Chapter 1: The Box
He awoke to darkness, complete and utter darkness. He didn't even need to open his eyes to know that the world, his world, had been swallowed by the black inkiness of oblivion. Pools of colored light swam behind his closed eyelids and he involuntarily squeezed them tighter, trying to convince himself this was all just a terrible dream. Just calm down, he whispered to himself in the silence. Calm down. He could feel his heart racing and moved his hand up to his chest, wrinkling the fabric of his shirt between shaky fingers and trying to postpone the inevitable panic. Beads of sweat trickled down his spine and forehead. He let them slide down the bridge of his nose and fall onto his lips. They tasted salty.
Calm down, Calm down, Calm down, Calm down
He repeated it like a mantra although the effects weren't as calming as he'd hoped. With his eyes still closed, he reached out to his immediate surroundings, fingers stretching out in timid jerks. His left hand connected with something cold and hard that felt similar to a glass jar. It was heavy and he could faintly hear whatever liquid was inside sloshing up and around the edges. He then brushed something soft, a towel or bed linen of some kind? He pulled it to his chin and inhaled. The fabric smelled clean and fresh, its scent conjuring up a faint memory from somewhere that he couldn't quite place. Eyes still closed, his other senses tingled like electricity. Smells engulfed him from all sides; leather, and manure, and something sour. The air tasted stale. Nothing about this felt normal. Suddenly, a flood of unfamiliar sounds jumped out at him. An awful grinding noise, the scrap of metal against metal, the invisible sound of wind rushing by … No, not by but up. Up? He realized with a jolt that he was moving upward. He needed to open his eyes, needed to get a better sense of his surroundings but fear bit at him like a rabid dog.
Calm down, Calm down, Calm down, Calm down
Slowly, he cracked one eyelid. Not surprisingly, he couldn't see anything in any great detail. Every now & then he'd catch a shadow but nothing substantial enough to gain his bearings. How long had he been trapped in this cold metal box? Where was it headed? What waited for him once it finally reached its destination? Was there even a destination or was he going to sit in this elevator type shaft forever? He couldn't piece anything together; couldn't make sense of what was happening. He couldn't even remember how he'd gotten there. With a horrible, gut-wrenching awareness, he realized he couldn't remember anything. Not a single shred of memory came back to him through the haziness. Even the simplest questions went unanswered in his mind. He had no identity. He had no past, at least not that he could remember anyway. He tried to think logically, that maybe due to some traumatic experience, he'd chose to forget everything about a previous life but there was simply nothing for him to grasp onto. Everything had been erased, scrubbed clean like a kitchen countertop. All he had to cling to was the past five, maybe six minutes, of memory after he'd woken up. That crushing panic gripped him again turning his insides out. He started panting, gasping for air. Tears welled up in his eyes, threatening to spill over at any minute. His legs trembled and his hands shook violently.
Calm down, Calm down, Calm down, Calm down
It wasn't working!
Calm down, Calm down, Calm down, Calm down
Shit!
Calm down, Calm down, C … NEWT
He stopped, his seizing body relaxing suddenly. What was that? It was a word, possibly a memory? He reached back into the caverns of his thoughts.
NEWT
Newt? Was that his name? Didn't sound like much of a name but, for the moment, he clung to it as if it were the only life vest in a massive ocean. He said it out loud this time, his tongue rolling over the syllables. "N-E-W-T"
The more he said it, the more he liked it. It fit him somehow although he didn't know why. Oddly, knowing his name helped ease some of his anxiety; helped give him a purpose. It wasn't much but it was something and it already made him feel stronger, more in control. Stretching his arms out to his sides, he relaxed back into the corner of the box a little knowing, that for the time being, there was nothing he could do except wait. Wait and wonder about what was to come. A few minutes passed and then a few more. Time seemed to drag in this cold, cramped box. The seconds stretched into minutes and the minutes felt like agonizing hours. He waited and wondered until finally … he saw a light.
