua, and even if he didn't...who cared?

"Neku." He called, stepping out from the shadows, just watching the brunette turn, a startled but quickly delighted smile on his face as he came round to face the man who had put him through so much crap, and Joshua swore neither of them even heard the gun go off, just looking into each other's eyes for the first time in six months. But then Neku was on the ground, and he was bleeding, and that was exactly what Joshua had been looking for. The betrayed expression on Neku's face didn't even last long, as Joshua wiped his lips with the blood oozing out of his chest and licked it off with a sigh of pure delight.

"Neku, dear, I apologise in advance but..." He tried to explain as best (and as quickly) as possible, because his hands couldn't stop tracing patterns on Neku's cheeks with the boy's blood and his tongue couldn't help lapping away after it, and just for the hell of it he bit Neku's collarbone hard enough to break skin, just to hear the gasp, just to feel the feeble arching of a boy torn between pleasure and death and god, he'd thought it was beautiful before. "You are so...breathtaking, when you're dying."

And Neku giggled, a weak, breathy sound, as he shakily tapped the Conductor's lips with a blood covered finger and pulled himself up across the gap. There was biting, and rough gropes that had both of them rubbing against each other like beasts in heat until they were both covered in blood, and sex, and Neku was still dying, situated comfortably within his arms.

"You, Joshua, are a complete sadist." And Joshua was more than happy to agree, as long as there was blood and kissing and that beauty fading in his arms, as well as the reassurance that he had brought his Proxy back once and he could damn well do it again.

...Next time, maybe a warning before he shot out his chest cavity.

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