"I still hear them." The patient said in a monotone voice as he stared up at the ceiling. He shifted in the chair he was lying in, the tight leather made an audible squeak.
"Hear who?" The answer was practically routine; the doctor had all the usual answers burned into his memory.
"I still hear them," He repeated, "The Angels. Even with the pills I can still hear them." The doctor took in an exasperated breath.
"We go over this every week. There's no such thing as Angels. We've come so far since we brought you hear, don't choose now to breakdown." He shot a hard stare towards his patient, "You can go back to your room now." His patient nodded, and slowly got up. The guards outside the door came in and began to lead him to his room.
'I'm really not crazy. They all just don't understand.' He thought over and over again. 'I'm not crazy. I'm really not crazy.'
"Go on in now." The guard said interrupting his thoughts, lightly moving his forward into his room. He nodded and went over to his bed. The sunlight poured in from the window, showering his back in warmth. He sat upright, just looking off into the distance. He sighed, this place was torture, and he needed to get out. There was a higher purpose for him in the world and just sitting here, being monitored and given drugs every few hours was not it. 'I'm not crazy.' He laid back, letting sleep take over him, at least until one of the nurses comes by to give him more sedatives.
Dreams, they're a funny thing. Like movies in front of your eyes, although, they seem real, like memories, but not complete. His dreams were only flashes, dark black leather, guns, and classic rock. There were no faces or names. Only voices. The dreams occur every night, and he just can't place his finger on it, but they all seem real. None of the doctors will bother to listen to him speak of his dreams; they say it's part of his Schizophrenia.
He woke with a start, jolting awake in his bed. There was a knock at the door. A few seconds later, the door was unlocked. A nurse with flowing red hair walked in. She was his favorite; she always made sure that he was last on her rounds, saving time to talk with him. She was his best friend, and he didn't even know her name, he just called her nurse. He smiled.
"Nurse." he said with a tone of happiness in his voice.
"Hey you!" She smiled, sat next to him on his bed, and handed him his pills, "How've you been?" Come to think of it, that was also routine, but it was different with her, he questions turned into true conversation, true caring.
"I've had another dream. You woke me up, but it's still the same." He began, sighing after he finished speaking. The nurse took a moment to answer.
"Are you really sure they're just dreams? They seem to be a common occurrence, and you know what they say, if you have a dream more than once, it's bound to be true!" She gradually got more cheerful as she spoke. Her patient was the only one who enjoyed talking with someone, she needed to talk too. Her patient was an outlet as much for herself as she was for him. As a matter of fact, both of them together were better than the hospital's therapist.
"Are you sure? They say it's part of what I have, but it can't be. I'm not crazy." He looked down, "I can't be." The side effects of the pills were kicking in now. Depression. Though he didn't get as bad as the other patients, just a bit upset usually. He had the nurse to thank for that. She put a hand on his shoulder, unable to voice what her mind screamed at her 'I know you're not.' She had to keep in mind that she was talking to a mental patient. Still, she wanted to believe that he wasn't. She desperately wanted to believe that there was a higher power, what with everything that was going on in the world.
"It'd be nice, wouldn't it? Angels being real and all." She finally spoke with a tone of hope in her voice. The way she stared at that wall, she could have bore a hole in it. Her thoughts, whatever they may have been at the moment, were cut off by a long sigh from her patient.
He was looking up at the ceiling with a half smile on his face.
"They don't like us very much, well, some of them don't, but a lot of them try," he spoke in a dreamy, lazy tone. Now the sedatives were kicking in. The doctor must have upped his dosage because he didn't act like this nearly this son. She sighed, and tapped his leg.
"Time to go back to sleep now," she was standing up now, helping him get settled into his bed. She smiled down at him, ran a hand through his dark locks, and said her goodbyes. The door closed behind her as she left. He now lay in his bed, humming a vaguely familiar song as he slipped into yet another sleep.
The usual dreams flashed before his eyes. Bloody splatter on the walls, a man yelling something he couldn't understand. Now there's three shot glasses clanking together in a 'cheers' fashion, laughs could be heard around the table. There was a feeling of happiness, then utter relaxation. Things seemed peaceful now, probably because the dreams brought him into the car. He's never actually seen the outside of it, but he's been in it so many times, he knows it like the back of his hand. The low hum of the engine, and some more music filled his head now. The only sights were the back of two heads. Still, no faces. The dream changed again. It only looked like a cheesy motel room. Duffle bags were thrown onto the bed. A man was on his laptop, but the screen covered his face. The door opened, and another man walked into the room, carrying a bag of food, the name on the bag was illegible, but the burgers that came from it looked delicious.
The dream changed yet another time. There was a park; children were playing on the Jungle Gyms. The man who brought the burgers was sitting on a bench next to him. When he looked over, he couldn't see his face, but he saw his eyes. Pure emerald, the beautiful shade of green everywhere. Looking into the man's eyes, he could see that he was tired. Not from lack of sleep, but just tired in general. Tired of everything, for some reason. Of course, that, he was clueless of. For some reason, he could read this man like a book. The man was about to speak, but when the man opened his mouth, the dream began to fade into a slur of colors. Just dripping and swirling into utter nothingness.
He woke up; looking at a wall, there was a frown on his face. 'What was he going to say?' he thought, but now, he'll probably never have the opportunity to find out. He sighed and sat up. Breakfast time. One of the nurses unlocked his door and brought him to the cafeteria. He thanked them and walked over to the back of the food line. His mind was still lingering on the dreams, too caught up in his thoughts; he startled himself when he found himself at the front of the line. He picked up a silver tray, and slid it over to where the food was being handed out. It was almost all gone. Not that he minded, being as he wasn't particularly hungry, ever, but it was nice to get food in his system. He eyed the food with bored eyes and sighed, holding his tray out to the server, who put one muffin and two pancakes on his tray. He smiled weakly and thanked her. Scanning the crowd for somewhere quiet to sit, he soon found a quiet chair over at an empty table in the corner.
Everyone was so loud, constantly yelling and screaming at someone, or some inanimate object. Usually the latter. Still, he shouldn't complain, he was in a psyche ward after all. That, and he didn't understand why he was still there, sure when he first came in he thought he was an Angel. Now he's been told otherwise, at first, he didn't believe them, but the doctors have their ways of changing what people thought… He shook his head clear of the memory, and began eating his breakfast.
"I brought you the newspaper." The nurse sat down across from him and pushed the paper towards him.
He smiled at her, "Thank you," She nodded and went back to her job. He loved reading the paper, even if the articles practically bored him to death. It was nice to read about what was going on in the outside world.
He opened up the paper so he could read the headline, but not take up all the space on the table. The headline read "Holy Mistake! Priest of local church found with child pornography!" What was wrong with people? 'Why would a man of religion do something like that?' He thought to himself. Reading the article through, he learned that the Priest would face trial soon. He shook his head and fished his breakfast. Standing up, he folded the paper and put it under his arm, as he threw out his trash and put his tray with the others.
"I'm ready to go back now," he told the nurses. They nodded and led him through the corridors back to his room.
"We'll come and get you in time for lunch," One of them said as they unlocked his door and let him into his room.
He sat down on his bed and leaned against the headboard, sighing, he reopened the newspaper and began reading. Most of the articles couldn't hold his interest; he had no need for knowing the state of the economy, or who was running for mayor. Everything about all of that seemed pointless. Soon he settled for reading the comics. At least those could those could hold his attention, even if it was for a short time, even if the humor was dull and the jokes were cheesy.
He began to doze, but all he did now was sleep, he really didn't want to anymore. Instead he scanned the paper again, and he found an article that he's missed, it was even somewhat interesting. Apparently, two people were spotted in a nearby town that look outstandingly like two felons. Although the article says that the criminals perished in a helicopter explosion some four years ago. These people could only be look alikes, but the authorities didn't want to take many chances being as they were highly dangerous. The article went into how they desecrated graves, robed banks and killed many people, they were brothers raised by a psychotic father. He scoffed, really, what was wrong with people today?
He put his paper on the nightstand next to his bed when he heard it. When he heard them, the Angels.
"Something's always going on down there,"
"Most of them are ignorant to it, we could step in again?"
"Remember what happened last time we interfered down there!"
"If I recall brother, it was we who started it,"
"It was the Winchesters."
"We still played a big part in it, why can't you see that?"
"Because we don't need to see it! We have enough problems!"
"Who are the Winchesters? What's happening? What can I do?" He shouted at the voices he was hearing, he standing up now, yelling at the ceiling. Nurses rushed in, they grabbed his arms to hold him down. He wasn't thrashing though, standard procedure.
"Again? We thought we had you under control!" One of the nurses yelled.
"But I-" he didn't have time to finish before they stuck him in the leg with a needle. Next thing he knew, he was in solitary again. He hated solitary. Sure he didn't have to deal with the other patients, and they fed him on time, but he felt trapped. Almost as if he was too big to be able to fit in there.
"Dinner time!" Someone called in, the door opened and they put a tray down in front of him. He said thank you, and they left. The food didn't look remotely appetizing, so he only ate enough to sustain him, then curled up on the floor and shut his eyes.
He saw blood on his hands, blood on the walls, and then everything got blurry as he fell to the floor. Someone ran towards him, but he couldn't see who, the only thing he saw was blazing emerald, and a scared look in the eyes.
He woke up, sweating and panting. The lights were shut down, and he didn't know how long he was out, but he saw someone standing at the other side of his room.
"Who's there?" He called out, he heard a maniacal laughter, and the shadow stood up and walked closer to him.
"Wouldn't you like to know," they purred, looking down at the trembling man beneath them. "You were once powerful, now look at you. Now you've truly fallen, and they can't help you this time." They touched his head, and everything went dark.
It must have been several days before he woke up, because when he finally rose, he was in the medical ward. There were tubes attached to him, his heart was on a monitor. It must have been bad, being as how many things were attached to him. There was a breathing tube, and things that felt like suction cups attached to his head and chest.
"Where am I….What happened?" He said quietly, one of the doctors must have heard him, because they were at his side in a second.
"How are you feeling?" They asked him, but they didn't give him enough time to answer because they were already drawing blood and checking charts. "We were scared there, thought you weren't going to make it," the doctor said with a smile on his face, "We'll keep you here for a few more hours and then you'll be free to go into the Rec Room. Interacting will probably be the best thing for you now." He nodded at the doctor, and sat up slowly.
His nurse showed up soon, "Oh my God! I'm so glad you're okay!" She wrapped her arms around him, and he sat there slightly confused, unsure of whether or not he should hug her back. One of the doctors cleared his throat.
"Try to keep professional dear, we know you're close to this one, but keep your head on." She nodded, but the smile stayed plastered to her face.
"You've been out for a week! We all thought you wouldn't make it, but I visited," she said, glancing over at the table next to him. It was littered with newspapers, and little chocolates. "I know you would have wanted to know what you missed, and the chocolates, well, they'll help you feel better." She said with a smile. He was very happy that she brought the papers for him; the smile he was wearing showed that.
"I'm sorry, but I have to go back now, I just wanted to see if you had woken up yet." She smiled, and he told her that he understood. As soon as she left, he reached over and grabbed the oldest paper, flipping it open and reading the first article, it was about some man going missing. After reading through most of the papers he found that he really hadn't missed much. It was all mainly political nonsense, and random happening around the local towns.
A few hours have passed when he was finally done; the doctor came over and told him he was free to go. A nurse working in the medical ward escorted him to the Recreation room. He sat down and stared out the window for a while. One of the nurses came over and told him that he should really socialize, listening he sat down at a chess board, and awkwardly waited until someone came over to play.
After several games, he felt bored again. That's when it happened, he saw someone. The nurses led the two men down the hall; they came from the therapist's office. They must be new, but that wasn't the strange part. One of the men looked at him. When their eyes met, there was a spark. It was almost as if they knew each other, the man had a strange look in his eyes, he looked as if he'd seen a ghost, but there was something else, what was it? Sorrow? Regret? The only thing he was really struck with was the color. It was a deep emerald. The same emerald he's been seeing for days. The man from his dreams, he was sure it was him. It had to be.
He jolted forward and threw his arm towards him, but his nurse stopped him, laughing a bit, "You'll be able to meet them in a bit. Now it's time for your meds, but I can promise you that they'll be out here when the side effects wear off." She began to usher him to his room, when he tried to break away.
"No! I need to see him now! Please!" He was struggling, not violently, but needingly. Some of the nearby nurses tried to help, but she explained to them that she had him under complete control.
"Calm down, you'll see them. Tonight, I promise." He nodded in defeat, but looked in the direction the men went longingly. When they finally arrived to his room, he seemed distant. She gave him his pills and sat down next to him, "Are you okay?"
"I feel like I know him. The dreams I've been having, he was in them, I'm sure of it!" He spoke as if he wasn't sure, but in such a way as if he needed it to be true. The nurse felt bad for him, he was so far gone that he was now imagining to be dreaming about other patients.
"I thought you said that you've never seen any faces?" She asked.
"I haven't but the past few days, I've seen his eyes. They're pure emerald. I could never forget them, and those are his! The taller one I recognize because of his hair, he's usually sitting in front of me in the car," He explained his past few dreams and the nurse seemed to be lost. How could two people who have never met, or three rather, have such a connection, and now all of them are in the same mental hospital. It all didn't add up. She was about to speak when she noticed that her patient had begun swaying back and forth. The medicine had taken effect now.
She stood up, and helped him lay down, "I'll be back for you in an hour," She said, pulling the blanket over him.
When he fell asleep more memories played in his head. He was at a strange place, there was a woman, and he heard himself tell her that it wasn't her fault that her father left. She hit him. Next he was outside the same building, he heard laughter, and someone told him that he hasn't laughed that much in years. These seemed to be happy memories this time, meaning tomorrow night, or next time he slept, there'd be more emotional memories. They had patterns; some of them weren't very great.
He was woken up shortly after many more happy dreams scrolled across his eyes. "You ready?" his nurse asked, shaking him awake. He nodded as he was helped stand up. The nurse escorted him through the door, he was still wobbly, so he needed help.
Meanwhile, the two men waited in the now empty Rec Room. "I don't understand why we need to be here!" The green eyed man began, "Just because some nutcase wants to meet us!"
He was cut off by the other man, "You were the one who said you were going to because the nurse was hot. Stop complaining." He just scoffed.
"Well I changed my mind! Besides, she was acting as if the person absolutely needed to see us. She made it seem like life or death."
"It's obvious that she cares about whoever is meeting us here, can't you just e nice for one minute!"
"Fine," He grumbled, slinking back into his chair. Soon they heard footsteps coming down the hall. The green eyed man had shut his eyes; he'd had a long day.
"Are you ready?" She asked her patient, he looked nervous. His heart was racing, and pounding. She held his shoulders, "You'll be fine," she said as she smiled at him. He nodded, not looking too reassured.
The door opened, and the green eyed man shot his head up and looked as the two people entered. He stared at the man that stood before him. Unable to speak as electric blue eyes stared at him. The taller man looked between them; he wouldn't be able to get the attention of either of them, based on the way they were staring at each other.
The blue eyed man stared right into the eyes of the other man. As if they were speaking in some silent language. His breath cut short, it felt as though he was trapped in one of his dreams. He could barely make out what was happening. He heard the nurse sit down in a chair across the room, and he felt arms around him soon. A reflex hit him as he hugged the other man tightly. When he was let go of the hug, he saw tears in the eyes of the other man, a smile on his face. His soul screamed happiness, and his hands were on his shoulders. He couldn't speak; he almost forgot how to breathe. Something inside him was dancing, his stomach flipped. Finally the green eyed man spoke, his voice was a mixture of guilt, relief, sorrow and happiness, and he could hear tears in his voice, happy tears. One word, that was all he said, but it felt like a speech. One word and his world was almost put completely back together. One word, "Cas!"
A/N: Well. It's finally up! After days of writing on paper during class, and having to endure teachers, other kids, and family members asking me if I was writing porn stories! I know there are probably a lot of Mental Patient!Cas stories up by now, but I wanted to put a lot of effort in it. I think the chapter beated around the bush a lot, and it's probably really annoying reading "He. She" over and over again, but when I first planned this out I wanted the last word to be "Cas". I worked really hard on this, and I want this fic to be successful so I figured a nice long one would be good! Review would e really helpful with this! I need feedback because I want this to be one of those fics that everyone knows about! Like one of those "Must Read' fics for the ship. (I know, probably not going to happen, but I can dream!)
