Set during Hagane movie. Thought it suited Roy's suicidalness... Other FMA fic sucked, so this is redemption. I don't own FMA and this is shinedown's song.


Send away for a priceless gift
One not subtle, one not on the list
Send away for a perfect world
One not simply, so absurd

It's all my fault. As much as he acted like the way he did, he was still a child. I should've seen it coming. I made a promise that it wouldn't happen again. Not after Hughes… If things were different… If this world wasn't as flawed as it is, could this have been avoided?

In these times of doing what you're told
Keep these feelings, no one knows
What ever happened to the young man's heart
Swallowed by pain, as he slowly fell apart

I followed all those fucking orders they gave me. I was going to protect everyone. Now, I'm just a lowly corporal… I failed. It would be better if I just die. I should've done it when I had the chance. But it's too late.

And I'm staring down the barrel of a 45,
I'm swimming through the ashes of another life
There's no real reason to accept the way things have changed
Staring down the barrel of a 45

How can I do anything? I have the gun in my hands now. Should I do it? I can't believe I'm afraid again. This is payment for what I made all the others go through. Why can't I accept my fate? My fire never warmed. It only burned people to the ashes they once were. It's my fault.

Send a message to the unborn child
Keep your eyes open for a while
In a box high up on the shelf, left for you, no one else

This lesson. I wish I could teach it to everyone. I wish I could tell all those coming into this world to avoid all my mistakes. If only I could warn them.

There's a piece of a puzzle known as life
Wrapped in guilt, sealed up tight

I would've given them this lesson. Life just won't work for you. I wish I'd learned that. "Stay in your place," I'd say. "Your place in life. Because the guilt in my soul has taught me a painful lesson. I want to show you what life has done to me. Actually, what I've done to myself: fooling, playing God."

What ever happened to the young man's heart
Swallowed by pain, as he slowly fell apart

And I'm staring down the barrel of a 45,
I'm swimming through the ashes of another life
There's no real reason to accept the way things have changed
Staring down the barrel of a 45

This… This should've been easy. I know my sins. I know what I've done wrong. I must punish myself. But then…

Everyone's pointing their fingers
Always condemning me
And nobody knows what I believe
I believe

I deserve this all. I know I do. That day I got demoted, I was so ready to be imprisoned for treason, be executed for the things I'd done. But then, I remembered why I struggled. I was waiting for Ed to come back. I wanted to redeem myself, in hi eyes along with the people's. I know that he'll come back.

And I'm staring down the barrel of a 45,
I'm swimming through the ashes of another life
There's no real reason to accept the way things have changed
Staring down the barrel of a 45

I'll do it. I'll kill myself now. I have the .45 at my eyes right now. But then, I hear it. It was far off, but my alchemy helped me sense the other heat. The jeep had stopped, and someone was there. I dropped the gun, and I went back to my post. The snow stung my body, the cold was unbearable. But welcome. I couldn't believe they had come for me. Why? I wasn't their leader anymore. But then…

I guess I know now why I was afraid. Because there were still people expecting me to be there. People who had never forgotten me. I'm so stupid. Yet I know this is better. If you're up there, God, well… Thanks.


Review please. And yes, Roy's super angsty. Hope you liked it. My review space is lonely, so PLEAZE...