A/N Remember it's fiction, 'kay? That means that I make all this stuff up…
Summary: Five years ago she had nothing, but him. Now she has everything, but him.
I hurt myself, by hurting you
"Welcome at New York's open night concert! With the biggest singers of this time! For the first part of the evening: Please welcome: Justin Timberlake! Avril Lavigne! Kaci Brown! Christina Aguilera! Akon! And… Gabriella Montez!!!"
Earlier this day
"Kels, I think I'll sing the song tonight…" Gabriella Montez sighed while sitting in the huge living room of the suite they rented for the weekend.
"Wait… WHAT!?!" Kelsi Neilson, her producer, her pianist and best friend, exclaimed.
"I know, but if I don't do it tonight then I'm sure that I won't do it anymore, never… you know…" Gabriella said while hesitating the last part.
"Yes I guess I know, but don't you think everyone will be shocked? I mean you have never sung something this deep…" Kelsi said with concern in voice.
"That's true but everyone keeps bugging me about singing a song full with emotion, and I just need to sing it once…" Gabriella said, this time without any hesitation.
"Yeah you're probably right… Ok I'll do it, but don't think that I like it!" Kelsi said, knowing that deep down she was ecstatic to know that she was finally was going to sing the song, and she could something about the situation.
"No, I won't Kelsi but it just keeps bugging me, I just need to do it!" Gabriella said, and started to cry softly.
"I know Gabs, I know. Shh, everything will be all right…" Kelsi was shocked in all those years Gabriella never cried in front of her, or better, in front of anyone. Kelsi was sure that she heard crying at night, but when she asked about it Gabriella always denied.
She was so going to do something about this.
At the concert
"The first singer of tonight is… drums please… Justin Timberlake!!!" The host announced.
"Hey everyone, the song I'm going to sing is 'What goes around, comes around' hope y'all have a great time!!!"
Hey
girl...
is he everything you wanted in a man? Don't wanna think about it, don't wanna talk about
it This is the
way it's really going down What goes around, goes around, goes around,
comes all the way back around Yeaaaaaah Now girl, I remember everything that
you claimed Don't wanna think about it, don't wanna talk
about it
You know I gave you the
world,
you had me in the palm of your hand
so why your love
went away?
I just can't seem to understand
Thought it was me
and you baby...
Me and you until the end, but I guess I was
wrong
I'm just so sick about it, I can't believe it's ending this
way
Just so confused about it, it'll end up in the news about it
I
just can't do without ya, tell me it's this fair?
is this how we say goodbye?
I
should've known better when you came around
That you were gonna
make me cry
It's breaking my heart to watch you run around
Cause
I know that you're living a lie
But that's okay baby cause in time
you'll find...
What goes around, goes around, goes
around, comes all the way back around
What goes around, goes
around, goes around, comes all the way back around
What goes
around, goes around, goes around, comes all the way back
around
You said that you were moving on now(on now)
And
maybe I should do the same (maybe I should do the same)
Funny
thing about that is, I was ready to give you my name
Thought it
was me and you baby and now it's all just a shame
And I guess I
was wrong...
I'm just so sick about it, I can't believe it's ending
this way
Just so confused about it, it'll end up in the news about
it
I just can't do without ya, and can you tell me if this this
fair?
"Now
I know what he has been going through…" Gabriella
thought deep in thoughts. This
is the way it's been going down What goes around, goes
around, goes around, comes all the way back around Yeaaaaaah What goes around, comes
around (comes around) Yeaaaaaah Don't
wanna think about it, don't wanna talk about it This is the way it's
been going down What goes around, goes
around, goes around, comes all the way back around Yeaaaaaah Yup, yup What goes around, comes back around (Take it to 'em
eyy..)
is this how we say goodbye?
I
should've known better when you came around
That you were gonna
make me cry
Now it's breaking my heart to watch you run
around
Cause I know that you're living a lie
But that's okay
baby cause in time you'll find...
What goes
around, goes around, goes around, comes all the way back around
What
goes around, goes around, goes around, comes all the way back
around
What goes around, goes around, goes around, comes all the
way back around
What goes around, comes around
(comes around)
You should've known that...
What goes around,
comes around (comes around) Yeaaaaaah
What goes around, comes
around (comes around)
You should've known that...
I'm just so sick
about it, I can't believe it's ending this way
Just so confused
about it, it'll end up in the news about it
I just can't do
without ya, tell me if this this fair?
is this how we say goodbye?
I should've known
better when you came around (should've know better)
That you
were gonna make me cry
It's breaking my heart to watch you run
around
Cause I know that you're living a lie
But that's okay
baby cause in time you'll find...
What goes
around, goes around, goes around, comes all the way back around
What
goes around, goes around, goes around, comes all the way back
around
What goes around, goes around, goes around, comes all the
way back around
Let me paint this
picture for you baby
yup
You spend your nights alone
And he
never comes home
And every time you call 'em
All you get is a
busy tone
I heard you found out that he's doing to you
What you
did to me, ain't that the way it goes?
When you cheated girl, my
heart
So it goes without saying "imagine let me feeling
hurt"
Just a classic case, it's a sce-sce-scenario
Tale is
oldest time, girl you got what you deserved
And now you want
somebody to cure the lonely nights
You wished you had somebody
that can come and make it right
Well girl I ain't somebody and not
a sympathy (see, see)
I
thought I told ya, hey eyyy
What goes around, comes back around
I
thought I told ya, hey eyyy
What goes around, comes back around
I
thought I told ya, hey eyyy
What goes around, comes back around
I
thought I told ya, hey eyyy
Haha...
(Take it to 'em eyy...)
(Hey, hey,
hey...)
See, you should've listened to me baby
(Take it to 'em
eyy...)
(Hey, hey, hey...)
(Take it to 'em eyy...)
(Hey,
hey, hey...)
Haha...
Gabriella sighed and thought, "He's so right, never thought something this big behind"
The host got on stage again and said, "Thank you, Justin! Hope we will see you more tonight!!! Our next performance is from our one and only Miss Aguilera!!!"
"Thank you, the song I'm going to sing is Cruz. Enjoy!!!"
I'm
leaving today Slowly
drifting into a peaceful breeze I'm leaving today As I'm driving I'm captured by the
view.. I'm leaving
today Turn
out the radio Slowly drifting into a peaceful
breeze.oohhmm Oeh yeahh! Living it, leaving it
Living it, leaving it to change
Tongue tied, twisted are all my
memories
Celebrating a fantasy come true
Packing all my bags
finally on the move
I'm living it ohh,
leaving it to change
Of so much beauty, the road becomes my muse
The h
Cool, calm,
collective… is a child that lost a thing
I'm living it oh, I'm leaving it to change
I'm leaving
today
oh yes
I'm living it oh, I'm leaving it to change
But
somehow I'm missing
I think I really miss it one day..
and I'm feeling like I've never felt before...
Turn
down the memories of yesteryears and broken dreams
I'm free,
finally free oehhh
I'm leaving today
I'm living it
Oh Yeah, leaving it to change To change...
See I'm leaving today…
ooh yes
I'm living it, I'm leaving it to change
I'm leaving
today (Oh I'm leaving it to change)
Living it, I'm leaving it to
change
Said I'm living it, leaving
it
Living it, leaving it to change
(I'm leaving it to change)
But somehow I miss it
I think I really miss it
One day
"I miss him so much… I need to be strong, to do this…" Gabriella thought. Then the host came up and said, "And that was a great performance, I guess that Akon also is going to try for such a big thing?"
"I hope so; here is Sorry, blame it on me"
As
life goes on, I'm starting to learn more and more about
responsibility. I'm sorry for the times that I left you home That you were
sitting home just wishing we I'm sorry for the wrong things that
I've done Because I'm in the streets like everyday I understand that there's some
problems If I can't
apologize for being wrong said,
you can put the blame on me I'm sorry for the things that he put you through When you would rather be home with all your kids He got
up and left you there all alone I'm sorry that I grew up
way to fast I understand that there's some
problems If I can't
apologize for being wrong said,
you can put the blame on me I'm sorry that it took so long to see I'm sorry for the
hand that she was dealt I'm sorry for Club Zen
getting shut down Why doesn't anybody want to take blame Even
though the blame's on you And
you can put that blame on me And
you can put that blame on me
And I realize that everything I do is affecting
the people around me.
So I want to take this time out to
apologize for things that I've done,
things that haven't occurred
yet,
and things that they don't want to take responsibility
for.
I was on
the road and you were alone
I'm sorry for the times that I had to
go
I'm sorry for the fact that I did not know
Could go back to when it was just you
and me
I'm sorry for the times I would neglect
I'm sorry for
the times I disrespect
I'm sorry I'm not always there for my sons
I'm sorry
for the fact that I'm not aware
That you can't sleep at night when
I am not there
I'm
sorry for the things that I did not say
Like how you are the best
thing in my world
And how I'
And I'm not too blind to know
All the pain you kept
inside you
Even though you might not show
Then it's just a shame on me
I'll be
the reason for your pain
And you can put the blame on me
said, you can put the blame on
me
said, you can put the blame on me
you can put the blame on
me
And all
the times you didn't know what to do
I'm sorry that you had to go
and sell those bags
Just trying to stay busy until you heard from
Dad
As one
big family with love and bliss
And even though pops treated us
like kings
He got a second wife and you didn't agree
I'm sorry that you had to do it on
your own
I'm sorry that I went and added to your grief
I'm
sorry that your son was once a thief
I wish I would of listened and not be so bad
I'm
sorry that your life turned out this way
I'm sorry that the feds
came and took me away
And I'm not too blind to know
All the pain you kept
inside you
Even though you might not show
Then it's just a shame on me
I'll be
the reason for your pain
And you can put the blame on me
said, you can put the blame on
me
said, you can put the blame on me
you can put the blame on
me
But they were dead
wrong, trying to put it on me
I'm sorry that it took so long to
speak
But I was on tour with Gwen Stefani
And for the embarrassment that she
felt
She's just a little young girl tryin to have fun
But daddy
should of never let her out that young
I hope they manage better next time around
How
was I to know she was underage
In a 21 and older club they
say
Verizon backed
out, disgracing my name
I'm just a singer trying to
entertain
Because I love my fans, I'll take that blame
Even though the blame's on you
Even
though the blame's on you
I'll take that blame from you
And you can put that blame on me
you
can put that blame on me
you can put that blame on me
"He always took the blame; he was always the one to apologize. Not me, never me, why not? Why could I never take the blame? But I guess it's too late…" Gabriella thought while having a fake smile plastered on her face, the smile she already wore for 5 years.
"And that was Akon!!! Now, the girl with a bad girl attitude, Avril Lavigne!!!"
"You think high of me, don't 'cha? Here is why!"
Why,
do you always do this to me? Do you expect me to believe I was the only one to fall? It's not supposed to
feel this way Hey, listen
to what we're not saying Do
you expect me to believe I'm gonna let us fall apart? It's not supposed to feel this way So go and think about whatever you
need to think about It's not
supposed to hurt this way It's not supposed to hurt this
way
Why, couldn't you just see through
me?
How come, you act like this
Like you just don't care at
all
I
could feel I could feel you near me, even though you're far away
I
could feel I could feel you baby, why
I need you, I need you
More and more each
day
It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you,
I need you
Tell me, are you and me still together?
Tell me, do
you think we could last forever?
Tell me, why
Let's play, a different game than what
we're playing
Try, to look at me and really see my heart
I could feel
I could feel you near me, even when you're far away
I could feel I
could feel you baby, why
I
need you, I need you
More and more each day
It's not supposed
to hurt this way
I need you, I need you, I need you
Tell me,
are you and me still together?
Tell me, you think we could last
forever?
Tell me, why
Go ahead and dream about whatever you need to
dream about
And come back to me when you know just how you feel,
you feel
I could feel I could feel you near me, even though you're
far away
I could feel I could feel you baby, why
I need you, I need you
More and more
each day
It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need
you, I need you
Tell me
I need you, I need you
More and more each day
It's not
supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you, I need you
Tell
me, are you and me still together?
Tell me, do you think we could
last forever?
Tell me, why
"I can tell you why… it is because I was so stupid… after this it's my turn…" Gabriella sat there while all the thoughts hit her in her head, on the outside you didn't see anything of that.
"Thank you Avril!!! Now we have the total opposite of Miss Lavigne, please welcome: Kaci Brown with just an old boyfriend!!!"
I
see you on the street But there'll come the moment that we're gonna meet
(again Anyone
can see the love we killed is killing me From
the moment that we're gonna meet (again) Nothing more and nothing
less
My broken heart still skips a beat
I hear
your name inside I go insane
Baby each day that we don't touch
is
one more day it hurts too much
I can't forget the love that we
made
Baby it won't even bother me (no-o)
Trying to make it to the
day you'll be
Just an old boyfriend
Won't be thinking of you
every night (what boy?)
Only wishing we could only try (once
more)
Won't tear me up inside
Just an old boyfriend
I'm just so sad to lose
what we had - Oh yeah
There's no doubt that I should be ok by
now
But I'm not there yet
It hurts me so bad but
Baby it won't even bother
me (no-o)
I'll be looking to the day you'll be
just an old
boyfriend
Won't be thinking of you every night (what boy?)
Only
be wishing we could only try (once more)
You won't tear me up
inside
just an old boyfriend
No more living with regret
Your memory won't get
The
best of me, the best of me
Oh you're gonna see
From
the moment that we're gonna meet (again)
Baby it won't even bother
me (no-o)
I'll be looking to the day you'll be
just an old
boyfriend
Won't be thinking of you every night (what boy?)
Only
be wishing we could only try (once more)
you won't tear me up
inside
just an old boyfriend
From
the moment that we're gonna meet (again)
Baby it won't even bother
me (no-o)
I'll be looking to the day you'll be
just an old
boyfriend
Won't be thinking of you every night (what boy?)
Only
be wishing we could only try (once more)
you won't tear me up
inside
just an old boyfriend
"Here goes nothing… fuck, what if I screw up? What if all those people will totally think it is weird because it's personal? Darn since when do I even care about those 'people'? I hope that maybe this will let me take my mind off of him…" Gabriella thought while waiting for the host to say her name and then get on stage.
"Thank you Kaci!!! Now our star-guest of tonight, please welcome GABRIELLA MONTEZ!!!" The host announced.
"Thank
you, err, well, this is a song I wrote a long time ago, because I did
something really stupid and I thought that tonight would be the right
time to sing it so… here it goes, it's called hurt………"
Seems
like it was yesterday when I saw your face
You told me how proud
you were, but I walked away
If only I knew what I know today
Ooh,
ooh
Everyone
gasped; Gabriella Montez wasn't the person to sing slow, emotional
songs. She was always the one to sing everything but emotional
songs. I
would hold you in my arms
I would take the pain away
Thank you
for all you've done
Forgive all your mistakes
There's nothing I
wouldn't do
To hear your voice again
Sometimes I wanna call
you
But I know you won't be there
Gabriella
had a hard time by trying not to cry, to her it felt like she was the
only in the world. Ohh
I'm sorry for blaming you
for everything I just couldn't do
and
I've hurt myself by hurting you
A
guy looked at the screen and all the pain, anger and love that was
bottled deep down wanted to come out, but he didn't let it. Not
yet. Some
days I feel broke inside but I won't admit
Sometimes I just wanna
hide 'cause it's you I miss
And it's so hard to say goodbye
When
it comes to this oohoh
Kelsi
kept playing and looked at Gabriella, she was proud of her; because
she finally let out all her emotion that was bottled on the
inside. Would
you tell me I was wrong?
Would you help me understand?
Are you
looking down upon me?
Are you proud of who I am?
20 million people looked at the screen, at home and in the crowd, trying to figure out what happened. Then it happened and everybody gasped in shock; a tear made his way to Gabriella's cheek.
There's
nothing I wouldn't do
to
have just one more chance
to look into your eyes
and see you
looking back
Gabriella
felt the tear falling but she didn't do anything about it. She knew
that this wasn't the last tear. Ohh,
I'm sorry for blaming you
for everything I just couldn't do
and
I've hurt myself, oohoh
The
guy wanted to get on stage, wipe away her tears and tell her that
everything would be ok… but he couldn't; that would be a lie. If
I had just one more day
I would tell you how much that I've missed
you
Since you been away
Ooh, it's dangerous
It's so out of
line
To try and turn back time
Kelsi
knew that this was about to come; when Gabriella wrote this part she
was sad… but most angry, angry at herself and angry at the
world. I'm
sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And
I've hurt myself
By hurting you...
Only a millisecond after Gabriella finished her song, another one started. The host and everyone else looked confused; Gabriella was the last to perform and the song was only played on an acoustic guitar.
I
can take the rain off the roof of this empty house
That don't
bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them
out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though
going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now
and again I pretend I'm ok
But that's not what gets me
Gabriella
looked up, confused. She knew
that voice. She stood up and tried to find out where it came from,
without any luck. What
hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to
say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What
could've been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was
trying to do
Now
tears were spilling from his eyes, finally he could let
out his emotions without breaking something. It's
hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm
doing it
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends
and I'm alone
Still harder
Getting up, getting dressed, living
with this regret
But I know if I could do it all over
I would
trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left
unspoken
Kelsi
smiled; her plan worked so far, now the only thing that had to be
done was their problem. What
hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And
watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could've been
And
not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
People
still looked confused, even though a few thought that it was a part
of the concert. They saw that Gabriella was still trying to find out
where the voice came from without any success. What
hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And
watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could've
been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to
do
Not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to
do
Oohoh………
Then he got on stage, to the crowd and everybody at home he was unfamiliar, for Gabriella not so much. She wanted to go to him, hug him, kiss him, but her legs and feet wouldn't let her. He walked up to her and asked, without the mike in front of him, "Is it true what you sung?" when she nodded, unable to speak, he went on, "Then why didn't you come, why didn't you got the chance when you had it? Why now?" She removed her mike too and said softly, "I was afraid, afraid what you would say, afraid of what you would do, afraid of admitting that even I make mistakes, afraid of loosing you forever, when I already lost you… and I thought that today would be— that by now you would…" By now she was sobbing uncontrollably, not finishing the sentence. He took her hand and dragged her with him off the stage. When they were off stage he wanted so badly to kiss her… so bad to hold her in his arms, but yet again it couldn't be that way. He only stood in front of her and watched her crying.
She wanted so badly to have his arms safe around her, feel his lips on hers and get lost in each other. She felt that she needed to say something, so she did, "When I left you I thought that I would be happy because I didn't have anyone to have to disappoint anymore, but I guess, no I know, I was wrong. After I left you, after I signed my contract, after I finished my first track for my first album, I missed you, I missed you so fucking much that it was unbelievable that I didn't broke down all the time, I always regretted everything that I said, what I've done that time… I was always wondering if you moved on, if you had someone else, if you would be happy. And I was selfish and I knew it but I couldn't help it; because I didn't want you to be happy when I wasn't the one who made you happy… even when I was the one who hurt you. And I knew that without you I couldn't be happy, so I stopped doing everything that reminded me of you. I stopped with singing emotional songs; my songs never contained any emotional things… and I just want to say that I'm sorry, I know that this simple sorry won't fix everything that I've caused, but I want to try to regain your trust and love again. I want to do everything that I can do to fix this; I don't want to be that girl that walked out of your life leaving you heartbroken and hurt, I want to be that girl from whom you can be proud of, from whom you can say to other people, 'that's my girl out there', I want to wait for you if you're doing something and won't be back for a while, I want to be the girl that would wait for your touch for centuries, I want to make up to you so badly, because I hurt myself by hurting you. And I can't live while knowing that I broke your heart, my heart would never heal and I would get lost, lost like you told me to that day. But for the first time I wouldn't get lost in you and that would shatter me. In the end I would kill myself for being so stupid, for being everything that is wrong to be."
He could tell that she was being utterly serious on the look on her face, then he spoke up, "Gabi, no guy is worth dieing for, not even I… and I guess that I can try to let you regain my trust again, but my love is impossible to regain again."
She cried, "I'm too late ain't I? I feel so stupid right no, how could I possibly think that you would still love me after what I've done? I--" She was cut off by his lips on hers. The kiss was earth shattering and after they pulled away he said, "It's impossible to regain my love again, because you always had it already…" Then he started to sing softly.
Every
long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart
they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your
loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the
broken road
That led me straight to you
"I love you, Gabriella Elizabeth Montez"
"I love you too, Troy Alexander Bolton"
A/N Happy Valentines Day (let's just look one day back)!!!!!! The next PB&TB chapter should be out soon… I hope…
