Excruciating Ardor

Chapter 1

So Many Questions.

WARNING: THIS CHAPTER MAY CONTAIN DISTURBING CONTENT. CONSIDER YOURSELVES WARNED.

Yes, already, and like I said, you've been warned. Its just I don't feel all that nice right now.

Anyways, another crappy fanfic I don't need to be making. I don't know how many chapters will be in this one. Im just winging it here on this one. This is going to be a very dramatic story, and in some places a bit sad so ya. Sadness is yucky. But I like to write about it. :p And the fact that this chapter sucks has everything to do with the fact it was 2:03 A.M. and this weird tapping at my window was keeping me up. I just kinda HAD to write. It was bugging me. I hadn't written in a while, and I didn't feel like updating any other of my [[literally 3 or 4 other stories.

I DON'T OWN ANY CHARACTERS [[cept maybe Landon but he's not actually a character… IN THIS STORY! I DON'T OWN KINGDOM HEARTS EITHER [[though I wish I did. I DON'T OWN THE SONG DEMYX SINGS THAT IS MY FRIEND XANDRIA'S WORK! DON'T STEEL IT OR ELSE!

OH! and the description is lyrics from 'Knife vs. Face Round 1' By Drop Dead, Gorgeous.

Alright, to the story!


I wasn't one of those to be optimistic. I was a solitude type. I left people alone, they left me alone. I was happy with it and it was how most of my life was. Of course am not saying I was HAPPY with being alone, I just saying didn't like people getting to close, most of the time it didn't turn out so good. In fact, my life sucked. I've been caught attempting suicide by many people. Like every good citizen would, they tried and succeeded in stopping me. I was sick of my life. I wish they would stop catching me, there's no motivation to live you know…

Oh, there was one occasion people paid 'attention' to me.

"Too bad that someone caught us beating you Zex, now you'll get pummeled twice as much for your punishment!"

I winced at hearing their voices. Why!? Why did I have to be the punching bag again? Couldn't they just pick on the freshman's for once?

I turned around, rolled up fists and evil conniving grins, aimed my way.

"Bu-but I didn't TELL on you guys! Someone just caught you! It wasn't my fault!" I tried to convince them, but it didn't work, it never did…

"Oh, but EVERYTHINGS your fault Zexy Baby!" Landon made some kissy face at me and used that strange mocking voice he used to piss me off.

"Don't you dare say that!" I hissed back. I glared daggers at them. What if everything was my fault? Maybe my dad and mom dying was my fault. My brother having to take care of us was my fault wasn't it?

He laughed and gave his 'gang' a look. They started towards me. I made no effort to move. I knew they were too fast for me.

I winced with pain as the first blow came down on my head, causing a massive headache. They socked me in the stomach a couple of times, kicked me here and there. The usual 'give you a fucked up face' beat down they daily gave me. They repeated themselves over and over, fists and feet pounding harder and faster with every punch and boot. I yelled, trying to get someone's attention, but I knew it wasn't any use, we were in a part of the school were no one went. After I stopped fighting them they drug me to a car and threw me in.

"Wha-What are you doing?" I started to cry. They've never done this before. I was scared out of my mind. Someone crawled in the car and shut the back. I couldn't make out who it was, it was too dark. A harsh hand pulled me towards them, to were I was lying on my back. They spread my legs and pulled my pants and boxers to my knees. I gasped when I realized what they were doing. I thrashed about trying to get them off, but I was too weak. This time, they went farther than just a beating. I screamed in horror as he harshly entered my body. I yelled louder, ever more desperate than normal. My desperate moves only made him thrust harder, and made it hurt worse. It hurt, oh did it hurt. After several minutes, I eventually stopped trying to get him off it didn't. He stopped on his own, and pulled my pants back up. Oh that was nice of him. He backed out of the car and left for class. As they left I could here there hollow laughs. I sat there in the corner of the car, huddled in a ball rocking back and forth. For the first timed in ages, I wish I had someone to comfort me, and tell me it was ok. But I didn't have anyone.

Just then the bell rang. Oh great, Professor Xemnas is going to kill me…

I got up as quick as I could, crawled out of the car, and limped to class. I burst the doors open and walked quickly to my seat. People stared at me as a walked down the narrow isles. My new flaws were clearly evident on my face and arms. I probably looked like a dead person but I didn't care. Professor Xemnas was writing things on the white board, and he just barely turned around when I entered.

"Nice to see you're joining the class, Zexion. What took you? "

"I was uh, using the restroom…" I mumbled. Lame excuse… He looked at me, and saw what I looked like. His eyes widened.

"Right," he said, "just…don't let it happen again."

I whispered ok and took my seat, opened my text book to where we were, and began reading. I silent tear ran down my cheek. When the full extent of the situation hit me, I, as silently as I could, started sobbing, so hard I couldn't breathe. I felt so hurt, and most of all, lonely, more lonely than I've been in my lifetime.

I sat at the edge of my bed and strummed my sitars melodic chords. I just loved the sound of my beautiful instrument.

"Baby, why can't we start over?

Start from scratch. Just start again.

Forget what happened.

Leave our troubles, our sorrows, and our empty past.

Maybe then we could make it last.

Come out of the darkness, leave everything.

Just look forward, don't look back.

Take my hand, and walk with me.

Don't think about it. Just leave it all.

If you stumble…I'll be there to stop your fall.

Come with me, I'm here for you.

Maybe then we could make it through…"

My little brunette brother smiled at me sweetly.

"Yeah, I like it! It's perfect! Well done Demmy." Sora clapped and I bowed.

"Thank you, thank you." I paused for a bit. "Alright, I got it!" I jumped up and started dancing. He and I laughed. Music was my passion, and when I get a piece just right, I freakin go crazy.

"I think you're a good singer you should start a band" he chuckled. "Anyways, how do you think about going to this new school tomorrow?"

"Not so much…" I replied.

"Well it's not like you have anything to worry about! You're good at making new friends! Roxy and I aren't so lucky. We don't have those skills."

"Ya your right… but still, I'm nervous. Will the people be like the ones back home? Not those evil bastards like everywhere else, and what about grades? Will it be harder?"

Sora shook his head playfully. "You and Roxy are so paranoid loosen up and stop worrying about all that stupid stuff! We'll love it here, just like mom said!" Momma's boy. He tackled me to the floor. I laughed at his idioticness, if that's a word…

"If you say so..." I got up, grabbed my sitar, and went outside to the front yard. Laying my sitar ever so carefully on the ground, I took in the sights. The neighborhood we moved to was beautiful. Everyone's lawns were perfectly green, and the people were pleasant enough from what I've seen. Even though I didn't want to admit it I kinda liked the place. I've also seen the outside of the new high school, it looked nice, and thousands of kids were there. I was kinda scared when I saw it. I moved here from a small town, not some huge city like this. I took a deep sigh at the thought. Stupid genes… I sat down and started playing the song I had just completed. Soon I was lost in the notes and tunes.

My zoning out was disturbed by the sound of a sighing bus. I looked to the direction of the sound. The high school kids were unloading off the bus. They all looked strangely the same. But there was one with long bluish silver hair. He was kinda scary looking, the only different one in the bunch actually, and he looked strangely apart from everyone. Great.

A group of girls walked by me. They glanced my way and I smiled at them. They giggled and started whispering to there friends. To bad I wasn't like that, they were quite beautiful.

"Demyx hunny, Time to come inside and eat!" My mom called from the front door. I'm glad I looked like her. I got up and ran to the door.

"I wonder how Dem-Dem's gonna handle school. He's always such a nervous wreck when we move to a new place. I can understand though." Roxas gave me a playful glare. I stuck my tongue out him.

"Shut your face and eat your dinner!" I laughed, throwing a small amount of food at him. Sora looked at both of us like we had six heads. I don't see what he was talking about, he was bi.

"Alright boys, that's enough. It's not nice to tease about that kind of stuff." She giggled and tossed a spoonful of food at Roxas. "And after you do the dishes, you guys need to go to bed. School starts tomorrow!"

We all sighed and walked to the sink. After the dishes, as mom instructed, we scurried off to bed. We all decided to sleep in one room that night.

"You think they'll accept that were, you know…" he trialed off.

"Ya Roxy, they will. The other schools did. But just in case this time, don't get on a table and scream it." I laughed a little. But it was a fake one. I knew they wouldn't accept that we were all at least partially gay. I mean, if we were in Las Vegas or something, then maybe they would. But we were in Pebble Beach, California. No nothing like Las Vegas.

"Good night Roxas, good night Demmy."

"Good night Sora, good night Demmy."

I sighed. "Good night Roxas, good night Sora."

With that we all fell asleep.


Told you it was icky. D: Sorry if that first part disturbed you. It has a lot to do with the story. Geez, I never knew how much Breaking Benjamin can make you feel depressed.

And please no bad reviews. They can be like "That's sad" or something like that, but don't be like "OMG YOUR SO SICK! I HATE YOU DON'T CONTINUE THIS OR ELSE!" Yeah, that won't be tolerated. There are far worse stories than this.

Elise L. [[DemmyandZexy