On My Mind
This was a bad idea, he thought.
He turned on his heels and started down the driveway, feeling stupid for even trying. When he was halfway to the gate he heard a faint voice from behind him. Turning around he felt his breath get caught in his throat. She looks so fragile. So broken. Like one touch would break her into a million pieces, but she was still the most beautiful girl he's ever seen. She looked like a delicate porcelain doll. He took a few long strides towards her, but stopped two feet away from her.
"Miles," he said barely above a whisper.
"Why are you here?" Her voice was stronger than what her body language portrayed.
"I -" he stuttered, not noticing the suitcases behind her.
"Listen, if you're just going to choke on your words you might as well leave. I have places to go," she
spat at him. She picked up her suitcase and stepped past him. He turned as she walked by him.
"Where are you going?"
"I'm going on tour, Nick. The after, I'm off to Australia, want to come? I know how much you love Australians,"
she said, her tone laced with annoyance and a hint of hurt. Nick let out a frustrated sigh, running his hand through his hair he spoke to her, his voice hard.
"You know, Mi. I do recall you having quite a thing for Australians. Don't you remember? Cause I sure
do," He was getting annoyed with people taking immature blows at him just because he is dating a twenty six year old. Miley stopped in her tracks, knowing she'd gone too far and upset him. But he had done the same thing to her, multiple times. When she spoke again she could feel his presence behind her and her voice grew quieter and shakier.
"Why are you showing her off to the world? Why did you never show me off? Tell the world that I was
yours and you were mine?"
She didn't really want an answer from him. She just wanted to get that off her chest. Make him realize that she was hurting too. He looked down at his beat up converse. Even though her back was towards him, he still felt as though she was looking right through him. Like his every flaw and every fault was completely visible to her. He knew that she could read him like a book. She knew when he was lying, knew when he was hurt and tried to hide it. He tried so many times to fix his mistakes but it just never seemed to be enough for her.
"I - Miley... I just wanted to feel something again. I was sick and tired of feeling empty. Like a desperate loser who would sit in his apartment all day in sweatpants eating chips and feeling like a piece of crap! I just – I don't know,"
Shaking her head, she continued down the driveway to where a black SUV just pulled up. He walked after her. He wouldn't be able to forgive himself of he let her go one more time. He knew she was done. Knew she'd had enough of his games and childish behaviour. He grabbed onto her free hand, almost tripping and falling over her large suitcase. She turned around, her blazing gaze reaching his eyes. She looked tired. She felt tired. She felt like Nick would use her, like a tissue when he had a cold, and then throw her away until the next time he "needed" her.
"Mi, you know I'll always love you. And I just -" He shook his head. He needed to get this perfect.
"There's something about you. There's a fire inside your eyes and I you have my heart. My whole heart. And I can't seem to get you off my mind. It's like you permanently set up camp in my head. You're always there in the back of my brain and there is no way I could ever forget you. I know I screwed up so many times, but I want to fix it. I want to fix it so badly. Because I can't forget."
"I need you. I want you. I love you, so so much and I need to you to know that." He put his heart out on
the line, hoping she'd take it again.
Tish, her mother, rolled down the tinted black windows. "Let's go, Miley. We have a flight to catch," She flipped her platinum blond hair behind her shoulders, not acknowledging Nick. Miley nodded at her then turned back to Nick. She took a step away from him. The close proximity would surely cause her to give into him once again. Like she always did when he apologized and looked at her with those big
chocolate orbs that made her melt.
"Nick, you know this doesn't change anything. You're still with her. And the sweet words you said won't make me forget all the things you did that you said you wouldn't. It's like you forgot everything that happened when we were thirteen and all the promises you made to me. You know I love you but it doesn't change anything, Nicky."
"I'm sorry," She gave him a small peck on the cheek before turning towards the car. She loaded her luggage into the trunk before getting into the back seat with her mother. The window was still down and she gave him a sad smile before rolling it up once again. His fingertips flew to where her lips had just been and he felt like he just got his heart broken for the first time. The driver started the engine and they began to drive away. Then, the car rounded the corner and disappeared like it was never there in the first place. Just like a mirage in his mind. He contemplated going after her. But who did he think he was? Like she was going to drop everything in her life just so she could be with him. He was still with Delta, still acting like a child and was being completely stupid. Maybe he could've stopped her at the airport like one of those cheesy romantic movies that she always loved to watch. But he knew it was too late, knew
he'd been too late once again. She was gone. Not forever, but she'd never be his. But he'd never be able to get her off his mind; she'd be there all the time.
