Disclaimer: I don't own Soukyuu no Fafner; Xebec does.
Author's note: This story is basically the last few episodes of Fafner from Kazuki and Soushi's point of view. During episode 23, it kept switching back and forth between Kazuki trying to rescue Soushi, and the Festum attacking the island. So I wondered what it would be like if it had just focused on Kazuki and Soushi. And thus this story was born.
This story will contain spoilers for the last four episodes of Fafner, and the Gone/Arrive CD drama (which is set during episode 24). I do take some lines directly from Gone/Arrive; but my translation probably isn't that accurate...
In any case, enjoy the story!
ALL ALONE IN THE NIGHT: PART ONE
It came at him out of nowhere, suddenly latching onto his mind, clawing its way inside. It had talked to him earlier that day, tried to distort his mind. But this felt different. He could feel it...
Soushi let out a sharp scream of pain, his head jerking back at the sudden force.
'No, it can't be...'
"This is... crossing. Machine code... Mark Nicht."
"'Anata wa soko ni imasu ka?"
He felt numb all over, yet at the same time so heavy, so very heavy. He could barely keep his eyes open.
"The Festum has crossed with the system... It's inside my mind," Soushi whispered, feeling a cold hand resting on his shoulder, and equally cold breath brushing against his ear.
"I am you. You are me," the blond Festum murmured, a bright green assimilation crystal bursting out from its palm. "Let's become one… Soushi."
Soushi gasped as the Festum shoved the crystal into the back of his chair, and watched with blurred vision as the assimilation crystal began to spread from the Niblung system across his hands and feet.
'Am I being assimilated? Kazuki... help me.'
"Soushi! Can you hear me? What happened?" Kazuki cried out, desperate to get a response.
Everything seemed to have gone wrong in those few seconds. The Festum's unexpected appearance had thrown them completely off-guard, and Kazuki couldn't help but panic when he heard Soushi's scream of pain.
Tsubaki gasped and collapsed to her knees, the crossing between her and Kazuki instantly broken.
"Soushi, answer me!" Kazuki called again, before looking down at the shivering form of Tsubaki. "Tsubaki, what happened just now?"
"T-the Festum... It, it-- It crossed with the system," Tsubaki managed to choke out, clutching at her stomach. "It's filled with so much rage, so much hatred..."
"The Festum crossed with the system?" Kazuki echoed, a feeling of dread sweeping over him. "But what about Soushi?"
"No, please stop this," Tsubaki whispered, not seeming to hear Kazuki. "People aren't filled with only hatred. Please... understand!"
"Kazuki..."
"Soushi! Are you alright?" Kazuki asked, trying to ignore the hollow feeling in the pit of his stomach. Soushi had to be alright!
"Kazuki... Help me. The Festum, it's trying to assimilate me…"
Soushi's words made his blood run cold. That was it; he had to get him out of there right now.
"Hang on, Soushi! I'm almost there," Kazuki called to him. The Festum roots suddenly began to grow, surrounding the Siegfried System again, and blocking his path. With a snarl of fury, Kazuki began to claw at the roots.
"Get out of my way!" he roared, breaking the tentacle-like roots with his Fafner's strong hands, only to have more replace them. "I have to get to Soushi! I have to get to him!"
"Kazu... ki..."
Kazuki recognised that tone of voice, the slow strangled voice of someone who'd been assimilated. Kouyou had sounded like that when he'd been assimilated...
"Soushi! Soushi! Soushi! Soushi!" Kazuki yelled hysterically, increasing his efforts to break him free, tearing and yanking at the roots.
It happened in a split-second; a blinding light filled his vision, and he felt pain ripping through his arms, throwing him backwards and forcing a scream of agony from his throat.
Kazuki felt his Fafner crash into the aqua-blue computerized water. The booming noise was deafening as he struggled back to his feet, and realised that Mark Sein's arms had been torn off.
That suddenly registered in his mind. 'Torn off? But how could that happen? Unless...' At that moment he looked up, and froze, temporarily forgetting how to breathe.
The Siegfried System was gone, a large, smoking crater in its place. The roof was also gone, showing a bleak, smoke-filled sky.
'No... He's, he's--!'
With horrified eyes, Kazuki stumbled forward, his Fafner flailing in the water.
"Soushi! Soushi! Soushi!" he couldn't stop himself from screaming, his gaze finally resting on the space where the Siegfried System was, confirming that it had been blown up.
"SOUSHI!"
Kazuki fell to his knees, sending up waves of water, shivering inside his Fafner. From her position, still collapsed on the metal floor, Tsubaki looked over at him weakly.
"They blew up the system. Soushi was inside it. Soushi... Soushi is..." Kazuki couldn't finish, as he began to sob hysterically.
A flash of movement high up in the sky made him look up quickly. He narrowed his eyes as he made out the shape of a black Fafner.
"Festum... that's the Festum who did this," Kazuki growled quietly, his grief fuelling the sudden rage that flooded through him. He turned and began to fly upwards at a breathtaking speed.
"That thing, it... it killed Soushi!"
Now it was going to pay.
With a roar of determination, Kazuki slammed Mark Sein into the Festum controlled Fafner. Sparks of metal went flying at the force of the impact, and Kazuki continually rammed into it, pushing it up through the clouds, away from the island.
"Give him back!" Kazuki bellowed about the noise, his throat feeling raw from all his screaming. "Give me back Soushi!"
The Festum ignored him and struggled to break away, assimilation crystal jutting out every which way.
"Give him back!" Kazuki demanded again.
Kazuki was abruptly sent hurtling backwards, and with gritted teeth he watched as the Festum exploded from the inside out.
"SOUSHI!" Kazuki let out this one last cry as exhaustion finally overcame him, and the darkness came rushing to greet him.
Kazuki sat in silence. Staring with unfocused eyes at the little clay pot he'd been attempting to make, trying to piece everything together.
Soushi was dead. He had failed to save him. That Festum had taken him away.
He hadn't expected to feel this way; a sick, empty feeling twisting about in his stomach. Not since his mother had died had Kazuki felt this way. And in a strange way, it almost seemed more painful this time.
He crushed the still-wet clay pot between his fingers, starting again, trying to take his mind off it, and trying to ignore the incessant throbbing pain in his right eye.
Trying to ignore the emptiness in his heart.
Kazuki knew that his eye was getting worse, that he'd been partially assimilated, just like Sakura. And he knew that it would eventually kill him.
Just like Soushi...
But the Festum had gone even further with Soushi; they'd blown up the Siegfried System, too, just to crush any chance Kazuki had of rescuing him.
Kazuki could see it every time he closed his eyes, haunting him; the blinding light, the inescapable force throwing him backwards, and the pain of his Fafner's arms being torn off.
And then he'd looked up and seen the smoking crater where the Siegfried System had been, and he'd realised what that meant: no physical pain could compare to that.
Even if Soushi had survived the explosion, he'd still be assimilated. And if he somehow hadn't been assimilated, he'd have been blown up moments later.
"Those basterds," Kazuki whispered darkly, his fingers clenching and crushing the fragile clay pot. He wanted to make the Festum suffer, to make them feel the pain he was feeling right now. He wanted to crunch then beneath Mark Sein's feet and watch the life drain from their eyes.
He wanted revenge.
It was strange; he'd never wanted revenge before. Even after Shouko and Mamoru had been killed, or after Kouyou and Sakura had been assimilated. Even after the loss of his own mother, not once had he wanted revenge. And he had always hated the part of him that enjoyed killing the Festum.
What was it about Soushi that made him feel differently?
Kazuki knew what it was; the feeling he'd had for years now, but had only began to understand what it meant recently.
When he'd been trying to escape from the NEO UN base, and all he could think of was how he had to get back to the island, how he had to see Soushi again. And then when he thought it was all over, he had just wanted to talk to Soushi one last time.
At that time, he had realised what this feeling was.
"I love him," Kazuki said into the darkened room.
And now that Soushi was gone, Kazuki didn't think he could bear going on without him.
He didn't want to have to wake up and face the day without seeing his face; without running to greet him on the path to school; without sitting beside him at lunch and offering him some of his homemade meal; without hearing his polite voice as he eagerly excepted the food; without walking into Alvis each day and seeing him standing there, waiting to explain today's mission to him; without his gentle touch on his shoulder during his pilot training sessions.
Without him...
"Soushi..." Kazuki shuddered, bringing his knees up to his chest and hugging them tightly, resting his head on his arms as he started to cry.
He wanted to wake up and find out that this had all been some terrible dream, to find that Soushi had never been trapped inside the system, and that the Festum had never taken him away.
He wanted to feel Soushi's arms around him, and his head resting against his shoulder, safe and warm; by his side, where he belonged. If he closed his eyes, Kazuki could almost see him...
"But that not going to happen," Kazuki said in a raspy voice, opening his eyes. "Soushi's dead."
Kazuki swallowed and continued with his pottery, hoping that he would manage to stop crying soon.
"I will have my revenge on those Festum," he vowed out loud, eyes narrowing. He had an idea of what to do, how to get his revenge and maybe even make the emptiness go away.
His father would be back soon, to discuss matters with him; matters such as Soushi's funeral. They usually had the funeral quite soon after the person died, or at least, they had with Kuramae and Shouko's deaths. They hadn't had a chance to have Mamoru's funeral yet, and Kazuki guessed they may have it the same time as Soushi's...
"No!" Kazuki said, biting down on his lip to keep from crying again. "I don't want to think about it. I don't want to talk about it. I just want it to all go away. ... I just want to see Soushi again."
When Fumihiko arrived, Kazuki knew he would have to tell him about his plan. His father wouldn't be happy about it--
'Of course he won't be happy about it!'
--But Kazuki didn't know what else he could do; he felt like he was slowly going insane, just sitting here doing nothing, feeling himself slip away.
Kazuki brought his hand up to his injured eye, pressing it against the closed lid, and feeling the tingles of pain that it left in its wake. It was almost comforting in some strange, twisted way. It made him feel slightly closer to Soushi... because now he too had an eye injury.
Kazuki looked up as he heard the front door sliding open, and saw his father step inside.
"Hello, Kazuki."
"Hello, dad."
"Are you feeling any better?"
"Yes, a little bit. My eye doesn't hurt quite as much as it did yesterday; the painkillers I took must have kicked in," Kazuki said evenly.
"No, I meant about... what happened yesterday," Fumihiko said, careful not to mention Soushi's name directly.
"Oh. In that case, no, I'm not feeling any better."
A silence fell over them as Fumihiko sat down beside him.
"Dad, I... I want to talk to you about something," Kazuki began hesitantly, switching off the pottery machine. "My body has been assimilated like Sakura's. I'm dieing, aren't I?"
"Kazuki. No, I'm sure that we can find some way to stop the assimilation," Fumihiko said quietly. "I'm sure we will..."
"You don't have to pretend, dad. That not what I really wanted to talk to you about. Dad... I want to go to the north-pole and fight the Festum - alone."
"What are you talking about?" Fumihiko asked in alarm, taking in the sad, yet calm look on his son's face. "You can't be serious."
"I am. I want to go for Soushi's sake."
"Kazu--"
"No, please listen to me," Kazuki interrupted, his voice rising slightly. "At that time, when mother was killed, this is how you felt, wasn't it? It's the same feeling."
Fumihiko couldn't help but gasp slightly at the mention of Akane.
"But back then you didn't have the power to kill the Festum, to get your revenge," Kazuki continued. "But I can. With Fafner I can!"
"No! Kazuki, I--"
"I have to go and kill them for his sake, dad!"
"You can't go!" Fumihiko shouted back. "You and Mark Sein are vital; if you go, who will protect this island?"
"Toomi and Canon are still here," Kazuki said desperately. He had to convince him. "And Kenji, too."
"I don't think he's in any state of mind to fight."
"I'm sure he'll be able to do it. Since Sakura has been assimilated, and Mamoru and his mother are dead, I'm sure he'll protect the island in their memory."
Fumihiko shook his head slowly. "I still don't think you should do something so stupid and dangerous."
"But don't you understand?" Kazuki cried, feeling frustrated. "I've been assimilated. My body is going to end up like Sakura's soon. I'm dieing anyway! So I might as well go on my own!"
"Stop it, Kazuki," Fumihiko pleaded, not wanting to listen to him, or admit that he was right.
"Please, dad, please let me go. I can't just sit here anymore," Kazuki begged, his voice broken. "Please let me go while I still have the chance. I can do it. It's OK. I can go and fight alone!"
Fumihiko watched as Kazuki turned away and began to sob once again. He didn't want Kazuki to go, because if he did, he would probably never see him again. And yet at the same time, what Kazuki said was true; he had been assimilated and his body was breaking down.
If he was going to die either way, then shouldn't he be able to have this one wish granted? Who was he to stand in his son's way, if it would give him some small comfort before the end?
With a heavy heart, Fumihiko nodded. "OK, Kazuki. You can go," he said, forcing the words out.
Kazuki gazed at hi, tear-filled eyes wide in disbelief. "Dad... I… Thank you, dad."
The assimilation crystals were slowly crawling up his arms and legs, covering him.
'Am I being assimilated?' he wondered, ever as the crystal kept higher. 'I must be. But, I don't want... I--'
Opening his mouth, Soushi tried his best to answer Kazuki's incessant calls.
"Kazuki..."
"Soushi! Are you alright?" Kazuki responded frantically.
Swallowing the lump of fear that was gathering in his throat, and ignoring the strange floating sensation that was rushing through him, Soushi whispered weakly, "Kazuki... help me. The Festum, it's trying to assimilate me..."
He heard Kazuki's sharp intake of breath; it sounded oddly distant.
"Hang on, Soushi! I'm almost there!"
Soushi's head drooped as he fought to stay conscious, clinging to Kazuki's fearful voice as though it were a lifeline. He felt the Siegfried System begin to shake as Kazuki tore at the Festum tentacles with Mark Sein's hands.
'I don't think I can hold on anymore. I'm sorry, Kazuki...'
Soushi's eyes closed for a second, before snapping back open. His pupils had gone round and vacant, and the assimilation crystal now came up to his shoulders.
"Kazu... ki..." he stuttered, voice slow and emotionless.
And after that he couldn't move anymore; it was as though his body was no longer under his control.
He could hear Kazuki's voice, still screaming his name. And then an explosion happened, and he could hear Kazuki screaming painfully.
And then he was calling to him again.
"Soushi! Soushi! Soushi!"
'Kazuki... Kazuki... I'm still here. I can hear you.'
"Soushi! Soushi! Soushi!"
'But I can't talk anymore.'
Through frozen eyes he watched as Kazuki flew towards them; he'd never seen him look so angry, or so grief-stricken.
'Is it because of me?'
"Give him back!"
'Kazuki... I don't want to go.'
"Give me back Soushi!"
'I'm sorry.'
"Give him back!"
And then it all faded.
End of part one. I should have part two finished soon.
See you then!
