I don't own The Host. Stephenie Meyer does.

This is the last part of a trilogy, the sequel of In Pieces and Exit Song, so if you haven't read those yet, I recommend you go do that first :)

1. Distrust

Ian's POV

The man that is lying only a few feet away from me closed his eyes hours ago. He lies on the side, with his head turned to the room, facing me.

I've been sitting up all night, my back against the wall, and stared at this man. They call him Reader. I call him just another Seeker. One of the worst kinds.

How can they trust him? How can they let him sleep in here with the rest of us? They suggested that I should sleep in another cabin, but I have to stay with Wanda. She refuses to leave Reader alone with the humans. Just in case. But for me, they all seem to like him very much. They are glad to have him on the team.

They have to open their eyes. This man gave me over to that Seeker. Knocked me out, and tied me down. And I found myself waking up in the same room as Seeker Thomas had me in. There were still stains of dry blood from my last time on the floor.

Reader just left me there, even though he'd planned to save us all. He left me with another Seeker that would torture me. And that Seeker did just about the same things as Seeker Thomas. He stabbed, burned, hit and pounded me down. Time after time. But there were more. Water, electricity, bleach, dehydration, starvation and so on. Sometimes I didn't even know what he was doing. He could go on for so long. I don't even think he slept. He was always in the room. At least when I was awake.

Reader will do it again. Hand us over to the Seekers, stand by and watch as they slaughter us. My family.

He begins to slowly move in his bed. He turns over, and now I can only see his dark, greasy hair. I gaze down on the floor. I know what's under the bed. I put it there just yesterday. It may be small, but it's sharp enough to do terrible damage to Readers body. Just damage. Just pain. That's what I want for him. He'd only be lucky to get killed.

I don't even need to think about it twice. I bend over, try to hold back a painful groan that's building up as I feel my wounds are tearing up again, and reach my hand under the bed.

"What are you doing?" Wanda's sudden whisper makes me jump, and I jerk so hard that I fall over and land on the floor with a bang.

"Ouch," I groan while trying to find out which way is up. I stop for a moment to hear if I woke anyone with my noisy fall, but all I can hear is heavy breathing and soundless dreaming.

"Are you okay?" Wanda whispers and try to help me up in the bed again.

"Yeah. I just thought that I... saw something," I say and drag myself up in bed and lay down next to her. It makes me uncomfortable to lie down. Makes me feel weak. Now he can attack me easily. I turn around so I can look into Wanda's eyes. The silvery circles aren't as clear as they are in daylight now. They don't glow or anything at all. It looks like proper irises. But to me her eyes glow all the time, which I find beautiful.

"You know, I really think you should let Doc heal you," Wanda says and brushes her fingertips carefully over my bruised jaw. "I can't stand seeing you like this."

"What, am I that ugly?" I laugh.

"You know what I mean," she says and smiles. "You wouldn't have to walk around in agony all the time."

"With our medicines, or theirs?" I mutter. The only soul in the universe I can stand, is the girl I love. Everything else, I hate. Maybe not Burns, he's all right. But everything else that revolves around the souls.

She doesn't answer my question, just sighs resigned.

"Are you having trouble sleeping?" She asks and moves her hand up higher, touches my cheek.

I don't answer her. Because I really don't know. I haven't really tried to sleep. But when she mentions it... "It gets worse," I admit and look away. Ever since we came here, I've still had nightmares. Now they are kind of a mix-up between my last "visit" to the Seekers, and my first. Instead of ripping a body part off, I'm simply left on the floor to bleed out. The dreams feel endless, and they are horrible. I just lay there, in every single dream, trying to find a way to get out of the misery.

"Tell me," Wanda says, breaking off my thoughts. She can see that I'm thinking this through. She wants me to tell her what's going on inside of my head. All the time. She just keeps asking whenever I blank out, or even just stare at something for a long time. I've told her it's no big deal, but she says I need to talk about it.

"It's like I'm getting heavier," I say, trying to find the right words to describe the dreams. "It starts off very light and soft. Like fine sand. I feel the warm, soft sand everywhere. On my skin, in my hands, in my throat... Then everything slowly turns darker and heavier, and the sand is replaced with stone, and then it goes on til I've frozen... You know, into stone."

I glance down at her to read her expression, but she only looks like she is listening to me. She is being a great listener.

"I know it sounds stupid," I say.

"No," she says and strokes my cheek softly.

"At least I don't wake up screaming anymore," I laugh quietly and shrug. Wanda's expression is still serious.

"Go back to sleep, now," I say and kiss her on the forehead. She pulls herself closer to me and lay her head on my chest, reaching her hands carefully over to my shoulder.

"Is this okay?" She asks.

"It's perfect," I murmur and pull her even closer, ignoring the slight pain I feel in my ribbons. I stroke some hair away from her face, and she looks up, looks straight into my eyes. She is close enough that I can lean my head forward and kiss her, but I don't dare to tempt fate. I know I will feel a lot more than pain if I lean my body forward like that, so instead, I smile at her, and don't take my eyes away until she closes them.

I don't want to sleep. I'm not going to. I'd rather stay awake til I pass out. I just don't feel safe around Reader. So I lay my head to the side and keep watch of him, just to be sure. But after a while, my eyes begin to feel heavy. I shake my head, trying to keep myself awake. But I feel myself drifting away...

I carefully lay Wanda over to the side in the bed, slowly pushing her away from my chest. It aches when she isn't there anymore.
Slowly, without a sound, I crawl out of bed and walk over to the door. I put on an extra jacket in case it's cold outside.