We'll light a fire and breathe in deep.
{five times Danny kisses Jez}
[danny/jez. r. through episode 1.03]
~ 2,234 words
i.
He kisses with as much enthusiasm as he dances, and Jez wonders why that surprises him. It's rushed and secretive, and Lauren's right downstairs talking to Claudine and Lola, but Jez can't quite bring himself to care. There wasn't a specific event or comical light bulb moment that had him suddenly thinking 'wow, I think I fancy Danny' but now the other boy's tongue is in his mouth and hands are gripping his hips, pulling him closer, and Jez can't remember a time when he didn't feel exactly this way.
"What the hell, Danny?" he asks, gasping, in between kisses, all the while clinging still harder to the other boy.
"Wanted to see..." Danny says, just as breathlessly, "wanted to see if you'd let me."
Jez almost, almost, pulls away because really that's not the sort of thing anyone wants to hear at any point, but especially not when they're being kissed within an inch of their life by someone who, up to five minutes ago, they thought was as straight as an arrow. If it didn't feel quite so damned good then he'd turn around and walk out, even if it is his room, but it does and he can't and, honestly, the idea only flits across his mind for a mere second before he's lost again in the feel of fingers and hips and Danny.
And then it's over; footsteps on the stairs and girlish laughter drifting down the hallway and the two jump apart as if they've been burnt. Danny stands perfectly still for thirty seconds, breathing heavily, eyes burning a hole through Jez who isn't sure whether any of this actually happened or if he's just quite possibly gone insane.
Danny doesn't say anything as he leaves the room, but his hand brushes purposely across Jez's arm and Jez feels a breath catch in his throat.
ii.
They really should have known the punch would be spiked; if there's one thing performing arts kids are good at, it's staying true to the clichés. Of course, they've also supplied the regular kind of alcohol which is going down well, but there's always the possibility that Nugent or Anna could decide to drop in at any minute and no one wants to be suspended with the end of term show so close on the horizon.
Regardless, the music is good, the dancing is better, and the vodka in their veins is clouding that edge of judgement that reminds them that they've class first thing in the morning. BB has had enough that he's playing along with Claudine's flirtations much to everyone's amusement, and Lola is strutting her stuff in the very middle of the dance floor to rowdy applause. Lauren left early claiming a headache, though it's obvious she was thinking more about her grades than her health and Jez can't exactly blame her considering how the room is sort of spinning and he's lost all feeling in his left foot.
Somewhere between leaning forward and reaching for his drink he finds himself pushed backwards into the sofa until he's staring up at something round and blurry, and he's pretty sure there's a knee digging into his thigh which sort of hurts like a bitch. He blinks once and Danny's face comes into focus.
"Having fun?" Danny asks, leaning down and sticking his elbows into Jez's ribs and it takes Jez a few seconds to realise that the other boy is actually straddling him and that if he were sober this would be really, really painful.
"Sure," he says, though he's not sure he's even going to remember any of this in the morning.
"Good good," Danny grins and then suddenly his lips are pressing against Jez's and the world tilts.
Jez's clouded mind is telling him something about public and ohcrap but it's all disjointed and it's not until Danny's hand finds its way to the waistband of his jeans that he realises that they Shouldn't Be Doing This and pushes the other boy off of him.
And onto the floor.
Danny lays sprawled below, blinking up at him in surprise and looking so adorably confused that Jez has to bite back a groan.
"You're really pretty," Danny says dazedly, a smile splitting his face, and Jez drops his head back against the cushions in exasperation.
iii.
Nugent's worried that, whilst the students are all incredible dancers and fantastic singers, their acting abilities aren't getting the best workout, and so splits up the classes and gives Anna and Stefan the job of supervising a handful of plays. Anna gets the job of persuading Claudine that, no, she can't do a one-woman show because there are seven other people in her group including a rather put out Lauren and Lola.
Stefan seems completely out of his element trying to put together a production without dancing, and it takes him several days to find something both short and simple enough that they'll be able to pull it off in two weeks. However, when he places a copy of Beautiful Thing in their hands everyone just stares at him in shock because, yes, they're all Performers and can pull off anything, but they're also teenagers.
When he asks who wants to play the main roles and is met with silence he isn't sure whether to fetch the nurse or hit them all around the back of the head.
Jez knows this play, he studied it at GCSE, and he likes it and so, with a sigh, he raises his hand slightly and says he'll play Jamie. The smile of relief he gets from Stefan makes it almost worthwhile, but he has to stop his jaw from physically hitting the floor when Danny speaks up and announces that he'll be Ste. Jez isn't sure how Danny even knows who Ste is and when he turns around, eyebrow raised, Danny just grins.
"You have it on your shelf," Danny tells him before he can ask. "Lauren read it through with me. Sorry, I should have asked."
And just like that Jez isn't mad or confused or concerned over the fact that Danny is quite possibly stalking him because Danny doesn't just bring up his vulnerabilities if he can avoid it.
"No," Jez says, "it's fine, I just didn't think it would be your thing, and I really didn't think you'd want to be in it."
"Cool," Danny beams, and Jez wonders how one stupid smile can actually give him goosebumps and then realises that they've been dismissed and he's still standing around like an idiot. It's sort of a relief to be leaving the studio, like fresh air after being stuck in a claustrophobic lift, or at least it is until Danny leans over, lips brushing his ear and warm breath against his cheek and whispers, "Of course, it helps that we end up in bed together."
He presses a brief kiss to Jez's lips and disappears.
iv.
"I don't want you to go," Danny says after pushing Jez roughly into an empty studio and leaning against the door.
"I don't want me to go either," Jez tells him, trying to ignore the fact that they're really having this conversation because that would bring up way too many unanswered questions and he's got enough on his plate at the moment as it is, what with BB not talking to him and his dad threatening to take him away from the only place he's ever felt truly at home.
"Can't you just...I don't know..."Danny says, trailing off, and he sounds as helpless and Jez feels. "There's got to be some way you can stay."
"There isn't," Jez says, "not if I want my father to ever speak to me again."
"So don't speak to him," Danny replies, and Jez's eyes widen when he realises that Danny's sort of actually being a little bit serious. Danny sighs and rubs his eyes with the palm of his hand.
"You know I'd stay if I could," Jez says, and he suddenly really wants to cry. "There's nowhere I want to be more."
"I know," Danny says after a few minutes, and he sounds as if he's just given up on something really important. Jez finds it strange to think that, just maybe, he has. "I meant what I said; nothing's going to change."
Jez smiles and he know that it looks as bittersweet as he intended it to. "What is there to change?"
Danny doesn't speak for a while, watching him with dark eyes and a sombre expression that looks all wrong on his usually carefree features, and Jez thinks that maybe he's gone too far. He's not sure he particularly cares anymore.
"You're an idiot, you know that?" Danny says suddenly, and Jez just blinks because that's not any one of the responses he was expecting. "I'm going to kiss you now," Danny continues, and even as he speaks he's stepping forward, and it's the first time that Jez has seen this coming, and it's strangely perfect.
"Okay," he says idiotically, but it doesn't matter because seconds later Danny has pressed their lips together. It's gentler than their previous kisses, filled with a desperation that's never been there before, and Jez isn't sure how long he can keep his walls up before he breaks down.
"Okay," he repeats when they step apart. "Okay."
Except it's really not.
v.
He's poor and he's homeless, but he's staying and Jez couldn't be happier. BB refuses to leave his side, making up for the brief stint in which they weren't the Best of Friends and, whilst Jez may roll his eyes and call the other boy clingy, inside he just wants to laugh because it's so good to be him again. Lola decides they should celebrate by eating a load of food they can't normally touch and decorating the house with silver streamers and a general excess of sparkles, and everyone agrees because it's practically impossible to say no to her. Claudine just says that she's happy he's staying and asks if he has any cute, rich boys' numbers. He doesn't dignify her with an answer.
Lauren is lovely and sweet and full of sympathy, giving him hugs and asking him how he is every time he walks in a room, and he realises that they will never really be friends because she's just too nice. Oh, and he seems to keep finding himself in situations where he's snogging her boyfriend.
Danny is very possibly avoiding Jez completely, which is both a relief and annoying as hell. Honestly, Jez has been steering clear of the other boy too; everything was just so weird last time they spoke, and whilst he's definitely missed the kissing, he knows that none of this should actually have begun in the first place and it makes it easier to pretend that he doesn't wake up in the middle of the night craving something he can never have.
His plans don't ever seem to succeed though, and Jez finds himself being tugged out of the hallway and into Danny's room as he leaves the bathroom, rolling his eyes at Danny's seeming lack of subtlety.
"What do you want this time?" he asks, raising his eyebrow to let the other boy know that he's not entirely serious.
"Do you really think that there's nothing between us so there's nothing that would have changed by you leaving?" Danny says and Jez's eyes widen for real.
"What?" he gapes, unsure whether Danny just wants him to settle down some insecurity or whether he really means it, and finds himself struggling to breathe.
"Well, do you?" Danny repeats, and Jez realises that he's not going to get out of this one.
"Danny," he sighs, "we've shared a total of four kisses, you have a girlfriend who loves you, and I sort of have absolutely no idea what I'm doing with myself these days except performing. Ordinarily I'd be happy to accommodate your personality crisis, but right now I just want to get back to normal."
"You didn't answer the question," Danny says.
Jez grits his teeth. "That's because I don't know the answer."
"The thing is," Danny says and there's a smile in his voice, "I sort of like you more than should really be humanly possible, and I kind of think that that's good enough to give this a try, you know, if you feel even a little bit the same way."
Jez isn't sure if he's ever been quite this speechless in his entire life and he takes a few moments to organise his thoughts because the world has just spun entirely off of its axis. And then, just as quickly as it starts, it stops, and he's left with an overwhelming sense of right, because this actually makes sense.
Something must show on his face because suddenly Danny's there, kissing him deeply, and then lips are on his neck and his collarbone and buttons on his shirt are coming undone without his having moved his hands further than Danny's hips, and everything's transcended into technicolour.
"I'm really, really glad you're staying," Danny murmurs against his shoulders, hands resting underneath the back of his shirt. "Really glad."
"I'm really glad I'm staying too," Jez tells him, grin flittering across his lips as he tugs Danny up for another kiss, and for now everything's right with the world.
