Hello, everyone! Katierosefun aka Caroline here! I'm going to make this intro short and sweet - basically, I started watching Attack on Titan a weekend ago - finished the series in one day - and after wrestling around with my muse, I decided to write this thing. I understand that AOT is really a manga, and that this fic might not properly align with the events of the manga, but please keep in mind that I'm going along with the events of the show. (More specifically, post-season finale. Sorry!)
Enjoy!
The Courage of Stars
Eren was used to visitors by now. Mikasa came the most often, carrying trays of food or just keeping Eren company. Armin came with Mikasa, though he occasionally came alone. Even Jean showed up a few times, though he was always sure to keep his distance from Eren. (Which suit them both just fine.)
No one spoke too much of what had happened before. It remained to be the elephant in the room, though Eren didn't feel up to the idea of bringing it up, either. From what Mikasa and Armin told Eren, he knew that Annie was now stuck in her own crystallized shell - and people were still debating what to do with him.
"It'd be best just to keep your head down," Armin had advised. "People are scared of you - but that'll change. It'll have to." Eren had the feeling that Armin was saying this more to comfort himself than anyone else - but whatever the reason was, Eren was grateful. After that, he had switched a lighter topic, which he noticed Armin took on gratefully.
Still, this all felt backwards. Backwards and inside-out and fuzzy. Eren personally blamed it on the lack of news - on the nonexistent stream of updates - on the fact he hadn't stepped outside his room, which was beginning to feel more like a prison at this point. (Almost like the dungeon - only perhaps a little more deceiving and with people allowed to see him. But still.)
Eren was now pacing the floors, occasionally looking out the window on instinct, as though there might be something coming from the walls. (Which couldn't be possible.)
Eren counted the steps as he walked around his room. "Ninety-seven, ninety-eight, ninety-nine..." He let out a groan of frustration, tossing himself back on the bed. Now would be a good time for something new to happen. Next time Mikasa or Armin visited, Eren was going to ask them if it was alright for him to come out now - or at least know when the next time he could come out. Maybe he could even persuade Jean into pretending he was him again.
Somewhat cheered by this, Eren let out a quiet laugh.
Heh. The idea of Jean screaming about his face shape not looking at all like Eren's would bring at least some kind of normalcy back in his life, even if it was just a small detail.
"Keep laughing like that, and people will think you're crazier than you already are."
Eren jumped. He scrambled out of his bed - and stumbling to the floor, he cried, "Levi! I - uh - how'd you -"
"I'm allowed to see you," Levi said flatly, resting against the doorframe. He inspected Eren's room, an unimpressed look on his face. "Your floors are dirty."
"I've been...walking around."
Levi puffed out an aggravated sigh. Eren vaguely remembered Hange saying something about how Levi was an obsessive clean freak. At this, Eren felt his heart sink a little. Rubbing a hand over the back of his neck, Eren said sheepishly, "I can...try to fix it up later...?"
"I don't think they'll allow you an actual broom to do that," Levi responded. He pushed himself off the doorframe, arms crossed over his chest. He turned a little. "Come on."
"What?" Eren blinked.
"I said come on," Levi said over his shoulder. "Before I change my mind."
Eren didn't bother arguing. He hurriedly ran after Levi, only stopping short so he wouldn't crash into him. (Because how embarrassing would that be?)
"Where are we going?" Eren finally asked. He made sure his voice was quiet - he was sure Levi wasn't doing anything against the rules, but he couldn't tell just yet. He had yet to figure Levi out - the most he had gotten from him by his observations was that Levi was just a quiet kind of person. (Even though there was that one time Levi said he actually talked a lot...which Eren still couldn't quite understand.)
"Outside."
"Ah." Eren tried to ignore the odd thrill in his stomach at Levi's words. A part of him was relieved - gleeful, even - that he's finally be stepping out of his room...and yet, another part of him remained suspicious and bewildered, wondering if perhaps this was allowed at all. (And if it was safe. Of course, with Annie put away, the streets would definitely be safer...but what about the damage done?)
"We'll walk on the emptier streets," Levi said over his shoulder. "We'll avoid certain streets."
Oh. Eren felt the knot in his stomach loosen a little. So he wouldn't see what had happened. He managed to reply, "That's fine."
Levi didn't bother responding - and again, the two were making their way across the dim building. It wasn't until Eren felt the cool rush of night air against his skin did he realize he was actually outside.
At first, he couldn't process it all. He kept walking behind Levi, in fear that he would perhaps lose his way - and then, against his will, let out a small sigh of pleasure. He was sure to keep the window open on most days (and nights) to let fresh air in - but there was something much nicerid and more free about actually stepping outside. Eren could feel a slight breeze against his arms, even despite the long-sleeved shirt he wore. He could hear some bugs in the grass - make out the slow-moving, dark clouds across the skies.
They headed out to the streets, the only sounds now their footsteps and the distant creak of swinging doors. Eren caught a glimpse of the ever-growing smoke plumes pillaring above buildings, some larger and darker looking than others. Eren felt a quick flash of shame and shock burn over him. He knew that there had been damage - that had been inevitable - but it was something else to clearly see the aftershocks himself.
"Eren."
Eren forced his eyes away. He found Levi in front of him - and though it was too dark to make out his features clearly, Eren thought he saw Levi's eyes soften only a little bit.
Then again, Eren might have just been being hopeful.
"You're slowing down." Levi said, turning back around.
Fine. So maybe Levi was still Levi.
Eren tried to keep up with Levi and found with some surprise that it wasn't too hard. He slowed down a bit so he wouldn't accidentally step on Levi's ankles. He turned his eyes up to the sky again - and after a few moments, he found them.
Little pinpricks of light shone distantly against the black sky. Eren had thought that the night was starless - they usually were - but right now, he could make out a few brave souls that continued to flicker and shine in the darkness.
Wow.
Eren collided into something. He let out a cry, tumbling to the ground and dragging something else down with him. He felt pain shoot up his legs and his arms as he hit the concrete, and then he heard a different groan that definitely wasn't his. Eren only barely lifted his head to see that his hand was, to his great horror, clinging to the back of Levi's shirt.
Eren quickly let go of Levi, feeling his cheeks warm. "Sorry," he stammered. "I - you were up ahead, and I wasn't looking where I was going."
"That's obvious," Levi muttered, rubbing the back of his neck. Eren winced, standing up to his feet. He offered a hand, adding, "I just - the stars are out."
Levi brushed away Eren's hand, instead getting up by himself. Eren let his hand fall limply to his side as Levi said, "I didn't pin you down to be someone so interested in things like that."
"I haven't seen stars in a while," Eren replied honestly. "Not up close."
"So? No one's looked at stars up close." Levi pointed out.
"No, I mean -" Eren, not for the first time, wished he was better with words. "I mean that I haven't actually gotten around to really looking at them. It's usually cloudy during the nights or too smoky to get a good look at the stars." He pointed up at the sky. "And...this is the first time in a while I've been able to see them," he finished lamely.
Eren braced himself for another backhand comment from Levi - or at least some haughty sigh - but instead, Levi responded, "Do you know the stars?"
"Eh?"
"The stars," Levi repeated slowly, showing the first sign of impatience. "Do you know which ones they are?"
Eren lifted his shoulders. "Not really," he answered honestly. "It was always Armin who was more interested in the names. But..." He tilted his head back up at the sky. "I know the North Star is the brightest - and it's supposed to show your way home." He narrowed his eyes. "There's supposed to be Orion's Belt - the one with the three stars - but I can't ever find it...and the Big Dipper, but..." His voice faltered. "I can't see them."
"That's because there's still smoke in the air," Levi replied. He walked up to Eren's side, his chin only slightly tilted up to the sky. "But at least you know where the stars would be." He pointed up a finger, just directly in front of Eren. "There would be where the North Star should be - always to the north, like the name says. Once you find the North Star, you should find the Big Dipper..." The rest of Levi's voice drifted. He put his hand down and with a shrug, he said, "But that's that."
"You know about the stars." Eren said, looking over at Levi. It wasn't a question. Something - though it was small - had changed on Levi's face. This time, Eren was sure it wasn't just his imagination - Levi's face had softened just a little bit, this time a thoughtful look in his practically black eyes.
"I know about them," Levi replied. "Compared to everything else, they're not that useless." He crossed his arms over his chest. "Hange - you've noticed she's all over the place - she'd talk about the stars sometimes. Mostly about how they're supposedly courageous."
"Courageous?" Eren asked, bewildered.
"I'm only repeating what Hange told me," Levi responded. "Something about the stars - well, they're billions and billions of years away from us. And still, they show up all the damn time. We might not be able to see them because of the clouds or the smoke, but they're always there." He shrugged again. "Hange always found that funny. The stars - they don't necessarily have to be here - but they chose to because they think there's still something they can do, even if it's as small as providing a little light for the lost ones."
There was a beat of silence.
"But that's just what Hange thinks," Levj murmured, dropping his arms.
Eren swallowed. "Then..." He hesitated. Levi was looking at him now, eyes intent and expression unreadable. Eren pressed his lips together, forcing out the words, "Then what do you think, Levi?"
Levi huffed out a sigh. "Courage is courage," he replied, "and stars are just balls of gas that happen to come up because of the terms of science. They didn't choose to be here - they were forced in." He made eye-contact with Eren. "And what about you? Do you also believe in the courage of stars?"
Before Eren could respond, Levi was pressing a hand against his leg, pain flashing briefly across his face. Eren felt his heart sink. They had been up for too long.
"Your leg," Eren said, his eyes widening. "You're still hurt?"
Levi only lifted his shoulders. "Don't change the subject."
"I -" Eren bit down on his lip. He would feel better if Levi and he started walking back now, but Levi remained looking as still as ever. "I...don't know yet," Eren finally said. "I don't know enough about stars to have an actual opinion about them."
A corner of Levi's lips twitched into an unexpected smile. Or maybe it was a smirk. Eren couldn't tell.
"Fine," Levi said, adjusting his footing. "Gather your own knowledge about the stars and their courage - and then come back with some other opinion."
Eren smiled back, though it was a small one.
"We should be getting back," Levi said at last, lacing his slim fingers together. He started to walk forward, though now it looked more like a half-limp than anything else. Eren automatically stepped forward, reaching out to help Levi - but he only batted Eren away.
"I've got my own courage, Eren," was all what Levi said. "Find your own."
A/N - This was my first attempt at trying to write Eren and Levi, so I apologize if it wasn't exactly in-character or as up-to-par as other points of views. Then again, practice makes perfect!
I've also found Levi and Eren's relationship incredibly interesting throughout the show - the way their relationship is portrayed in this story is up to the readers, since I know many fans see Levi and Eren's relationship as different things.
Reviews would be much appreciated! Constructive criticism is alright, but flames are not!
