"Hinata?" Naruto's voice echoed in Hinata's head. "'ttebayo!" She rolled over in her state of mind, hanging somewhere between sleep and consciousness. It wasn't quite REM, but a similar state of mind. She squeezed her eyes tightly in on themselves as a small drop of liquid excreted from the left eye, then one from the right. She opened them as the hanging consciousness lifted and she was fully awake, although exhausted. She sat up and placed her face in her hands, a few more tears forcing their way out of her stinging eyes. She smacked her forehead once, then twice and then slipped back to her back, staring at the open sky.
What was is she had expected? She couldn't even decide herself. She had told him everything, and he just brushed it off. He had tried to let her down easy… or at least that's how she took it:
i"N-Naruto-kun?" Hinata asked softly, Naruto stopped his quick strides in front of her and turned to face her, smiling innocently.
"Yes, Hinata?" He asked; a happy tone escaping his lungs. He never seemed sad when he was around other people.
"I… I know we're on a mission… but… can… I tell you something… important?" Hinata stuttered out slowly, pausing often to build her courage at each step.
"Sure!" Naruto said, turning the rest of his body as though it seemed like he was ready to embrace her. "Let's sit down over here." He motioned to some rocks. He had heard about her issues at home. Neji had snapped and almost killed Hiashi and was now in a small cell; and her father, Hiashi was in the hospital in critical condition. Hinata's home had broken quickly, and Naruto assumed that she wanted to talk about it. He wanted to help her through this hard time.
"Naruto-kun…" Hinata said softly as they both planted their behinds on the rocks. "Have you… ever been in love?" Naruto smiled blankly, completely thrown off guard and simply smiled as he ran a possible answer through his head.
"Of course!" Naruto smiled raising his head in confidence. "With Sakura-chan!"
"Oh…" Hinata frowned, dropping her head. Of course he loved her; he never tried to hide it.
"Why do you wanna know something like that, anyway; Hinata?" Naruto asked. Hinata's heart leapt a little. Every time Naruto said her name, it was like someone shocked her with defibrillators; straight to her heart. Just the way his mouth formed the syllables: He-Not-Tuh; his exaggeration on the middle syllable, and how he almost always muttered it questioningly. She always fantasized about it; how he said her name so differently than anyone else she knew. She regained her composure and continued.
"I… I just want to tell you…" She cut off. Could she do it? How many times could she get away with making up stuff at the last minute so she wouldn't have to tell him what she really wanted to?
"Y'know, Hinata," Naruto said, placing his hand on hers. He was still concerned that she was upset about Neji and Hiashi, and he wanted her to confide her pain in him. He had always tried to shoulder other's pain and this was no different. Sad Hinata was bad in his eyes, he wanted her to smile, just for the sake of being able to smile a little because of it. "I'm here for you. I heard about what you've been going through, and you can talk to me about it." He had no idea what she really wanted to say.
"I… I love you, Naruto-kun…" Hinata said quickly, before covering her face with her hands. She didn't dare look at his reaction.
Naruto was beyond shocked. What was that for? Where did that even come from? He thought she wanted to talk about Neji and Hiashi; and he would just tell her everything was going to be all right and that he was already planning on talking to them both about it. What was this though? She loved him?
"H-Hinata…?" Naruto asked; stuttering on her name for the first time ever. "Is-is that true?" Hinata nodded through her hands, not moving them to actually see Naruto's reaction. "Oh…" Naruto couldn't even think of what to say. He had a speech planned for what he THOUGHT she was going to say; but… this? What COULD he say? He wanted to make her feel better, but he didn't know how.
"I'm sorry, Naruto-kun," Hinata said moving her hands and looking up at him, her eyes red from half-crying, half-trying to keep from crying. "I… I shouldn't have said anything like that." She faked a really bad smile. "Uh… let's just continue on this mission. It's just a Level D so it should be easy enough." She stood up and walked away sadly.
Naruto stayed there on the rock for a second, not moving. Thoughts ran through his head. He had never heard anyone EVER say that to him. Even Granny Tsunade; even Jiraya-sama, or Iruka-sensei, or Kakashi-sensei. Not one person before. He assumed that they all loved him; but they never said it before./i
Hinata sobbed silently, not wanting to wake Naruto up in his tent. She just felt so bad. She had finally told Naruto, and nothing had changed. She wasn't sure if it would've been better for her to just reject him. She felt like he just didn't care; like it was nothing to him. She wiped the tears and turned over as another sob hit her; this time harder, causing a small puddle of snot to escape her nose in it. She wiped it up cleanly with the tissues she kept in her pocket on missions, just in case she or another member of her team caught a cold. She blew her nose so that next time she sobbed it would be clean. She rolled back to her back and gazed up at the blurry sky. All of the stars seemed bigger, but less defined. Hinata wiped her eyes with her sleeve and continued thinking. His voice still rang in her head: i
"Do you like Ramen, Hinata?" "Want me to teach you my Oiroke no Jutsu, Hinata?" "Hinata? Are you okay?" "Hey Hinata! Let's go play a trick on Kurenai-sensei! I have a great idea!" "Hey Hinata, is this the bug we're looking for!?" /i"Hinata… Please don't cry."
That last one didn't seem familiar. She turned her head slightly and there stood Naruto, positioning himself to sit next to her. He smiled and frowned at the same time. Hinata wondered how someone who's eyes always showed such a deep sadness; could smile so brightly, despite them. She couldn't help herself, and was immediately drawn to his eyes; the sadness in them; it was always there; except around Sakura.
"Hinata… I'm sorry," Naruto said simply, his smile fading into a more serious look. His eyes still screamed in misery. "I was a jerk before. I was just so surprised."
"N-No!" Hinata interjected, her voice cracking slightly as the lump in her throat was being forced away by pure willpower. "It's okay! I just wanted to say it! You don't have to do or say anything about it; okay?" She fell back into her a shell a little, holding the pillow in front of her as she squeezed it. She was being rather brave.
"No," Naruto said; sitting up slightly and placing his hand on one of hers again. "I… I should've been more sensitive. A-apparently you love me…" He chuckled nervously. "C-can… I ask why?"
"Mmhmm," Hinata mumbled as she shook her head and tried to build more confidence. "I… I just admire you." She paused for a moment and Naruto's shock seemed to show again. "I… I always watched you… you… you overcame so much. You always smiled; even though you were sad."
Naruto nodded as she continued. He listened; listened intently to every word that escaped Hinata's heart. He tried to understand what she was talking about.
"When… when people treated you poorly… you didn't give up. You could have… most people would have… maybe you should have… but you didn't. You looked at all of those people that mocked you; that feared you; that said you couldn't be like them; that you couldn't be strong. You looked at them and you smiled. You were so sad; I know; but you still smiled. You even smiled when you cried. You were so strong. You just looked at them and said that they were wrong. You said that no matter what; you would prove that they were wrong about you. You didn't even believe it yourself… I watched you when you trained alone sometimes. You used to cry out about how hard it was. You would give up; and say that it wasn't worth it; but then when you stopped; and you started crying; you'd just smile. I never knew why. I couldn't understand how you could be so strong. I tried to be that strong… but I couldn't…" She paused for a long time, and she noticed a tear in the corner of Naruto's left eye. It was slowly dripping down his face and into the corner of his smiling mouth. This was what she didn't understand.
"I couldn't be that strong," Hinata continued. "I tried; every time I cried, I would try to smile. Whenever my father told me that I was useless, I would look at him and try to smile. I kept telling myself that I could do it. I told myself that he was wrong. But… I couldn't, until when I could. I… I don't know how, or why; I just remember watching you as you trained. You were throwing your kunai knives into a tree, and you kept missing. You chased after them every time, and after so many hours, you fell over. I thought you were dead. But… then you laughed. The tears that were streaming down your face didn't even seem to matter. You just started laughing as you cried. I thought you had gone insane; but then you stood up, and you threw a kunai knife… and it hit the bull's eye. I… decided that day… that I could do it too. As long as I believed like you… as long as I knew that if I keep trying; I can do it. And I did. Th-thank you for that… Naruto-kun."
Hinata buried her face back in her hands and laid back down. She hadn't ever told anyone like that. She had never explained why she loved Naruto; not even to herself in so many words. It was almost a relief, to tell someone; and she believed it even more now than she had before.
"Hinata… I don't love you," Naruto said sadly. "But I can try."
"Nani!?" Hinata asked, shocked, as she sat up.
"You just helped me a lot… again," Naruto smiled. His eyes were soft now. The sadness; the tightness around them seemed to have loosened. "I don't have much memory of you before the Chuunin exams. But you helped me a lot from then on. You gave me a reason to fight Neji; and you told me that you believed in me. Did you know that you're still the only person to ever say that to me?"
"N-no…" Hinata admitted. "But… I do. I believe you can do anything."
"Good!" Naruto smirked. "Because I'm gonna be the Hokage someday!" He held his fist out in front of him, dramatically.
"Yes… you will," Hinata smiled. "N-Naruto-kun? D-do you believe in me?"
"Of course!" Naruto smiled. "I believe you can do anything you want. You may even be Hokage someday too. I mean, hey, if Granny Tsunade can, so can you!" He beamed at Hinata. "Umm… anyway… Hinata… do you love me, love me, or just love me?"
"What do you mean?" Hinata asked, confused.
"Well… do you love me like Tsunade loves me; or do you love me like Tsunade loves ero-sennin?" Naruto asked. He meant if she loved him like a friend, or romantically.
"Oh…" Hinata said, understanding the question. Now she was embarrassed again. It probably wouldn't matter what she said at this point, but she might as well tell the truth. "Like… Godaime and Jiraya-sama." She smiled nervously, taking a page from Naruto's book.
"Good!" Naruto said adamantly. "Then we should go see a movie or something… and some ramen… and some dumplings!"
"L-l-like a d-d-date!?" Hinata asked, shocked and embarrassed.
"Yeah, like that," Naruto smiled. "I don't know if I love you; but I do really like you, Hinata. We should… do that kinda stuff… you called it a date right?"
"Y-yes," Hinata stuttered.
"Well, would that be okay then?" Naruto asked. "When we get back, we can go on a date?"
"S-sounds good," Hinata said, still not believing what was happening. "B-but… we should get some sleep tonight. We can finish the mission and go home tomorrow."
"Great!" Naruto smiled. Then he stopped for a second. He looked at her. "Uh… are we supposed to kiss now?"
Hinata giggled nervously at his ignorance. She smiled and wordlessly she sat there; unable to actually answer.
"Umm… well, I just heard that…" Naruto said nervously as he twiddled his own thumbs a little. "I just heard that when people like each other they're supposed to kiss… and stuff. That's what the ero-sennin always said at least." He then stood up. "Never mind… I'll just… uhh… go to bed then."
"No!" Hinata said, louder than seemed possible from her state. Naruto looked back at her, shocked and confused. "I… I want to… to…" She didn't need to finish before Naruto kneeled down next to her. She smiled nervously and as he leaned in to tap their lips together she fainted.
