Hi guys! I know, I know, what the fuck am I doing by putting up another FF? Well, I've been asked to make a sequel toWhen You Tell Your Lover That You've Done Yourself They'll Think It's Hotand I couldn't help myself :3 This is forMystical Crimson Dance,NekoVaria, and all of the others who've wanted a sequel!
BTW, this is going to be multi-chaptered, dunno how many though... Ah who the hell cares!
Without further adieu,
Read, Enjoy, and REVIEW!
Be Careful What You Wish For or Your Ass May be Filled with a Chinko You Don't Want!
Chapter One
Serena-loves-Angst
Gintoki yawns, turning over.
"Strawberries… parfaits… sweets… damn blood sugar…" He snores. He then turns over, a distinct *SHATTER* sounding. Gintoki's eyes widen and he shoots up, turning he sees that he'd just broken Hijikata's precious mayo lighter!
"Ohhhhh! Why me? I'm too younggggggggggggggggg!" It sobs, making squeaky yells.
"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Gintoki screamed nothing at all like a girl. Anyone wanting to claim he did can find themselves dying a sudden sugary death… Gintoki clears his throat, composing himself like any mature man would.
"Why the fuck can you taaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal k?!" He shouts at it.
The mayo-lighter pieces make a sniffle, "Well, my owner is traveling with a mage and a ninja to get back my memories. Sometimes I feel like I know my owner, but I'm in love with him and this one person I just can't remember! And I―"
"Oi, oi, oiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! This ain't Tsubasa!" Gintoki points at it accusingly, exasperated.
"UWAHHHHHHHHHHH! Hijikata-owner-taaaaaaaaaaaaan!" It shrieks in a high-pitched and squeaky yell.
The sliding door opens, revealing Hijikata.
Shimataaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
"Oi, sugar-freak, I left my lighter here and―" He cuts himself off as he sees the shattered state of his precious lighter.
"Mayokura? Mayokura! Speak to me! Don't make me rewind time again to save youuuuuuuu!" Hijikata cries as he drops onto his knees, tearfully holding up the pieces.
"Oi! This ain't Tsubasa even if you combine Mayo and Sakura together!" Gintoki shouts in exasperation.
Hijikata dutifully ignores him in favor of listening to the last words of his lighter.
"I *cough* won't make it Hijiran―"
"Oi, oi, didn't you hear me? That's just a lame attempt at combining Hijikata and Syaoran together!" Gintoki yells.
"―you'll *hack* *cough* have to go on without me~ I lo―" It trails off, dead.
Hijikata is silent, his eyes shaded by his hair. Slowly, he turns, finally looking at the wide-eyed Gintoki.
"You fucking bastard." He snarls, lunging at Gintoki expectedly.
Gintoki's battle senses come in and he rolls over to avoid Hijikata.
"Now, now, let's talk, Oogushi-kun…" Gintoki says, hands raised.
"The second you die of sugar-poisoning!" He growls, charging.
Gintoki dodges, ducking when Hijikata whips out his sword and slashes it at his head.
Gintoki looks around for something to defend himself with but doesn't even see his bokuto. Damnit! Kagura got it destroyed again in the last chapter! He remembers. He feels his legs being kicked out from under him and his eyes widen in surprise, since when had Hijikata become this fast? Or since when had I become this slow? He thinks.
SHINK!
The sword slides down near his head, cutting his cheek and going through the floor. Hijikata looms over him, pure fury on his features. He rears his fist back and Gintoki closes his eyes, turning his head. Please don't break Gin-chan's face too badly! He thinks. When he feels no knuckles connecting with his cheek or his teeth being knocked out he hesitantly opens his eye. He doesn't see Hijikata on top of him anymore so he opens both eyes and sits up and sees Hijikata.
He's walking away.
Hijikata is walking away.
Gintoki opens his mouth to say something but the vice-captain slides the door shut purposefully before he can even get a sound out. Gintoki feels something close to guilt well up in him.
He must've really loved that lighter… He thinks.
Flashback…
Hijikata laughs, dressed in 50's style clothing and spinning around with his hands looped with the ones of the mayo-lighter.
"Hijikata-dear~ Mayokura-tan~ Come back now! It's time for lunch!" Gintoki calls from his spot on the picnic blanket, picnic-food galore laid out on it. He's wearing a dress and an apron, his hair fluffed up 50's style and looking like some kind of grandmother reliving her youth. Though, you can't say that he's not pulling it off.
"Come on, champ!" Hijikata says, putting the mayo-lighter on his shoulder. "It's time for lunch! Let's see what your mother made!"
"Yay! Food!" Mayokura squeals as Hijikata sits down.
Hijikata reaches for a mayo bottle and opens it, pouring mayo onto his plate's food.
Mayokura's eyes are wide. "Aunt Mayortha? Daddy, what are you doing to auntie? You're killing herrrrrrrrrrrrr!"
Hijikata and Gintoki laugh, continuing to eat with Hijikata killing more and more of Mayokura's relatives.
Flashback End…
Gintoki is bashing his head against the wall. What the fuck is wrong with you, the-thing-that-is-my-mind?! That never happened!
'So sue me, can't I be in a 50's mood?!' It thinks back.
Not when I'm supposed to be having a flashback! The readers are fucking traumatized now! Gintoki thinks.
'Fine, do your own thinking then!'
Gintoki rolls his eyes, somewhat annoyed. Since when was his mind such a drama queen?
'Yeah, yeah, just go and get a new lighter for the man already! Find a way to make up to the man you call your rival/lover, dumbass!' His mind thinks to him.
…I thought you weren't going to do my thinking for me…
'I… I missed you…' It sniffles.
Gintoki sighs before getting up and getting dressed.
"A brand new lighter for Oogushi-kun, here I come!" He declares.
"How the fuck can't there be a single mayo-bottle lighter in this fucking city!? They fucking have chinko-shaped ones but not mayo-bottle shaped?" Gintoki groans as he falls onto his futon.
Hey, hey, I just realized something… Gintoki thinks, Where the hell are Kagura and Shinguppy?
'It's Shinpachi you idiot!' His mind corrects. 'And don't you remember? They're out doing a job for that one old hag, the one that hates you. She's paying us ¥50,000 for every day they help her while she's going on vacation.' It reminds.
Huh, I didn't remember that. Gintoki thinks, picking his nose. Then he stretches his arms before going to the kitchen and grabbing some strawberry milk and gulping it down. He smacks his lips as he notices something different about its taste. Maybe it's gone bad… He thinks, turning it to see the expiration date. It hasn't reached it yet.
"What the…?" He say aloud, the milk carton slipping from his hand and spilling all over the floor. He feels his knees wobble and he grabs the counter, panting and feeling his lids tug with heavy tiredness.
"Hello, Gintoki-kun…" A fat alien walks in, his robes and skin color making him look like a glorified pumpkin.
"Who the fuck are you?" Gintoki growls, feeling some panic rise up in his drugged body.
"Bobby Wong Dong." He answers, making Gintoki burst out into laughter. "Shut up! It isn't my fault that Mommy like Daddy Wong's dong!" The alien, Bobby, shouts.
"Sir," a human in a suit next to him says calmly.
Bobby reigns himself in, "Ahem. What we're here for, Gintoki-kun, is you." He says.
"Why?" Gintoki manages to ask, feeling himself teetering on the edge of unconsciousness.
Bobby grins, "Slave-trading. You, the Shiroyasha, have some serious enemies. Just think about what one could do with you at their mercy…" He trails off, leaving the rest to imagination.
Gintoki snarls, his imagination quite capable of showing him things. "Never!"
Bobby smirks, "Ah, but you'll be unconscious in three…"
Gintoki blacks out before he reaches one.
You want more? REVIEW for it! :D I'm so evil XD See ya~
Serena-loves-Angst
