Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto in any way, shape, form, or mass. If I did Sakura would be dead.
Well this is my first story on Will I make it? Well… that's up to you
It was a normal, ordinary day for the Akatsuki. There were no battles, no crazy chases after Jinchiuriki, nor Akatsuki members dead… yet…
But still an ordinary day for the Akatsuki was one heck of a day for any normal person. Even breakfast was an ordeal that would cause any ordinary person to go insane. But the Akatsuki members were not ordinary, or normal, or social. Some weren't even human! And so the happy days of the Akatsuki began...
It all started at 3:00 AM Sunday; while Hidan was praying, and Deidara was out on the town (meaning that he went to some fancy art show to display his works and blew everyone up when they said his art was bad). The rest of the members were having a late night session watching reruns of Star Trek: The Next Generation.
" The original is way better than this, " said Kakuzu. " Kirk rules!" Itachi glared at the tentacle-person thing, and he almost instantly shut up.
"Besides, " said Pein haughtily. "Everyone knows that Deep Space Nine was the best one, am I right?" Everyone nodded, not wanting to anger their most powerful, glorious, and handsome leader. (Even the author is scared of him).
Zetsu watched for a few more seconds, then turned to Kakuzu, who was trying to take a wallet left on the kitchen counter. His tentacles were seconds from reaching it, when Itachi suddenly spun, a kunai whistling through the air! Kakuzu screamed like a little girl and fainted when the kunai ripped off the tentacle, forgetting he could just re-attach it with his strings.
Itachi laughed evilly, forgetting his asthma and began to cough uncontrollably, hacking up spit and spraying Zetsu, who for some reason related to photosynthesis, liked it. The coughing caused Kisame, who actually enjoyed The Next Generation, to get irritated and turn up the volume, so Picard's voice boomed throughout the room.
"SOME ONE TURN THAT THING OFF!" Came the shout of Hidan from the "smoke" room as the Akatsuki called it. Before the Akatsuki took the base, the room had been a drug storage room. Hidan said that the scent was very similar to that of his temple which should tell you… something…
"AH SHUT UP DRUGGIE!" Kisame decided to turn up the volume more just to annoy Hidan. A giant explosion on screen rocked the whole base, and caused children for miles around to wake up suddenly, with their eyes eerily wide and horror music playing, a howling noise filling their ears, the scent of death-
"Stop it with the Edgar Allen Poe knock off Zetsu!" Came the Authors voice from somewhere below them. All of the Akatsuki members looked around in shock for a few seconds (Except for Pein, who owned the Author and all his miserable fanfics) and then shrugged and went back to being, er, normal.
Hidan burst into the room, reeking of crack, and pointed his weird three-bladed scythe at Kisame. "Stop interrupting my holy sniffing of holy powder!" Tobi started laughing, while Pein made a mental note to run a scan of Hidan's room with Itachi.
"And who's going to make me?" Kisame taunted. Suddenly the three-bladed scythe was in Hidan's arm, causing Kisame to scream out in pain with his arm bleeding. Suddenly, Kakuzu woke up and weakly whimpered in Hidan's direction. "Hidan you moron, my blood is still being used for that ritual!" And then Kakuzu fainted like a girl again.
Pein watched Kisame and Hidan trade insults and bodily harm, until another explosion rocked the base, and suddenly Pein snapped.
"All of you stop… or you DIE!!!" Suddenly, lightning started forming in the sky, and everything around Pein suddenly burst into a pink flame. Even the author started cowering as he wrote what happened next.
"Hurry people!", the scared author cried from below them. " Kiss and make up!" There was a short pause. "Gross not what you're thinking Zetsu!" --
And so Hidan and Kisame quickly stopped fighting. Itachi stopped coughing, because Pein is just that powerful! Kakuzu dragged himself into a closet and fainted again so Pein wouldn't annihilate him for making the floor look messy. Sasori, who hadn't been doing anything but didn't want to die, volunteered to cook breakfast. Zetsu even agreed to help Tobi with his math homework!
And so Pein calmed down, gave Tobi his math homework, and went to bed. Everyone went off to do their duty or go to sleep of sniff "holy powder". The author sighed in relief, and went to bed as well. All was fine… for all of 10 minutes…
Well that's my intro/first chapter! Please R&R, I don't mind flames, but constructive criticism is prefered.
