Fallen Angels

Summary- One shot, sad and depressing. Bella is forced to make a horrible decision. Will she regret it?

Isabella Marie Swan. Yep! That's me.

My life meant nothing to me, I mean what was I. who was I?

I didn't even know the day or time for god sake. I was sitting on the edge of my bed cradling my stomach. …

Why? Why me, what had I done to deserve this?

I couldn't cope, my body wasn't functioning, and I wasn't functioning. Even if I was live, I didn't know it. I was a shell, a nothing. I mean I had a beating heart but that was it, my life was over. Nothing can help me.

I mean look at myself I have resorted to locking myself in my bedroom. And staring of into space. That's my life now, lying on my hard wooden floor, cradling my knees to my chest and just lying there, when I wasn't lying there I slept but that was it.

I couldn't even cry any more. I had counted how long it had been since he had left me.

…………. 16 weeks, 3 days, 11 hours, 13 minutes, and 23, seconds ago. …

It had been that long I had been like this. It was him, he left me I was alone now and I couldn't cope, he kept me safe and protected me.. he was the reason I was breathing and the only thing I cared about. He was heart and soul. He kept it beating. Then he left. With no explanation. Him my lover left with my family and my best friend Alice.

How could she leave?

I thought I new them but that was it, I clearly didn't. How could they do this to me? Even Esme, my mother how could she? .

At first I was angry but now I can't feel anything.

Still with this heartbreak, he leaves me in this hopeless state. How am I going to cope. I can't cope. I am seventeen for Christ sake.

I can't look after a baby, let alone a half vampire baby.

I had found out my baby was a little girl.

I really didn't see any reason in going on. I new it was selfish on my baby but I really couldn't. at least we would die together.

I grabbed a pen and paper and began to write two letters, to be honest they were suicide notes but I would like to see them as my final goodbye to the people I loved.

I took the first bit of paper and began to write.

Mum and Dad,

Sorry to leave you like this, but I truly don't believe there is a way out. My life if I could call it that is not bearable. I am not even living, I am holding on to air my body doesn't want, every breath I take hurts, every second I am here it hurts. I just want the pain to go. Also I sorry for doing this but I feel you have a right to know from me, I don't want you finding out from some doctor when I am long gone.

I am pregnant, and yes dad it is Edwards's baby, but he won't find out until he read his letter. The Cullen's don't know anything. And dad before you grab your gun, which you are properly doing as reading this, this is not Edwards fault. He left me yes. But that is not the reason I am ending mine and my babies life. School is unbearable, the girls I can't stand. It everything, I am in so much pain and this is the only way out. Writing this letter to you is the last bit of dignity I have left so please respect my descion, in time you will understand why? But I want you to promise me one thing this is all I can ask. Don't blame yourselves and don't blame the Cullen especially Edward. He is my life and you know that especially you dad. I am sorry for having to put you through this and taking away your only daughter and grand daughter.

I decided to call the baby Esmarenna Carley Cullen. From Renee and Esme and then Carlisle and Charlie for the second name. the name is pronounced (Es-ma-re-na)

I was only 14 weeks pregnant so not that far gone hey?

I guess that is all I can say, except that I am really so sorry and that I will always love you. The best parents in the world.

Love your daughter Isabella, love you always.

And then I grabbed my second piece of paper.

Cullen's,

I am sorry, firstly this isn't your fault, and you can't blame your selves for this. Even though you didn't love me and you left me I will always love you, you were and always will be my family my being and my life.

Carlisle and Esme, my mother and father. You know I love you and you were so kind to me. Emmet and Jasper, the brothers I never had, always embarrassing me at any opportunity you had, you are always with me. Alice my best friend you know I love you and you know what I feel. I guess that is all I can say, oh and Rosalie a protective sister I never had. We had our differences. But I love you too and finally Edward, my life and soul, you kept me going, even though you left I never will stop loving you unconditionally. Me and your unborn child. I called her Esmarenna Carley Cullen. From Renee and Esme and then Carlisle and Charlie for the second name. The name is pronounced (Es-ma-re-na)

I was only 14 weeks pregnant so not that far gone hey?

Ask Charlie and René for more information, in the letter there is a scan of the baby. I am so sorry that I had to kill her along with me, but being alone, with a abnormal baby growing inside me you know what I mean, I was scared and alone I am sorry and will forever love you. At my funeral if it was alright with you I want you all to attend and on my tombstone I want my name to be Isabella Marie Swann Cullen.

Love you for eternity literally

You're Bella. x

I folded the Letter in to there correct envelopes and left them on my desk.

I then took back the pills and a bottle of vodka. I gunned the pills down my throat and gulped the vodka down, I smashed the vodka bottle and grabbed for a piece of glass, I seared it across each of my wrists until I was bleeding uncontrollably. I lay down on the floor and slipped into a black sea of unconscious.

Finally as my senses let go, I was happy, the pain was fading and I was at peace for ever with my memories of Edward and my baby to keep me company. If this was death I gladly took it.

I died on the 18th of December me and my baby. 17 years old.

I was forever at peace and watching over my 7 angels for eternity.

Tell me should I continue and do Bella funeral and Charlie's and the Cullen's points of view? Tell what you think.

Twilightmadfans x