Sister Bernadette sat up slowly as the gravity of the situation started to become clear. What had they done?
"I never meant for this to happen, Sister" he said as he buttoned his shirt and adjusted his tie.
"I don't think either of us intended this, Dr Turner." She responded quietly, looking down at the floor and refusing to meet his eyes.
They both stayed silent.
"I'm so...so very sorry, Sister. I don't know what came over me. You're so..."
"I should go. Timothy will be looking for you..."She cut him off, barely glancing his way as she headed for the curtain before he cut her off.
"Sister, we need to discuss this. I can't just let you go without-"
It was too late. She'd already walked out of the hall, heading back to the fete.
Making her way into the chapel, Sister Bernadette fell to her knees in front of the altar, a pained sob escaping her lips.
"Forgive me, Lord." She whispered, barely able to contain the tears from falling down her face.
Unbeknownst to her, Sister Julienne had arrived back at Nonnatus a few minutes earlier and had been in her office finishing up some notes. Hearing her young Sister's tearful prayers, she immediately made her way into the chapel to comfort her.
"My dear, Sister. Whatever is the matter? Has something happened?" Julienne kneeled next to her, hoping to be of comfort to Sister Bernadette.
"Sister? I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were here. I didn't mean to disturb you." Sister Bernadette wiped her eyes and made to get up.
Putting her hand on her arm, Sister Julienne helped her to sit in a chair beside the altar.
"Sister, I'm more concerned about your well being at the moment. Are you alright?" Sister Julienne glanced down at her hands, noticing red on her palms. "What's happened to your hand?"
Sister Bernadette looked at her confused for a moment before she realized she's never finished bandaging her hand.
"Oh...I fell. Doctor Turner...I took his place in the three legged race with Timothy. We won. But...we fell at the finish line. You know how young boys can be...so excitable." She stood from the chair. "I should go take care of this. Thank you, Sister. I'm sorry I interrupted you."
Sister Julienne watched as she left the chapel and made her way to the clinical room. She had been worried about Sister Bernadette for several weeks, her normally joyous personality seemed to have flickered out. Walking back to her office, she sent up a silent prayer that she would be able to confide in her. All she wanted was to help her find her way back to her old self.
It was Tuesday. Clinic day. Sister Bernadette had done her best to avoid Doctor Turner at all costs. Watching as the last of the patients cleared out of the hall, she made her way into the kitchen to start cleaning up.
Upon entering, her mind flashed back to the last time she'd been in this room. She had been running her hand under the sink, trying to clean the gravel from her wounded palm when he entered.
"Would you like me to have a look at that?"
"Yes"
She extended her hand to him as he came towards her. She watched in silence as he lowered his mouth to her hand, too shocked to move away.
"Sister..." He whispered as he moved closer to her, his lips inches from hers.
The next thing she knew, they were kissing passionately. Her hands had made their way, of their own accord, around his neck as he pressed her body closer to his.
She should stop. She needed to stop. But she didn't. She felt his hands move to her waist, clutching at her through her habit. Her body felt as if it was on fire, a path of flames following every movement of his hands.
She didn't know how it happened, but before she knew it, she was leaning against the countertop as her hands were pulling at his jumper, clinging to him as his hands made their way under her habit. He pulled back to look at her, silently asking for permission.
Wordlessly, she nodded and reached up to claim his lips with hers once more. He wrapped his arms around her, cradling her as he placed her onto the countertop. They moved together for what seemed like forever but also no time at all. Coming back to reality, they looked at one another. Both full of fear, questions and confusion.
"I never meant for this to happen, Sister."
Hearing the curtain rustle, she came back to the present. She didn't need to look over to see who it was, she knew. Taking a deep breath, she looked up at him as he stood in the doorway.
"Greetings, Doctor."
"Sister?...Might I speak with you?"
"Of course, Doctor Turner."
"Patrick."
She froze as he spoke. "I'm sorry?"
He cleared his throat as he made his way towards her, gesturing to the small table and chairs in the corner for her to take a seat. "My name. Patrick. I feel like we're a bit past formal terms." His tone was soft, almost fearful.
Sitting across from one another, they fell into an awkward silence.
"You wanted to speak with me Doctor? Is all well?" Sister Bernadette was using all the power she could muster to keep calm, while her heart was beating a path out of her chest.
"Sister...about what happened. At the fete...I can't apologize enough. I don't know what came over me. I-"
Sister Bernadette cut him off. "You were not alone in those actions, Doctor Turner. I am as much to blame for what occurred as you...please, let us not place blame to assuage our own guilt."
"Sister Bernadette...I want you to know, what I did...I don't regret. I am sorry for the way I acted, but the act itself..."
"Please, Doctor...don't say anything more." She sighed, trying to find the words to convey her feelings. "I...I won't lie to you, I don't regret what happened either, but I made a vow...and though I've broken it already, I cannot in good conscience let it happen again. Even if I wanted to."
"If I didn't accept that, I wouldn't deserve to live. But, Sister Bernadette...I find it very hard to accept."
"I understand, Doctor Turner."
Nodding his head, he stood from the table and made his way out of the kitchen, stopping just outside the kitchen hatch to take a final glance at her before he left the hall.
Hearing the door shut behind him, Sister Bernadette let out a choked sob, resting her head in her hands as she let out all the emotions she'd been trying so desperately to hide.
