Is a Diamond Forever?
Disclaimer: I am not Chris Carter so the X-files aren't mine, kapeesh? I also don't own "The Breakfast Club" or the slogan "A Diamond Is Forever", or the song "Iris" by the Goo Goo Dolls
A/N—The third installment of "The Ring Series" Please, pretty please with a cherry on top review! I love getting them! I'll give a sticker to anyone who catches the reference to the novel "The Thorn Birds"! Thanks to my awesome beta Heather, you rock!
I love Scully. Dana. Dana Katherine hopefully-soon-to-be Mulder. I love the way that the light reflects in her hair and the way that she brings out this little smile every once and a while, just for me. She is the part of me that has been missing for as long as I can remember. She is everything to me.
Everyday when she comes in to our office, I see if the ring I gave her has made its way over to her left hand. I can't say that I'm not disappointed, but I can say that I understand. Part of me is afraid that when she does say that she wants to marry me, harm will come to her. I have enemies, enemies that would hurt her to get to me. They already gave her cancer and took away any chance of her having her own children.
Sometimes I end up spending the night at her house or she ends up at mine. She always gets the bed and I sleep on the couch. I don't mind it at all, really. I respect her and she respects me, that's just the way that it works with us. Every Friday now we have dinner and a movie at Scully's house. I bring the movie and she tries to cook us dinner. It's a nice arrangement, the highlight of my week.
I never realized how much time we spend together until lately. We have our nine-to-five job, all the late nights driving, and our dinner and movie dates, and that adds up to more than most married couples see each other. I know that my parents didn't see each other nearly as much as Scully and I do. They weren't this happy either; I'm living proof of that.
I still laugh about that first night we were in a motel together all those years ago. The way she ran in to my room with only her robe on, pleading with me to help her. I didn't know what to say at first when she took off her robe and was just standing there in her bra and panties. Then I remember that talk we had and that was when I fell in love with her.
For tonight's date I picked up one of Scully's favorite movies, "The Breakfast Club." I don't tell her what I'm bringing any week, much less this week. I know that she'll be surprised and I don't care if I find that goth girl annoying, it's all okay because Scully likes it.
I knock on her door expecting to hear her tell me to come in or something, but instead the door swings open on me. Her favorite song for the moment is playing, and I can her singing:
"…And I don't want the world to see me, 'cuz don't think that they'd understand. When everything is made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am…"
"Hey, Scully." I say walking in to her apartment and setting the video by her TV.
"Hi, Mulder. It should be ready in a few minutes."
"What did you make?" I ask, hugging her from behind and burying my head in the crook of her neck inhaling the scent of the soap that she uses.
"It's one of my mom's recipes. It's like this cheeseburger soup thing. It smells okay, but I make no guarantees. My mom's cooking isn't world renown."
"I'm sure that its fine. Besides, I like Maggie's cooking, better than what my mother ever made for us." Kissing her ear I pull away and let her get the ladle out from the jar where she keeps it along with some other kitchen things.
Scully darts over to the stove where the big pot was presumably just simmering away and started to stir the soup again. She's so little and without those big heels on I can see it even more. I go over to the cupboard where she keeps her bowls and get two of them down. Setting them next to the stove, I grab two spoons and two paper napkins. It has become almost routine now, the way we prepare our dinners.
In a few minutes dinner is ready and we're sitting down at her table ready to eat. She says her prayers and makes the sign of the cross before we start on the soup. I really admire her faith, she's been through more than she ever should but yet she has never lost faith in God.
"Mulder, I...I don't mean to pry, but I was wondering what Samantha was like. You don't have to tell me, I don't want to upset you or anything."
I know she wants to know about Samantha, she's been hinting at it for weeks. As I think about my answer a stiff October wind rattles her windows.
"Samantha was like any little girl I guess. I remember that she loved this doll that she named Lucy and she made little dresses for them. Every night after she did her homework and ate dinner, she would work on a dress. They were made out of these scrapes of fabric that a neighbor lady gave to her."
The memories just keep pouring back into my head the more I try to remember Samantha at eight.
"I think that she liked this boy, Aaron, she was always talking about what Aaron said or what game he made up that day."
"She sounded like she was happy." Scully said, taking a spoonful of the soup
"I used to tease her about Aaron and sitting around making doll dresses. I still kick my sorry ass for that one; I should have been a better brother to her. I remember for her eighth birthday, she had a whole bunch of her friends over. My mom bought her this new dress that was blue and had a white bow in the back. When my mom was making the cake I put in my friend Tommy's rubber bug collection into the batter. When they cut the cake, all of Sam's little friends started screaming and I started to laugh my head off. I actually think that one of the girls, Georgia, wet herself."
"I bet that one went over real well."
"Yeah, you know, the last time ever saw her was when she was sitting on the window seat in her bedroom, looking at the stars. She asked me what they were, and I told her something that I knew would pacify her. She was almost worked up that night about something, like she knew something was wrong. I told her that the stars were all the kitties and puppies that died."
Last thing I told my sister was about dead puppies and kitties. If I had known, I would have said something better, something that showed how much I really did care, even if I was always teasing her.
"There was nothing I could do Scully. She yelled for me that night, not for our mother or her father, for me! I couldn't do a damn thing to help her either. I couldn't even answer her screams. All I could do was listen to everything that was going on."
"You were a little boy Mulder, and now you know what really happened to her and to you that night. You couldn't have done anything to save her. You have to stop beating yourself up over this."
"I took a picture of her from the house. I think it was her class picture taken like a week before she was abducted. It's in the top drawer of my computer desk. She was so pretty looking in the picture. I mean she could have been married by this point, but she's stuck as my baby sister forever."
I was almost about to say have her own family, but I can't to that to Scully. Samantha would most likely have children by now, but then again by the same rational I should be married and having kids.
"Mulder, I know that you loved your sister and she loved you. That's a lot more than lots of families ever get to have and share. Be happy for what you have and for your memories."
She's right, but I still walk around every day with the same guilt that I've carried since I was twelve. That same guilt that led me down the road that I'm on is the same that gave me Scully. I wouldn't have ever met Scully if Samantha wasn't taken. Samantha, Scully, hope, fate, losses, gains, and I am stuck in the middle of it all, trying to figure it all out.
"Samantha was something else, I think she was the only person who really loved me…until you came along."
"Don't say that. Even if that is true, that doesn't matter anymore. I'm never going to leave you. You'll always have me to fall back on. I'm the one who loves you Mulder, and absolutely nothing will make me fall out of love with you. Nothing."
We finish eating our dinner in the quiet. Even the quiet with Scully is wonderful; she can make it full with life. I take one last sip of the thick soup and take my bowl over to the sink and rinse it out. We do the dishes in the morning, another one of our little traditions. Mainly it gives me a few more minutes with her, doesn't matter if I'm doing pots. Scully does the same then puts the pot in her refrigerator.
"Mulder, I'll be right back, I'm going to put something a bit more comfortable on." She tells me with that smile that she only pulls out for me. I know that she goes it just to be a little tease. Scully, my short redheaded tease, the one who I would forsake anything for.
I go and put the tape in the VCR, fast-forwarding though all the previews. As the whirring of the tape keeps going I turn off all the lights. Just as I stop the tape at the stat of the actual movie, Scully comes back. She's wearing one of my Oxford T-shirts that I must have left over here a while a go. It's so big on her; it could almost be a dress. I do have to say that she decorates it much better then I ever did.
"So, tell me Mulder, what movie did you pick out?"
"All in good time."
She sits down on the couch next to me and we get to sitting the way we normally do. She has her back leaned up against the armrest and her legs swung over my lap. I grab the remote and hit play. As soon as she sees the first frame of the movie, she smiles.
"I love this movie!"
The rest of the night she watches the movie, quoting all of her favorite lines, even whole scenes. I watch to, rubbing her legs all the while.
"Hey, how come Andrew gets to get up? If he gets up, we'll all get up, it'll be anarchy!" Scully says along with "John"
When the movie is over I get up and shut off the television and Scully lays her head back over the armrest, her hair flowing over the beige fabric. I help her get up and we walk to her bedroom.
Another one of our traditions is that I tuck her in. I pull back the covers and once she settles in, I pull them back over her. Kissing her goodnight, I walk out the door, hitting the light as I leave.
"Aren't you going to stay with me?"
Did she just invite me into her bed? I think Scully just invited me to stay in her bed. Its not like I have to think about my decision at all, but still, the shock value is still there.
I take off my shirt and get under the blankets with her. I just feel right like this. Slowly she scoots her way toward me and lays her head just inches away from mine. Instinctively, I kiss the top of her head and lay my arm over her shoulder and start to rub little circles on her spine.
"I was thinking about something."
"What?" I ask, both curiously and with caution in my voice.
"When we get married, you won't be mad that we won't be able to have children will you? I know that it would mean a lot to you and all that. I just don't' want to disappoint you."
Scully, don't think like that! It's my fault, not yours. It's you that's important not me! You're the one who has every right to be angry and disappointed, not me.
"Scully, we have each other. I just hope that you aren't mad at me because you can't have children. It's my damn fault and you have every right to hate my guts."
"I could never hate you, Fox, and that's why I'm doing this."
Very carefully Scully brings up her arms from the blankets and in the dim moonlight room, I can see what she is doing.
"I love you Fox William and I want to be with you forever."
With that statement she takes the ring that I gave her off of her right and slips it on to her left ring finger. I lean over and kiss her. This is really happening. She wants to marry me, she really loves me enough to grow old with me, to share the rest of her life with me.
"I love you Scully, more than you'll ever know."
"Your going to have to start calling me Dana...unless you want to call your wife Mulder."
"You'll always be Scully in my heart, no matter if you go by Dana or Mulder or doctor or agent."
"This brings me to something else that I was thinking of. My mom knows this woman; she works for an adoption agency. I asked about adopting in general and Inez, the woman my mom knows, said that there was just a case that she thought we'd be interested in. There is a single mother in London, she's three months pregnant with twins."
"Really?"
"She said that it would be an easy adoption. The mother is committed to giving her babies up. From what Inez said, the mother is only nineteen. All we have to do is go down to the office and have a meeting with her."
"Sounds like you already have your mind made up."
"It's not like that Mulder, I mean the opportunity was there, and I had to let Inez know that I thought we'd be interested."
"I'm not mad either Scully, not one bit. In fact it sounds great, wonderful in fact."
"I'm glad you think that. Maybe we could receive them before our wedding. Would that be perfect? Our own family Mulder, can you believe it? Its our own little slice of Heaven."
The only bit of Heaven that I'll ever know is right here. My angel Scully will once again be with the angels and I'll be paying my dues. The justice of it is poetic.
"Tomorrow, Scully, we'll see Inez tomorrow."
Once again I kiss her and she snuggles close to me, her head against my chest. Everything is right with the world.
