Deep Within
By Nananashi-silence
A/N Hi, I wrote this fic while my boyfriend and me were having a lot of problems. For once this fic is not yaoi even though that is my favorite type of fic. Umm. I don't really have anything else to say. Hugs to Erika for betaing this fic for me, and also for being there for me through all my problems. This fic is dedicated to Adam, not that he will read it.
Warnings: language, drug usage, sexual situations, angst, depression. Blood sucking, (vampire behavior) this is a 1x2 fic and duo is a girl. If you have a problem with that, don't read. Also. Its from Duo's POV at the beginning, but that might change. Also, any of the situations that I put the characters in (namely duo) are situations that I myself have been in, or currently am in. I do not condone the behavior in this fic; I know how bad it has screwed my life up.
Legalities: I do not own gundam wing. If I did I would not be writing fanfics, and I would have a computer that DOESN'T crash every five seconds. (Hits computer with a baseball bat) well, now that the legal issues are out of the way, here's the fic. (Also, again just for the sake of not getting arrested, I do not condone the drug usage or anything else illegal in the fic.)
(.) Thoughts /./ Sounds "." Spoken words -.- Dreams
Chapter 1: Silent Suffering
Duo lay in her room, staring at the sealing. She felt as though she was sinking, and she couldn't swim back up that extra inch, just to get a breath of air. A silent tear fell from her eye, and she ignored it as it trailed down her cheek and landed in her long locks of auburn hair that lay crumpled beneath her in tangled masses from being neglected the proper care for so long. She stirred from her place on the bed for a moment, and turned on her radio, which now blared tunes from an old 20th century band called Metallica. She lay back down on the bed and assumed the position she had previously lying in as if she hadn't even moved. Her sunken features we accented by the candles she had lit amongst her room, and her eyes were like glass, no emotions, no depth. She looked into the mirror beside her bed and stared into her violet eyes, she had grown so grotesque over the past few years, and bottomless depression would do that to you though. She looked away from her face in the mirror was it even her face anymore? Her perfect features had long ago disappeared, replacing themselves with the skeletal ghost of a face before her now. She lifted a frail hand and placed it on her stomach, feeling it rumble slightly, then die, she rubbed her hands up higher till she felt the arch of her ribs, she was literally a skeleton.
She shed another tear and whispered to herself. " Ashiteru.I hope this lets you know how much you hurt me.Heero Yuy."
Duo then closed her eyes and reached for the blade that lay beside her bed. She lay, blade poised above her throat, and as she thought about it.she didn't want to deal with all of the physical pain, she would just have to find a way to numb it. Just as she was about to go to the bathroom to look for a "happy pill" the phone rang.answering it, wondering who would dare call a recluse like herself.she said.
"Hello?" And heard a soft mumbled voice and then Quatre came onto the phone, her voice sounded so sweet and happy, it made duo sick.
" Hi Duo!!! I wanted to know if you wanted to come down and spend the weekend with me and Trowa and Wufei!! Its Trowa and my wedding party, I would really appreciate it if you would come!"
She sounded so cheerful, how could Duo ever break her heart, but one and the same, it would break Quatres heart more to see her like this so Duo said instead.
" Oh Quatre! I'm so sorry! I don't know if I can make it. I/"
Quatre cut her off, and with a sniffle and a sob. " I-I understand.if you can't come, but.I just really wanted to see you there, in that beautiful dress I sent you.please!!!"
Duo sighed, she couldn't break Quatre's heart. it was her wedding after all.
"Alright Quatre, ill come.when should I be there?"
" Oh YAY! Well, if you can make it to my mansion on L2 by tomorrow around noon that would be wonderful! I want to catch up with you before the wedding! Thank you so much duo! Love you! Bye!!"
Quatre hung up the phone and duo sighed again, (that girl, she just doesn't know when to quit) Duo threw herself back onto the bed, and turned the music back on. This time, she began the CD with Metallica Fade to Black (the perfect song to kill myself by)
Duo knew that she had promised Quatre that she would show up to the wedding, but she didn't want them all to see her like this. It would hurt them less if they didn't see her, then, they wouldn't be able to stop what she was about to do. All these thoughts running through her head, she lifted the blade again, and stuck it in her back pocket. (I still don't want to deal with the pain. Time to go find something fun) she then went to her bathroom, finding nothing, she got into her car, after placing the knife in a safe place and drove downtown in search of Cal. He would know exactly what to give her.
Smiling as she saw his car, she parked beside it and walked around to the back of the club. Spotting him in the midst of smoke and beer, she walked to him and placed her hand on his shoulder.
"hey Cal, long time no see, whatcha been up to?" She gave a meek smile and he looked at her, then smiled sadly.
"You don't look to good sweetie, what has been going on? I know what will make you feel better though. Come with me."
Duo followed him, knowing that he would give her the best that he had.
"that's actually part of why I came here to find you."
He looked at her and raised his eyebrow, then brushed his long black hair out of his eyes, and smiled at her.
"Part of the reason? What was the other part?"
"What? Cant a girl come and see her good buddy for a change? I haven't seen you around in a while and I wanted to see what you've been up to."
She smirked and then handed her a bag of white powder. She smiled at him and said..
"I'm gonna need more than that, I'm going to L2 for a few weeks to visit with some friends for their wedding, and L2 is drug free. Gimme some smokes and a pipe, and some pills to. I'm gonna buy in bulk this time."
He raised his eyebrow again and kissed her cheek. "Why don't you bring me with you love? You know we don't get to spend enough time together unless it's over a deal. I want to spend time with you.'
She sighed; he would come even if she didn't say yes, so she gave in without a fight.
"Alright, I'm gonna need all the support I can get anyway."
He handed her the items and then hopped into his car and waived goodbye to the people he had been with, they waved back and then he drove off behind Duo.
(that idiot, he doesn't know what he's getting into. I know what he really wants, but why does he want it from a fucked up girl like me? What does he possible see in this skeletal form that I inhabit)
as duo thought these things over she led Cal to her home. (I hope he will be able to handle what he will find. "I don't want him to see it. I think Ill have him wait outside for me. That way I can get my bag and such, and he will never have to see what is inside.)
Just then the pulled into her driveway, she left her car running and got out. Then turning to Cal as he opened his door she yelled out.
"Stay out here, I wont be long!"
He stepped back into his car, and smiled as she entered the house. She closed the door and stared at everything inside. Then went to her room and pulled out a small bag, throwing some jeans and a few t-shirts in along with a sweater she walked back out into the living room. Then pulling another case out, she threw her knife into it along with all of her medical supplies.
She walked back out to the car and found Cal standing beside it waiting for her with a Joint in his mouth.
"Why don't we take my car. That way we don't have to keep all my supplies in yours."
She smiled at him and agreed to take his car. Then she threw her things into the trunk and closed it roughly. Climbing into the front seat she looked at him and he leaned over and brushed her cheek.
"You look so beautiful sitting here in this car with me.I."
he didn't finish his sentence, instead he leaned in and kissed her softly on the lips. Duo was in shock and didn't pull away, only stared at him as he removed his lips from hers.
"Wh-what was that for? You shouldn't have.why?"
he stared into her eyes and then kissed her again, then turning away swiftly he said.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that.I know you don't think of me that way..I shouldn't have even attempte---"
She cut him off by pressing her lips to his and then pulling away she smiled at him and said.
"Lets get going, we have to be there by noon."
He looked at her quizzically and then started the car, pulling out of the driveway and heading toward the shuttle bay.
A/N hehe, I know that chapter was kind of boring, but what can I say.its leading up to better stuff, keep reading and I promise that it will get better!! Um, the character Cal is of my own creation, I think, if he isn't I'm sorry; I had no idea I stole someone's character. Well, so much for that chapter, I want reviews please!! I don't get to many of those!! Thanks to Erika for reading over this chapter for me! Read her fic Called "wedding Preparations" she's really good at what she does!!
By Nananashi-silence
A/N Hi, I wrote this fic while my boyfriend and me were having a lot of problems. For once this fic is not yaoi even though that is my favorite type of fic. Umm. I don't really have anything else to say. Hugs to Erika for betaing this fic for me, and also for being there for me through all my problems. This fic is dedicated to Adam, not that he will read it.
Warnings: language, drug usage, sexual situations, angst, depression. Blood sucking, (vampire behavior) this is a 1x2 fic and duo is a girl. If you have a problem with that, don't read. Also. Its from Duo's POV at the beginning, but that might change. Also, any of the situations that I put the characters in (namely duo) are situations that I myself have been in, or currently am in. I do not condone the behavior in this fic; I know how bad it has screwed my life up.
Legalities: I do not own gundam wing. If I did I would not be writing fanfics, and I would have a computer that DOESN'T crash every five seconds. (Hits computer with a baseball bat) well, now that the legal issues are out of the way, here's the fic. (Also, again just for the sake of not getting arrested, I do not condone the drug usage or anything else illegal in the fic.)
(.) Thoughts /./ Sounds "." Spoken words -.- Dreams
Chapter 1: Silent Suffering
Duo lay in her room, staring at the sealing. She felt as though she was sinking, and she couldn't swim back up that extra inch, just to get a breath of air. A silent tear fell from her eye, and she ignored it as it trailed down her cheek and landed in her long locks of auburn hair that lay crumpled beneath her in tangled masses from being neglected the proper care for so long. She stirred from her place on the bed for a moment, and turned on her radio, which now blared tunes from an old 20th century band called Metallica. She lay back down on the bed and assumed the position she had previously lying in as if she hadn't even moved. Her sunken features we accented by the candles she had lit amongst her room, and her eyes were like glass, no emotions, no depth. She looked into the mirror beside her bed and stared into her violet eyes, she had grown so grotesque over the past few years, and bottomless depression would do that to you though. She looked away from her face in the mirror was it even her face anymore? Her perfect features had long ago disappeared, replacing themselves with the skeletal ghost of a face before her now. She lifted a frail hand and placed it on her stomach, feeling it rumble slightly, then die, she rubbed her hands up higher till she felt the arch of her ribs, she was literally a skeleton.
She shed another tear and whispered to herself. " Ashiteru.I hope this lets you know how much you hurt me.Heero Yuy."
Duo then closed her eyes and reached for the blade that lay beside her bed. She lay, blade poised above her throat, and as she thought about it.she didn't want to deal with all of the physical pain, she would just have to find a way to numb it. Just as she was about to go to the bathroom to look for a "happy pill" the phone rang.answering it, wondering who would dare call a recluse like herself.she said.
"Hello?" And heard a soft mumbled voice and then Quatre came onto the phone, her voice sounded so sweet and happy, it made duo sick.
" Hi Duo!!! I wanted to know if you wanted to come down and spend the weekend with me and Trowa and Wufei!! Its Trowa and my wedding party, I would really appreciate it if you would come!"
She sounded so cheerful, how could Duo ever break her heart, but one and the same, it would break Quatres heart more to see her like this so Duo said instead.
" Oh Quatre! I'm so sorry! I don't know if I can make it. I/"
Quatre cut her off, and with a sniffle and a sob. " I-I understand.if you can't come, but.I just really wanted to see you there, in that beautiful dress I sent you.please!!!"
Duo sighed, she couldn't break Quatre's heart. it was her wedding after all.
"Alright Quatre, ill come.when should I be there?"
" Oh YAY! Well, if you can make it to my mansion on L2 by tomorrow around noon that would be wonderful! I want to catch up with you before the wedding! Thank you so much duo! Love you! Bye!!"
Quatre hung up the phone and duo sighed again, (that girl, she just doesn't know when to quit) Duo threw herself back onto the bed, and turned the music back on. This time, she began the CD with Metallica Fade to Black (the perfect song to kill myself by)
Duo knew that she had promised Quatre that she would show up to the wedding, but she didn't want them all to see her like this. It would hurt them less if they didn't see her, then, they wouldn't be able to stop what she was about to do. All these thoughts running through her head, she lifted the blade again, and stuck it in her back pocket. (I still don't want to deal with the pain. Time to go find something fun) she then went to her bathroom, finding nothing, she got into her car, after placing the knife in a safe place and drove downtown in search of Cal. He would know exactly what to give her.
Smiling as she saw his car, she parked beside it and walked around to the back of the club. Spotting him in the midst of smoke and beer, she walked to him and placed her hand on his shoulder.
"hey Cal, long time no see, whatcha been up to?" She gave a meek smile and he looked at her, then smiled sadly.
"You don't look to good sweetie, what has been going on? I know what will make you feel better though. Come with me."
Duo followed him, knowing that he would give her the best that he had.
"that's actually part of why I came here to find you."
He looked at her and raised his eyebrow, then brushed his long black hair out of his eyes, and smiled at her.
"Part of the reason? What was the other part?"
"What? Cant a girl come and see her good buddy for a change? I haven't seen you around in a while and I wanted to see what you've been up to."
She smirked and then handed her a bag of white powder. She smiled at him and said..
"I'm gonna need more than that, I'm going to L2 for a few weeks to visit with some friends for their wedding, and L2 is drug free. Gimme some smokes and a pipe, and some pills to. I'm gonna buy in bulk this time."
He raised his eyebrow again and kissed her cheek. "Why don't you bring me with you love? You know we don't get to spend enough time together unless it's over a deal. I want to spend time with you.'
She sighed; he would come even if she didn't say yes, so she gave in without a fight.
"Alright, I'm gonna need all the support I can get anyway."
He handed her the items and then hopped into his car and waived goodbye to the people he had been with, they waved back and then he drove off behind Duo.
(that idiot, he doesn't know what he's getting into. I know what he really wants, but why does he want it from a fucked up girl like me? What does he possible see in this skeletal form that I inhabit)
as duo thought these things over she led Cal to her home. (I hope he will be able to handle what he will find. "I don't want him to see it. I think Ill have him wait outside for me. That way I can get my bag and such, and he will never have to see what is inside.)
Just then the pulled into her driveway, she left her car running and got out. Then turning to Cal as he opened his door she yelled out.
"Stay out here, I wont be long!"
He stepped back into his car, and smiled as she entered the house. She closed the door and stared at everything inside. Then went to her room and pulled out a small bag, throwing some jeans and a few t-shirts in along with a sweater she walked back out into the living room. Then pulling another case out, she threw her knife into it along with all of her medical supplies.
She walked back out to the car and found Cal standing beside it waiting for her with a Joint in his mouth.
"Why don't we take my car. That way we don't have to keep all my supplies in yours."
She smiled at him and agreed to take his car. Then she threw her things into the trunk and closed it roughly. Climbing into the front seat she looked at him and he leaned over and brushed her cheek.
"You look so beautiful sitting here in this car with me.I."
he didn't finish his sentence, instead he leaned in and kissed her softly on the lips. Duo was in shock and didn't pull away, only stared at him as he removed his lips from hers.
"Wh-what was that for? You shouldn't have.why?"
he stared into her eyes and then kissed her again, then turning away swiftly he said.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that.I know you don't think of me that way..I shouldn't have even attempte---"
She cut him off by pressing her lips to his and then pulling away she smiled at him and said.
"Lets get going, we have to be there by noon."
He looked at her quizzically and then started the car, pulling out of the driveway and heading toward the shuttle bay.
A/N hehe, I know that chapter was kind of boring, but what can I say.its leading up to better stuff, keep reading and I promise that it will get better!! Um, the character Cal is of my own creation, I think, if he isn't I'm sorry; I had no idea I stole someone's character. Well, so much for that chapter, I want reviews please!! I don't get to many of those!! Thanks to Erika for reading over this chapter for me! Read her fic Called "wedding Preparations" she's really good at what she does!!
