GOSSSIP GIRL Fic

This fic is au. It is a total what if scenario and I know that it like totally will never happen but I have been feeling so bad for Chuck with the whole not having any family at all. I started wondering what it would be like for Chuck if he discovered that he suddenly did have a family. One that he in fact never would have expected and I came up with this idea so… In this story everything on Gossip Girl has happened. Rufus discovers that Lily had a baby and gave him up when he was born. That baby is and will be for the purposes of this story the one and only Chuck Bass. In order for this to be possible however in this fic Chuck Bass has been adopted by his parents Bart and Misty Bass a fact in which he was totally unaware of. In this story Chuck started school late because of circumstances (medical and adoptive). So in this story he is in fact 19 years of age (a fact that he is well aware of but actually never really put much thought into the reasons why) and thus the story begins. This story will include spurts of flashbacks that will come close to and also be exact wording from show episodes. This story takes place in the past and starts in the gossip girl episode Oh, Brother, where Bart thou.

I own absolutely nothing! If I did why in the hell would I be wasting my time writing fanfic?

Reviews and comments are encouraged and will defiantly be appreciated.

Title: Love's Secret Past

A Story about a forbidden love and the secrets its past conceal

Lily and Rufus

Chuck and Blair

Serena, Dan, possibly

Eric and Jenny friendship

Chapter 1

1989 May 19

Lily closed her eyes as her body suddenly shuddered with a physically powerful contraction. The doctors coached her through a final push in which she screamed the whole while through. She breathed a sigh of relief and exhaustion as the baby was suddenly taken from her body and lifted into the air.

"It's a boy" the doctor said softly as he cut the umbilical cord. He then handed the child to the nurse and Lily opened her eyes in time to see her baby being wrapped in swindling blankets.

"I want to…I want to hold him" she said her voice a whisper. "Of course" the nurse replied as she walked towards the bed and placed the silent child into Lily's arms. Lily couldn't believe it. He was so beautiful with his wispy, murky hair and dark eyes. "Oh….. He's perfect…. My flawless angel "she whispered into the child's hair.

"What do you think you're doing?" a voiced said as it roared through the room angered. "Why is she holding the child? She's giving it up for adoption! She is not supposed to see the baby! I told the staff that!" the voice scolded.

"Mother…Please" Lily begged as the hospital staff hurriedly removed her baby from her arms. "We did not know" the doctor apologized

"No one informed us."The nurse added as she gathered the baby and hastily exited the room.

"No…My baby!" Lily screamed as she watched a piece of her heart…another love be taken away from her.

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2008

Lily walked into the den of her home and was startled to see Chuck sitting on the leather sofa sipping on Scotch.

"I just can't believe that you'd want this to become public knowledge" Chuck stated

"What is that? Lily asked she knew what it had to be. She could tell by the evil smirk crossing the kids face and her heart sank into her chest and began hammering harder than it ever did before.

"Oh, it's exactly what you think it is." Chuck responded his voice condescending and very sharp

"But my mother..." Lily began. Her mom had said she'd taken care of the problem when she'd spoken to her after the funeral.

"Lied to you" Chuck responded "and to Mr. Tyler. Judging by the look on your face I'm guessing it wasn't your idea to come clean"

"Why on earth would she do this?" Lily asked herself her voice a tone of confused wonder

"I don't know, but the next time I see her I would ask" Chuck responded "but until then I am more than happy to further her agenda." Lily shook her head this kid was so messed up she thought. She did not want this personal information about her life become public knowledge. It was a secret that she had been keeping so long, and so close to her heart that Lily did not think that she would be able to cope with people knowing the horrible thing she'd done so many years before.

"Charles, I beg you …please don't turn away from the people that love you! They are the only chance that any of us have and your father never learned that. I hope that you do" she said before walking away. The kid was blaming her for his last living parents death and she felt so guilty about the part that she may actually have played in it , that she did not think that she could even really be angry with him for what he was threaten to do with her secret. If he told her secret she realized that was his choice. She prayed that he wouldn't but he was the type of person you never knew with.

She had to go and find the man that she loved .She had let circumstances get in the way of the loved she shared with Rufus Humphrey almost 20 years ago. She would never (if she could) let anything stop her from being with him ever again. She would just have to deal with Charles later. She told herself as she headed to her room to pack a small bag and get ready to live the life that she should have been living with her love and their children.

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Lily stood in the airport and waited for Rufus. She was so thrilled! She had finally gained the courage to do something now that she could not do all those years ago. She was running away to be with the man that she loved. She pulled out her compact and checked her appearance again for the 10th time since she'd been waiting. Then she hastily placed the mirror back in her bag. She looked fine. She took a deep breath and a smile graced her face as she finally spotted him walking towards her.

She was so delighted. This was the moment that she had been waiting for her entire life. But, the look on his face did divulge the equivalent feelings of love and joy; in fact Lily realized as he walked closer he wasn't happy at all. He looked as if he were incensed .When he was mere feet from her she realized he wasn't carrying any luggage and that his hands were balled into angry fist as if he wanted to punch something or someone. He looked distrustful. Before Lily could say anything he attacked her with a look of what had to be pure abhorrence and it stopped her lips from moving and her brain couldn't structure words. He placed his hands on his hips and she knew it. He knew! Somehow he knew and she just could not believe it.

"Just tell me one thing" he demanded" is it a boy or a girl!" Lily shook her head .This was unbelievable and she could not deal with this. She precariously ran her fingers threw her hair and took in a shallow breath

"What… I don't… What are you asking me?" she responded.

He shook his head in pure disgust. He was disgusted by her! Lily felt her legs go weak. She deserved this look; the one he was giving her .And the thought that he was the second person to give her the look of hate this week was one that made her want to disappear (Charles had looked at her the exact same way right before he had enlightened her on how much the sight of her disgusted him). She was a horrible person.

"I can… let me explain" she begged

He laughed at her and his laugh was one of unbelief

"That's…that's all you have to say! I can't believe it your mother told me that you had a baby for me almost 19 years ago! What the Hell were you thinking! You did not even tell me you were pregnant."

"Rufus" Lily whispered she could not believe that this was happening

"I can't go anywhere with you!" he spit out at her as if the words were a venom that would and could actually kill her."You are not the person I thought you were and maybe you never ever were" he said quietly before turning and walking away with his shoulder flaccid.

Lily felt her eyes filling with tears and as a solitary tear rolled, she rapidly grasps her possessions and wretchedly left the airport. She had done it again. She had lost the one man she could ever really love.

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Chuck frowned as the words Lily said to him looped around his head. He was at a lost now for what he was suppose to do. He closed his eyes and released a breath. He hated Lily! He really did. She was the reason he was now alone in the world (her and her lover Rufus Humphreys.)But most of all he hated her because she reminded him that when it really came down to it was his fault that his father was dead. If he had not called Bart and informed him of what he had seen then his father would be alive and he would be free to go on leading his happy, glamorous, meaningless, rich life with no problems.

He gulped the last of his drink uncrossed his legs and stood up from the sofa. Lily was right. He had no one now except for her and her family and she had said that she loved him in a roundabout way. He smirked as he realized that he was so pathetic. "I hate you Lily" he whispered to himself. But, he did not want to get involved with another scandal. He had enough on his plate. He picked up the document that would expose Lily to the world as the lying whore that he knew she was, he lit it ablaze and then placed it into the fire place. His was tired and he just did not have the strength to be involved in something so heinous.

He found himself sitting on Blair's bed about 2 hours later. And he was not exactly sure of how he got there. He let his head hang low as he concentrated on the silk comforter on her bed. His shoulders stiffened when he heard her door open and then second later he heard her shoes angrily hitting the floor.

"What are you doing here?" she asked and her voice almost sounded angry, almost. That's a good question he said to himself but, aloud he said nothing. He was unaware of what he was doing here. He honestly did not know how to respond to the question. He closed his eyes briefly then opened them again and looked up at her.

She startled at the look on his face and frowned before almost running over to him and wrapping him in her small arms. He let himself be overflowed with her smell. He leaned on her and pulled her closer to him with one arm. He felt safe in her arms. It was a surprise to him when moments later he felt tears coming from his eyes. He never cried! As they lay back on the bed together with her arms encircling him he allowed himself to relax. He could hear her whispering soothing words in his ear and he wanted to die when he felt her soft hands running threw his hair with intent of comforting him. He felt his eyes becoming closed and moments later they drifted closed and he had fallen into a restless much needed slumber.

Blair found herself laying awake watching Chuck sleep. He was in so much pain and as much as she wanted to help him, she realized that there was really nothing she could do. So, she held him close in her arms and watched him breathe for as long as she could. Inevitably she fell asleep and when she awoke again a couple hours later to check on him, he was gone. She ran her hand in his vacated spot that was still warm from his body heat and she found the letter he had left that requested that she not come looking for him.