A/N: Hello, everyone! I had other things in my mind to write, but this one showed up out of the blue and demanded to be written, so I did. I really like it, too.
I also published this fic on AO3 (username: MidnightHalo27)
This fic is not canon-compliant with The Bronze Key. It takes place during Bronze Year.
Disclaimer: The Magisterium book series belongs to Cassandra Clare and Holly Black, not me.
I hope you like it! Reviews, kudos, etc are great! Constructive criticism is very welcome, but flames will be used to roast marshmallows.
War Boys
by: GakuenAlicefan27
The first set of nightmares wasn't about Drew.
Call had seen enough in the last three years to have nightmares for the rest of his life, and all of them did a great job at making him tired, jumpy, and downright miserable throughout the day.
- Sometimes, they were about the mausoleum in Maine; his mind conjuring up scenarios in which his friends or his father died, ways in which everything could have gone to hell back then. Sometimes, they were about the spy hidden within the Magisterium's ranks; they'd fool him, hurt his friends, kill him, and Call could only scream. Sometimes, he'd be the villain in his own nightmares, destroying everyone without remorse.
And then, they started being about Drew's death, and in some way that was worse. Because all the other things, they remained in his nightmares – they went away when Call woke up.
But Drew was still dead when Call opened his eyes in the morning.
~x~
Aaron and Tamara knew something was up.
Call had thought he'd be able to hide it, but that was when the nightmares had been happening sparsely and not nearly every day; now, Call had bags under his eyes and a slump to his posture that made people actually stop and wonder about his health.
But he couldn't tell them - not about this particular brand of nightmares - because they had been there too, and Call already felt guilty enough as it was thinking about all the ways it could have been avoided; he didn't need Aaron and Tamara to feel guilty as well.
– It's not like they pulled the trigger. If anything, Drew was trying to pull a metaphorical trigger on them, and it backfired. But they were there, they watched it happen, and Call's mind won't let that go.
So Call did his best to smile, even if most days he only felt like crying. He knew he wasn't fooling anyone, but he did it anyways.
There were times though, when it was just too much.
~x~
One night, after some hours spent studying, they went to the Gallery. They were late, and there was a movie already playing. They spotted the rest of their friends sitting along with the other students watching it; Aaron and Tamara made to go, but Call stayed where he was.
"You guys go ahead. I'll see you later."
"Call…" Tamara began, but he shook his head.
"Don't worry, I'll be fine. I just don't feel like watching a movie right now."
"We don't have to watch a movie." Aaron said. "We can do something else."
"It's okay." Call insisted. "Go watch the movie. I'll grab something to eat."
Aaron looked like he wanted to retort, but Tamara grabbed his arm and shook her head, seeming to understand that Call needed to be alone. Aaron sighed, but nodded, and they left to join the others.
Call let out a sigh of relief and went to the table of snacks, grabbing the first sandwich he could find. He looked around, searching for a place where he could sit down and be still for a while – It wasn't difficult, since most people were huddled near where the movie was being played. He soon found a quiet corner where he could sit down leaning against one of the walls; once there, he started eating his sandwich. When he was nearly done, Alex approached him.
"Hey there, loner." He said, smiling in that way he always did. "Mind if I join you?"
Call shook his head, and Alex sat down beside him.
"So." He began. "What are you doing here all by yourself? Everybody's watching the movie."
"Not in the mood for movies." Call replied, taking the last bite. "What about you? Shouldn't you be airing the movie?"
Alex snickered.
"What?" Call raised an eyebrow.
"Sorry." Alex said, but snickered again. "It's just…funny, you know? Airing the movie…air magic…get it?"
"Oh my God…"
"It is!" Alex laughed. "Come on, Call. Laugh a little! You've been kind of gloomy in the past few days."
Call brushed one of his curls away from his eyes; his hair was getting longer. "I'm okay, just…haven't been sleeping well."
Alex nodded. "I figured. You've got bags under your eyes."
"Yeah, I know."
"Anything you'd like to talk about?"
Call made a face. Alex raised his hands.
"You don't have to say anything if you don't want to. Just…I'm here, if you need an ear."
Call pondered over his words. He figured it would help to talk to someone about it, even if he didn't feel like he could talk to Aaron and Tamara. He looked at Alex, who had reclined his head against the wall, eyes closed. He had been a good friend in the past; surely, he'd be a good friend now too.
"Do you remember Drew?" Call asked, at last. Beside him, Alex stiffened, which Call took as a yes. People tended to act like this when Drew was mentioned – some, because they didn't like talking about traitors; didn't like to remember that someone working for the enemy had been among them and they never had a clue. Some, because they didn't like talking about a twelve-year-old who'd never be thirteen.
"What about him?" Alex asked after a minute or so.
"I've been having nightmares lately." He admitted at last.
Alex flexed his fingers. "He's dead." He said, voice clipped. "You don't need to be scared of him."
"I'm not scared." Call said, hugging his knees to his chest.
"Then what's the problem?"
"He's dead."
Alex opened his eyes, looking at Call. There was something strange in them; something Call couldn't name.
"He tried to kill Aaron. He tried to kill you." He said.
"That doesn't mean it had to be us or him." Call replied, voice faltering near the end. "There were so many different things that could have happened, but the chaos elemental turned on him…and I could only run." He held down a sob. "He didn't deserve to die, Alex."
Alex didn't say anything, so Call continued:
"Sometimes, I dream of his death. Sometimes I dream of it in repeat, but it doesn't matter how many times it happens, I can never stop it. Sometimes, I just dream of his dead body; when I saw his tomb…" He wiped a tear that ran down his cheek. "There was a horse statue."
Alex looked at the ground. "He was always talking about ponies, wasn't he?"
"He was, but I kind of thought it was a lie, you know? After he died, I just assumed that those things he said were all part of an act, until I saw the horse statue there, on his tomb." He sniffed. "Which is stupid, when I really think about it, because of course it can't all have been an act. He stayed with us for nearly a year."
"Some people are really good at lying." Alex pointed out.
"But no one can lie non-stop for a year." Call retorted. "A lot of things must have been the real him showing through, and we'll never know which ones."
"Yeah." Alex said. "I guess you're right." He licked his lips. "I'm surprised you're thinking of this now though. It's been two years."
"I used to think things were black and white." Call said. "But with everything that happened in the last months, I don't think like that anymore." He sighed. "And now all this stuff is going around my mind…"
"Are you coming, Call?" Aaron's voice came from a little ways off.
Call looked in the direction the sound came from and saw that the movie had ended and people were starting to leave.
"Yeah!" He yelled, then turned to Alex. "I'll be going, but thanks for listening."
Alex waved him off. "Don't mention it."
"Are you staying?"
"Yeah, I…I'll stay a little longer; got some things to think about."
"Okay, then. Bye, Alex."
"Bye, Call."
A/N: I don't think a talk like that would have been enough to stop Alex from wanting to obtain chaos magic, because one thing that became clear in The Bronze Key is that Alex didn't do all those things just for Drew - yes, he did it for revenge, but he did it for power too; he craves power. He'd still want it even if Drew were alive. Perhaps though, a conversation like that could have changed his approach towards how to obtain said chaos magic. Perhaps he would try to find a way that didn't involve killing Aaron. Or maybe it wouldn't really change anything. Revenge is blinding, and Alex has too much pain and too much anger to let loose. Anyway, I would have liked if something like this had happened in canon.
Thank you for reading!
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