NAME: Kirk Baldridge

EMAIL:

TITLE: Love and Vampires

DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of these characters, names, places, etc. They all belong to Kim Harrison, and I would just like to take this opportunity to thank her for creating them.

FANDOM: The Hollows

PAIRING: Rachel/Ivy

RATING: R (Though not overall R, there are several explicit scenes)

SUMMARY: Two different views of how both Rachel and Ivy finally get what they want.

SPOILER: Set an unspecified amount of time after FOR A FEW DEMONS MORE.

CHAPTER 1 – Rachel's Day

'Home sweet home.'

I shut my engine off and stared longingly at the church. I was glad to see it, because to be honest there had been a couple of times this evening I wasn't sure I ever would again.

The run hadn't exactly gone according to plan. I shook my head. That was an understatement.

It damn near killed me.

Instead of a Warlock, my target turned out to be a Were, and more than that he was an alpha, so he was damn strong. All the charms I had with me were intended to counter magic, not take down a pissed off wolf. He even got my splat gun away from me. If it hadn't been for Jenks coming in at the last moment to distract him, I wouldn't be here. I was able to tap a ley line and used it to knock him across the parking lot, and then it was just a matter of waiting for Glenn to show up and take him into custody. I let the FIB take care of turning him over to the I.S.; I didn't want to have anything more to do with them if I could avoid it.

Besides, I just wanted to go home.

As a thank you, I stopped by the grocery store and bought Jenks a restaurant sized package of honey packets. I left them by the stump while he went inside to see Matalina and his kids. Then it occurred to me I had left my splat gun in the car, and while retrieving it, I noticed there were two motorcycles in the driveway. One was Ivy's, of course, but I didn't recognize the other.

'Guess we have company.'

I really wasn't in the mood for outsiders. I just wanted to find Ivy and go to bed. In spite of myself, my cheeks reddened. I hadn't meant that the way it sounded but my mind conjured the image anyway. I frowned. It had happened occasionally after she kissed me to show me what I could have if I wanted, but then Kisten died and I wasn't thinking about kissing anyone at all. Now three months had passed since some undead vamp killed him and while I wasn't over him, a part of me was apparently ready to start moving on, because my thoughts kept returning to Ivy and me. 'Damn it.' I couldn't figure it out. I was straight. Wasn't I?

My entire life, I had only ever been attracted to men. Sure, I had seen women from time to time I thought were pretty, even gorgeous, but not once was I ever physically attracted to any of them. Then I met Ivy Tamwood; the living vampire who was my partner at the I.S. From the first time I laid eyes on her I thought she was the most exotic creature I had ever seen. Later, after we started living and working together, and I got my first vamp scars, albeit from a demon in disguise, our relationship began to get complicated. I kept getting turned on whenever I was around her but it was never clear if it was because of Ivy herself, or the pheromones she released because she wanted me. Ivy was bi, and I was straight. Then I was with Kisten, and started to see vampires and myself in a new light. After everything that happened, I decided that I wasn't attracted to women, but there was a very real probability I was attracted to Ivy.

Sighing, I headed inside. I tell myself, whoever is here, it's not my problem. If it turns out to be a new client, Jenks and Ivy can take care of the details and fill me in later. If it's anything else I'll worry about it after I've had a good night's sleep, a hot shower, and some coffee. Not necessarily in that order. As soon as I open the front door, I am hit square in the face with vampire pheromones that stop me dead in my tracks as my scars flare to life, sending the heat flooding straight to my core. 'God. What is she…' As I step cautiously inside I hear sounds coming from the living room, and my face flushes as I realize to whom the second motorcycle must belong. 'Skimmer.' I hadn't seen the other living vampire since she was put on trial for killing Piscary, where Ivy testified on her behalf and she eventually got off on a technicality. The last I heard she was supposed to be helping Rynn Cormel transition into taking over the other master vamp's territory, but I guess she had come back for Ivy, and I couldn't say I blamed her. 'It's none of my business.'

I went to bed.

The next morning I stumble into the kitchen, lured by the delightful scent of roasting coffee. It's not the blend we normally use, I can tell that right away, so I'm curious. I notice a figure moving around with remarkable speed and grace, as only living vampires can, but when she pauses for a moment, I catch a glimpse of long blond hair, not black.

"Oh." Subconsciously, I check the tie of my robe. "Hi."

Skimmer grins. "Hi yourself." I notice she is wearing one of the nightshirts I bought Ivy and, as she reaches for the bread in the upper cabinet, it lifts a bit too high, nothing else. "I didn't wake you, did I? I know witches keep different hours but I wanted to make V breakfast. Where do you keep the brown sugar?" I point to the pantry. "Thanks."

I roll my eyes as soon as her back is to me. 'Does she have to be so damn perky?' Then I think about what she and Ivy were up to and my cheeks redden. I would be perky too. As she emerges from the pantry, I catch a whiff of pheromones. Not a holdover from last night, they usually dissipate pretty quickly. "Uh, Skimmer?" Her eyes are black. "You okay?"

"You saw us." Skimmer's voice is low and gray, like Ivy's often gets, and my scars tingle. "Didn't you?" I can't tell if she's doing it on purpose or not, so I just nod. "You're a voyeur, Morgan? I had no idea." Her eyes lighten, though I can still see rings of black. "Maybe we should invite you in to play one night. I'm sure V would like that."

I relax, a little. She's not angry. She's also not kidding. Kisten used to say the same thing, and we had talked about it. For vampires, multiple blood and bed partners were the norm. It kept things exciting. I wasn't wired that way. 'Of course, once upon a time I couldn't imagine being attracted to a woman and adamantly proclaimed no vamp would ever taste my blood, so maybe I should keep an open mind.' The image of Ivy and Skimmer and I in bed together did flash through me but I refused to give her the satisfaction of knowing it so I focused instead on pouring a cup of coffee. "Gonna be in town long?" 'Smooth, Rache.'

Chuckling, as if she knows what I'm thinking anyway, Skimmer shrugs and returns to making breakfast. "Not sure yet. Cormel's paperwork is done. He officially took ownership of the last of Piscary's holdings yesterday. I think he's planning to move into the restaurant. All that's left now is for him to decide if he wants me to be in his camarilla."

"Good for him. And you." I don't know if sounds sincere or not, and I don't really care. "And Ivy, I assume?"

"Hope so. I've missed her so much these last couple of months."

I feel like I should say something profound here, but I can't think of anything so I just nod instead. I'm conflicted. I have nothing against Skimmer, hell, in a lot of ways, I really like her, and I know she and Ivy are good together, I've seen it with my own two eyes, but a part of me is jealous. Which I know is stupid. I have no right to be, and no real reason, but I can't help it. 'Damn it, I have to figure this out or it's going to drive me crazy.' Skimmer and I both turn as Ivy wanders into the kitchen with a big smile on her face directed at the other living vampire, then she sees me and freezes in her tracks. Somehow, I find my voice. "Morning."

"Morning." Her vaguely almond-shaped brown eyes rimmed with black, Ivy glances from me, to Skimmer and back again, and I can tell she's trying to figure out what to say. There seems to be a lot of that going around. "Rachel…"

I save her the trouble. "Skimmer and I were just discussing breakfast."

"That's right, V." Skimmer wraps her arms around Ivy's neck. "I know you must be starving."

As she leans in to kiss her, I close my eyes. 'Bitch.'

Needless to say, breakfast is somewhat tense, at least for two of us.

I'm uncomfortable, seeing them sitting so close and holding hands, and Ivy appears to be both nervous and oddly guilty, unless I'm reading her wrong. Skimmer is either oblivious, or wholly unconcerned.

At one point the blonde's cell phone rang and she went into the other room to answer it. Ivy and I kept stealing glances at each other but neither of us knew what to say, so we remained silent until Skimmer came back.

"Sorry, V. That's was Cormel's people. Apparently, the man has some issues he needs addressed. I gotta go." She trailed her fingers into Ivy's hair then pulled her head back in a playful vampire manner and kissed her. "Love you."

Once she was gone, leaving Ivy and I alone for real, I figured one of us had to break the awkward silence, and I knew from experience it wasn't going to be Ivy. "So, you and Skimmer, huh?" Inwardly, I swore at myself. That might not be the stupidest thing I had ever said, but I was ready to put it somewhere pretty high on this list. "You seem happy."

Ivy shrugged. "She…it's complicated."

"Hey, feel free to tell me to butt out, but if you ever want to talk…" I put my hand on hers. I know she must be calm and sated, because she doesn't even flinch or try to pull away. "…I'm here for you."

This doesn't engender the reaction I'm expecting. Ivy slips her hand out from under mine and leans back, crossing her arms over her chest in a familiar protective gesture. "Rachel, please don't. I can't handle this right now."

"What?" I know I'm probably giving off signals. I don't care. Something's bothering her and I want to help, but if the problem turns out to be me then I might just end up making the situation worse. "Ivy, come on, talk to me."

"Skimmer showed up last night. I wasn't actually looking, but she can be very…persuasive."

I smile as Ivy blushes. It makes her look even prettier, if that's possible. "You don't owe me an explanation on that."

"Yes I do. I should have warned you. This is your house too."

"Oh." Is that what she's worried about? Territory? I thought it was something else. 'Like us.' I shake my head. "Don't worry about it." I reach across the table and cup her cheek, smiling as she leans into it. I can also smell the vampire incense coming from her, but for once, I don't shy away from it. My scar's not tingling and my eyes are still brown. "I saw you when you came in, Ivy. You were smiling. Hell, you were glowing. I haven't seen you this happy is a long time, and if Skimmer is what you want, who am I to stand in the way?" Pain flashes across Ivy's face. It's only there for a fraction of a second before her usual façade kicks in, but I've known her long enough to recognize it. 'Turn take it. Is she actually expecting me to fight for her? Should I?'

"She makes me feel good," Ivy finally says. "As a vampire and as a woman. We were always good together." Ivy sighs. "I don't know what the future holds. I just know that for the first time in my life, I like where I am." Her brow furrows as she stares directly into my eyes. "But every time you look at me, it hurts, because I see what I always wanted."

I blink. 'Wanted? Past tense?' I try not to look as surprised and disappointed as I feel. "Ivy, I'm sorry."

Ivy shakes her head. "It's not your fault. I know you don't do it on purpose. I told before that I was ready and willing if you ever wanted to…but you didn't. You made it perfectly clear." She stands up. "I got the message." With that, the conversation is apparently over. She turns and walks out of the room, leaving me to my own thoughts.

'Crap on toast. Now what am I suppose to do?'

I'm not sure how much time has passed, but I'm still sitting there, still trying to get a handle on my emotions, on my thoughts about Ivy and Skimmer, when I hear a loud, shrill voice coming from the other room.

"Tinks' panties! It stinks in here!"

Pixies have an even better sense of smell than vampires. He probably tasted the incense the moment he came in the church, but unless he specifically recognizes Skimmer's scent, he'll just assume Ivy and I had a fight.

"Witch!" Jenks lands on my shoulder and strikes his best Peter Pan pose. "What did you do?"

'I knew he was going to say that.' His presumption annoys me, even if it does happen to be true, some of the time. Okay, so maybe most of the time. Still, I huff. "What makes you think it was me?"

Jenks rolls his eyes as if I just insulted him. "Rache, I love you like an oversized, redheaded daughter, but let's face it. Sometimes your decisions stink worse than fairy farts. Did you turn her on and then push her away again? Don't tell me you're trying to get her to bite you again? I mean, seriously Rache, you know it's too hard for her because she loves you."

I slap both my hands down on the counter and he jumps off my shoulder, hovering a few feet over my head. I glare up at him. "You stupid little insect! You think you're so perceptive? Try this on for size. Skimmer was here. She and Ivy had sex in the living room. That's what you smell. It has nothing to do with me! Do you hear me? Nothing!" Okay, so that last bit came out a little more vehemently than I intended. I guess my feelings for Ivy, whatever the hell they may be, are closer to the surface than I thought.

Jenks' wings flash black. "Damn." He lands back on my shoulder. "Sorry, Rache." He's silent for a few moments, and I imagine I can hear the tiny little gears turning as he tries to figure out what to say. There really was a lot of that going around. That was better than just blurting stuff out I suppose, but damn it to the Turn, it's frustrating. "You okay?"

I don't bother trying to hide my surprise. I know he can see it in my aura. "Wait, what?"

"You stupid witch. You don't think I've noticed the way you've been staring at her lately? I know what's going on in that twisted little chunk of ever after you call a brain. Losing Kisten put it on the back burner for a while, but it always comes back to Ivy. You keep thinking about her kissing you, and more, and now that you're finally coming to terms with the fact it doesn't scares you nearly as much as you thought it would she up and moves on with Skimmer. You never did have the best timing, huh?"

My shoulders slump as I realize he's right. "Damn it, Jenks. What am I going to do?"

"That's up to you, Rache. Just answer me this. Was she happy? When you saw her with Skimmer?" I nod. "And when was the last time you saw her like that? Ever?" I shrug. "Yeah. Face it. Kisten's death hit her just as hard as it did you. I don't think either of you guys would have gotten through it without the other one there for support. Now it looks like she's finally starting to live again, and it's about damn time. You don't want to stand in her way, do you? If you love her, I mean, if you can really give her what she needs, what both of you need, by all means fight for her. Literally, if need be. In oil, perhaps." He pauses. "I'd pay to see that." I shake my head as he continues. "But if you've made you mind up the other way, if that's just not how you're wired, fine, then damn it let her go. Whether you meant to do it or not you've been stringing her along for years and frankly, she deserves a clean break. You both do."

I wipe my eyes. 'Damn it.' I don't want to cry in front of Jenks. "How does someone so tiny see so much?" I find myself wishing, not for the first time, the pixie were full-sized so I could give him a hug.

"Look, Rache. You know I care about both of you. I don't like seeing you guys in pain. I'll back your play, whatever you decide, just don't take too long, or as you've seen the whole damn thing will be taken out of your hands."

I nod.

I have the church to myself for a change.

Jenks, Matalina, and the kids are all over at Keasley's, helping Ceri in the garden. Not surprisingly, elves and pixies get along really well because of their mutual affinity for nature, but there are things about modern plants Ceri still doesn't understand. They are helping her cultivate the flowers while she shares the dew and honeysuckle.

Ivy is heading out on a run. As she puts on her jacket, she mentions she's meeting Skimmer afterward so she won't be back until late. I feel another stab of jealousy knife through me and I see her pause in the doorway with her back to me. 'Oh crap. I thought she was far enough away. Did she feel that?' When she turns, I breathe a sigh of relief. Her eyes are brown.

"Forgot my helmet." Ivy grabs it. "See you later." With that, she's gone.

I want to chase after her and ask her not to go, or just grab her and kiss her…okay where did that come from? I slump forward and drop my head in my hands. I hate my brain sometimes. It's clear I have feelings for Ivy. Hell, it's safe to say I love her. The question is, can I really be in love with her? Until a couple of years ago, I wouldn't have thought it possible to love a vampire, but I loved Kisten. Was loving a woman really harder for me to conceive? Why did it scare me so much?

Actually, I knew why. We had shared blood once, and she had kissed me once. Both times involved her pheromones playing on my vamp scars and messing with my emotions. The kiss had been deliberate, to show me what I was missing, but the other times she couldn't really help it; that was just what vampires did to calm their prey or excite their lover, and sometimes both at once. The problem was, now I wasn't sure how much of the lust I felt toward Ivy was vamp induced and how much was my subconscious trying to tell me something? I didn't want to make a mistake here. Our friendship meant too much to me. I wasn't willing to start something, only to break Ivy's heart because it wasn't real. I had hurt her too many times in the past and I didn't want to do that again.

"I need to clear my head." I decided to go for a run. I put on my sweat clothes and head to the zoo. It's early enough that it's closed to the public, and I recognize several faces in the area cordoned off for runners. I pause outside the nocturnal mammals building, which has a big black bat painted on the outside, and once again my thoughts once again turn to Ivy. It's silly, I know. Vampires have nothing to do with bats and many see it as insulting to suggest otherwise. I flashed back to few months ago, when all I could think about was finding a blood balance with her. I was trying to get Ivy to bite me again, but that wasn't how it turned out.

"Promise me," she said, running a finger across my neck to make my breath catch. "That this won't change anything. That you know it's a taste for you to try, and that I will do nothing to encourage you. I won't ever do it again unless you come to me. If you come to me. And don't come to me unless you want it all, Rachel. I can't do it any other way."

A taste. I had already tasted this, but I nodded, my eyelids closed. My breath came in a pant, and I held it, waiting. Aching for the feel of her teeth in me. "I promise."

"Keep your eyes shut," she breathed, and I almost moaned when her light touch upon my scars lit a path through me to my groin. I gasped, feeling the wall against my back and her grip on me tighten. My heart pounded, and anticipation coiled deeper, tighter.

The softness oh her small lips on mine went almost unnoticed until her hand left my scars and crept to the back of my neck to hold me unmoving. I froze. 'She's kissing me?'

I was so confused at the time. Sure, I was turned on, but I was also aware Ivy had been deliberately playing with my scars. She wanted to excite me so it would be easier for me to handle what she was doing. Now, with hindsight, I realized I had been shocked, not horrified. Being kissed by Ivy didn't make me want to throw up or run away screaming, I wanted to pull her closer and stick my tongue in her mouth. I shivered at the memory of her breasts being crushed against mine. Her warmth and incense was so comforting. 'Damn it to the Turn!' If she had just kissed me and not played with my scars, this would have been so much easier.

"Rachel! Watch out!"

I'm startled out of my reverie by the sound of my name, but I make the mistake of turning to see who was calling me rather than at what they are warning me about. It's David. Before I can say anything, something hits me from behind and all the air is driven out of me even as I go tumbling into, and then over, a nearby bench. Instinctively I tap a line and begin spindling the ever after within me, anticipating that whoever or whatever has attacked me in preparing to finish the job. The air around me is crackling with energy, I imagine it's giving everyone quite a show, but I'm not about to go down without a fight.

A hand comes down on my shoulder. "Rachel." It's David again. "Look." He points to a young man, a human, trying to untangle himself from a bicycle. They're not supposed to be on the runner's path. "He ran into you by accident. Pull it back, Rachel." He's seen what I can do with my magic, and is worried about the other people in the zoo, not to mention the animals.

Am I really that intimidating? I let the line go but keep the energy spindled within me. I like to stay charged, so I will have the power available even if I am too far away from a ley line to tap it. "What're you doing here?"

Shrugging, David helps me to my feet. "Saving my Alpha's ass." David is a Were. I'm a Witch, but I'm still the Alpha of his pack. It's an insurance thing. "Rache? You okay? You seem more distracted than usual."

I laugh. He has no idea. "How long do you have?"

"D!" A young woman with short-cropped black hair, wearing tight blue spandex grabs his arm. "Come on." It's one of his pack mates and girlfriends. I forget her name. "We're gonna be late." She smiles as me. "Hi, Rachel."

"Hi."

"Come on. You promised we could watch them feed the wolves."

David shrugs. "Sorry, Rache."

"You guys have fun." I head for the exit. David is right. I'm too distracted to be around people right now, but I need to talk about Ivy and I to someone. As much as it scares me, I can only think of one person.

First, I go back to the church, to take a shower. I also dig through a box in my closet for the vampire-dating guide Ivy gave me shortly after we first moved in together. It was neither a hint, nor an invitation, as I had taken it at first, but rather way of her helping me to stop sending her mixed signals and our lives could be a little easier. I was just using it now to refresh my memory about how to dress around vampires, because I was planning to go meet one, and I didn't want to make any mistakes.

Natural instinct for dealing with vampires was to cover ones neck, but this was a mistake. Rather than keeping vampires at bay, it actually excited them, almost as much as an exposed neck with provocative jewelry. Dealing with vampires required a delicate balance, which I had eventually figured out, albeit the hard way. I chose a top that gave my flexibility, baring just enough of my neck to get their attention without being too inviting, and a crucifix Ivy had given me to ward off the undead.

On the other hand, because my vamp scars were unclaimed, any vampire could play on them. That made me vulnerable. I slipped into Ivy's room and borrowed one of her light jackets. I knew I would have to take it off and wash it before she got back, because mixing our scents like this had caused issues in the past, but for now I wanted her essence on me. First of all, it was strangely comforting, taking it in made me feel safer and, though I was hesitant to admit it, a little turned on, but also because it would make any other vampire who smelled it think I belonged to Ivy. Back when she was Piscary's scion that alone had been more than enough to keep me safe, and while it was no longer such a sure thing, I wanted the additional layer of protection.

Speaking of, I load up my splat gun with the strongest sleepy time charms I can mix. I'm not going to take it in with me of course. As much as I don't like the idea of walking into the lions den without it, there is no way they'll let me in armed. I settle for a few lesser sleep charms on a bracelet, they're better than nothing and I can use them one at a time or all at once if need be. I scoop up the dating guide and my gun and head for the door, only to run into Jenks.

"Hey Rache. Where you off to?"

"Uh, I'm going to meet a vampire, actually."

I see him note both my splat gun and the book. His tiny face is unreadable. "Uh huh. Not a social call, I take it?"

"Yes and no." He crosses his arms and scowls at me. He's annoyed, and I know he's not going to let it, or for that matter me, go until I tell him. "All right already. I'm going to Piscary's, Jenks." His wings darken and he flutters back. "I'm not looking for a fight or anything. I need to talk to someone…" I hold out my hand and he lands in it. "…else, about Ivy and me."

"So you've made up your mind? You gonna go for it or what?"

I sigh. "I don't know, Jenks. That's the problem. I love Ivy. Am I in love with her? Can I be? When she bit me, hell, when she kissed me, it made me feel so incredible. I need to know if it was just the pheromones and my scars, or if it was Ivy herself. I don't want to risk losing her if it's just a heat of the moment, but I'm really still straight thing. If it's for real though…"

Jenks nods. "So who're you going to see? Not Ivy, I presume, you don't need the gun for that. Skimmer?"

"Oh no." I chuckle nervously, recalling the last time Skimmer and I talked about Ivy and I. It ended with her attacking me in a fit of vampiric jealousy, and I only survived because she had no fighting skills to speak of. "That would be a bad idea."

"Then who?"

"If you must know, Rynn Cormel."

Jenks' wings stop moving, a sure sign of his astonishment. "Seriously?"

I nod. "He's in town. I figure if anyone would be able to help me tell the difference between lust and love for a vampire, it would be the man who literally wrote the book on the subject." Rynn Cormel is an undead vampire. He kept the world from falling apart during the Turn, was President, and is the author of the very dating guide I have in my hands. "You want to come?"

"To meet the President?" Jenks flies up and lands on my shoulder. "Tinks' titties, Rache. Let's go."

I sigh of relief washes through me as we head out the door. Going in without my splat gun made me nervous, but knowing Jenks is there to back me up makes me feel a hell of a lot better.

Piscary's.

I don't want to be here. Nothing good has ever happened here.

I have no choice though, if I want to see Rynn Cormel. Word around town is he plans to use the restaurant as his base of operations. I have no idea if that means reopen it for business or make it his own personal fortress, and I don't really care either way. Frankly, I would be perfectly happy never setting foot in this place again.

Nevertheless, I pull into the parking lot. It's empty, except for a motorcycle, but I know the private spaces are around back. I check myself in the mirror before getting out of the car, and Jenks dives off my shoulder.

"You'd might want to get a hold of yourself before you go in there, Rache."

I frown. "What are you talking about?"

"You stink of fear, witch. They'll smell it too. So unless you plan is to turn Rynn Cormel on…"

He's right. 'Damn it to the Turn!' I have to take a moment to collect myself, but I don't want to wait too long. The anticipation will just make things worse. "Maybe this isn't such a good idea."

"Of course not. It was yours." He's just trying to lighten the mood, but I can't find the courage to laugh. There's more truth in that than I want to admit. "We can leave any time you want."

I shake my head. "No. I need to do this. For my sake, and Ivy's."

"Speaking of, I've been meaning to ask." Jenks flies back to my shoulder. "Why do you smell like her?"

I tell him about the jacket. He starts laughing so hard he nearly falls off my shoulder. "What is it?"

"You gain strength from her scent. The thought of her makes you feel better. You sound like a shadow…" I pale. That's what you call people who are controlled by a vampire's will. "…and in a way, I guess you are, but here's the thing, Rache. It has nothing to do with her being a vampire. You're not blood bound. You are, however, bound to Ivy."

"How does this help?" I ask as we go inside. "I'm addicted to Ivy Tamwood. So what? Am I in love with her? I want to share my blood with her again, but what about my body? Do I want to have sex with her?" My cheeks flush. 'I do. Damn it. I want…no, I need, to have sex with her at least once, just to see how it makes me feel. Is that selfish?'

Jenks shrugs. "Only one way to find out."

"But that's the thing, Jenks. It's not that simple. This isn't like meeting some guy I may or may not be attracted to. I sleep with him, it doesn't work out, no big deal. I don't have to ever see him again. Ivy's my best friend. I love her. What happens if we sleep together and things go badly? I can't stand the thought of losing her, Jenks."

"You won't." Jenks dives off my shoulder and hovers in front of me. "There's no way you two wouldn't click. I mean, Tinks' titties, you already do. Think about it, Rache. At this point, it's the only thing you haven't done with each other. Now, whether hot witch on vampire mattress action translates to something more lasting…" He shrugs. "…hell if I know. It's been hanging between you for a while now. I think you should just get it over with, then you figure out the rest."

I nod. Jenks has given me something to think about. 'Is it really that simple?' Actually no. Ivy is back with Skimmer now. It occurs to me I may have missed my chance. Then incense fills the air and my scars begins to tingle. I resist the urge to touch it and turn my attention back to the restaurant. "Hello?" It's quieter than I expected, and I see the new owner is definitely making changes. All the furniture is gone, the tile has torn up, and half the walls are painted black. "Mr. Cormel?"

"No." I realize where I'd seen the motorcycle in the parking lot before. Skimmer slinks out of the shadows. "It's just us girls."

"Tinks' contractual hell!" Jenks darts toward her. "What are you doing here, lady? And I use that term loosely."

"Let's just say it involves legal briefs, and leave it at that."

"I'll bet." He yelps as Skimmer swats at him. "Hey!"

"I heard you." She's talking to me, but not actually looking at me. "Talking to the insect."

'Crap!' The last time Skimmer and I discussed Ivy, she accused me of trying to steal her and attacked me. 'Now she overhears me talking about wanting to have sex with Ivy?' I shake my head. "Skimmer, wait…"

The blonde vampire stops sniffing the air and suddenly spins on her heel. "Witch! You smell like Ivy! She's all over you!" Her eyes are pure black and she snarls, baring her fangs. "Why do you smell like Ivy?"

'Her jacket. Damn it.' This is the opposite of what I wanted to happen when I put it on. "I can explain." My eyes lock with hers and too late I realize just how much of a mistake it was. I can barely move. 'She's pulling an aura!' Normally, a living vamp can only influence someone like this when they are willing, which I am most certainly not, but my vamp scars make me a play toy for anyone interested. "Back off, Dorothy!" I used her real name to try and get through to her. "I'm warning you."

"No! I warned you! She's mine!" With a throaty roar, Skimmer launches herself at me.

The enraged vampire is so fast, I don't have time to set a circle. I don't want to do this but she's giving me no choice. I release the ley line energy spindled within me and the impact sends her tumbling backwards through the air. She slams hard into the wall behind the bar and slides out of sight to the ground. I can move again and I slump forward, groaning. "Damn it."

Jenks' wings turn pale blue. "Crap on toast."

I start to say something about defending myself; only to notice he isn't looking at the bar. Someone is behind me. 'Not the best way to make a first impression.' I clear my throat and turn, expecting to have to apologize to Rynn Cormel. Instead, my heart skips a beat. 'Oh no.' Ivy is standing there, a look of pure horror on her face. "This isn't what it looks like."

Ivy snarls. "Shut. Up." She zips past me and ducks behind the bar, rising a few moments later with her arms around Skimmer. The other living vampire is conscious but appears to be unsteady. "Are you okay?" Glassy-eyed, the blonde nods. "I'm sorry I didn't get here sooner." She turns to me, her eyes black. "Stay away from her, Rachel."

"Ivy, please listen. I didn't mean to…"

Apparently ignoring me, Ivy helps Skimmer toward the rear door, and the stairs leading to a room upstairs. "I don't know what's gotten into you Rachel, but this is a side of you I never knew existed. Don't you dare touch her again."

"Well, that could have gone better," says Jenks. "Rache? You all right?"

I begin to cry.

I can't meet Rynn Cormel like this, so I head home.

Jenks bugs me the whole way, telling me over and over to call Ivy. "Tinks' panties, Rache! You threw her girlfriend across the room. I think you need to apologize, or at least explain she attacked you first."

"Turn it Jenks, don't you think I know that?" I sigh when he flutters back, startled by my outburst. "I'm sorry. I'm not going to do it on the phone, that's all." We drive back to the church in silence and he follows me to the front door. "Look, Jenks." I stop so suddenly he almost flies into me. "I do appreciate your concern, and talking to you about this has helped, but I really need some time to myself, okay? Can you please get all you kids together and keep them in the stump for a while?"

"Sure thing, Rache."

Inside, I take off Ivy's jacket and throw it in the wash. I know she won't be able to wear it again until my scent is off it, but without that comforting hint of her on me, I suddenly feel so very alone. I slump to the floor, arms wrapped around my knees, and find myself starting to cry all over again. "Damn it!" I'm losing her. She'd given me an ultimatum months ago, all of her or nothing, and the realization I actually wanted that scared me so much I ran as fast as I could in the other direction. "Stupid, Rachel. You are so stupid." I thought back to the day I was planning to give the Focus to Piscary and how I decided then and there I was looking for a lifetime commitment with Ivy. The fact my concern at the time had been more on blood than sex wasn't the point, the bond was unmistakable. My timing, though, was as lousy as ever. Here I was finally figuring myself out, recognizing what I really wanted, only Ivy had moved on.

As much as I hated to admit it, Skimmer was good for her. She and Ivy could have a happy, healthy vampire relationship. What did I have to offer, really? All I had ever done was twist Ivy's emotions around, much the same way as Piscary had done with her body and mind, getting her all worked up thinking something more might happen between us, then pushing her away when it became uncomfortable…for me. I never did it with the intention of hurting Ivy, I was just more scared of myself than I cared to admit, and I continued to hang around because I found the lure of being bitten as attractive as the woman herself. "Damn it!"

I'm tired, mentally and emotionally. I wander down the hall and stop with my hand on my doorknob. I turn my head slowly and stare at the other door. 'No Rachel, no.' I'm thinking about her jacket again. Her scent. 'I shouldn't.' I knew it was a bad idea but I decide to do it anyway and worry about the consequences later. I go into Ivy's room, and take a deep breath to fill my lungs with the lingering scent. 'God, she smells incredible.' I can feel the heat building in my core. It's not my scars. They're not tingling. This isn't a vampire playing with me, its Ivy. I am turned on by the very scent of her. I blink away the tears. I don't need to talk to Rynn Cormel anymore. Here and now, I have the answer I need. Any vampire can stimulate me because of my scars, and as long as I am not bound to one there is nothing I can do about that, but what I feel has nothing to do with pheromones or my scars. 'I love her.' I crawl onto Ivy's bed, wrap her comforter around myself, and close my eyes as I allow her scent to envelop me. My thoughts turn to kissing Ivy, like she kissed me. I want more. I may never get it now, damn it, but for perhaps the first time in my life, I really understand myself. "I love Ivy Tamwood."

I have no idea when I fell asleep. The next thing I know, I am taking in her scent again, but it's not like before. It's stronger, warmer. I disentangle myself from her comforter and sit up. Although the room itself is dark the light is on in the hall, and I can clearly see a figure outlined in the open doorway, standing ramrod straight and still. My face pales. "Ivy."

"Rachel." Her gray silk voice turns low and husky. "What. Are. You. Doing?"

I scramble off the bed and back as far away from her as I can, though I know it's just going to spread my scent deeper into her room and risks making the situation worse. What choice did I have?

"Damn it, Rachel!" Because she is backlit, I can't actually see her eyes but I'm willing to be they're black. She still hasn't moved, though her whole body is starting to tremble. "You should know better than this. Especially after what you did to Skimmer." She shakes her head. "I came to talk to you. She asked me to. What are you doing to me, Rachel?"

"I'm sorry." I knew it sounded trite, but I wasn't sure what else to say. "About Skimmer, about this…it's not you, Ivy. It's me. I came to Piscary's to talk to Rynn Cormel only I found Skimmer, and she overheard me talking to Jenks. She got angry and attacked because she saw me as a rival for your affections. That's what you walked in on."

Ivy glides into the room. I can see her eyes now. They are black. "What are you saying?"

'Oh God.' I had only just made up my mind. I wasn't ready for this. 'Do it and there's no turning back.' Then again, don't do it and there would be no going forward either. I had no idea if she even still wanted me or not, but I knew I had no chance of being with Ivy if I didn't tell her how I felt. 'Please let this be the right thing.' I take a deep breath. "Ivy, I love you."

Ivy doesn't respond, or move, for what seems like an eternity, and I just know I've screwed up. Then she lets out a soft sigh and most of the black fades from her eyes. "I love you too, Rachel. What's going on?"

'She thinks I'm saying that to calm her down.' I could take this opportunity to apologize and run, pretend nothing ever happened, like I'd always done, but not this time. 'I won't do that to her again.' I shake my head. "No, you don't understand." Even if we couldn't actually be together, I needed Ivy to understand. I take her hands. "Ivy Tamwood, I am in love with you."

Ivy jerks away from me as if she's been burnt. Once again, her eyes are black, though I don't think its anger this time. "Rachel." She backs toward the door. She's fighting to control herself, but I knew if she wanted to, she'd be gone before I could blink. "I don't know what game you think you're playing, but I won't be sucked into it. Not again."

I nod. She has every right to be angry with me. Hell, I am. "Ivy, I'm sorry. I'm sorry about what I did to Skimmer, I'm sorry for all the times I hurt you, and I'm so sorry it took me this damn long to figure it out but I am not sorry about how I feel." I move slowly toward her. "Maybe you hate me now. Maybe you don't want to hear this, but I am in love with you."

Ivy glances at the door and I see the tension making her body like a coiled spring. She's about to bolt. I grab her arm and she freezes. Tears fill her eyes. "Don't do this, Rachel. Please. Let me go."

We've been in this sort of situation before, except I know this time is different. I shake my head. "I can't, Ivy. If you run, if we don't do this now, I'm afraid we won't ever. Whatever's going to happen, we need to work this out." She lowers her head, making her hair a black curtain over her face, but I continue. "I'm in love with you and I know that scares you, hell, it scares me."

"Rachel." Ivy's eyes meet mine and I note hers aren't just black, they're swirling. I feel like I could fall into them. I subtly sniff the air for pheromones but there are none and my scars aren't tingling. She's not pulling an aura. So why is my subconscious telling me to throw myself down in front of her? "You have to let me go. Otherwise, I'm afraid I'll…"

"What? Bite me?" Surprisingly, this doesn't scare me. In fact, it excites me a little. I shake my head. "It's okay. I want to share everything with you, Ivy. I love you. If that's what you need to do…"

With a sudden burst of speed, Ivy shoves me down on the bed and straddles me. Her lips connect hungrily with mine, and her tongue snakes into my mouth. I moan. Our breasts crush together and my hands instinctively come up to clutch at her supple shoulders. My whole body feels like its on fire. "Ivy…" I whisper, when I find a moment to breath. "…please."

Ivy turns her head and nuzzles the side of my neck opposite my scars. I gasp as pleasure ripples through me. Her hands drift down to the ties of my top. After a few moments of fumbling she glances questioningly at me, I nod, and she twists her wrists slightly, tearing the fabric all the way down the middle to my belt. I'm not wearing a bra this particular morning so she gets a clear and immediate view of my breasts, and I hear her breath catch in her throat. "Last chance…stop me…"

"I won't, Ivy. I swear." My whole body is quivering in anticipation. "I want this. I want you. I love you."

Ivy brings her lips down to the sensitive flesh between my breasts and I arch my back, mewling in pleasure. She slowly kisses her way up my left breast, watching me the entire time, and takes my nipple into her mouth. She suckles gently. I think I'm going out of my mind. She blazes a similar trail to the right, and what little is left of my rational mind wonders if I can climax just from that. She brings her hands down to my pants and shreds them like so much tissue paper. I think my panties go with them. I'm now fully exposed to her, and a hungry growl pushes me right to the edge. "Ivy…" I can barely speak. "…please!"

That's all the encouragement Ivy needs. Abandoning any pretense of seduction, she forces my legs apart and descends, her tongue plunging deep into my core. I can't contain myself. I scream as my climax erupts and triggers Ivy's. She holds my hips until my convulsions finally subside and slides her body up the length of mine until we are face to face again.

"Are you all right?"

Once I catch my breath, I nod. "That was…oh God, Ivy. Is it always like that?"

"If you're lucky, dear heart." Ivy rests her head on my shoulder. Her eyes are warm chocolate again. "You're still here."

I recognize the wonder in her voice but I don't understand it. "What?"

"You didn't run." Ivy smiles. "You said you wanted to be with me, and you're still here."

It hurts to see how genuinely scared she was. Of me. Piscary had been a monster, but at least she knew that. She loved me and I did nothing more than betray her over and over again. I had hurt her far more than he ever could. 'I am so sorry.' I cup her cheek. "I love you, Ivy Tamwood, and I swear by the Turn I am not going anywhere."

I wake to the comforting feel of Ivy's arms wrapped around my midsection, and I breathe in her scent.

My life is moving in a direction I never expected, and though a tiny part of me is scared about the unknown, the truth is…I couldn't be happier. Sighing, I start to snuggle back against her when I hear a gentle rapping on the door and I realize this is probably what roused me in the first place. I glance at Ivy, taking in her long, lean nude body stretched out across the sheets and something stirs within me. My barely contained lust stirs Ivy, whose vaguely almond shaped eyes snap open.

"My god, witch. You're insatiable." She leans up to kiss me. "Then again, so am I."

I spend a few moments kissing my vampire, and then reluctantly pull away and caress her cheek. "Except, I think Jenks is here." That gentle rapping comes again. "Or we have woodpeckers in the church." Ivy rolls her eyes. She hops out of bed, completely naked, and though I am momentarily distracted by the sigh of her marvelously curvaceous rear end, I cluck my tongue. "Umm, not that I mind, but you might want to put some clothes on before you…" She throws the door open. "…never mind."

"Tinks' diaphragm!" Jenks doesn't wait to be invited in; he flies over Ivy's bare shoulder and into the bedroom, circling the air around the light fixture in the ceiling. His gaze lingers momentarily on me, I think to make sure I'm still breathing and have at least some blood left in my body. "Sorry to interrupt but, umm, there's someone here to see you."

"Can it wait?" I ask. "As you can see, I'm a little busy. Tell them to come back tomorrow."

Jenks shakes his head. "I don't think he's going to take no for an answer. It's Rynn Cormel." My face falls, and though her back is to me, I can hear Ivy gasp. "And he's here for both of you."

I stand up, wrapping the sheet around me. "Okay, umm, he can't come into the sanctified parts of the church. Get him to the living room and tell him we'll be right there." The pixie nods and darts out of the room. "I better go get dressed." What I was wearing last night obviously isn't going to work. I turn to Ivy, who is standing ramrod straight, eyes hooded. "Are you okay?"

"Skimmer is here."

I blink. "You can smell her?"

"No, but she's working for Cormel. She's his lawyer." Ivy lowers her head, and her next words are so quiet I can barely hear them. "I forgot about her. I left her waiting for me back at Piscary's. She told me to come and talk to you, to try and work this out, and then we…" She takes a deep breath. "Damn it, Rachel. What I am supposed to tell her?"

"What do you want to tell her?" I hold my breath. I loved Ivy, and I knew she loved me, but it occurred to me that what happened last night could have just been an overwhelming of her instincts. She and Skimmer were together. I knew Ivy. While it was normal for vampires to have multiple blood and bed partners, Ivy tended to devote herself to a single lover at a time; it was part of how she maintained her sanity. She was probably feeling guilty that she cheated on Skimmer, and simultaneously afraid to hurt me by running back to Skimmer after the two of us had a good…no, a fantastic, time together. "It'll be okay, Ivy. Whatever you decide."

"Go back to your room, Rachel. I'll see you in a few minutes."

"Okay." I pause in the doorway as something occurs to me. We both smelled like sex. The whole room did. If I could detect it, it would damn well reek to the vampires. "Umm…shouldn't we bathe first?"

"Of course, but we don't have time." Ivy sighs. "What happened last night wasn't me, or you, it was both of us. We willingly started this journey together Rachel. We're just going to have to deal with where it takes us."

I'm not sure I like the sound of that. The optimism seems to have gone out of Ivy. I hope that its just nerves, but I don't know if she's worried more about Skimmer, or Cormel. She'll probably just be pissed. He's going to be in charge. If he doesn't like the idea of the two of us together, he may have the authority to separate us. I shuffle back to my room.

Standing in my closet, with Ivy's blanket on the floor around ankles, it occurs to me I have no idea what one wears to meet an undead, former President of the United States, whose vampire dating guide was the best selling book of all time. I decide on what I like to call provocative conservatism; black slacks with a black suit jacket, a low cut red top, and a gold necklace meant to suggest without inviting. As I go to the dresser to choose a perfume, I see the insanely expensive bottle of special fragrance Ivy bought me, which completely masks my scent from vampires. I wonder if it wouldn't work to cover the scent of Ivy on me.

"It's worth a shot." I spray a little on myself and bring the bottle with me so Ivy can use it too if she wants.

Ivy emerges from her own bedroom as I step out into the hall, and near trip over myself when I see how she is dressed. A tiny black skirt, slit up one side, with a skin-tight black top that has both a full, high collar and deep cleavage. It is complimented with knee-high boots and elbow length black gloves. Lust boils up from within me, and her brow furrows. "Rachel, your pulse just shot up, but I can't smell you." I show her the perfume bottle and she smiles. "That's brilliant." She sprays a little on herself. "Skimmer and Cormel are smart. It's still clear we're hiding something, but at least we won't be so blatantly obvious." She snaps her fingers to drag my attention away from her breasts, which is no easy feat. "You keep that up and you're the one who's going to give us away."

"I'm sorry. I can't help it, Ivy. You look gorgeous." I shake my head. "You never dress like that for me, or Skimmer."

"Cormel is taking over my camarilla. He may not officially be our master, but we have to treat him like he is." Ivy adjusts her collar and I can't help noting how it makes her breasts jiggle. "It's a show of respect. I have to make it at least appear I am willing to offer myself to him, even if I actually belong to someone else." She smiles at me, and I blush slightly. "Shall we?"

As we walk into the living room, we are both amused to discover what Jenks came up with to our guests busy. He is individually introducing them to every single member of his extensive family.

Skimmer is indeed there, wearing blue jeans and a loose-fitting white blouse. Her whole body goes rigid when she sees us come in, but her attention focuses quickly on Ivy. Their eyes meet and I can sense something unspoken passing between them. The blonde's eyes narrow and she flashes her fangs as she turns her gaze slightly to scowl at me.

The other occupant of the room is one I only know from photographs and video archives. Rynn Cormel rises with a slow, easy grace and turns to face us, flashing the million-dollar smile that had kept the world from falling apart. He is an imposing figure in a tailored suit that I'd wager costs more than everything in my closet combined. "Ms. Morgan. Ivy."

I don't like how he practically purrs her name, or the beautiful flush that washes over her pale skin in response. I am aware it is the way a subordinate vampire is supposed to act around their master, but I can't help feeling jealous, and a little angry, about the thought she would probably strip down for him right now if he asked her to. Then again, he could always pull an aura and I would too. Undead vampires had that kind of power, which is why laws on the subject were created, many of which this man had been responsible for. I realize it doesn't mean the same thing to vampires it does to witches or humans, and Ivy and I aren't anything official yet, hell, I don't even know what we are yet, but I still felt the need to change the subject. "Mr. President…"

He holds up a hand, and I all but forget what I was going to say. "Rynn, please."

I nod. "All right. Rynn. I don't mean to be rude, but is this a social call or is there something we can do for you?"

"As I'm sure you are aware, I have taken Piscary's camarilla as my own. This brings Ivy and Skimmer here into my circle of influence, and places you on my radar as well, Ms. Morgan. It has come to my attention that you are endeavoring to find a way for vampires to maintain their souls following their first death, is that right?"

I glance at Ivy, who refuses to meet my gaze, and then clear my throat. "It's true I have been looking, but so far I haven't found anything that even remotely resembles the kind of miracle you're asking for."

"Give it time. Ivy has considerable faith in you, and that is good enough for me." Cormel arches an eyebrow. "Speaking of Ivy, she and Skimmer are my responsibility now, and seeing as their well-being is one of my primary concerns, I also stopped by to determine the nature of your relationship." I find myself speechless as he looks from me to Ivy and back again. "Although, that question clearly no longer needs to be asked." He approaches Skimmer, whose eyes are pure black, and places a hand gently on her shoulder. She snarls, but remains still. "I have no objection, so long as it doesn't interfere with your responsibilities."

"Thanks for your permission." I regret the words even as they are coming out of my mouth. Ivy and Skimmer tense and I wonder if I didn't just make a big mistake. Cormel could easily kill me before I'm aware he's moved but despite the pure black eyes, his face is unreadable. "I'm sorry for that, Rynn, but whatever Ivy and I have is private."

After a stressful moment of silence, he steps back and smiles slightly, baring his fangs. "You're quite right." His eyes lighten, and I relax as much as one can in the presence of a master vampire. "Forgive me, Ms. Morgan." He turns gracefully. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have other business I must attend to. Come along, Skimmer." I can tell how badly the living vampire wants to stay and 'talk' but Cormel's influence is too strong. Gnashing her teeth, she glances longingly at Ivy once more and follows.

I breath a sigh of relief when they are both gone. "I'm glad that's over."

Beside me, Ivy starts to cry.

Jenks, who has been remarkably quiet this whole time, whispers something to Matalina, who ushers their kids out of the room. He glances back at me, silently asking if I want him to stay, and I shake my head. He nods and follows his family.

"Ivy." I lead her over to the couch and with both sit down. "What's wrong?"

Wiping her eyes, Ivy smiles. "Nothing."

Okay, so they aren't tears of sadness or fear, but happiness? In spite of how long I have known Ivy, vampiric emotions tend to run strong and it's still hard for me to know the difference sometimes. "I'm confused."

"You always were a little slow." Ivy strokes me cheek and I relax. She's playful, which is good. Then I catch a whiff of pheromones and there is a jolt of excitement from my scars. Okay, very good. "Cormel is okay with us. I know why you said…what you said, but I don't think you understand what permission from him really means. I'm still going to have to deal with Skimmer at some point, and I'm not looking forward to that conversation, but this really does take a load off my mind."

I'm still not sure I understand. If Ivy is happy though, so am I. "So, umm, what now?" Ivy's eyes flash black as she looks at me. My scars flare. I see hunger on her face, but it's not for blood. "Why Ms. Tamwood, are you trying to seduce me?"

Ivy effortlessly scoops me up into her arms. "Trying? No." She whisks us away to the bedroom.