Disclaimer: We do not own Fullmetal Alchemist. Some content may be offending to some people who cannot take jokes. We are Teenagers without a life… Give us a break.

((A/N: We mock in pure love of the show. Some things might be based on other random things we see. The characters are also based off of the originals , of course, but somewhat off ourselves. Be warned. If you get confused. Sam is Ed, Alex, is Al. Cool, ain't it? XD))


Chapter 1: The Prophet of Lior

Ed and Al, who was a large suit of Armour, were walking through the desert. Al is was singing, much to Ed's horror. "In the desert, no one remembers your name…. Something something… I can't remember the words…."

Ed retorted, with a twitchy eye, "SHUT UP! You are a horrible singer. Simon Crowell would call you 'Bloody Horrible'. Heck, I'M calling you FREAKING HORRIBLE!"

Al smiled, you just can't see it. HA! " Don't worry, I know I can't sing, Big brother… or little sister… no wait… never mind. Besides, nobody lives out here, so no one can hear me."

"I CAN HEAR YOU, DUMBASS!"

"Let me rephrase that, Anybody over five feet tall can hear me."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLIN' SO SMALL YOU COULD STEP ON HIM AND NOT EVEN FEEL ANYTHING ON YOUR FOOT?"

"Hey… is that Lior?" Al asked, somewhat ignoring his brother.

"Yeah, I think so." Ed managed to calm down in two seconds. "Race you!"

"Alright!" Al phones began running, but tripped on… sand? "How in the hell do you tripped on sand!" Al shouted as he got back up. Ed was just standing there holding in his laughter. Al took two more step, but this time he fell right into the sand, only the little spike on his head sticking up.

"HA HA!" Ed pointed and laughed as he ran to Lior, leaving his little brother behind.

"Hey!" Al shouted, "I've fallen and I can't get up!"

In Lior town square

Ed is now walking slowly, panting like a little puppy dog. Yay. Al pops up behind him, "'Allo, poppit." He says, rather scarily if you ask me.

"AH!" Ed screams and runs into a large fountain of wine. "THE HELL, AL?"

"Teehee."

"How'd you get out of the sand, anyway, Alphonse?"

"Plot device, Mr. Frodo… I mean, Brother, Plot device." Al grinned, again, you can't see it. HAHAHA! Anyway, Al continued, "Let's see where we can get a bit of grub. McLiordals, Liorbucks, And some Chinese place I can't pronounce the name of."

Ed is desperately trying to pronounce the name, and everyone stares at him.Yay.

"Brother, please stop… people are staring." Al sighed

"Maybe it's because You're wearing FREAKING ARMOUR IN THE DESERT!"

"You know I can't help it brother. Besides, you're just jealous because I'm cooler looking."

"…Never mind that. Let's just stop talking and go to Liorhut… no wait, There's a bar over there. And that's Guy ISN'T staring. Wait… never mind…"

"Screw that, I'm going to the bar."

"You can't even drink, Al."

"Sure, just CRUSH MY DREAMS!" Al cries and runs to the bar, "One scotch on the rocks, Bud."

The guy at the bar stares at Al for a moment, then sighs, "Got I.D.?"

"I'm in frickin Armour! And I need I,D.?"

"Yup."

Ed walks up. "One orange soda pop with a hint of lemon, lime and other fun fruits!" Ed grins.

"That's creative…." Al mocked.

"At least I'm not the 14 year old, who's asking for scotch."

"Shut up. And keep it down…. I almost had him."

The bartender dude man blinked, "Sorry… Sir? I can't give you this drink."

"I'll have it." Some random hobo grins.

"'Kay." The bartender grins back. Geeky Cult salute! That reminds me… time for Father Cornello!"

"Time for Who?" Ed raised an eyebrow.

"Yo momma!" Some other random dude shouted.

"How creative…" Ed sighed rolling his eyes.

"Father Cornello is our Cult leader… I mean… A commissioner of God!" The bartender shined.

"Sounds like a load of crap to me." Ed poked the orange plant sticking out of his drink. "What is this?" He pokes it again, this time it moves.

"Who do you think you are, anyway?' The bartender gets all defensive.

"I'm The Fullmetal Alchemist, Edward Elric." Ed grinned, Al stole the scotch back from the Hobo and tried to drink it, only t o have it exit the Armour through the cracks.

"Not here, Al. Couldn't you have waited till we got to a toilet?" Ed growled sarcastically.

"Very funny, brother." Al would have stuck his tongue out. "I'm going to rust!"

"Your own damn fault."

"Back to CORNELLO!" The dude screamed.

"What, are you his lover or something?" Ed stared/

"…I wish…" Bartender whispered under his breath. Al heard it and chuckled, "Anyway, he can perform miracles. It's so darn hot… I mean cool."

Ed raised an eyebrow, "You suck."

"I wouldn't order another drink, Ed…. They might spike it." Al shudders. "So where is this Cornello dude?"

"In the castle of mystical power."

"What the hell…." Ed looks at his brother.

"I think he means the Temple. See?" Al hold out a tourist map. "Hey, we should go check out the theme park later."

"Yeah, how about not, Al?"

"DREAM CRUSHER!"

"Let's go check this castle er… 'Temple' out." Ed sat up, and began walking, Al did the same, but he knocked over the radio, breaking it.

"Whoops." Al laughed nervously, he then ran off fast as he could behind his brother.