I died;it was a horrible accident involving three Twizzlers, duck tape and a pensil sharpenur in the bathe tub; but thin I went to Soul Society and became a shinigami, gradjuating from the acadimy in a month; evryone said I was a really awesome student- my strawberry blonde hair inspired tons of dudes to write poems for me, I had even white teeth and hazel eyes that stared into the bottum of your soul and let you know evrything would be okay that made lots of girls jellus, freckles that looked like Heck Butterflies had sprinkled tiny drops of malk choclit on me with their wings that made beauty parlors shut down, some deal near my neck called a clavicle a creepy dude said was like a brush stroke of perfect calligrafy, and I worked out lots so I had nice mussels but not too big cause I was still kinda skinny, and this one lady said she'd die if she ever saw what I looked like when I grew up but she wasn't really THAT ugly so I just laughed and said I'd die if I saw what she looked like as a kid then she sobbed and ran away after she said I love you, and I had this really pritty Soul Cutter called Kaleidoscope Monarch it was a short sword with a handle guard like butterfly wings and pink and neon green handle, I was okay with using it but I liked the spells stuff a lot too; I made up a bunch once I figured out all you needed were random cool frases that didn't outright say what the spell did but gave you the general idea if your read them the right way; and I never used them on Hollows I always used Kaleidoscope Monarch, so the souls of the Hollows would be cleaned and be born agin as humans- it kinda made me sad once I learned they didn't if you used other ways to kill them; I killed bunches of Hollows and this one old guy said I was really good at it he gave me this test and I passed it and he gave me this long jacket that was white and had the number five on the back and then I got this offiss and got to boss poeple around for some reason but it was tons of fun and they still liked me and we drank lots of this grape juice that had a really strong alcahol after taste and all the guys said I talked really cute after I drank it a lot but that made the girls mad so they only told other guys and me but they only said that when they didn't know I was awake, and for some reason I always had headaches after I woke up; but then I didn't think all fuzzy and my office had been cleaned up and I went back to work writing lots of stuff, numbers and a bunch of boring junk; but I read some history stuff about this evil dude named Aizen who'd been gone to jail a cupple years ago-

he had said something about I will stand in the heavens, and did a bunch of evil stuff so he could to the king of Soul Society's dumention and take over; and that made me wonder about why the king didn't if he was so powerful and junk, and if Aizen was really evil to want that, and then I wondered about not-evil ways to do what Aizen wanted but I noticed evrything would end up making me look like a total chicken inhaler anyways and crazy, too; but then I started thinking more about why the king didn't stand in the heavens and I came up with a few really cool theeries but thin there was a nock on my offiss dore and it slid open and it was one of those ninjas with those weird hats like a sheet of manilla paper folded in half long-ways- he said some acadimy students were being attacked by a bunch of really big Hollow so I said I'm tired of these monkey-fighting Hollows attacking the students on my monkey-fighting time and ran off to fight the big Hollow; I got there in a cupple minnets and there were these three really tall hollow that looked like a mix of lions, pedofiles, and bears and had creepy grinny masks; one of the students was missing an arm but he said it was just a flesh woond so I ignored him and released my Soul Cutter by saying emerge from your cacoon in the eye of the storm, Kaleidoscope Monarch; it didn't really look different but the handle guard looked like pritty stained glass instead of metal, and I slashed it at the Hollows- it has this really cool power of making invisible lines between the stuff I slash it at- so, the Hollow got all tangled up in each other and fell over then I did the flash step thing over to them and sliced threw their masks one by one; then I saw the rest of them students they smelled funny but didn't seem too hurt so we went back and picked up the guy who lost his arm and took him to Miss Retsoo so she could heal him, and then I walked back to my offiss but Miss Momo was outside-

I was about to go in but she said she had been asked to make sure I got this present that was waiting for me, then I said I didn't give a flying fudge-monkey about presents right now because I had important thawts about Hollows to rite down and so I reached past her to open the dore, and I notised it was shut using a spell but I pulled it open anyway and I saw two poeple doing this weird thing like they were wressling and trying to kiss at the same time, and there was a bottle of the really strong grape juice beside there shinigami clothes so I guess they were thinking fuzzy because I didn't think Miss Nanao liked the grape juice, and then Miss Matsumoto winked and asked if I would join them but I said I'll just get some paper and a pen and Miss Matsumoto said that's okay too and then I got the stuff and left, and Miss Momo said sorry like she was supposed to but didn't really mean it so I said I forgive you, chicken inhaler and then went into the next room but that wasn't quiet enough so I went out into this garden that was being planted in a courtyard at sat on this stool at the end of the walkway and wrote down the ideas and theeries I'd had about Hollows and they started to make sense the more I rote; so I decided to visit the creepy captain's place to use a computer to calculate my numbers and theeries, and when I got there they asked wherefore dost thou enquire of our equipment and I answered to calculate the Spirit King, and they laffed but let me use a computer anyways, and it was really cool I found a pattern of waves that were four by twenny-three with an intensity of thirteen, but the energy frequency was one hundred eight so the standin' wave pattern was invisible, but I saw the similar things in the calculated numbers and my notes and rote down the position the standin' wave dealio was ankerred to and where it went- and then I thawt there is one person who can help me with these things, but that person is named Aizen and in jail, and then I decided to get Aizen out of jail and I thawt for a few minnets about how to do that and new there were almost no not-evil ways to do it and that worried me but then I decided to make up a plan to get out once I was inside the jail;

so I walked to the jail and tried to use fancy words like the creepy captain and said I doth desire to inspect this establishment, and they looked at eech other and then let me in it was this really dirty place that was dark and like a pedofile lair evrybody was smelly and looked angry and sad and they all looked at me weird but they also saw my white jacket so they didn't bother me; I was walking for a long time and I think got kinda lost but then I was on the bottum floor, and I could tell Aizen was close and then I walked past him and didn't now it and then I was like oh I failed a spot check again and turned around to talk to Aizen; he was sitting on a chair covered in these black bands like in this one weird magazine I saw once, and he was really quiet and didn't say anything and I didn't say anything too and I looked for poeple coming cause they might think I was evil if they heard me talking about my numbers and notes and calculated stuff to Aizen- there wasn't anyone, so I said Aizen, I have calculated the Spirit King and need your help to reach him; Aizen looked familiar but it hurt to remember who he looked like so I looked at his feet for a while and he didn't say anything when I explained my numbers and theeries and was still quiet after I was done so I asked him if he was in or out and he said I'm in if I'm out and so we chuckled and then I got Aizen out of his sell with a spell I'd made up on the way there, and it let him out of his black bands too and he looked at his hands and feet for a moment before nodding and then I used another magic I'd just made up to get us out of the jail-

and I said Aizen we have to be fast, or someone might catch us so we used the flash step thing to go to the Execution Hill real quick and Aizen asked are you certain the chain is here and I said yes of course I dubble-checked the calculated stuff and then I told him how I'd need him to help supply power for the spell, so he said okay and held my hand wich was kinda scary- but that was how I would get the energy- and I held onto the chain and started saying the spell words: tree by the brook, piper's melody, revelation to the west; spirit of the songbird cry out to the whispering wind, and carry up to golden streets echoing with laughter- way of plotkai number forty-two, Stairway to Heaven- and then I heard this melody like on a music box, that grew stronger as the spell spiraled up the chain, turning into a pearly-white spiral staircase that was shiny; so me and Aizen walked up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up up and up and up and up and up and up and up and are and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up up and up and up and up you up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up still up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up up reading up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up higher up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up this up and up and up and up and up and higher up and farther in and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and I looked down once but it was really high and scary the ground looked like a map drawn by the hand of an idiot, so I just focussed on the steps in front of me and my perfectly pedicured feet as we went up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and then ther was this shiny sliding door that opened, and mist came out from behind it and I heard more music, like when the stairway formed but more awesome this time-

then Aizen said this is where we must part ways, young one; and this confuzed me so I asked but Aizen how will you get home without me and he stared towards the big palace and said all whispery, I am home; and then he dissapeered- I started running towards the palace because I new the Spirit King would be there waiting but this tall guy with deep brown eyes and a scraggly bit of beard and fuzzy hair stepped into my way and posed and asked whyeth doest thou intrude unlawfully herein, and I told him I haveth businesseth with yon Spirit King, then he posed again with his Soul Cutter and said I doeth not supposeth that ye dost, young maiden; I tried to think of more fancy words but all I could manage was: I dost perceive that thou canst proceed hither and yon to thrust thine aroused reproductive organs into the orbital sockets of a Hollow's mask, good sir- and then he sobbed and said I love you before running away, and so I hurried extra fast towards the palace to try to catch up with Aizen; it looked close but then I new that was because it was really huge, kinda like Miss Matsumoto's front- so after a few minnets I finully got to the gate but there was a really gorjus lady standing guard there and she had her Soul Cutter drawn too, and she said thou lookest so nascent to hast succeeded in winning our defense, m'lady, but I dealeth justice blindly; so I replied and thou dressest blindly as well but she only smiled at me and said were heretofore another time and season such a wondrous moment perchance could have begun a most beautiful friendship- but I cut in and said in more fancy words no, thou dost not understandeth my cause hath been borne up over nine thousand years past the appropriate time, and I must needs to confer with the Spirit King at once; but the gorjus lady said forgiveth me, fair maiden-

and I said oh fudge monkeys under my breath because she was about to attack me, and she seemed really strong and pritty so I said Bankai and this cacoon of golden light spun around me and the wen it unravled I had these kickin' butterfly wings like the handle guard of Kaleidoscope Monarch's First Release, and there were these butterflies like the handle guard flapping around me, and I said: Bankai: Cataclysmic Monarch- and the gorjus guard lady looked surprised but ran forwards, just as the pavement blew up under her feet, and the butterflies flapped there wings and glided and fluttered around, and as the guard lady got up a building scooted sideways and pinned her to another building and a brick came flying over from down the street and smacked into the buildings and exploded them, just as the the buildings turned into a hurricane and the gate conveniently blew up- so I flew in there was a twisty spiral staircase leading up this giant room that looked like a really fancy egg/flower thingy with gold trim and evrything and I knew the Spirit King was inside there, so I put my Soul Cutter back into its sealed state and ran up; it only took a little bit and then I saw the door was already open- and Aizen was standing in front of the Spirit King about to attack him, so I yelled no at the top of my lungs and and tackled Aizen away; he got really mad and yelled I have not waited my whole life to be stopped by a meddlesome brat like you and then I yelled the Spirit King hasn't waited all of time to be stopped by a meddlesome chicken inhaler like you; I thawt this was about standing in the heavens Aizen- but then he said and there is only one way to claim the thrown, and he raised his Soul Cutter but I said no there's only one true way- I looked at the Spirit King and I remembered his face but it hurt to look at it, so I looked at his chest and saw the chain, four by twenny-three, and then Aizen suddenly saw the chain too and we both rushed to the Spirit King; I got there first but Aizen stabbed me in the back and screamed no but I looked the Spirit King in the eyes and lifted up my Soul Cutter and tapped him on the forehead with the seal on the hilt, and said long live the king, as the stairway music played in my head...

-Nebraska State Hospital-

June Anderson cradled the music box in her hands, stroking it as if it were Holly's precious strawberry blond head. Her husband Frank sat in the chair beside her, a necessary but unnoticed arm around her tired shoulders.

"I thought she was just taking a bath... why didn't she say anything? We could've called the police, we could've done something!" June sobbed and let the music box fall to the floor as she held her head in her hands, tears streaming down her cheeks. Frank wordlessly held his grieving wife close, tears in his own eyes as well. Holly was their only child, conceived after many prayers and years of trying for a baby. He kissed the top of June's head and gently swayed side to side as the music box tune wound down like a broken heart, then stopped. There was a silence in the room for several minutes, punctuated only by the slow and steady beep of Holly's heart monitor. June sniffed and wiped her nose on her sweater sleeve and looked up to the bed where Holly slumbered peacefully, seeing the woman she hoped her daughter would one day grow into. After fumbling for a second her hand found Frank's and she gripped it as if he was her last hope. June took a few shaky breaths to calm herself, and then looked to her husband. "She's so beautiful when she sleeps..."