A/N: Hey, guys! MAN, it's been a long time since I've updated my FF account. Sorry about that everyone! This was just some little thing that I wrote up for the Anonymous Death Note Kink Meme on livejournal. I didn't go back, look over it, and edit it, so sorry if some things are off! D: And yes, I'm aloud to post it on here too, but if you see this story on livejournal, that's why. xD You'll know it's me now. Hohoho~ Aren't you special? But yeah, nothing too big. Just some, little story about Matsuda. Oh and don't get too excited. This isn't meant to be a smut fic. XD -cough- Although after reading a genderswap fic on the kink meme, I'm not tempted to write a smutty genderswap fic of my own -cough- :)

Warning: If you couldn't tell by how I marked it, this is an L/Matsuda fic! Not only that but this is a MPREG fic! Don't like mpreg, don't read it! D: Oh and even though it's not a "smut fic", this does have sexual themes, so you've been warned. Enjoy~ :)


While knelt down on the cold, tile floor of one of the headquarters bathroom stalls, Matsuda's body shook violently as filth was coughed up out of his system and into the toilet bowl in front of him. After vomiting once more, Matsuda coughed roughly, his content breathing pattern being abruptly thrown off. Although he had tried his best to get all of the throw up into the toilet, he had been a few seconds too late when he first rushed into the stall. There were a few splotches of muddy color on his plain white, dress shirt he had worn to work that day. He rubbed the back of his wrist against his mouth to clean up the bits of vomit that had trailed out of the side of his lips.

With his mind feeling cluttered and dizzy, Matsuda sighed. With a lack of spirit, a depressed look formed on his face as he leaned against the toilet while still on his knees. He clicked the silver handle down to flush down the evidence and coughed once again.

"Oh man," He groaned. His usual light chocolate eyes were now inanimate. They shined a darker brown despite the fluorescent lights of the bathroom that were beginning to give him a headache.

He ran his hand down the black tie he wore, the pads of his fingers finding some contentness at rubbing against the soft material. Truthfully, Matsuda didn't want to move from that spot. He didn't want to head back to the main headquarters room, he didn't want to get back to staring at paperwork all day that hardly made any sense, and he most certainly didn't want to face anyone. They could do better without him anyway, right? He was only making matters worse and slowing them down, he was sure of it.

Through all the sickness, the strongest emotion consuming him was shame alongside embarrassment. Against all logic, Matsuda knew exactly what was wrong with him without for sure knowing. It was like knowing when you're bleeding without physically seeing the fresh wound. It was like having that bad, gut feeling that something bad's going to happen before the event occurs. To put it simply:

Matsuda knew he was pregnant.

That's physically impossible! A man can't get pregnant! He doesn't even have the right genes! He is a man, right? Yes, Matsuda was one hundred percent male, and he's been one every single day of his life. No, he didn't have a vagina, and no, he wasn't a transsexual either.

Despite the unsanitary nature, Matsuda placed his forehead against the rim of the toilet seat and closed his eyes. His free hand balled up into a fist as the other tightened its grip around the top of the toilet. A needle-like, sharp pain struck his chest from the inside. He faintly shook his head as his eyes narrowed. While his free fist lightly hit the tile floor, Matsuda murmured in distress, "This is so stupid!"

The pain in his chest became sharper as he felt himself losing a battle with himself. His voice cracked as he wailed again, "S-So stupid..."

With tears forming behind his closed eyelids, a memory that had been long forgotten within the depths of his mind began to play like an old film. No matter how long it's been since you've seen that one, old film, you'd recognize it as soon as someone hit the play button. Whether you remember it being wonderful or tragic.

Matsuda leaned against the wall of the hallway close to the living room's double doors that were currently cracked open. His gaze was on the floor, but his attention was in the other room. The harsh noises of his parent's arguing worked its way through Matsuda's ears.

"I knew it, Marcie! I knew it from day one!" The rough, bitter shouts of his father were easily recognized.

There was a faint, metallic clang that told Matsuda that his mother was most likely in the kitchen, and even more likely through dishes around. It was a habit of hers when she was angry. She'd go straight to the kitchen to clean or put up dishes and would half throw them around in the process. "Oh, don't you give me that, Harold! Don't you dare give me that!"

"You should have given up that girlie fag when at the hospital! As soon—!"

"You better stop right now—!"

"As soon as the doctor told you he was a freak of nature!"

"How dare you speak that way about our son!" Matsuda's mother practically shrieked. While still in the hallway, Matsuda could picture his veins in his mother's neck pulsing distinctly as if they were going to pop right out of her throat. She had such thin skin physically, and you were always reminded of that when she'd get mad.

"That half gender is not my son!" Matsuda's father growled between gritted teeth.

"He's not a half gender." Marcie's voice became low and strict. "And lower your voice for God's sake! His room is only a few rooms down. He'll hear you."

"I don't give a damn if that faggot hears me!"

"Say 'faggot' one more time, and I swear I'll beat you upside the head with this pot!"

"Come near me and you'll regret it, Woman!"

Matsuda lifted his gaze to exam him arm. Around the wrist of his right hand was a blue, purple, and pink band of string with little tiles through it that read: forever. At that time, he had been a 7th grader and had a wonderful, best friend named Kailey. Earlier that morning at the lunch table while waiting for the first bell to ring, the two of them made friendship bracelets. It had been her idea, but Matsuda didn't object to it. Being just as emotional then as he was now, he was more that thrilled about it. He was more than thrilled to wear the bracelet that Kailey made for him.

When he came home, his father freaked out when he saw what was around his wrist. Sure, Matsuda knew that his father didn't like feminine things and was glad he had a son and not a daughter, but he didn't quite understand the full of it. Well, he didn't understand the complete story until his mother's explanation that he overheard.

"Having a defect doesn't make you a freak of nature!" His mother hissed. "It's not his fault that he was born that way."

"No son of mine is a half gender!"

"He's not a half gender! He's male! One hundred percent male! It's just that—."

"You can't say one hundred percent if you're going ot add something too it!"

Marcie ignored him and continued, "It's just that there's an x chromosome carried on his y chromosome! It's rare, but it doesn't effect anything! He's still a boy! Not a half gender!"

They had continued on their argument, but Matsuda had heared enough. The rest of the words had been blocked out from his memory as he tried to reflect on the information given. Two years later, Matsuda came to terms that his father was also homophobic, which also explained his reactions a little bit more. Also, Matsuda had become bisexual in 9th grade, but his defect still didn't effect anything.

"Until now...," Matsuda whispered as his eyes halfway opened, the sorrel eyes fogged in a daze as he reflected on the past. "Freak of nature?" He huffed through his nose in sadden amusement before he choked out, "G-Guess you were right, Dad."

Painful tears glossed Matsuda's eyes as trails of cold water fell down his face. He gasped in breaths as the sobs that shook him deprived him of air. With his face red and body shaking, Matsuda's raspy breathing filled the bathroom stall as he blocked everything out and just fell victim to the anguish that filled him.

After a few minutes, Matsuda felt too ashamed to let himself lament any longer. Although his heart still felt heavy and more tears formed in his red, swollen eyes, he tried to push his cries back to muffled whimpers. He weakly coughed and gasped in air soon after as the simple cough seemed to drain him of energy and disrupt his breathing further.

He pushed himself away from the toilet bowl and felt himself wobble momentarily. For a second, he feared he wouldn't even be able to balance himself on his knees. Fortunately, Matsuda knew exactly who the father—er, second father—was. Unfortunately...Matsuda wished it was someone else. It would be a heck of a lot easier if it wasn't with him.

A few weeks ago, a bizarre turn of events happened. Matsuda came in late to get a head start on some work files, figuring that he needed more time on the current case than everybody else. Surprisingly for him, Matsuda found L was still awake at one o' clock in the morning. The wild hair detective was still perched in his chair in his odd, cramped, sitting position while staring at the bright screen of the computer. The white light of the monitor only made L's pale features look nearly ghost like. Even from the beginning, the situation felt surreal.

Even now, Matsuda still couldn't explain how it happened. One innocent event lead after another, and suddenly a not so innocent situation took form. It went from flipping through files to bits of smalltalk to a chain of conversation. Then it went from L friendly aiding Matsuda in some of the files to Matsuda's brown eyes locked with L's dark, handsome irises. Oddly enough, things heated up quickly. Every spark that formed became ignited in a fire of passion.

Matsuda could easily recall the overwhelming feeling of being pinned against the lounging couch within the spacey, office room. He remembered how goosebumps swept down his body at the feel of L's teeth nipping at the sensitive flesh of his neck. The way the pads of L's fingers had lightly glided over Matsuda's stripped body had sent pleasurable shivers up his spine. The drugged feeling of the detective being inside him had felt so intoxicating that he couldn't think straight. His dazed gaze had been so foggy it was less work to keep his eyes closed as the man rhythmically slammed into his body. Matsuda had been reminded that choking on air could be exhilarating when overwhelmed with the ecstasy of an orgasm.

However, it was nothing more than a one night stand. They never spoke of it after that. There wasn't even an awkwardness in the air around them. L, being the great detective he is, acted normal around Matsuda. To much of Matsuda's disappointment, it was as if nothing had happened between them at all. He'd admit that he had a slight crush on the sugar addict, so he wasn't surprised by the saddened emotions that swirled inside of him as a result. Matsuda had hoped it'd be a little bit more than just plain sex.

Matsuda wondered if L was relieved that he didn't say anything about their time together. He had almost warned Mogi not to sit down on the couch the day after, but then stopped, decided against it, and just played it off as one of his stupid moments of forgetfulness. Besides, Matsuda was sure Watari probably cleaned the cushions thoroughly or removed them and bought new ones.

The black haired man stared at the tile floor before lightly shaking his head. He sniffled and wiped a drying tear from his face. "How am I going to tell L?" He pondered aloud. He had to tell him, right? L had a right to know Matsuda was bearing his child...as odd as it might sound, especially to the logical detective. Would it be easier to not tell L? Then again, it wouldn't be long before Matsuda's stomach would look a bit plumper than usual.

With that thought, Matsuda cringed. The thought of being pregnant wasn't exactly appealing to the man. If anything, it made him feel even more insecure than he already was. His gaze fell down to his stomach as he gently ran a hand down his tummy. He hadn't taken a pregnancy test yet, but he was fairly sure of the truth. This wasn't just some random bug he caught. No, it was definite morning sickness.

An abrupt knock on one of the far stalls caused Matsuda to roughly flinch. "Matsuda, you all right?" It was Aizawa. Quickly becoming nervous, Matsuda felt his heart pounding heavily in his chest. He still looked like a mess after wailing and vomiting. "I-I'm," Matsuda stopped to clear his throat when his voice cracked. "I'm fine! Uhh, yeah! Sorry! I'll be out in a minute!"

Matsuda looked over to see Aizawa's shoes towards the bathroom's entrance. At least he wasn't coming over to investigate or anything. "All right...Just making sure you didn't fall in or anything."

A small, humored smile formed on Matsuda's face. "No, I'm fine."

When the man exited the bathroom, the smile quickly left Matsuda's face. He sighed again before standing, having a bit more strength now. Disliking his now dirtied, dress shirt, Matsuda unbuttoned it and lifted it over his head. He placed the shirt on the back of the toilet before picking up his black, suit jacket that was hanging on the door. Matsuda guessed that no one would probably notice the slight change. If they did, he could always lie and say he hadn't been feeling good all day. They'd probably get onto him and say how he was going to give the flu to the rest of the team, but at least they wouldn't guess the truth behind his sickness.

Hoping no one wouldn't notice his still swollen eyes that looked more of the pinkish side, he stepped out of the stall. Matsuda placed his dress shirt underneath the sink in the corner, believing that no one would take notice of it being there. He'd pick it up when work was over. Then once work was over and everyone was gone, Matsuda planned on telling L the news. Matsuda took in a deep breath as he stared himself down in the mirror in front of him. He sighed and turned to head out. Under his breath he murmured, "I don't think I've had a worse Monday."


Happy New Year, you guys! :D
I hope everyone is having a wonderful 2011 so far!