"Excuse me, miss!" The flustered looking young man called out to China, carrying a stack of papers and glancing about. "It's of extreme importance that these get delivered to the meeting room, they were left with the assistants but they've all gone out so I'm the only one who can bring them over and…" he noticed China's amused expression and faltered. "You… don't speak English, do you. Of course not." He turned red and started to back away. "That was a pretty obvious mistake. I'm sorry–I shan't bother you longer–not that you understand what I'm saying anyway."
"It's no bother," said China casually.
"Oh!" the visitor looked up in surprise. "You mean you can–thank you, madam! Well, what a fortunate coincidence!"
"Indeed it is. I'll can guide you, if you like." They continued down the corridor and turned a few corners.
"What do you call yourself?" China asked.
"Me? I'm Arthur, Arthur Kirkland, at his majesty's service! I'm one of Lord Macartney's trusted helpers in this endeavor. It's all very exciting! For us I mean. It's probably all normal for you, what with living here all your life and all. Um, what should I call you, miss?"
"It's not important." They approached the door to the meeting room. "Here it is. You need to see the ambassador?"
"The ambassador? Oh, no, no, he already has his own copies," said Arthur. "
"Then who are they for?"
"Well," Arthur looked a bit embarrassed–at least more than he had already been. "They're for–you know–China. The Nation, you know? You look like you're familiar with this court, do you know where I can see him?"
China couldn't help but laugh at this point, although he did his best to suppress it.
"Don't laugh at me, I'm serious!" said Arthur. "This is very important business I'm dealing with here!"
"Of course! I should have noticed it first thing," said China. "Pleased to meet you, Yīng gúo."
"What?" Arthur looked perplexed for a moment, but shared the realization soon enough. "Oh. Ohhh. You mean you're–well that explains the language thing," he said. "Although pardon my rudeness but from my information I'd heard that China was a man…"
"Who says I'm not?" said China. "Either way, I was wondering when I'd run into you eventually. Why don't you bring those documents and we can find a more convenient place to chat."
China led Arthur–England, that is–up a few levels of stairs to a small room with a balcony overlooking the city. China gestured to the couple of servants passing by and they nodded and hurried away, returning quickly with some food and drink.
"So… um…"
"I know what you're going to ask, and don't worry, I won't be offended."
"I'm just surprised, but why do you dress like a woman? I mean no disrespect, is it like a common thing in this country?"
"In the opera, maybe, but no, not completely common, at least to my knowledge," said China. "It's more of a personal choice for me. As the nation, I do have a stronger attachment to the older traditions than the regular humans, and that includes keeping one's hair uncut to show loyalty to one's ancestors. However leaders of this dynasty are foreigners who demand all male subjects wear their hair in a Manchu queue or risk death. I've refused them many times, and they've executed me many times for that offense. Of course I never die, but do you know how inconvenient it is to keep being arrested and beheaded?"
England laughed nervously. "I don't think I have as much experience as you, but I can attest that it is indeed a rather dreadful process."
"It's inconvenient for them as well, so we've struck this compromise. I can go about my business as a woman in the court, that way I can retain my own honor without disrupting their image. "
"Isn't it a strange adjustment?"
"It's not so big of a deal. After a couple thousand years you don't care so much about gender as you might first assume. You're not as old as me, but surely you haven't always stuck to being a man throughout your own long life, whatever that means back in your country."
"Now that you put it that way, I guess that makes sense." said England. China poured out the tea for both of them and took a sip. England did the same.
"Now, about those documents you had to show me?" asked China.
England looked a bit bewildered, then reached back into his folder with an exclamation of "yes-of-course!" pulling out a few pages with writing and diagrams on them.
"You see, we were thinking of presenting some novelty items in our to the Emperor, and uh, I wanted to get some feedback on what you think would be best!"
China flipped through the sheets, which depicted drawings of several different mechanical contraptions of ambiguous purpose.
"The Exalted One has many responsibilities to deal with already," he said, "And as I can't seem to figure out exactly what these 'novelty items' are, how do I know that they won't be a complete waste of His Majesty's time and attention?"
"The machines aren't the point," said England. "Yes, I'll admit it. They're rather frivolous and mostly just for show. But you've got to understand! If the Emperor would just allow you to trade with us, there are so many benefits that can be gained!"
" 'Allow me' to trade with you? What makes you think you have anything that I want?" said China. "We can get along just fine without your amusing toys. If its tea and silk that you want, you can continue to buy what you like in Canton, and we will provide you with it. That is as far as we will go."
"Is that so," said England, taking an orange off the plate and absentmindedly turning it over in his hands. "Well, that's all well and good for you. Maybe that's just the way people do things here in the Orient, but it's different in the West. Things are changing, for me and for everyone else."
"People always talk of change! I've walked this continent for four thousand years. Do you know how many dynasties I've been through? I was in my prime before your grandfathers were alive."
"Well, considering your old age, I must say you look quite fetching."
"Yes, I know." China finished his tea. "But enough about me, although I'm know there's already so much to be said. What about you, Arthur Kirkland?"
"Me? Well, to tell the truth it's been quite…agitated back at home, to say the least. Few years ago I ended up losing one of my most major subjects after a rather long and ridiculously inconvenient war, and now there are new conflicts going on in the mainland that I'll probably have to get involved in sooner or later. I can't seem to get a break, but thought we should try our luck eastwards instead, you know? After all, I'm more of a businessman at heart, since unlike war there's no harm in commerce."
"I see." China stood up and cleared the table. "Well, it's been nice meeting with you, Ying Guo. You can decide on your own what you'd like to show the emperor, but I doubt you'll change his mind much, no matter how dazzling your strange machines may be." He shuffled through the stacks of drawings one last time, then handed them back to England. "After all, we are already more than satisfied with what we have."
"Satisfied, you say?" England stuffed the papers back into his folder. "Ha! No one is ever truly satisfied. People always want more than what they have, no matter how much they gain . It's the sort of thing that drives a man"
"Men like you, maybe," said China. "But you will find that the Emperor and myself are not so easily swayed. Come, let's go meet up with the ambassadors."
