The Goddess and Her Warrior: Chapter 1
She was simply the most beautiful thing I have ever laid eyes upon.
Sarah was just as I remembered her; long locks like honey from a pitcher, eyes as bright as the afternoon sky, a smile to light up the night. I suppose the bloodstained months away from her have perhaps enhanced her in many aspects in my eyes, but never was there an image to so completely take my breath away.
She was a divine gift and she was mine.
The moment our hands touched it was electric. It made all those months steeped in decaying earth, burning pits and up in the misty skies worth it. I longed for nothing so much as to press my mouth against hers but held back, intimidated by this waif of a girl. Demi-gods and demons trembled at my approach but it was my heart that skipped a beat at her every word.
Yes, I know I'm in love. Sickeningly so. It would be maddening were she not to return my affection.
Then the magical moment was complete; we finally kissed.
Air never tasted so sweet.
It was with both joy and mild disappointment that I heard the pitter-patter of little feet that heralded the arrival of little Amy. She was like a younger version of Sarah and she bounded upon my feet, hugging into my leg. I jolted, surprised but smiled at her presence. To know that I have made people's lives better by my deeds made the many months worth it.
Sarah pulled back laughing and bent down to gently peel her sister away. "Amy, please, he's tired. We must let him rest."
Rest definitely sounded wonderful, but the thought of even a moment out of Sarah's presence felt like a shard of a sword in my heart. Yes, I know how insanely dramatic I sound but you must understand what it is like to be separated from so dear a loved one and then to finally have them by your side again. If having my lady within arm's reach meant I go without sleep forevermore then I would say goodbye to goodnight indefinitely.
But I knew Sarah to be entirely correct. So with a bit of misgiving I let her lead me past Castle Corneila's gate and into the West Tower. There housed the apartments afforded to me by Sarah's parents, the King and Queen. Did I mention that she's a princess? No, I am not making this up, though many a night I awoke fearing that this dream, of the knight who'd won a princess's heart, was naught but ash floating from the depths of a cavern-to be admired, but never accomplished.
Amy ran on ahead of us, squealing in her childish delight. In a moment she'd vanished into the castle. Sarah's arm encircled my own as we walked on after her. She chattered on about how wonderful it was to have me home, how courageous I was to have slain the evil staining the land and how grateful everyone was. With a small smile I listened silently as she rambled on, bespelled by the sheer sight of her.
Suddenly she tilted her head and said, "Why do you not speak? Is something wrong?"
The instant I opened my mouth to reply something wet fell on my lips. I glanced up and a torrent of rain came tumbling down. I revel for a moment, eyes shut, in the sound of it bouncing off my armor. Then I opened my eyes, smiling. "I do not speak because there is simply too much to say. So much in my heart and in my head."
Sarah giggled and then replied, "Then let us not speak but...dance!"
My brows twitched. "Dance?"
"Because we can," she said and with that the princess grabbed my arms and started to swirl around. The feeling was infectious and arms locked Sarah and I whirled around and around while the rain marched down like a thousand soldiers to celebrate our union. Faster and faster we spun, lost in time and space. Lost in each other.
Did I mention I'm also a helpless romantic? I may be a soldier, but the soul of a man in love is often the soul of a poet.
This was the happily ever after. The ending where the hero has saved the world and was reunited with the one he loves.
-break-
Never take a bath and bed for granted.
After a day and a half of rest and the glorious feeling of being scrubbed clean after months on the road I sat in a high-backed chair with a one leg draped over the other. Sarah rambled on and on about the wedding, all aglow as she circled me in one of the castle's chambers. Although I only heard half of what she was saying it was a pleasant sound, one I had sorely missed. She was cheery and chirper as she went about reviewing several gowns laid out before her on a table.
Suddenly the princess stopped and turned around to face me, a smile I could only describe as mischievous on her lips. "I have a wedding gift for you."
Her smile inspired my own. "And I have one for you, my lady."
She chuckled and I knew this to be for my formalities since she'd often enough teasingly chided me about them. It is not an easy thing to depart from giving royal address, for she comes from so noble a family. Indeed were it not for my good deeds I hardly say her family would allow such a union, but upon reflection of them the King and Queen are more than content.
Without preamble the princess darted out of the room into an adjacent bedchamber beyond. I must confess my mind did wander, contemplating what she had for me...and whether what I had for her would be sufficient.
Somehow I always feel like whatever I did or gave could never be enough.
Such doubts are not because of the princess. Many are the times she has told me that she adored me, loved me, respected me. But though I have achieved some amazing things (I still feel as if I was an observer rather than a participant in the battles) what could ever be worthy of such a kind and beautiful woman? Then I shook these thoughts from my head, pieces of silver hair tickling against my neck in a mildly amusing manner.
It is a wonder to be so free of war, blood and death to be able to enjoy so simple a thing.
Sarah returned and I saw something small behind her. I turned the little box in my hands over and over, my sign of nervousness. I stood as she halted before me. After leaving a little peck on my cheek the princess hauled the creature out from behind her. Two red wings flapped, wings I'm convinced could never be used for flying, so small were they.
"This is a moogle," Sarah explained. She gently pushed the little creature before me. "He has protected me for many years and now I would have him protect you."
My jaw dropped. I didn't know what to say. T'was a sweet gesture, though an unnecessary one. But it was a rare creature even in the exotic countries I'd travelled to and after my journeys I had never seen one. Perhaps no more than ten existed in the entire world.
"I am honored," I said softly, "to be presented with such a gift."
Laughter as sweet as any bell filled my ears. Sarah said, "He is not a toy or a pet, mind you. He is a companion. I want you to take him wherever you go, though I hope not to be parted from you much now."
I did not think the creature necessary as I am a warrior and it would be more likely in the way than to be a boon in any battle. But the battles were over now and it was time to cherish the more mundane and domestic things in life. I extended my hand to the creature. It gave a little sound I barely heard and darted back. I ignored it for the moment and opened the box that contained my gift.
"I received this on my travels in the Sea Shrine. A mermaid gave it to me when..." I felt my face flush but continued anyways. "When I spoke of you." As brilliant as the ocean it came from the amulet gleamed as she took it out of the box. "It is enchanted with magical glyphs for some protection from harm."
"Thank you," she said with another smile and twirled around, holding the amulet up to her throat. I took this as a sign to adorn her neck with it and set to task with a certain relish. The feeling of her skin was so unlike the smoothness of my sword. The heat in my face intensified as my mind drifted to the wedding and, more specifically, the wedding night...
A noble knight I be, but still a man and a man who has longed to be with the woman I love.
I can wait, I know, and it's far more honorable (though less enjoyable) to bide my time. Besides any hint of inappropriateness between the princess and I could jeopardize the royal lineage and I had no desire to let mere lust do any harm to the country. The very thought of becoming a King was an intimidating thought as it was. Complications were really unnecessary to think things more complex...
Yes, things were complicated enough. Thoughts of one particular complication swirled through my mind as I contemplated the issue left unaddressed, an issue I myself did not fully understand. The only one that might truly understand was in my arms but had not, for as long as I'd been returned, brought it up once. I'd kept it to myself for fear of upsetting the balance of things. How could I risk everything I'd struggled mightily for over a memory, one I didn't even know for certain was real?
But it is a memory that could change everything, including my love for Sarah.
"Your Highness..." I coughed, chagrined and whispered instead, "Sarah, do you have any memory of...of being something more?"
Facing me, the princess lifted her head and responded, "Memory of being something more?" There was a flash in her eyes, something deep and unreadable. "Of being more than a princess?" Then the shadow flickered out of her face and she started to giggle, "My dear, do you mean of me being queen?"
I shook my head. "No, my lady, of being..." The word floating in my head felt incredulous but I uttered it anyways. "A goddess?"
There was another flash in her eyes, followed swiftly by more laughter. "A goddess? Dear, you do favor me with too much honor. Is being queen not enough?" Something in the way she held her hands in front of her, fingers tightly clasped, made the hairs on my scalp tingle. Something was terribly amiss; I knew her too well not to notice it.
I pressed on, bringing a fist to my chest. "You are so marvelous you might be anything. A queen. A goddess. An angel. But what I speak of is from the past." Sarah's eyes no longer met my own, though I did my best to gaze into them. I took her hands but felt nothing in them, no passion, no warmth, no affection. "Another world where you reigned as a deity, once at war with another god...one we hath defeated."
I did not mention the image scorched into my soul...the image of her burning to dust.
To even speak of such a horror made me fear such a travesty could be real, and thus make those hands I feel in mine mere illusion. I did not even know if such an image was only my imagination, but I did not know if any of what I've experienced, remembered or accomplished was even real. This whole moment itself felt surreal...and when I dug deeper into those elusive memories there was a hint of something more, something darker.
Maybe the shadow of concern flickered in my eyes for all trace of amusement flashed from Sarah's face. It was in deadly earnest now. "You believe this to be possible?"
I nodded. "I do, my lady."
"And you truly wish to know...no matter what it is?"
Again I nodded, with more conviction. "Yes, my lady."
"Then I would have you gone from here. From Cornelia."
I must have heard wrong. She simply could not have occurred me from her side. I could not now be sent away, after all those hard battles and the long road. But the expression on her face was cold as the blade of the sword I carry, golden arches of her brow knit. She withdrew her hand from mine and backed up a bit.
With a small utter despair I slumped to a knee and took her hand again. "Do not send me from your side, good lady. What I speak of I do not understand but we can discover it together. There is much to learn about ourselves." I pressed the fingers against my cheek. "There is no need for fear."
Again her hand slipped out from mine. "If you cannot accept me as I am, then I have no wish to be with you."
Shakes spread throughout my body, though I did my best to conceal them. "I accept you as anything, Sarah. Just to have you near I would go to the ends of the earth...I have gone to the ends of the earth!" My voice rose louder than I intended and I lowered it to softly spoken sentences. "I only want to explore the possibility with you. These memories...they taunt me, because I feel as if I am missing something, a very key part of myself."
The image of a diminutive wooden statue teased along the fringes of my mind, a statue that looked astonishingly like me.
"It is not just your identity I would ask to be explored...but also my own."
It is a plea, the supplication of a lowly knight to his darling princess. But the eyes of my lady remained flat and hard, without mercy of any kind. The moogle retreated behind her, frightened by our discourse I gather. Neither of us has shouted (my outburst can hardly be called a shout) but the tension was as thick as the mist from the Flying Fortress.
As thick as the distance between me and my lady.
"Go now. You will be summoned should I wish to speak with you again."
This was her Royal Highness, the Princess. This was not my beloved Sarah, my soulmate.
Coming to my feet, I bowed to my lady. I can sense the finality of her voice, and the command emanating from it. I am sharply and swiftly reminded of my own inferior rank. Is this what our life would become; her rebuking me for my inquisitiveness and other, minor, things. Could we not return to the days when we could be totally honest with one another?
I collected my helmet from the table and turned around to leave.
"Sydney?"
This is the first time since we've been reunited that she has spoken my name and it was pleasant and yet still dangerous, glittering in my blood. Then came the sound of something being tossed at my feet. I twisted around to see the amulet I'd gifted to the Princess, discarded. A slight sliver of hurt worked its way under my skin as I gingerly stuffed it in a drawstring pouch at my hip.
"Yes, your Highness?" I cannot keep the bitterness out of my voice.
"I order you to never speak of this again. To anyone." Her back faced me now, eyes out the chamber window and to the courtyard beyond I imagined.
I know it is worth a court marshal of the highest order to do as I did, but not a word was uttered in response as the sound of my booted feet marked my exit.
What had happened to my golden fairytale?
-break-
Waiting was the worst.
Three days have passed since I had last spoke with the princess. Three days and no word from her. The explicit instructions to leave the castle haven't come either, which was an immense relief, but in a way being cast out would be better than this silence, this not knowing my fate. Frustration and impatience were building steadily in me but I maintained an outward appearance of calm. After years of not showing my insecurities or infirmities to my enemies and allies alike I'd gotten pretty good at it by now.
So here I stand on the parapets of the castle's highest tower at what was probably close to midnight. I have been unable to properly eat or sleep. The days are beginning to blur together. The nights were cold and unyielding. When I'd first arrived jubilance poured from the city and the castle, joy at my success. There were tournaments, feasts and a dozen other celebrations to mark the salvation of the world.
Yes, I'd saved the world. I'd slain the evil overlord. But I didn't get the girl.
There was something terribly wrong with all of this.
Images danced in my head. Of a wooden carving. Of a golden-haired princess. Of lands both wondrous and horrific. Danced but never landed. Glimpsed but never understood.
My admittedly dour contemplations were interrupted as I heard something step onto the parapet. I sensed but did not immediately see the moogle stroll to my side. It stared up at me with those beady little eyes. I ignored it for a while fancying it would bore and leave me, but it did not so courtesy dictated I at least acknowledge its presence.
"I do not imagine Her Highness would appreciate you associating with me, good creature."
It said nothing, giving me a knowing little smile.
A slight shiver of annoyance wormed its way up me, but no trace of it was in my voice. "What is your name, noble creature?"
"Kupo," it cooed.
"Well then, Master Kupo," I thought this a most bizarre name, but then again this was a rather exotic creature. "What is your business here?"
"Kuppppoooo!" It drew out the word happily.
I blinked. "Yes, I understand that is your name. But why are you here, Master Kupo?"
Kupo stared up at me with a confused expression. It finally occurred to me that the creature could not understand me and was speaking in its native tongue. "You cannot speak Cornelian, can you?" I asked as I bent down to be at eye-level with Kupo. In answer it pushed its little head against my outstretched hand and I realized it wanted to be petted.
I fluffed the fur a few times then stood again. "You should not be out here. It is late."
The moogle pointed at me and uttered a sound I was sure was laughter. For a few moments I just stood there, half-annoyed, half-amused. Then my feelings of annoyance fully gave way to my own laughter as I threw my shoulders back and let go of the loneliness of being denied my beloved's presence. Until she was by my side again that anxiety would never vanish, but the mere diminishment of it was quite comforting.
"Good to see you..." A sibilant voice whispered. "...Whatever your name is."
Like a rod had been shoved down my spine it straightened and I spun around. My sword appeared in my hands as if made of magic. A good soldier was never without his weapons and armor; indeed only a dead one ever was. However casting my gaze about didn't reveal any presence, the wind keeping its steady march along the parapet. Kupo gave a frightened squeal and hid behind me and natural instinct made me do my best to shield the creature with my own body.
"Show yourself!" I yelled, investing every bit of my courage into my voice.
A chuckle floated through the air. Why did everyone find what I said funny? "I think not."
"You fear me?" The tiniest amount of mockery bled through my words. It is not customary of me to scorn my opponents but I hoped to draw them out so I could better know what I was dealing with. I would never take an unfair advantage and while I would never run from a bout, there's no point in handicapping myself unnecessarily either.
"I have nothing to fear from a pawn like you." A silver-haired man stepped out from the shadows, the kind of entrance any villain of rank would envy. The darkness receded to allow me to see the white pauldrons, black coat, suit, boots and gloves. His eyes verily shone, the brightest green I'd ever seen.
"But I don't need a parlor trick of speaking through the shadows to intimidate you." As if to emphasis the point his left hand casually cradled his sword, a monstrous things several feet in length.
"Sephiroth..."I growled. Did this mean what I dreamt of to be real?
The fist around my own sword tightened. "So you've survived Chaos's destruction." My shield also climbed into my other hand. "Very well. Let us do battle and see this put to rest once and for all."
More laughter. His was so much unlike Sarah's as to compare the darkest night to the brightest dawn.
"You've said that to me before and so I shall ask you the question once again: for what reason do you take up that sword?" came his response carrying that deceptive tone of laziness that was truly alert.
My own response was instinctive; there was no need to think about it. "To defend the innocent and defeat evil." I held the sword in a figure eight stance before me and the blade began to shimmer.
Sephiroth made a grunting sound I was certain was derision. "I have a purpose for a puppet like you."
This took me aback, but I only narrowed my eyes. "I would sooner see you dead." The last time I had battled the swordsman we'd come to a draw; Sephiroth deciding that it was no longer entertaining for him. He gotten away the last time; I had no intentions on allowing him to escape this time.
"I think you'll want to see this first."
Though I didn't want to be caught up in whatever illusions the villain had concocted for me (Cloud warned me that what Sephiroth showed was most often a ruse) I couldn't peel my eyes away as soon as I saw the image he'd summoned. On a marble table, imprisoned by glowing chains amid columns of flames, was my Princess Sarah.
"Sarah!" The word came unbidden out of my mouth. The next few words were fully meant to be spoken however. "If you've harmed her..."
"I have not hurt her, noble warrior." The sarcasm flowing from Sephiroth was so thick I thought to be knee deep in it. "However the goddess has angered the High God and invoked his wrath."
"Goddess..." Again I had not meant for the word to slip between my lips but the sheer shock of having a piece of my shattered memories confirmed was too much.
Easily catching onto my surprise the swordsman smiled. "On that's right, you don't really know much about your lady, do you? Or about yourself, for that matter."
The moment of weakness vanished, steeled by my resolve. This time my sword poised for between his eyes. Kupo hovered by my legs, still unable to face the villain. Sephiroth, for his part, showed no interest whatsoever in the moogle. "Are you quite finished?" I asked.
A small snort of amusement told me he was not. "Do not dismiss what I say. You know this to be true. You are a puppet...one who is without true memories. I heard you speak with the other Champions of Cosmos. You mentioned you don't know where you came from or who you are." The green eyes sparkled at my discomfort. "So I shall show you."
A wooden carving appeared in his hand and he tossed it at my booted feet. It was the one in my disjointed dreams. "You are a puppet. A pawn to be used by whoever holds your strings." Again the image of Sarah flickered in and out, tantalizing and tormenting all in the same moment. "And right now, I hold your strings."
"What do you want?" I demanded, cold fear creeping along my limbs. The thought of Sarah as a prisoner horrified me. As a knight I was ashamed of my failure to protect her. As a man who loved her these emotions intensified, clouding my concentration. I felt like I was falling and if I could get a hand-hold on something I could survive the machinations of this man.
"Get on your knees."
I jerked, shocked and a little squeak burst out. "What?"
"Get on your knees. You serve me now."
The very thought of being subservient to a man of Sephiroth's nefarious reputation rankled me deeply. As my knees sank to the floor of the parapets I swear my soul cried out, despaired. Like I was drawing darkness into my lungs I felt Sephiroth's hand lower to my shoulder. What choice had I? I would give mind, body and soul to protect Sarah no matter what secrets she kept from me.
To protect the one he loves a man can be made to bend to the will of anyone, even a villain.
"The only way to save your precious Sarah is to destroy the High God, Shinryu." Sephiroth's voice floated over my head, seemed at a great distance. "He has taken up residence in what you call the Flying Fortress. There you will also find the goddess. If you succeed you may help her escape." I felt rather than saw the way his lips turned up, mocking. "You will remain my pawn however."
"Do not try to escape with or without her if you fail to kill Shinryu. If you try I will kill you and give her as a sacrifice to the High God."
When the green-eyed warrior asked me if I understood I forced an affirmative past my clenched teeth. Kupo hugged the wall now; with Sephiroth so near the moogle was frozen with fear. As the swordsman stepped back into the shadows I heard laughter again, that scintillating, poisonous laughter.
"Then off with you, Warrior of Darkness. You don't have much time, but you already know that."
For several moments I remained genuflected on the parapets. Even with the villain gone the darkness felt oppressive, like it weighed down my limbs. Or was it the utter hopelessness of my mission? Slay a High God? Me? I knew my power not of ordinary warriors, but even all ten of Cosmos's champions could not hope to accomplish such a task.
Given, of course, that the deity existed and with her, her champions.
I did not bemoan my own slavery to Sephiroth. If a single life were saved by my servitude to him I would gladly sacrifice all the remaining years of my life playing party to his amusement. But what of his advancement, I suddenly realized. Warrior of Darkness he called me...did this mean he planned to use me for evil? Killing Shinryu could hardly be considered wicked as the High God was a fickle, vicious being, deserving of death. But what other means did Sephiroth have in mind for me?
As I stood and slumped against the parapet's wall I smiled wryly in darkened contemplation. Fearing what uses Sephiroth had for me after this was pointless; I wasn't going to survive this at all. And that meant Sarah was going to die.
There was a tug on my cape so I glanced down to see Kupo holding the wooden carving. He gestured at me and then at it, making obvious how it mirrored me so well. It was a painful reminder that whatever memories I cherished as truth were little more than the fabrication of my lady. It could hurt no worse than if splinters of that wood slivered into my eyes. I would rather be blinded than face the harshness of this reality.
I stood, forcing myself to focus. I had to hope for success. It was the only thing I had left to hold onto.
This was the worst fairytale ever.
Author's Note: I won't be doing Author's Notes often, but felt it necessary to tell you that I will be using -break- to indicate a change in scene. Normally books show this as several blank lines but doesn't represent that, so I'll go with this. PM me any questions.
