Dear Miss Hofferson,
You looked lovely today at training. You know, I've always thought you had such a nice pale complexion and blood really looks good on your alabaster face.
Yours,
HHH III
§§§
Dear Mr Haddock,
Thank you for your letter, I only wish it was your blood.
AH
PS Have I ever mentioned you have a big head?
§§§
Dear Miss Hofferson,
I was pretty sure that my head was fairly regular-sized, but I've checked the statics with Mr Fishlegs, and it turned out that my head was actually 1.4 inches smaller than the average Viking head.
Truly Yours,
HHH III
§§§
Hey Astrid,
It's Fishlegs. I've measured several heads in the village and I think it's safe to say that Hiccup's head is among the smaller ones. Based on my statistics, the average...
Okay, Ruffnut tore up my papers, so you have to take my word for it.
Okay, got to go now, Ruffnut is hitting my head with a rotten salmon...
Fishlegs
§§§
Fishlegs,
Thanks, but I'm not really interested in numbers. Unless it's headcount. I like to count the heads I've chopped.
A.
§§§
Dear Mr Haddock,
I'm not a fan of statistics, I believe in what I see with my own eyes. I still think your head is far bigger than it should be and I'd love to help you solve this problem with my axe.
AH
§§§
Dear Miss Hofferson,
The thing is, I like my head the way it is.
Will you attend the Viking soccer tournament next weekend?
HHH III
§§§
Dear Mr Haddock,
I will, of course. Why?
AH
§§§
Dear Miss Hofferson,
We could practice together. I have a pretty neat ball.
HHH III
§§§
Dear Mr Haddock,
I can assure you that I'm not interested in your ball.
AH
PS I thought you had only lost a limb while fighting that big ass dragon.
§§§
Dear Miss Hofferson,
I meant the leather ball I had sewn in the forge last week.
HHH III
PS I've only lost a foot. All other parts of me are fully present and functional. Check if you don't believe me.
§§§
Dear Mr Haddock,
A boy who actually sews? Lame, lame, lame.
Will you come the Ruff-Tuff birthday bash?
(Soccer was boatloads of fun. So sorry you ended up in Fishleg's team.)
AH
Dear Miss Hofferson,
See you at the party in the Meade Hall.
(Don't care, we did our best.)
HHH III
§§§
Dear Mr Haddock,
I'm pretty sure I offered my shoulder to cry on and not my breast.
Although thank for your kind comments on its size and shape.
However, I advise that you stay away from alcohol, when you're in such an emotional mood.
AH
§§§
Hey, Ass-trid,
Saw you leave with Hiccs.
Did something* interesting** happen?
Tuffs
*By 'something', I mean did you bang?
** By 'interesting', I mean any dork*** poses?
*** By 'dork', I mean Hiccup, coz he is a dork.
§§§
Tuffnut,
Are you high? Shall I draw you a new face with my axe?
A.
PS Just to inform you, I spell my name with one 'S'.
§§§
Dear Miss Hofferson,
Sorry about touching your breast, it was an accident. Will never happen again.
Shame on me,
HHH III
§§§
Dear Mr Haddock,
Enough with the 'accidents', please refrain from 'accidentally' touching my bum during training, too.
Yours sincerely,
AH
§§§
Dear Miss Hofferson,
Look who's talking? I can actually feel when your watchful eyes burn a hole on the back of my pants.
Yours,
HHH III
§§§
Dear Mr Haddock,
I'll poke my eyes with a hot iron bar just to prove you that I'm NOT checking out your hindquarters.
AH
§§§
Dear Miss Hofferson,
I'd gladly help you with the hot iron bar, come see me at the forge.
HHH III
§§§
AAAstrid!
Hiccup at the forge, shirtless!
If you chop him up, which I'm sure you'll do pretty soon, please, give his torso to me, I wanna sleep on those abs!
Ruffy
§§§
Hey Ruff,
Sure thing, sister.
I have an axe that needs to be sharpened, I might chop him up with that, once he had done it.
A.
Hiccup,
I have a serious business with a... person.
Won't be at the forge this evening.
Be a good lad, don't ruin the smithy.
Uncle G.
§§§
Dear Gobber,
Why on earth would I ruin the smithy?
Hiccup
§§§
Son,
You're clumsy as Hel. I don't take my chances.
So again, be careful.
Uncle Gobber
PS I don't mind if you invite a lass over, just make sure, you clean up your mess.
PSS Don't tell your dad I've said that.
§§§
Gobber,
Why on Earth would I invite a girl to the forge?
And what mess are you talking about?
I'm confused...
Hiccup
§§§
Hiccup,
Probably I should have used the word 'numpty' instead of 'clumsy'
UG
§§§
Dear Mr Haddock,
Could you possibly sharpen my axe this evening?
I might need it later...
AH
§§§
Dear Miss Hofferson,
I'm not sure I can do it tonight. I'm pretty busy,
Gobber left all the work to me.
But come by, I'll try to squeeze you in.
HHH III
§§§
Dear Mr Haddock,
See you at 8.
AH
PS Don't even think about squeezing me!
§§§
Oh, Sweet Milady,
Wish you could drop by the forge every night when I'm alone.
It was... awesome.
XXX,
Hiccup
