This is the newly editted version of chapter one. Not a hugely noticeable difference really. Oh well, I like it better this way. Anyway, this was still my first attempt at KakaIru and I know that they really ended up being ooc...

Still

Chapter 1

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The door slammed shut behind him with a very audible bang; if he'd been more alert he probably wouldn't have jumped. As it was, his heart hammered in his throat like he'd just finished a very long undercover mission, which was fitting because he had. He slumped tiredly against the cool glass before reaching for the phone.

Kakashi ran a weary, blood-spattered hand through his hair and dialed the number preserved in his memory. It only rang a few times before Iruka's soft voice came over the line and Kakashi smiled faintly at the drowsiness the chuunin's voice carried. His brunette had no idea what tired really meant.

"Hey, baby, it's been a long seven weeks. I'm a little cut up but I'm coming home. I know I haven't called since I had to leave and I'm sorry I couldn't tell you where I was going. Mission parameters, you know how it is. Is everything ok?"

Iruka took a shaky breath and looked down at the phone cord wrapped around his fingers. "Ah, Kakashi, I'm glad you're okay," he whispered before swallowing carefully. "You're ok…" His fingers fidgeted with the springy cord carefully tying it into knots before unwinding them and starting the process over again.

"Iruka," Kakashi questioned, his voice not even close to hiding the hurting curiosity of his words. "Is something wrong?"

"There's something I have to tell you, Kakashi," Iruka began, his voice growing more confident with each word. The silver haired ninja felt his gut clench in fear. There was no way this was going to be good.

"Ah," he scratched carefully at the fresh scar over his ANBU tattoo and waited for the words he'd been expecting. Kakashi's expectations were never disappointed; it was something he found highly… disappointing.

Iruka's silence was long and the jounin began to wonder if he'd lost the call. It was so quiet that when the chuunin's voice finally came down the line it had Kakashi's full attention. "Do-don't come home," the voice he loved so much begged him.

Kakashi squinted out into the surrounding darkness as an icy grip tightened around his heart. "Why?" He tried, he really did. He tried to keep his voice steady but there was still a slight hitch in it that betrayed the fear he felt.

There was a soft sob on the other end and Kakashi grabbed the only thing handy. His grip tightened around the kunai he'd palmed and he tried to focus all of his emotion into the small piece of folded steel. "Why? Iruka, why?"

"I won't be here," the brunette whispered fiercely, shocking Kakashi enough that he almost dropped the phone. "I won't be here; I'll be with… someone else. He's great, he's here for me, and he doesn't take long missions without saying a word to me. He's, he's great…" Iruka's voice softened as he talked about this new man, it softened the way it used to when he talked about Kakashi, but not anymore.

He was never really surprised when his partners decided to replace him. It was the natural order of things for Kakashi. But Iruka… He was supposed to be different; he was supposed to know that the mission was what Kakashi cared about most, what he could never refuse. Iruka was supposed to understand how important that was to him. How important it was to Kakashi to not end up like his father.

But maybe the dark haired chuunin had never really understood. Maybe he had expected to become as important to Kakashi. Maybe if he'd stayed with Kakashi a little longer he would have gotten to where his expectations where never disappointed. They were never disappointed because he had none.

"I'm sorry I let it go this far," Kakashi trailed off as his mind chose this moment to remind him of all his favorite things about the dark haired man. "There's so much I'll miss about you." He'd have to get really drunk later to wash them away, and even then… He looked down at the kunai still fisted in his hand.

"Kakashi," Iruka hesitated as though afraid of the next words to come out of his mouth.

"It's alright, Iruka. If I hurry I can still meet up with my team for the rest of the mission. It's okay. I gotta go now, baby. If I hurry…I can still meet them." He looked down at the phone in his hand and sighed regretfully before dropping it and walking away. He was always walking away.

Kakashi summoned his chakra for the long distance run he was gonna have to make and grunted as his wounds reacted. He might not even make it there. He ran. He ran away from the sound of Iruka's voice but in the wind he could still here that soft voice tell him not to come home. Maybe Iruka would get his wish.

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