((Finally disengaged perpetual stalk mode and got myself an account, hopefully this won't be the only thing I ever get around to posting ))

Title: Risk Factor
Summary: Iruka's got something on his mind.

Status: Drabble, stand-alone.

Notes: People probably have survived the chidori but.. shhh. Unbeta'd, errors galore. Written for the Kakairu livejournal community, because some crack is not wacked.

Rated T for safety and Iruka's optimism.


Risk factor.

"Kakashi-san, what's the survival rate against a Chidori blast?"

Kakashi spared a lazy glance at the chunin next to him. What was the guy's problem? He had been quite happily skulking alone on one of his preferred rooftops watching Naruto and Jiraya set out, and had intended to make a night of it, the skulking that is, before one very bothersome Iruka-sensei showed up.

He was surprised Iruka had even managed to detect him as he walked back from the Ramen stand far below, as Kakashi kept his chakra masked out of habit, but then again maybe the tidal waves of melancholy he was emanating had given his position away. Kakashi had been unable to shake the cloud of misery that settled over his head as he carried Naruto back from the Valley of the End and it was quite possible that by now the angst was becoming palpable.

Whatever the reason, Iruka had made his way up to the roof and settled down beside Kakashi like it was the most natural thing in the world, and for the past hour or so had been attempting to engage the Jonin in some extremely odd conversation.

Where Iruka was going with this particular tangent Kakashi didn't know or care, he just wished he would go away and let him think (brood) in peace.

"If it hits its target? 0," he answered blandly. He would have just got up and left Iruka to his fractured musings, he was obviously taking Naruto's departure worse than Kakashi would have expected, but well.. this was a good spot and he got here first, damn it. Iruka was bound to get bored with Kakashi's lacklustre replies and shove off soon.. surely.

"I see" Iruka said at length, sounding regretful "Well I suppose we all have to die some time"

Oh for God's sake, what was he babbling about? Kakashi turned, feeling both exasperated and a little piteous of Iruka's sharp turn towards mental breakdown - he'd always thought him such a stable character and really didn't want to have to call in the ANBU on a schoolteacher, it was depressing. Kakashi supposed he'd better say something before it got any worse.

"Look Iruka-sens-"

But he didn't get any further than that, because a pair of lips suddenly halted any more speech most effectively.

Iruka was kissing him. Kissing him through his mask and rather tentatively but still definitely kissing. His lips were very warm after the cold evening air but not at all unpleasant. Kakashi felt a strong hand cupping his jaw, felt fingers moving to stroke the sensitive skin at the back of his neck and decided that maybe it was him that had gone mad.

Then Iruka pulled back and was smiling at him, up close Kakashi could see all the little crinkles of mirth around his eyes and the way his scar stretched just a bit over his now pink cheeks.

Oh look at that; Iruka was quite attractive wasn't he?

"Well if your not going to Chidori me into oblivion for that.." he was saying "Jiraya-sama dragged Naruto away before he could spend all my wages on ramen; so how about I buy you a drink?"

Kakashi blinked slowly "A drink?" funny he was sure he'd had his brain with him when he left the house this morning…

"Yeah I was hoping to take advantage of you later and I hear alcohol helps these things along" Iruka said with an alarmingly Naruto-ish grin.

Was he testing out some new method of torture Kakashi wondered, because it was certainly working. The idea of being 'taken advantage of' by Iruka Umino, straight-laced chunin, paper pusher and sensei to little ninja brats all over Konoha was both hilarious and deeply disturbing at the same time. Disturbing and appealing, Kakashi realised.

"Got it all planned out have you?" he asked in his best 'I'm so causal and not at all utterly gob smacked' voice.

"Oh no I'm open to suggestion" Iruka assured as he stood, extending a hand to help Kakashi up.

The copy ninja took it, carefully, and allowed Iruka to pull him to his feet, where they both paused regarding each other for a long moment.

"I.. don't think you'll need the alcohol" Kakashi said finally, concluding that Iruka probably had a 0 survival rate as well.